29 December 2008

Pandemonium weekend... 29th December

Writing this blog (whilst on the euro tunnel) is keeping me occupied and also keeping my mind off the horrendous hunger which has come over me. 


Christmas day turned out to be spectacular in the end, we had a lovely time together and they didn't drive me too mad. On Boxing day I went snowboarding all day and was joined by my father half way through the day who tried to out do me on the slopes. It goes without saying that he failed at doing so miserably. His jumps were nowhere near up to the calibre of my flips haha. Gabrielle and my mother on the other hand skiied like ladies in their fur and sunglasses and Gabrielle sat and talked to Paris Hilton for a while in a cafe haha. I returned to London from Aspen alone on Saturday evening, my parents had cancelled all of their meetings and other work related things in order to take Gabrielle to Paris to discuss her latest idea of going back into dancing - meaning I have been overcome with boredom ever since. All of my friends are away, either still from Christmas or have already gone to Australia - where we're going for New Year thus I am being kept occupied by the members of the little black book. 


Yesterday I didn't wake up until after midday and when I did quickly got in the shower and then put on a Tracksuit and went out with Maddox (my dog.) An hour or so and 12 miles later I returned to the house and then went to the gym for a couple of hours followed by a trip to the shops - what a mistake that was. I was completely oblivious to the post Christmas sales that were in every nameable high street and department store which resulted in me sat in gridlock traffic for what seemed like ages. Once I was finally parked I went to Bond Street; dressed in a pair of black metallic Gucci jeans, a deep crew neck t-shirt (exposing the pectorals haha) a black and blue Alexander McQueen skull scarf, vintage Gucci military boots, sunglasses (of course) by YSL, a black saggy beanie and a leather jacket both by Marc Jacobs, I acquired a number of bags and spent a substantial amount of money before heading back to my car. Despite the fact I needed to go I avoided Harrods as I knew it would be simply unbearable the weekend after Christmas. 


When I returned home I had nothing to do other than the jobs which I had been putting off for months. Firstly I went to the top floor into one of the spare bedrooms  where I deposited my luggage when I returned from somewhere. The pile tends to gradually expand until a day like yesterday arrives and I decide to unpack. The first trunk was fine as it consisted of shoe boxes only, however I put it to one side so that I could phone the concierge at the hotel and have him send someone over to take a picture of each pair and place it on the box - it has to be done. Then I made my way through the other 20 or so cases, throwing the clothes either into the charity, dry clean or put away pile. Once I had produced three mere mountains which were slowly beginning to merge into one I phoned the concierge. I told him that I was unpacking and he sent someone to me straight away. When the young girl appeared at the door she looked a little shocked however my patience was wearing thin after already been unpacking for an hour and a half so I ignored her emotions and said "Have you done this for me before?" she said no and then I briefly explained how the clothes needed sorting into the bags she had brought with her, black and white ones. Emily (I think that might have been her name) was a hard worker and learnt fast haha, she managed to put everything into the correct colour bag and then listened whilst I explained the shoe sorting process. Like all the others before her she pulled out a little device from a bag and a camera and as she took a picture of the shoes the image printed and she stuck it on. Meanwhile I was running between floors and wardrobes hanging things in the correct place and putting suitcases and trunks back. Whilst hanging something up I came across a pair of Laboutin and Prada shoes which were Gabrielle's, I knew she would never wear them again as they were in the wrong place and they were out of season. I took them with me back to the top floor where Emily was taking her last photograph. I said to her "As opposed to me giving you a £10 tip which will no doubt be spent on a taxi home I shall give you these to thank you for your hard work." She looked from me to the boxes wide eyed and said "Thank you ever so much Mr. McQuillan.. Also, some of the things you are sending to charity are still worth quite a lot of money, you should consider selling them." Bless her, she was young, I said "I do not need the money dear, I need the space. Feel free to take anything from there for yourself, accessory wise of course. For example I believe there are a number of Alexander McQueen scarves in there which I have disposed of due to them having minor plucks, if you don't mind that then take them." I think she was already planning on rummaging through the bags anyway when she got to her staff room, I imagine all of the hotel staff share it out between them and send the things that nobody wants to charities. I once noticed a bell boy was wearing a pair of shoes I had thrown away, I had thrown them away because they had a scuff on them - his shoes had one extremely similar in exactly the same place... Coincidental? haha. 


That evening I sat at home severely bored and sent a message to a man called Aaron asking him to come round. He replied telling me he was out and would take a taxi back to my hotel. Time passed and the boredom got more painful and then my good friend Lee phoned to say he was just on his way back from Heathrow airport and wondered whether he could come round. I told him I would be glad of the company and then told Aaron not to bother haha. Lee is straight however every so often he will ask for oral sex from me and then complain when I make him return it, he does so rather well for a straight person and claims "it's worth being gay for the night if it means oral sex from (me)"... Flattered. 


Before going to bed I decided to myself that I would get up early and take a trip to Harrods before the sale shoppers arrived when Lee brought me back down to earth and informed me that people had been queuing outside the doors to get in for 9 o'clock. This called for desperate measures. I messaged Camilla (Al Fayed, who's father owns Harrods) asking her what she could do in order to minimise inconvenience for ones self. She replied with Haha, Kyle my love you weren't actually considering shopping amongst the thousands of angry shoppers were you? You're friends with me darling, why on earth would you even think you had to resort to such things. I will inform them of your arrival, you may go any time after six or if you'd rather you I could have someone go and open it for you now x   I told her I would must probably arrive at around 8 a.m and she told me which door to use. I love V. I.P treatment haha. 


I imagine things like that happen all the time as none of the staff so much as looked twice at me browsing the shop floor before store opening hours. I did take a little longer than anticipated and more or less as soon as 9 o'clock arrived the shop filled and it was just like a Saturday afternoon. Whilst still shopping I received a message from Camilla saying  Are you still here? I need another opinion on my New Year's outfit... I told her that I was and went to meet with her. She was in a room with a seamstress, personal shopper, harrods stylist and the legand that is Marigay McKee the lady who travels the globe, meets with designers and attends every fashion week picking stock for Harrods or, in this case, picking Camilla's new year's eve outfit. She looked absolutely gorgeous when I walked in wearing a couture gown whilst holding a glass of Champagne which I too got handed. Camilla turned to me and said "What do you think?" I told her she looked absolutely breathtaking and she said "Just what I wanted to hear - someone get me out of this thing" about 3 people saw to it that she was out of the 'thing' and into her normal clothes in the minimum amount of time. Once back in a beige Alberta Ferretti dress with a Miu Miu bag and Fendi shoes we left the private room to go to the beauty department. I got some new shower gel, shampoo, conditioner and 3 aftershaves whilst Camilla went behind the Chanel counter and had a lady apply some lip gloss. Following this she then went with me to get some underwear which I had forgotten when my mother rang. She went straight into conversation and said "With regards to your flight tomorrow darling, you're going to have to land in Paris where your sister will board and then go from here to Australia." I was under the illusion that I was taking a commercial flight and so said "I highly doubt British Airways are prepared to do such a thing just for Gabrielle's convenience mother" when she said "What on earth are you talking about, you're flying via jet" I groaned and said "Mum, you told me you would book a commercial flight" she just said "Well I forgot Kyle, my apologies however it cannot be helped. I shall see you tomorrow." I bluntly said "No." When she tutted and replied "What now?" I said "Mother I am not taking off an landing twice, that is absurd, you know I despise flying therefore I refuse. Why can't Gabrielle just fly direct from Paris?" My mother said "She won't because she gets bored and wants company" I protested "That is absolutely ludicrous, I have to go through trauma just so she isn't bored. I highly doubt I am going to be much fun on the flight, I'm petrified already! I shan't do it." Camilla was laughing at this point and my mother replied "Ugh I will just cancel your jet then" I said "Do so mother, I shall just book another" she took the thoughts directly out of my head when she said "Kyle you don't know how to." I told her to put my Dad on and she did, he came on the phone and said "What's the latest importune Kyle?" I said "If I drive to Paris today will you drive back in my car?" he said "On the condition that you bring your new one and put good dvds in the car" I then asked what was up with my mother and he said "Oh it's your sister, she's driving us insane... She put french audio description on the television this morning and we can't turn it off and she doesn't know how she did it" - sounds like something fairly normal for Gabrielle. 


Finally I was ready to pay. The shop was now filled with shoppers barging past one another and the queues were rather large. I stood in line and Camilla looked at me like I was retarded and signalled for me to follow, I did so and the male behind the counter in his twenties looked at her blankly and said "You see this line of people, it's a queue. Join it and wait." Camilla looked a little dumbfounded and said "Yes I am fully aware of what this line of people is however I do not care. Could you please have someone come and serve me on this till please if you are unable to do so yourself." He didn't even look at her and said "Sorry everyone's busy. You'll just have to join the queue like everyone else." She said "Do you not know who I am?" He looked at her and said "No, which clearly says something now if you do not join the queue I will have to ring security and have you removed from the store." Camilla butted in and he raised his voice "Join the queue or I will ring security!" A dark scornful look came into her eyes and she burned him with her gaze then said "How dare you" she leant over the counter and picked up the telephone and dialled a number, he picked up a walkie-talkie phone thing and asked for security.. I was biting my bottom lip half excited half scared. Camilla barked "It's Camilla. What sort of people are you employing here in the store. There is a male working on the till who is seriously lacking in customer service skills and evidently doesn't know how to treat important customers with respect. I thought it was your job to ensure staff worked well and satisfied customer needs, I need a till opening and it has not been done due to the fact you are employing rude and insolent staff. Clearly staff whom don't perform is a reoccurring trend, perhaps my father ought to revise things with Human Resources!" The man behind the desk looked a little confused and then security approached and he began to smile. One of the security men was with her when we were in Paris and said "Good afternoon Miss Fayed" and then turned to the man behind the desk and said "What's the problem?" He had now lost any sense of a smile from his face and he stuttered and said "Oh err.." Then Camilla placed the phone back into the cradle and said "Your manager would like to see you... Immediately." A girl walked past the till and Camilla said "Excuse me, presumably you know who I am" she said "Yes Camilla" she continued "can you serve the people on this till for me please." Camilla walked behind the till and attempted taking a tag off a pair of jeans I was buying, it failed drastically and then the girl serving someone shouted another boy and he came and did it for her, she said "There is no need to put them through the till, just take the tags off." I said "No, put them through it's fine" Camilla said "Kyle do be quiet." Then the man handed me the bag and she walked away. I felt awful, I had just had six hundred pounds worth of stuff for nothing. As we left the shop I said "Not that I'm not already deeply grateful for everything you've done today, however could you get me a room at The Ritz please haha" She picked up her phone and said "Kyle McQuillan the things I do for you.. Good Afternoon it's Camilla. I need a room for tonight please. It's for my friend Kyle McQuillan, Chanel Suite please... In that case upgrade them and put Kyle and his sister in the Chanel. Thank you, good day." I said "Camilla I hope you have not just evicted someone from their room for me. I would have managed with a standard room" she said "Kyle, it was your parents who were already in there. They're being upgraded..."


I said my good bye to Camilla when we went our separate ways, she to her chauffeur which would take her to the helipad so she could go back to Surrey and me to my car. When I arrived home Lee was lounging around my house in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and no top, I completely ignored him and went and packed some cases. I left some things out yesterday when sorting them out so I already had accessories, toiletries and shoes done - a case and a trunk. Then I needed shorts, swimming shorts, hats and general beach wear - 2 cases. T-shirts took up a trunk. Jeans and pants another trunk, knit wear and loungewear took up 2 cases and finally formal wear took up another trunk. I took all my luggage into the foyer and when it was all piled on top of one another I realised that it wasn't all going to fit in my 2 seater, practically-no-boot Lamborghini - slight problem. What to do when there's a problem and you don't know what to do? Ring Jackie, the personal assistant. Like always, she had a resolution, she was going to have them flown out to Paris within the next couple of hours and have the ritz collect them. I then said "Oh can you come and collect Maddox please.." She said "Kyle I can't tonight, I'm in Devon at a family event.. I'm having a day off you know haha." Yet another problem.  I went back upstairs and asked Lee what he was doing today - looking at him sat lounging with a tray of room service it didn't look like a lot. He said "Nothing much - seeing a few girls. Why?" I said "Could you have Maddox for me until tomorrow when my parents come home... You can stay here for the night if you do and someone from the hotel will walk him so you needn't worry about that." He reluctantly agreed and as I picked up my holdall containing my laptop, magazines, dvds, ipod etc. to leave I said "Oh and don't use my bedroom... Go on the top floor if you'd be so kind and stay out of the wardrobes." 


The journey wasn't as boring as usual as I had my new car to have fun with. I think I sped the majority of the way haha. Whilst on the eurotunnel, as usual, passers by stopped to stare at the car or to take pictures of it and then gawp into the window hoping to see someone famous as though I wasn't there - imbeciles. It's so annoying. 


When I finally arrived in Paris at around 6 o'clock someone took my car and then I went up to my room, absolutely exhausted, I did not have the energy for Gabrielle who was currently leaping around the room wearing point shoes and spinning on one leg. My parents came into the room and Gabrielle said "Kyle will you do a lift with me?" I told her no and she just carried on dancing then my father, just to be annoying, came over and began punching me saying "Liven up Kyle!" I punched him back and said "I was in Harrods for 8 o'clock and then drove here. I am exhausted!" He said "Is that all you do, shop? When are you going to start working with me and give something back to the world my son?" I said "I gave clothes to charity yesterday I'll have you know." He moaned and said "Oh my word, am I the only person in this family with any brains." I ignored him and remained sprawled on the couch with my eyes shut whilst Gabrielle protested and said "How dare you! I got 2 A*'s in my Gcse's" My Dad looked at her how everyone does when she says something stupid and said "Yes Gabrielle, performing arts and Dance - because you had devoted your life to it since you were three years old. Do tell me, what was the highest grade you got out of the rest of your subjects?" She said "C" and my father said "And the lowest..." she said "G" haha. The G was in Religious Studies, when asked what a rosary bead was used for she wrote: a fashion accessory. Often worn by people such as David Beckham. Dolce & Gabanna have recently added them to their collection of jewels. And like a true brat who had 2 nannies, when asked about the significance of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a Donkey on Palm Sunday she wrote It is significant as it shows that there is a hierarchy and those who are important or wealthy should be given right of way and people should treat them with the utmost respect. Building on that question she was asked why people lay down their cloaks for him and she wrote Fashion is a cycle and Gladiator sandals happen to be a part of that cycle. It just so happens that Jesus often wore Sandals in such a style on a daily basis as in addition to being fashionable, they were cool and comfortable. The people of Jerusalem would have seen him as an inspiration otherwise known as trend setter and wished to preserve the latest must-have. Haha. I will never forget the day she came home telling us that! 


I have just returned from a meal with my parents and Gabrielle and now I'm sat in the living room of my parents enormous suite watching television. I would go to bed however tomorrow I leave (I don't know when) for Australia, a.k.a incredibly long flight. Myself and 300 of my closest friends have hired a private island resort for a short while in order to celebrate the New Year. I don't really know who's going if I am entirely honest but I imagine there will be plenty there to keep me occupied ;) haha. The yacht is already making it's way there as is Elliot's, Lee's and Kayleigh's. I can barely contain myself I am so excited. I am going to stay up quite late this evening so that I will sleep all the way there. Ingenious. I have just sent a message to the personal trainer who I slept with during fashion week asking if he wants to come to the hotel, that should keep me up haha. 


Speak soon, 

Much love, 

Kyle. 

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