24 February 2009

Gabrielle's birthday and fashion week... 23rd February

Gabrielle's birthday celebration has been on my agenda for quite some time, thus I have been on the phone to people there and even embarking on short trips in secret myself in order to organise something. Since her birthday was the day prior to Valentines day (13th) I flew to New York on the 10th in order to spend some time with her. Upon my entrance to The Plaza lobby I went straight to the reception desk and asked whether they knew if my sister had company; thoughts of walking in on her and another man were quite simply sickening. After being told that she had returned from work alone not too long ago I presumed it was safe to go and let myself into my apartment, the one which has been commandeered by my sister. Surprisingly, I opened the door to a relatively tidy foyer. After greeting one another she said "I do apologise for the minor untidiness, I have been allocated a new house keeper and she's only just grasping where everything belongs... So what are the plans?" I sat down and said "Oh Gabrielle please. I have only just arrived, I need a little respite first..." she said "No you imbecile.. For my birthday!" I told her "On Thursday we shall leave for London and dine with Mum and Dad in the evening. They would come here however they have an important meeting in London on Friday and are required to be there unfortunately. Nevertheless, we shall return to New York on your birthday and upon our arrival shall get ready for the event which I have planned for you." She replied "Oh that sounds marvellous dear.." 

Just as planned, when Thursday arrived Gabrielle and I flew home and dined with our parents in the evening. In the morning Gabrielle came and woke me up as she had been doing every year since she was 3 and we went into my parents bedroom to wake them. When she woke them, after saying Happy Birthday my father said "Still doing the same tradition on her 21st as on her sixth, would you both like to climb into bed with us as you did when you were younger too?" I looked at my Dad with an expressionless face whilst Gabrielle gave an enthusiastic "Yes!" to his question. Of course this prompted him to make me get into bed with them also, after several "Come on Kyle"'s in a somewhat annoying baby voice, I reluctantly got into bed with them. My mother told us of a time when I sang happy birthday to Gabrielle on her birthday in French and then presented her with a birthday present haha. I have always been the loving brother haha. We got out of our parents bed and went to the drawing room to give Gabrielle her presents. From me she received two new Birkin bags which I had made to order, one is called 'Himalayan' and is brown and white whilst the other is 'Blue Brighton' both are crocodile and both feature diamond hardware. Yes, they cost a minor fortune. Following this she was given a Louis Vuitton portfolio which had a ribbon tied around it... My initial thought was 'what on earth have they got her one of these for' however Gabrielle's excitement lead me to think otherwise. When she opened the poffolio she removed some papers which displayed images of her new Malibu home. It was divine! The final piece of paper gave a telephone number and a quotation from a magazine which stated "California's best and most exclusive interior designer." 

After having a special breakfast made for us by Jake my mother and father came downstairs dressed for work. My father in a Tom Ford suit and my mother in a high waisted Roland Mouret skirt with a fitted blouse, a pair of Bottega Vanetta shoes and a tan Birkin handbag. Upon seeing her shoes Gabrielle said "Mother what are those shoes?" My mother looked at her feet and said "Bottega Vanetta... Are they hideous?" Gabrielle replied "They're a nice pair of shoes only the heel is about 3 inches too small.." My mother went immediately back upstairs and came down wearing a pair of Marni shoes with a different coloured Birkin to match. Gabrielle then said "This is obviously an extremely important meeting seeing as you're leaving me on my birthday, therefore I think it's wise you both match, meaning, father, you ought to go and change your belt and shoes..." He looked at her about to say "Do be serious" or something to similar effect but my mother had already examined him and said "Actually, yes. I agree with Gabrielle.. Go and change them." They apologised sincerly for their departure (several times) and then left. 

Dressed in a pair of Dior jeans and an Alexander McQueen smoke jumper along with my Dior watch and a pair of vintage boots, Myself and Gabrielle, who was wearing a modified Alexander McQueen hot pink twisted tank, with a pair of Thomas Wylde leggins which had chains on the outside leg, a pair of Balmain/Giuseppe Zaniotti gladiator heels and a patent leather Marc Jacobs bag to which she had tied a black and pink Alexander McQueen scarf,  had Jackie take us to the airport. Once checked in I treated Gabrielle to a glass of champagne... A glass lead to two and two lead to three. Before I knew it she was drunk and I was heading in much the similar direction. As we were paying no attention what so ever the lady in the first class lounge informed Gabrielle and myself that the flight had boarded and that they were calling our names. With that in mind Gabrielle and myself attempted running to the gate which didn't quite go as planned due to the fact that Gabrielle was experiencing excruciating pain from her new shoes haha. 

When we finally reached the gate we showed our boarding passes and went straight on board. Once inside the hostess' closed the doors almost immediately and told us to go down the right aisle to our seats. We walked more or less the length of the plane (in sunglasses) and received glares and looks up and down from almost everyone haha. When we got to our row, there seemed to have been a mistake. It was a row of four and in economy. Gabrielle looked at the row number and her boarding pass and said "Perhaps there's another row forty, let's carry on..." I said "Gabrielle, I think this is it." She looked at me and said "Kyle do be serious." Everyone was looking at us haha. An air hostess approached and said "Excuse me, could you sit down please, the plane is taxiing now." Gabrielle replied "Well if you'd be so kind as to show me to my seat then I will gladly do so." The lady looked at our boarding passes and said "These are your seats" Gabrielle said "Well clearly there has been a mistake, I am flying in first class" the hostess replied "Unfortunately this flight does not offer first class, please be seated." Gabrielle was not happy and said "Well can we just go back and I shall go via other means, I cannot possibly sit in that pathetic excuse for a seat for the next goodness knows how many hours" the hostess replied "The plane has now unfortunately left the terminal so we cannot go back. Please sit down." Gabrielle looked at me and said "Kyle, I am contemplating killing you at this moment in time." I said "Gabrielle I was completely unaware of this! I didn't book the flight." The hostess said "Ma'am!" Gabrielle just said "Okay okay! Kyle McQuillan I hate you." she sat in her seat and said "Oh this is absolutely absurd! I feel like I'm sitting on a concrete bollard in the middle of Trafalgar Square. How many people do they wish to cram into such a small space. Ugh! Kyle!" The pilot began speaking on the intercom and Gabrielle said "I cannot understand what he's saying.." I said "That, Gabrielle would be because it's in German" she said "Why on earth are they speaking in German?" I said "I don't know.. Maybe there's a lot of german people on the flight..." The captain began speaking in English and said something like 'welcome aboard this flight from London to Amsterdam, the flight time should be around 1 hour.." Gabrielle and I looked at one another and then she repatively pressed the call button on and off so it pinged and shouted "Miss! Miss! Help! Miss!" She then got out of her seat and ran to the galley and said "Help! I'm on the wrong plane!" Seconds later she came back out with the stewardess more or less pushing her back to her seat whilst Gabrielle said "You don't understand, I'm going to New York, not Amsterdam!" Gabrielle sat back down and the hostess said "This is a connecting flight for many, I imagine you will catch one from Amsterdam to New York upon your arrival." I then joined the conversation and said "Ohhh... I did wonder why we got two sets of boarding passes. I presumed it was just incase we lost them. I never look at them so I didn't realise." She slapped me on the leg and said "You idiot! What now? Land in Amsterdam where I can get harrassed by some imbecile high on space cake on his way to the red light district?!" I didn't reply and she said "How far are we from the runway?" .. As if I was supposed to know. She fished in her bag and got out her Blackerry and phoned Jackie. I heard her pick up the phone and Gabrielle blurted extremely quickly "GetMeAJetFromAmsterdamAirportInAnHourBye!" and then turned the Blackberry off and put it in her bag., she then sat up in her seat and turned around in her seat and said "I do apologise for being late chaps.. I'm on the wrong wretched flight as it is, well, I'm actually on the righ-" the stewardess said "Ma'am we are about to take off, please sit down and face forward!" Gabrielle said "Jeez, does she not have anything better to do than pester me!" 

Once airborne Gabrielle was bored and started fidgeting. I ignored her and then after messing around in her bag she said "Kyle, I'm bored!" I asked "What would you like me to do about it?" She replied "I don't know... Scratch my back" I looked at her as though she was ridiculous and she said "It's my birthday!" As requested I scratched her back and she grabbed my bag from between my legs and started messing in there. As she found different things she would say them aloud "Sunglasses, sunglasses, wallet, ring, ring, ring, bracelet, dollars, euros, oh Kyle look what I've just found" she pulled out a Rado watch and then threw it back in "contraception, contraception, contraception, contraception, much much more contraception" I said "Gabrielle is that completely necessary?" she replied "No.. Sorry dear. What's this?" She pulled out a Hermes notebook which I took from her and said "The list for your party, I have been lugging it around for weeks!" I put it back in the back and she said "Oh marvellous! T'is rather exciting. Let's have another drink to celebrate my birthday!" She pressed the call button again and said "Miss, can my brother and I have a glass of champagne" the hostess said "The crew will be serving drinks shortly so you may have a glass of wine then" Gabrielle handed her ten pounds and said "I don't want it shortly, I want it now please." She brought a wine glass and poured the wine in "Gabrielle said, you could have allowed me to try it before pouring it all in..." She tasted it and said "Ugh. That tastes like urine, Kyle don't drink it." She took the wine from me and handed it to the couple next to us and said "Would you like these?" Gabrielle turned back to the hostess and said "What else do you have?" She finally opted for Malibu which we drank and she said "Do you remember when we were about fifteen and you went into that shop in London and gave the shop keeper fifty pounds so that we could have a bottle of this and get drunk at that sleepover we went to?" I said "Yes and Gabrielle I also recall you merely sniffing it and becoming intoxicated." She said "I did not just sniff it, I think I had half a glass and was completely unable to stand up... Was that the night when I fell and couldn't do pointe in school for weeks?" I replied "No Gabrielle, that was the time I told you the chilli's were fruit and you ate them and resulted in drinking mum's wine in order to cool your mouth down." 

Once we had landed in New York Gabrielle and I took the chauffeur to The Plaza and we began preparation. I was recieving messages by the minute (quite literally) from mostly unknown numbers looking for an invite to the party. Most were rejected with the exception of a couple who sent me images of themselves, those who were good looking were wrote into the Hermes agenda beneath the already 300+ guests. By the time 4 o'clock had arrived Gabrielle was beginning to stress. Jackie was on loudspeaker in every room in the apartment running through things with me as I ran from room to room whilst she was also on the phone to Cavalli, hairdressers, makeup and the venue. Finally someone was escorted to the hotel room by the concierge bearing a Cavalli dress bag and a Louis Vuitton case with a tape measure around their neck - Cavalli's people. More or less as soon as I closed the door there was another knock and the hair and makeup girls had arrived. Gabrielle claimed she didn't want me to see her dress as she wished for it to be a surprise for everyone as the only person who currently knew what it was like was my mother - the person who, I imagine, spent tens of thousands on the garment. With Gabrielle's wishes in mind I packed a Louis Vuitton case and left the apartment which I previously believed was mine. 

On my way to the foyer I rang Elliot asking where he was accomodating, to my luck he replied telling me he was in the suite at The Pierre thus I only had to go across the road. Once at his room he opened and said "Kyle I realise it's a complete imposition, however is there any chance we can have intercourse before the party, I quite literally beg of you!" I began to object however, the unresistable little swine that he is, once he began kissing my neck I could not refuse haha. I ensured the pleasurable experience didn't last for hours which is the norm and then began getting ready. I had already purchased my new Gucci suit and had it tailored to ensure a perfect fit. Once I was changed and my hair was done I looked at my Blackberry again (bearing in mind it had been a mere 10 minutes since I put it down) 32 messages and 13 missed calls. I scanned through who had messaged and as most were unknown numbers I deleted them and read the ones whom I knew the sender... I was now stressing. It was now half past seven and people would begin arriving at the Rockerfeller Centre any time from eight onwards ready for Gabrielle's arrival at 9.15 ish. I was busying around the suite on the phone to multiple people at once whilst trying to organize myself. I shouted bye to Elliot and left to return to The Plaza. I went straight to the concierge and said "I need a p.a... Immediately" I glanced around the lobby and noticed a pretty receptionist whom is always pleasant and said "Would it be possible for me to have her for the evening?" The concierge agreed (afterall I am a very important guest within the establishment.) I approached her and said "Darling, I realise this is a little out of the blue, however I require your assistance therefore you shall come with me to a party this evening. I shan't lie to you and tell you that it will be a chance to relax however I can assure you it will be more interesting than this what you endure on a daily basis" she was a little shocked and didn't really reply, nor did I give her an oppourtunity "now you simply cannot wear what you have on as you'll look like my secretary or something. Where do you live?" Where ever it was it wasn't near and then I noticed her hair and said "Oh Christ!" at which point I leant over her desk and dialled my apartment. I had strategically stressed the fact that the hair and makeup people would be required to stay up until the point of Gabrielle's departure just incase something went drastically wrong. I could not cope with one of her tantroms at a time like this. Someone answered the phone in the apartment (I have no idea who) and I barked "It's Kyle. Send the hair and makeup people down to the girl in reception immediately!" I said to the girl "Wait here. What size dress and shoe are you?" When I had her reply I jogged to Bergdorf Goodman's ladies store and showed my black American Express in order to acquire the amount of assistance and people making my wish their command as I required. I picked out a navy blue and black off the shoulder Prada dress along with a pair of new in Manolo Blahnik's, meanwhile I had staff picking out accessories and other necessities. They returned with a Christian Laboutin feathered clutch, a Kenneth Lane cuff and ring plus a pair of Jimmy Choo sunglasses I said would most probably be necessary. The ten minute dash cost just shy of $4,000 and the staff also gave me a Blackberry which they said may be useful. Wise! 

Once back in the hotel I took the Bergdorf bags to the girl (who's name I did not know) and attempted set up the Blackberry whilst she changed. Lucie's (I discovered her name when I deligated the Blackberry task to the concierge) transformation was overwhelming! Within a matter of minutes she had gone from morbid receptionist to sexy socialite haha. I gave her the phone and the laptop I had been carrying around with me and got in a car. I took the oppourtunity to phone (Dj) Coleman and ask of his whereabouts, he told me he was just leaving Kayleigh's hotel room - typical, seeing as it was vital that he was there upon the arrival of guests I told him I would go and collect him. When he got into the car he was rather underdressed, seeing as he was the Dj I made an exception and he immediately attempted flirting with Lucie "Well hello there. Kyle aren't you going to introduce me to your gorgeous friend?" I ignored him and resuming replying to the countless messages which I was receiving. Once outside the Rockefeller centre, as deisred, the front of the venue looked bland,  had hired PR people in a hope of preventing press coming, thus I didn't want to advertise the fact there was a flamboyant party taking place. The girl at the door stood with a computer on a stand which displayed the frequently updated guestlist had a doorman also by her side and handed me an earpiece and a box thing so that she could get in touch with me easier. A little annoying and not what I wanted on my outfit however I hid it and also gave one to Lucie. Before walking in I noticed the girls shoes which were truly horrendous, I commented on them and said "Dear, those shoes simply are not adequate" she replied "In what way? I figured I'd be on my feet all night so I ought to be comfortable" I replied "You got half of that right. You shall be on your feet all night, however your appearance is more important to me than your comfort. I suggest you do something about it. Four inches no less." As Lucie and I passed the lift man she said "Ouch" when I realised: I sounded just like my mother. Haha. 

When the lift doors opened on the terrace level the room looked amazing! Waiters (wearing all black with an open shirt and metallic grey cravate) and waitress' (wearing black fitted dresses, heels and black and grey Alexander McQueen scarves) carried flutes of champagne on silver platters and the extremely good looking bar tenders made cocktails. A large blank picture frame hung on the wall which would contain a picture of Gabrielle which would immediately be displayed upon taken at her arrival. Outside the vast amount of money I had spent on furnishings paid off. The soft seating and low tables looked rather amazing if I may say so and the heaters I had spent money on would certainly prevent any moans of being cold. The art deco theme looked amazing with the crisp white and splashes of grey and black.. I had done a rather good job haha. I had Lucie ensure that all of the waiters and waitress' had their cravates and scarves tied in the same way as I wanted them and that all the waiters had their shoe laces tied and the same amount of buttons undone haha. It was also her duty to ensure Gabrielle was given the Rolls Royce by the hotel and that her arrival went smoothly. I did tell her that she could invite a friend as after Gabrielle's arrival she wouldn't have as much to do. I have no idea whether she did or not. 

Gabrielle looked breathtaking when the lift doors opened to reveal her. She was wearing a modified Roberto Cavalli gown. The dress was a grey colour and the top was corset and progressed into grey/black frills at the bottom, which, on the original touched the floor all the way around (like a wedding dress style) however on Gabrielle's dress the frills finished much higher at the front and it seemed the excess had been used to create a kind of train behind. It was gorgeous! (For those of you who wish to see it [as requested, here is the link]: http://www.style.com/fashionshows/review/S2009RTW-RBTOCVLL it is number 44 on the slideshow.) Everyone fussed her and she came straight over to me to thank me for putting it all together for her. From the guests it seemed, on the most part, to be a task of who's who. There was Whitney (former star of the hills, now featured on The City) along with friend Olivia Palermo who Gabrielle and I know, plus a few more of Manhattan's version of my friends and I, including Bee Shaffer (daughter of Anna Wintour) who arrived after Gabrielle's arrival, The Branson children, then of course there were all of our friends from London including Camilla Al Fayed (who brought her own body guard as usual) and Anna Anisimova had also promised to stop by. Then there were the models, Agyness Deyn, Coco Rocha, Lily Donaldson, Jessica Stam, Catherine McNeil, Garrett Neff, Blaine Cooke, Mathias Laur(...) plus the majority of the Victoria's secret 'angels'. I think plus 500 came in the end. At half past eleven I felt a grope on my behind and turned to see my mother and father stood there looking rather spectacular! I hugged them both and shouted Gabrielle over who said "What on earth are you doing here?" my mother replied "We felt awful about leaving you on your birthday so we chartered a jet... You look gorgeous darling!" Within twenty my mother's friends had arrived wearing their fur and botoxed beyond belief, some housewives (a couple were on a tv channel over here) and other's from Conde Nast and places. My father meanwhile was with his Wall Street friends and a few others.

At around One O'clock Gabrielle made a speech and thanked everyone for coming and then said "however most of all I would like to thank my dearest brother Kyle, who, approximately 8 hours ago I had a great desire to murder after making me fly in economy on my birthday." there was a mixture of gasps and laughs from around the room "Nevertheless, without him none of this would have happened, what's more, for those of you who wished to acquire the details of my party planner it was all Kyle's doing" someone shouted over the crowd "We've all got his details" and Lee shouted back "Every good looking person with a pulse will have acquired Kyle's number somehow..." Everyone laughed as did I however I daren't look at my mother haha. I have no idea what time it was when I decided to leave as I was somewhat intoxicated, however when it came to choosing someone to leave with I was spoilt for choice haha. When just about to step into the lift with who ever it was I had chosen to leave with I felt someone grab my arm so I turned only to be stood facing my father. I had no idea how to react and he didn't appear drunk haha. He steadied me and then said "Who's this you're leaving with Kyle?" I recalling looking at him and saying "Fredrick.." he just said "Christ, how much have you drank? Where is your sister?" I realised she must have left with someone too so said "Oh she was rather drunk so she left with Ellie to go and stay in her suite at The Ritz.." I figured one of us may as well get away with it and he would go balistic about my Gabrielle haha. He replied "Right, well your mother and I are going out with friends now, I shall see you at some point tomorrow. Now I do suggest you get out of here before your mother witness' you leaving with this stranger" I was shocked I got away with it haha, I remember kissing him on the cheek and saying "I do love you father" but he just laughed and said "I love you too now sod off you little drunk." 

Post intercourse my phone was still going off and whilst in the middle of texting someone my father phoned. I answered and he said "Kyle! Are you done?" I told him I was and he said "Come out with me and the chaps!" I don't know why but I agreed and so went and put a completely different oufit on and then went back into the bedroom and woke the person who I had just slept with up and said "Excuse me but you're going to have to leave.." he said "Oh" and left haha. I then went to The Pierre and knocked on Elliot's door and made him come out with me despite the fact that he was half asleep. I could not tell you where we went as I am completely unaware however it seemed that my father had followed the rest of the people from the party to another club and once inside he was stood at the bar having shots haha. Elliot dissappeared into the crowd and I went to speak to my father. I realised when speaking to him that he was significantly more drunk than when I spoke to him on the phone at which point my mother rang him. He answered the phone and said "Camilla darling! How the devil are you this evening my dearest?" My immediate thoughts were oh Christ, he's in trouble and then he said "I have no idea where I am my love, however I am with Kyle so I imagine I will find my way out of this establishment somehow, not to worry" he then passed the phone to me and slurred "Your mother would like to talk to you Kyle" I said hello and she said "You as well!" presumably she meant I too was somewhat intoxicated, she then said "Where on earth is your sister? I saw her leaving earlier with a male who she claimed was one of your homosexual friends and that he was going to drop her off at The Plaza. Could you get hold of the man in question just to clarify she is in fact at The Plaza." Gabrielle did not leave with a homosexual; she left with a perfectly straight male whom she had intentions of sleeping with, nor was she on her way back to The Plaza, nevertheless I said "Oh she's fine mother, I went back to my apartment earlier in order to change and she was fast asleep. Not to worry. See you tomorrow." Lies haha. When I passed the phone back to my father he said "What did she want?" I told him she wanted to know of Gabrielle's whereabouts and he said "And she's at The Plaza" I told him yes and then he said "Oh... Why is it that you told me she was staying with Ellie in her suite at The Ritz?" My face dropped and I just stared at him when all of a sudden he seemed sober and said "Kyle.. Where is Gabrielle?" I lied, again and said "She left with Adam" he fired back "Who is Adam... Is he a respectable gentleman or someone who would be inclined to take advantage?" I replied "He's nice, I've slept with him too!" Crap. I have no idea why I said it. My father looked sickened and I said "Father I do apologise that was a lie..." he came closer to me and squoze my arm then said "Kyle, where is Gabrielle?" I turned my head in fear and said "...I don't knoww" he stepped back and just stared at me, I looked at Elliot and mouthed "Help!" When he came over I said "Elliot are you aware of who Gabrielle is with?" however it came out in French and I do not know why, I think it may have been due the fact I wanted to inform Elliot in secret to lie haha, they both just stared at me and Elliot said "Come again?" I repeated my self in English and Elliot said "Yes I believe she left the party with Jason" I butted in and said "See Dad she's fine" Elliot escaped obviously not enjoying the situation and then my father said "Kyle, you ought to take me to this Jason's residence so that we can collect her" I said "Father do not be so absurd! You sound like mother, it is her twenty-first for crying out loud. The girl barely has a sex life and now you wish to hinder it on her birthday. Do be serious.. I slept with four people on my twenty first birthday father-" he laughed and then said "Positively spiffing Kyle!" I stared at him a little confused and said "You father, are peculiar. Stop worrying about Gabrielle she is fine and in the meantime I suggest you let your hair down and have fun!" I ruffled up his hair then kissed him on the forehead and then he said "Oh sod off child" as I walked away, I had only taken a few steps before running back and saying ".. and don't tell mother." He just laughed and said "Kyle, you're cramping my style, I don't want all these ladies who are gawping at me thinking I'm a Dad, I've got to at least give them something, that something being the belief I am available and not to mention in their league" I turned to see a group of stunning models staring at my father and his friends haha. It seems my egotistical personality is hereditary haha. 

I joined Elliot on the dance floor when he said "Sorry I left you. Your father scares me somewhat when he's like that. I always fear he will punch me and there is no doubt in my mind that he would be able to beat me up and I would be almost defenceless in comparison..." I laughed and said "Oh please Elliot! He would never punch you and besides, I personally believe I am capable of beating up my father." Elliot then laughed at me and said "Perhaps in that bubble of yours yes." Shortly, Elliot and myself were joined by other males, all of whom were exceptionally good looking and well groomed. Twenty minutes later I was leaving the club with a Wall Street man to take a car back to his apartment. In the morning I felt like death when I woke up and had the repulsive morning-after-sex-and-alcohol taste in my mouth. After showering and brushing my teeth I went back into his bedroom to look for some clean underwear. When searching through his draws he awoke and said "Well that's a sight I wouldn't mind waking up to every morning. Come back to bed..." I found the underwear, shut the draw and gave a blunt "No." I then proceeded to get dressed and he said "Are you leaving so early?" I showed him that I was fully clothed and said "Evidently" he said "Oh, we'll do this again some time" to which I replied "No. We shan't" I put my shoes on, grabbed my Blackberry which I found had a shattered screen (I did not recall doing that) and he said "Well can I have your number?" As I walked to the hallway I said "No. Good day." The bad mood was down to my complete lack of sleep haha. Once back at my apartment I opened the door to find Gabrielle's dress on the couch and went into her room where she was asleep on the bed wearing a mans shirt with a Hermes belt around the waist along with a pair of boxer shorts and heels... Her morning after attire. I figured, rather than face the fowl mood she would be in just like my self, it was best to leave her and go to bed. 

A couple of hours later I was woken by Gabrielle laughing on the phone. Once I had woken up I heard her shout "Kylie... Kylieee... Kyllieeee..." and the next thing she was stood in my doorway, now in her dressing gown. We discussed the previous night a little and then I asked "What are we doing today?" she looked at me and smiled then said "Why Kyle.. It's fashion week!" She then leaped across the room and performed a piroette out of excitement and then jumped onto my bed shouting "Come on Kylie... Places to go, people to meet, people to discuss... Lunch in an hour and a half dear." Once dressed Gabrielle and I took a car to go and meet our friends for lunch. Judging from their faces (all hung-over) I could tell that everyone had enjoyed the previous night. We discussed the events and found that Lee had enjoyed a threesome with two models, Kelly had been up quite literally all night with a man who "was not sexy in an obvious way, yet had that power thing about him, like Gabrielle and Kyle's Dad which just made him attractive." She then went on to say "Their Dad on the other hand also has overwhelmingly impressive looks!" Kayleigh had slept with a model and last of all Ellie chirped up and said "I have a boyfriend now" I looked at her and said "Why?" whilst simultaneously Kelly said "Err.." Lee said "So when shall we be meeting this fellow?" Ellie seemed pleased and said "Well I suppose you could meet him tonight if you wish, what are we doing?" I looked at Kelly and smiled... Intimidation haha. Whilst ordering dinner Gabrielle asked for a vegetarian meal which was on the menu and then added "what meat is in this dish?" She most certainly is not getting wiser with age haha. 

That evening when we finally met Luke in Ellie's suite I couldn't help my self but be mean. I asked "So are you going to remain faithful to Ellie?" he said "Well yeah, obviously" I shot back "Why would that be an obvious answer? 

Do you think promiscuity is something which ought to be frowned upon?" he looked a little awkward and said "N-no but," I butted in and said "But what Luke? You clearly don't agree with it otherwise you too would have an active sex life, so tell me, what is it which you find so despicable about it?" Gabrielle slapped me on the leg and said "Kyle! Luke you do not have to answer that" I butted in and said "Yes he does. Not replying to a question is rude, being the good friends that we are why would any of us wish for Ellie to be in a relationship with someone rude?" He excused himself and went to the toilet and once out of the room a smile replaced the serious look on my face and whilst everyone else told me I was horrible Kelly started laughing. Elliot said "Kyle that is awful, what would you do if you were in his position?" I said "Defend my self I imagine as opposed to sitting there stuttering" he replied "Mr McQuillan what would your mother say?" I said "Oh do be quiet" at which point I gasped as I remembered the situation with my father and Gabrielle's whereabouts the previous night. I told her and she said "Ohh Gordon Benett. I do hope he doesn't tell mother. I'm the angel child, it doesn't bode well for me if they know I sleep with strangers on the odd occasion... You're the only bad one and I prefer it that way, I get away with more then!" Ellie re-entered the room glaring at me with Luke at which point I said "I do apologise however I am little bored, well, not bored. There are other things more appealing on my mind... Let me see" I took my Blackberry out of my pocket and scrolled through my phone book, however it was not so simple as the screen was shattered into five thousand pieces and I had not yet had chance to purchase a replacement. I asked Elliot "Who can I sleep with this evening?" He said "Why myself of course" I said "I'd rather sleep with a stranger, it's more fun..." He said "Ugh, well I'd rather sleep with you" I smiled and said "Well who wouldn't?" When he said "I shall permit you to call the shots and what's more... We can go all night" he walked over to me as he said it and came between my open knees and begin kissing me, I lay back on the couch whilst he kissed me and then kissed my neck. Well this was an offer I simply could not refuse. Ellie interrupted the pleasurable experience by saying "I would prefer it if you didn't have sex in my suite right before my eyes" I replied "Why Ellie, I imagine it would be somewhat beneficial to you, witnessing a good sex life. That is, now that yours only consists of one person." Kelly then said "I can't watch them any longer... Hello, yes I'm well thank you. Would you care to join me this evening? .. Why of course" she put on a fake laugh and then said "Well I shall see you in a short while." She put down the phone and the smile immediately dropped from her face and she said "Sorted. Spiffing." I don't know what was wrong with me that particular evening however I felt somewhat mischievous and turned my attention to Lee. I straddled him and said "Would you like to join us too?" He replied "No, now please get off" he attempted pushing me however I merely pushed him back and lifted his arms above his head whilst I kissed him. He attempted to protest and tried to get his arms back down however, one's strength is far superior to his thus he stood no chance. I continued kissing him and even kissed his neck and then whispered in his ear "Well your penis seems to differ Lee" I then proceeded to kiss him on the mouth, it was one of the worst kisses I think I have ever experienced as he had no desire for my tongue to go into his mouth and thus his didn't enter mine, however, he didn't like it which made me enjoy it so I carried on regardless haha. I finally stopped kissing him and made him place his hands on my behind when he said "This is rape Kyle.. I would headbut you however I fear it would come back tenfold therefore I shall refrain from doing so." I said "Kiss me properly and I shall get off you" he did so and it was rather pleasurable I must say. When we finally stopped Elliot said "Ready?" I told him I was and went to get my coat. Whilst passing back through the lounge to leave the suite I said good bye to everyone and then kissed Lee's neck from behind and whispered "Feel free to pay a visit later" I asked Gabrielle where she was staying and she said The Plaza therefore Elliot and I went to his hotel room. 

In the morning I opened the door wearing nothing but a towel to the unobtainable gorgeous man that is Elliot's brother, he laughed and said "Have you two been at it again?" I replied "Why of course! I often wonder whether his sheer talent in the love making runs in the family" he caught onto my obvious attempt of flirting and said "Oh sod off... I've told you before, I'm too good for you. Anyway, would you like to go out tonight?" I said I would and he said "Excellent. We have been saying this for quite some time so we ought to do it. You may bring that annoying little brother of mine along with you too if you wish" I looked him up and down, bit my lip and said "I'd much rather it just be the two of us" haha. 

The rest of the week has consisted of fashion shows, fashion week parties and sex with random people. I actually knew the majority though as, seeing as it is fashion week a fair amount of my peers are in the city. On Sunday a rather peculiar thing happened to me. I was in my apartment alone, Gabrielle was still at where ever she had gone to the previous night and someone knocked on the door. I opened it presuming it would be one of my friends when a gorgeous muscled man stormed towards me and started immediately kissing me. I didn't know what was happening at first and he pushed me against the wall and kissed my neck when I asked "Who the devil are you?" however he began to take off my pants whilst still kissing me and pushing me against the wall so I deemed this as being unnecessary and, well, I imagine you can guess what happened... 

I believe I may be venturing to California soon. Gabrielle is in the process of talking to her boss and may get transferred to the Los Angeles office for a while. As you can imagine, she has threatened to quit about a hundred times already haha. 

Speak soon, 

Much love. 

5 February 2009

The past couple of weeks... 4th February

My time back in London has been absolutely marvellous. Last Monday Gabrielle decided to go to a party with a few of her friends from university which was being held in one of their houses. When I say house, I do not mean the kind of establishment where my parents or I reside. I am reffering to a hideous four bedroomed townhouse where the rent is split between five, one of whom sleeps in the drawing room... Not the kind of establishment Gabrielle fits in. 

Dressed in a seven hundred pound Balenciaga blouse with a grey Valentino pencil skirt and a pair of Alexander McQueen booties with a red underside and neon pink elasticated strap, she had me take her to the party in my Lambourghini. Even from outside I could tell it wasn't going to be the classiest of parties. Whilst in the car home I text Kelly asking what she was doing that evening when she replied Nothing as of yet, would you care to go out? x I told her I would and went and collected her and took her back to my house. When I walked through the door I heard Elliot shout "Hello" and came walking out of the kitchen with a tub of ice cream. Upon seeing Kelly he said "Ugh, I thought we could do something" to which Kelly said "Elliot darling we are going out. Therefore it is rather beneficial that I happened to turn up out of the blue, this way you can have sex with a complete stranger which makes it all the more fun!" Elliot raided my wardrobe and Kelly put on the outfit which she had brought with her. A few hours later, we were finally ready. I had the concierge of the hotel take us into London in my parent's Rolls Royce (no I didn't ask permission, therefore putting my life on the line with my father haha, that said, I doubt he would mind quite as much when it isn't me driving) and whilst on the way Elliot asked where Gabrielle was, I replied "At a party with fellow students" Elliot replied "Oh crikey, is she aware that we are going out this evening. I can't help but think she would much rather come with us..." I told him she did not in fact know we were going out and Kelly said "Let's go and get her. I have always been intruiged about these student gatherings anyhow." We took a detour and showed up at the house where I had dropped Gabrielle off a number of hours ago. We knocked on the door and the person who answered look at us and then another person walked past and said "They'll be for Gabrielle..." the boy holding the door said "Gabrielle who?" to which the other boy slapped him accross the head and said "McQuillan, who else is it going to be you spaz!" 

Once inside it was horrific. I felt as though I ought to have wiped my feet upon entry. I had my hands held by my side and Kelly had her nose and top lip turned up. As we passed the people who seemed to be everywhere they all looked us up and down and the girls nudged each other at the sight of Elliot and myself whilst the boys did likewise at the sight of Kelly, she just looked them up and down and said "Do be serious!" We found Gabrielle rather quickly amongst the dense crowd, she was stood with her elbows drawn in (so she didn't touch anything) talking with a couple of friends. We approached and she looked rather shocked and said "Are you going out?" we told her we were and she said "Marvellous, I shall join you" one boy laughed and said "Look at them all stood tense, fucking sno-" he was about to say snobs but Elliot shot him a glare intended to shut him up, if that didn't do the trick Kelly said "It is to ensure I do not touch anything. This place is an inqubus of plague. How one survives in such squalor is beyond me." The boy replied "Well, we can't all afford maids love, sorry to bring you down from your cloud" Kelly said "Oh I am sorry. On my cloud it was the belief that a maid was a human being, just like the rest of us here. Someone who is capable of cleaning. You make it sound as though those who aren't housekeeping staff are completely unable to keep a house tidy." The boy began to reply and she said "Why are you even talking to me?" She asked Gabrielle where the nearest mirror was and a couple of seconds later we heard her scream. I went into the hallway and saw her stood in the doorway of the bathroom. There was a boy stood over her shoulder looking in at what she was screaming at, he said "What's wrong?" She looked at him and said "What's wrong? Look at it. Is this a breeding ground for bacteria?!" He clearly didn't understand what she was saying and said "No, it's a toilet" She looked at him and said "I believe that term is a little too generous, the average toilet is probably cleaner than this powder room. How repulsive! The cupboards in my kitchen are larger than this!" He laughed and said "Fucking hell haha. How big's your bathroom then?" She got some toilet roll and wrapped it around her hands and then said, "Larger than the whole ground floor of this house." When she got back to Gabrielle and Elliot along with me she said "Let's leave. Immediately, before I catch something. Gabrielle how have you stayed here for such an amount of time?" She replied "Kelly darling, I have remained firmly in this one spot and what's more" she took the Jimmy Choo python bag off her shoulder and opened it to reveal a packet of Swarovski crystal wine glasses and said "I brought my own glasses and alcohol. Needless to say I am bursting for the toilet but refuse to go so the sooner we can leave the sooner I can relieve myself in somewhere where the ratio of urine to toilet seat is not 1:15." She's blonde, she ought to get credit for trying even if she did get the equation wrong. A couple of men opened the door for us, clearly attempting to mimick us, as in their eyes it was as though we were royal family, and watched as we walked down the steps. When they saw the Rolls Royce Phantom parked outside they shouted "Oh my fucking god! Look at that beast. Guys!" All four of us said "Jesus Christ" or something of similar effect and continued walking. Gabrielle opened the boot and threw her alcohol and glasses in there and then rummaged around. My parents had only been gone a matter of days yet we had both been using the car and managed to litter the boot with our things. Gabrielle put her hand into her bag and scooped at a handful of money, makeup, sunglasses and placed them in a clutch she had just found, she got the remaining essential items and then closed the boot and walked to get into the car. Upon seeing the men taking pictures of it and standing next to it as though they owned it she said "Gentlemen please. You are completely lowering the class of this automobile and, being such an expensive piece of equipment that is quite a task so well done! Now if you'd be so kind as to move aside." 

Once in a place where we felt we belonged: Fifty, we could relax. Whilst in there we saw a few other people who we knew, one of whom was Marisa Miller (sister of Sienna) who was with a few models, all of whom I hadn't seen for quite some time. Marisa said to me "Oh hello stranger, I text you the other day asking whether you wanted to come to Cuckoo but you didn't reply, bitch" I said "Ohh, was that you? I didn't know who it was and I just presumed it was from someone who I had slept with and seeing as I didn't have their number I presumed they weren't anything special... Oh I suppose that description fits you rather well dear" she laughed and said "Darling, that description fits every remotely good looking person in London..." I laughed and kissed her on the cheek and said "How the devil are you?" We joined them and about half way through the conversation Julia, a model who has graced the covers of GQ amongst various other magazines, said "Where is  your delightful friend Lee this evening?" Each and every one of them stopped talking and awaited a reply and Elliot eventually said "I believe he is out, I am not aware as to where though, why do you ask?" The girl replied "Well, to put it bluntly... He was absolutely bloody amazing in bed and he is absolutely bloody gorgeous too, rather self explanatory why I would like him here really.." Thinking about it, it is rather comical to think that everyone sat around that table had had some sort of sexual relation with Lee haha. I sent him a message to see where he was and he replied saying "In Vanilla, are you missing me sexual?" ... Evidently drunk. I told him who we were with and he said "I have absolutely no idea who you're talking about. Send me a picture." I replied saying "Don't be so absurd Lee, I cannot do that." He replied saying "You're such a loser Kyle. Meet in 24?" I asked the others who immediately agreed and whilst we made our way across London I got another message from Lee saying "Oh, I'm with a man who knows you; presumably through sex, I didn't ask, I wasn't listening when he told me his name either." I replied saying "... Helpful" and he said "He's a rather strapping young fellow! See you in a moment" 

Once at 24 we went straight to the front of the queue as always and once inside we went straight to the bar. The atmosphere was amazing as always and the club seemed to be filled with people who I knew. I spent the first twenty minutes of being in the club with a couple of members of the royal family, followed by a group of men who I knew and then as I walked away I felt someone grope by bum, I turned around and the person began to kiss my neck and then said "I never did get that phone call you promised.." I laughed and as he brought his head up so I could see who it was I had no recollection as to who. I quickly examined him. Oh my. He was divine. I said "Well, if I had remembered the masterpiece which is your torso I would have phoned much sooner" he laughed and said "Ahh, who says I want you now Kyle?" I laughed and began to walk away and said "You remembered my name and what's more, everyone wants me.." When I found Lee I discovered that the person I had just been involved in a short intimate session with was not the person who Lee was with initially, this was another gorgeous man. Another gorgeous man who I could not remember. Lee introduced him as Steve and so I pretended I could remember him, he was a former cricketer turned model and had been on the cover of mens health - I have had relations with these people before (believe it or not.) They are amazing! 

At around half past midnight I went in search of Gabrielle; when I finally found her she was stood with Julia and two other models comparing breasts. I looked around and saw that an awful lot of men were staring as Gabrielle pushed hers together and then watched as Melissa did likewise and then squoze Gabrielles. I went over and said "Gabrielle what on earth are you doing?" She was somewhat drunk and said "I want another boob job, look at Melissa's! Here, feel them" she put my hand on Melissa's breast and made me squeeze it and said "and they just remain like that!" I simply remained silent and left them to it and went to the bar. Whilst stood waiting for my Martini someone came and squoze my bum; it was Elliot, he stood next to me and said "Another one of those please, he'll pay" Twenty pounds gone. I asked Elliot whether he had found anyone to take home and he said "Why of course, I have a table full of potentials." Whilst walking to the table I received yet another grope of my behind. This time it was from the man who had approached me at the beginning of the night he said "Are you going to be an awkward little swine all night just for the sake of it or are you going to sleep with me?" I smiled and said "Well, when you put it so nicely.. We'll leave soon." I went over to the table where the rest of my friends were and as I passed Kelly she said "Oh Kyle, your derriere looks absolutely scrumptious!" That explains the gropes I had been receiving all night long, she then said "Which do you prefer?" she pointed to the men next to her and then said "Or shall I propose a threesome?" I said "Oh a threesome would be splendid, if not, him." 

Together, my peers and I occupied the whole table, it was hillarious. At one point I heard a huge slap and turned to see Kelly glaring at the man I told her to choose at which point he got up and left with a hand mark on his cheek, she then leant over and said "Decision made.." Gabrielle text me from accross the table saying "Can I stay at your house this evening with you? I shall remain upstairs" I told her she could and that I was leaving at that moment. 

After having only been asleep for a matter of hours after the amazing intercourse, Gabrielle came charging into my bedroom shouting "Kyle, Kyle!" I shot up in bed and she said "I've got to be back in New York tomorrow, what am I going to do?!" I lay back down in bed and said "Gabrielle, why on earth have you just woke me up to ask such a ridiculous question? What do you think you should do?" she said "Errm, ring Jackie?" I said "Yes Gabrielle, ring Jackie." When I finally did get up I went downstairs to find Gabrielle waving a knife around the room. I asked "What are you doing?" She stopped and said "I've got the knife stuck in the apple for crying out loud! Of sod it!" And then she threw the knife and the apple in the bin and sat down at the table and began eating some salmon I presumed she had ordered from room service. The man who I had slept with came downstairs (one didn't get his name as usual, thus we shall call him Jack) and once again she managed to portray her intelligence when she asked whether either of us wanted some Salmonella. I looked at her and said "Gabrielle, do you know what Salmonella is?" she said "Female salmon" Jack looked at me in dispair and I said "She is quite serious"  and then she said "Oh, is it not?" I told her that Salmonella was in fact a disease and she said "Oh, well I always hear the expression catch salmonella so I just presumed it was female salmon, like a bull is a female cow." 

Gabrielle left for New York that day with another four suitcases (despite the fact she still has hundreds of items of clothing already) there and a couple of days later my parents returned from Milan. When I arrived at the airport to collect them they had a considerable amount more luggage than when I dropped them off at the airport, I said to my mum "I'm guessing he treat you well mother?" she said "Oh absolutely, it was marvellous dear. We had an excellent time!" I said "Oh good, what did you purchase for your darling son?" my father replied "What on earth could we possibly buy you that you need besides condoms which I imagine you get through faster than you do Cristal." I just said "Oh hilarious father." When we got back to their house my mother said "Where's your sister" I told her she had left for New York and she said "Oh of course.. Oh my, did she book a flight?" I said "Don't be so absurd mother, we phoned Jackie" to which she replied "Of course, how stupid of me" haha. They did get me a present, I got a vintage Gucci scarf and a pair of shoes. That evening we ate out at The Ivy and then I went to I think his name was Robert's afterwards. The following night Ellie, Kayleigh, Kelly, Chloe and myself decided to go out. Much to my dismay, as did my father as my mother was meeting with friends also. Kelly came to my parents house with me to get ready and as usual we made no attempt to rush and drank wine whilst listening to music. At one point my father came into my bedroom wearing just his pants and no top, Kelly immediately stopped midsentance and stared at him and then he said "Oh good evening Kelly, I didn't know you were here. Are you going out this evening too?" She said "Oh I most certainly am Haz, we ought to meet up, I shall show you a good time" my Dad laughed and said "Oh Miss Moss I do say! I am sorry to disappoint however I am married dear haha" Kelly laughed and said "Harold, do be serious, I was not insinuating anything of the sort" she then turned her back so my father couldn't hear her and said "although..." this sickened me somewhat and so I asked "What is it that you want exactly?" he said "Oh, I believe you have my Hermes watch" I didn't and so said "Father I have my Hermes watch I do not have yours. Nevertheless you may borrow it. I think it's here anyway, go and look in my wardrobe" he looked at me and said "That is a little vague, Kyle your wardrobe is the size of the average house" I showed him to my watch drawer which was filled with various boxed all packed in. About 5 minutes later he came out and read "Dear Harold, Just a small token to show my love for you, with love, Camilla" and then continued with another note saying "Dear Kyle, I hope you like it and what's more you no longer have to take mine without permission. All my love, Dad... Found in two separate boxes Kyle, each box containing a Hermes Watch. What was that you said about not having mine?" I said "Well I wasn't aware I had it father, now if you would mind leaving." He came over and hugged me and then repeatively kissed me on the cheek and said "I will meet up with you later just to make Kelly happy haha" once he had left I said "He is such a loser" Kelly seemed to have only just come round and said "Kyle, I would let him wrap his arms around me and kiss me at the drop of a hat.. Christ, I'd let him do anything to me at the drop of a hat" I was close to vomiting and she said "Kyle it's torturous, he has a body like yours if not better but he is 40 years old which makes it even better! Oh my life." The next thing my mother came walking in and said "Kelly darling, what jewellery would you opt for with this outfit?" She was wearing a Narciso Rodriguez black sheath dress which had satin stripes on along with a pair of 5 inch silver and gold Python Gucci heels which had suede strap detailing on. Kelly said "You look stunning as it is, I wouldn't wear anything. Perhaps your wedding ring as opposed to your engagement ring and that ought to be enough... Camilla, your legs are amazing! I do hope I look as good as you when I reach forty two years old!" My mother said "Oh Kelly you're such a dear. I imagine you will do, I saw your mother in Prada today, she has an amazing figure, as do you... We're going to meet up next weekend and go for lunch and then do some shopping" I said "Oh really, that's good, where are you going? To La Caprice followed by Harrods?" My mother said "No dear, we're going to Paris for the day. Elizabeth has already booked the jet.." 

Once finally ready Kelly and I met a rather drunk Felicity, Sophia (who has done an Elle cover) Julia (who has two Vogue covers) and Alessandra (who graced the cover of GQ in her lingerie in June) in Crystal. Stood next to these I felt like some sort of pimp. It was absurd. It seemed that almost every man in the room was staring, even those who were accompanied by females would stare as we passed haha. Whilst in the toilet at one point to men around my age approached me and said "Those girls you are with are fit! Fuck me, where did you pick up a bunch of girls like that?" I looked at him and said "A Victoria's secret party" and left. Haha. Once we had been dancing for quite some time and were now officially drunk Julia said "Let's go and find the rest of the posse, The Met Bar it is my dear friends!" Once at The Met Bar we joined a few more people, some of whom I was acquainted with which was marvellous! After an hour or so of being in the bar I felt someone smack my bum, I turned whilst flashing my dashing smile only to be faced by my father and the restauranteur Marco Pierre White. Marco laughed and said "he doesn't even flinch, it's the norm for him! You've brought this boy up well Harry!" My father then went on to humiliate me even more by going and hugging Kelly from behind, Sophia and Alessandra said "Oh Kelly, introduce us please! You really do sleep with London's finest!" I was repulsed, my father, who was also rather drunk (inevitable when out with Marco) said "Oh please girls! I'm far too good for Kelly" Kelly replied "Oh do be serious Haz. You ought to know by now that no one is too good for me haha" my dad said "You sound just like that egotistical son of mine over there." Sophia, Julia and a couple of the other girls said "Ohh" and then Julia said "Now I see where you get your remarkable good looks from Kyle" I was on the verge of vomiting. My friends were flirting with my own father. After the obvious display of flirtatious behaviour my father said "I am sorry to inform you all that I am married.." They all stared at him expecting him to say more and then Kelly said "A faithful husband girls" and they all said "Oh" my father and Marco began laughing and then my Dad said "So you're all promiscuous little so and so's like dearest Kyle" Julia said "A better term than slut I suppose..." At this point I insisted my father left me and my friends alone and went to socialise with people of his own generation, before leaving he managed to humiliate me a little bit more and grabbed my head and kissed me. Just what I long for when in a club full of attractive men and a vast amount of my friends. Prior to leaving with Ryan I said bye to the the models I had been out with and they said "I shall see you in a few weeks. I need to be on a plane in 6 hours!" I said "Oh crikey, had you better not go and get ready?" she laughed and said "Get ready? I'll go like this if I have to, the only thing I am slightly worried about is whether or not I shall be able to sleep with someone and get to the airport!"

At half past 4 in the morning I received a message from Gabrielle saying "I just received the pleasures of father singing Frank Sinatra to me down the phone.. What on earth?!" I would have replied however I was somewhat preoccupied haha. I went round to my parents house that evening for tea. It seems it wasn't just my father who was drunk and managed to humiliate me. Whilst eating dinner my mother said "Oh it was hilarious last night. I was dancing in a club, I cannot remember the name for the life of me, and all of a sudden a group of boys came and joined us, well they were fun so we allowed them and then your friend Lee came over and said 'gentleman, this is Kyle's mother, Camilla how are you?' and then he too danced with me. All of the other boys seemed to back off though at the mention of your name for some inexplicable reason." My father looked at me and smiled whilst my mother continued "It's rather amusing actually thinking back, he is a lovely boy!" I felt like killing myself. I have no doubt in my mind that Lee would have been staring at my mother's behind throughout their dance and using all his will power to prevent himself from groping her. I have no idea what the issue is with my friends and their particular liking which they take to my parents. It is repulsive! After dinner we sat in the drawing room to watch television and a programme about Dubai came on. It was rather good actually. They mentioned the party which we attended a few weeks ago and one of the billionaires on it also the same car as I haha, it goes without saying that I look far better in it than he. At one point during the programme a lady showed the viewers around an apartment and my father said "Ha! I sold the penthouse to that particular building a matter of weeks ago!" My mother interrupted him and said "Harold do be quiet! That lady deserves respect, she has started her business from nothing and has worked her way up. We on the other hand have merely inherited the majority of what we have now, your family lived in a castle in Dublin for crying out loud and had their own army, I imagine her family lived in an average house in London somewhere before achieving what she has." It's nice to witness my father get the verbal lashing as opposed to me every once in a while haha. 

After having watched the programme I received a text message from Kayleigh saying Dubai? x I replied saying No thank you my love, I think there may be a possibility we're going for Gabrielle's birthday which is only next week. Saying that prompted me to text Gabrielle regarding the subject. Gabrielle replied telling me I was to plan her birthday celebration whilst Kayleigh replied saying Kyle, don't be such a bore! We can have a jet in an hours time, Elliot, Chloe and Ellie have said they will come, I think Kelly may be with someone. I thought about it for a moment and then eventually gave in. I got my car keys and my father said "Where are you going?" I replied "Dubai, I shan't be there for long so I shall see you in a few days..." I got the usual "Be careful and behave" from the pair of them, said good bye to the dog and went to my house. I packed a mere two suitcases and took a chauffeur to Kayleigh's house. Surprisingly she was almost ready when I arrived so the waiting time was 15 minutes as opposed to the usual hour or so. Once she had accumulated her suitcases her father and I carried them to the car and he took us to the airport. Whilst in the car he said " You're all guaranteed to have a good time if Kyle takes after his father when he's had a few drinks" I tried to sound enthusiastic but I was anything but when I said "Oh, were you out with him too?" he replied "I wasn't initially but I saw him in Volstead and remained with him until the early hours of the morning when we all stumbled home to our wives" I was thinking "Oh Jesus" but instead the words "Sounds a little familiar..." came out of my mouth. 

Due to arriving by helicopter Chloe was already at the airport when we arrived and Elliot and Ellie messaged to say they were almost here. I went outside to meet Elliot who was getting dropped off by his brother (Maxwell.) As usual, I almost had an orgasm just from looking at the unfortunately straight specimen haha. Before going into the airport Maxwell wound down his window and said "Kyle, when are we going to have that night out?" I laughed and said "Maxwell, being desperate is not an attractive trait. If you have such a great desire for me you'll just have to be patient" he laughed and said "Oh do be serious, I'm out of your league Kyle" Elliot pushed me to go inside and said "Please refrain from flirting with my brother Kyle, it is rather sickening." I looked at him and said "Elliot, you have slept with my sister" he said "Ah.. I don't really have a reply for that one..." When we arrived in Dubai we checked in at the Burj al Arab where we were accommodating and went straight to bed, it goes without saying that I didn't go to sleep haha. 

For the rest of the weekend we shopped, clubbed and slept with various exceptionally good looking people. On the Sunday, post sleeping with a man called Richard from America he went with me to go shopping. As usual I found a vast amount of things which I wished to purchase and took them with me to the checkout when he simply handed over his card and paid for all the six thousand pounds worth; I thanked him in my own special way haha. 

On Monday I decided I was bored and so had my father's p.a book me a flight home. I was flying alone and as usual I was petrified in the airport. Once on board I took my seat next to a woman he looked as though she was in her thirties. I smiled and then completely ignored everyone in the cabin as I attempted to calm myself. Mid-way through the flight the pilot informed everyone of turbulence and as usual I gripped the arm rest as the pilot instructed the cabin crew to also take their seats. This makes it worse as it means it's bad as opposed to them just being concerned for passengers suing the airline. It was horrendous! The plane was repetitively dropping out of the sky and I was holding onto the seat for dear life. All of a sudden the lady next to me grabbed my hand and squoze it while I squoze back. I thought she may have just been trying to comfort me but when I quickly glanced she too was holding on for dear life. It seemed to last for ever and was not getting any better. I honestly thought I was going to die at one point and tears began rolling down my face and when the turbulence didn't stop the girl began to cry too, she was wailing so we held hands whilst gripping the armrest. The turbulence suddenly stopped and the cabin crew got up and carried on walking around. I straightened myself up and relaxed a little bit more and the lady next to me said "Excuse me" and went to the powder room. She returned having redone her eye makeup which had run onto her cheeks. Once re-seated I said "I do apologise for that. I have a somewhat phobia of flying so as you can imagine such things don't bode well for my nerves..." she laughed and said "Oh my goodness do not apologise. I think I would have collapsed had it not been for you. I must have sounded like a complete imbecile wailing like that!" Thankfully the lady helped pass the time for the rest of the flight. Upon being collected by my father I told him of my trauma and as opposed to receiving sympathy I was told "I fail to comprehend how a man such as your self and what's more a son of mine can cry over a bit of a bumpy ride on a plane." Welcome home Kyle.

On Tuesday I woke at my parents house to see that London had been covered in snow. I messaged Kelly to ask her if she wanted to take the dogs out for a walk she replied saying Most certainly, come to my house xx. I put on my Tom Ford fur coat (which cost a mere fortune) with jeans, some Gucci boots and sunglasses and got Maddox in my Lambourghini and set off for Kelly's house at the same time as my mother left for work. Within seconds of being on the road I was forced to turn around. My car seemed to be taking on the role of a shovel due to being so low to the ground haha. When I got back to the house my mother was also re-parking my sister's Ferrari for the same reason. We went back into the house and my father said "What on earth are the pair of you doing?" when we told him he said "Jesus Christ, am I the only one in this family with any intelligence? Gabrielle certainly takes after the pair of you." My mother got the keys for the Audi Q7 so I took the Rolls Royce, I didn't ask for permission of course. 

On Tuesday I went and stayed at my dear friend Camilla Al Fayed's house and went shopping with her on Wednesday; she informed me that her father would be on the programme with Piers Morgan on Thursday as it was set in Monte Carlo, a sequel to the previous week which was set in Dubai.

I shall speak to you all soon. 

Much love,