10 November 2009

Fashion weeks...

Hello there,

Well one sincerly hopes you have set a lot of time aside to read this post... I have attended four fashion weeks, hence, there is a considerable amount to write about. I left London on the evening of 9th September via private jet along with Kelly, Kayleigh, Chloe, Sylvie, David, an extremely pregnant Ellie, her fiancé Sam, two dogs and over 50 pieces of luggage. If course this isn't all we were taking; the majority had been sent via post prior to our flight. It goes without saying that I had indulged in countless suits amongst other garments in aid of the trip.

The nine hour flight was filled with excitement (me being the exception, sat strapped in, clutching the seat for dear life.) When we landed at JFK Kayleigh, Kelly and I got into one of the several Suv's which were waiting to collect us and left the luaggage for the baggage handlers to load into the remaining cars. Chloe, Sylvie and David meanwhile went to get a helicopter to the city. It was the morning of the 10th now, the day on which fashion week commenced and also the day of fashion's night out. Gabrielle was already in New York as were many of our other friends so as soon as our phones were turned on they went off repetitively for five minutes... I personally had 37 messages haha. We discussed what we would do that evening and accepted our invitations to parties and nights clubbing. Kayleigh then said "What the hell am I going to do with my hair? Getting a hair appointment at all this week is going to be such a challenge" I replied "Do tell me you're joking! Have you forgotten who your parents are?! Besides, my mother has flown two from London to work with their companies here in New York yet make her their main priority so if all else fails then just go to their townhouse."

When we finally arrived in Manhattan the chauffeur took Kelly to The Four Seasons and then Kayleigh and I to The Plaza. The hotel where I own a residence and which is now managed by Fairmont; the chain which Kayleigh's father's company owns. Hence, my payments have significantly reduced and my status has gone beyond v.i.p. haha. We got out of the car and we greeted as "Mr McQuillan" and "Miss Barrack" before proceeding straight upstairs to freshen up. Once in my apartment, as always, I was shocked by the mess Gabrielle had created. Each time I return it is worse than the previous. On this occasion there were rollers all over the floor, dresses hanging from every single door, draping over every surface and a gargantuan makeup case along with a hairdryer and other pieces of paraphernalia were covering the dining table. Someone knocked on the door and due to me now being in a quite fowl mood I flung it open and said "Gabrielle what-" It was Elliot, I said "Oh" and continued on my rant "look at the state of my apartment!" he told me to shut up to which I replied "Pardon?" he repeated it and then began to kiss me I said "Oh ok then..." and stumbled to the bedroom. I had no sense of time however a while later, Elliot and I were on top of the bed linen, doing what you imagine we were doing when a deafening scream almost perforated my ear drum and caused both Elliot and I to jump out of our skin. I looked up to see Gabrielle standing in the doorway. I immediately rolled over so Elliot was on top of me thus to keep ones anatomy from the view of my younger sister. She stood there with her hands over her eyes still screaming, turned, walked into the door frame then stumbled out. I couldn't help but laugh and then questioned "Why is she such an imbecile?" However, me being me, I wasn't going to allow for such an insignificant glitch to put a stop to my sex life and so we continued.

Mid-afternoon, when we had finished, I went into my guest bedroom which Gabrielle had now made her own and bellowed "Hey Gabby!" Only to find that she was asleep and I had just woken her. Mistake. Huge mistake. Her eyes shot open and she screamed "What?! What could be so important that you that it is necessary to wake me?!" I sat on the bed and replied "I just wanted to see my lovely, lovely sister... Oh and Mum wants us to go to the town house in an hour" she just shouted "Well it isn't mutual. Get out!" I didn't and so I received a rather painful kick on the back of my head. I just turned and looked at her, evidently regretting what she'd just done, stood and whipped the covers off her to reveal her wearing her pyamas, then picked her up and put her over my shoulder and walked with her. Of course she was screaming her head off and hitting and kicking me and saying "Put me down you ugly brute! KYLE!" I didn't and instead walking with the screaming child to the door whilst she pulled my hair and punched me, took her through the living room, through the foyer and put her in the hallway outside my apartment and closed the door. I listened to her bang, scream and hurl insults for about five minutes until she finally gave up and went somewhere. Elliot was complaining at me telling me I was horrible however he picked up on my bad mood and stopped immediately. Wise. I turned to him and began kissing him and then, well there went my afternoon. After having slept with Elliot for the second time I located my phone to read all the messages and view my missed calls. I read a message from Gabrielle saying I HATE YOU! one from my father saying Kyle, what you did to your sister is disgraceful. Ring me. I am not impressed! Makes a change haha, then of course, Kyle isn't the devil child without a message from Mother too: What on earth is wrong with you young man?! Throwing your sister out of your apartment wearing nothing other than her pyjamas leaving her with no other option other than to get a car across New York to our house. It is preposterous! You've been in New York a matter of hours and you're already causing havoc! I want you to go round to the townhouse at some point today and apologise to Gabrielle. I replied I'm not apologising, she brought it on herself. I am oblivious as to why she has to run and tell you. If she wasn't such an imbecile she would have thought to ask for another room in the Plaza, however, unfortunately for her, she has a complete lack of brain cells and therefore didn't. There was a split second until I recieved yet another message saying Do not speak about your sister like that. Your father is on his way back from the office and is coming to get you. I do not have time to deal with this. At the same time as I said "Oh for crying out loud" the phone rang and reception told me my father had just arrived and was making his way upstairs. Marvellous. As I was still naked I put on a tracksuit and placed the large box of condoms in a drawer and opened the door. My father stormed in still wearing his suit from work and said "You're coming with me Kyle" I huffed and said "You are actually a joke" he said "Oh really, and why is that?" I replied "You are making out as though I have chopped off her limbs and posted them to her friends or something" where that came from I will never know haha "all I did was throw her out of my apartment" he said "Kyle, you woke her from a sleep, carried her kicking and screaming, put her outside and ignored her while she repetitively banged and asked for you to allow her back in. She phoned me from a car crying about what you had done. Not only that but I pay for this apartment so she is more than welcome to stay here. Now get what ever you need we are leaving!" While I located my ipod so that I could go for a run post world war three at my parents house I said "Well let us all just come to the mutual agreement that I am completely in the wrong here, as usual, and Gabrielle is faultless because of course she can do no wrong can she!!" I stormed past him and made my way to the elevator and heard him close the door and follow me. I was in a mood and hence, impatient so I went down the countless flights of stairs and didn't bother waiting for my father and got into a car and made my way to Carnegie Hill. Elliot messaged me saying erm.. Goodbye then haha I had forgotten about him. Once at my parent's townhouse I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me, and hammered on the door of their house.

The housekeeper answered with a friendly smile however I merely walked past her and followed the thuds which were coming through the floor to the lower basement. When I got down to the space which had been solely devoted to Gabrielle's dancing she was in the middle of dancing to Lady Gaga. I walked in and turned off the music when she turned and bellowed "What the hell are you doing?! Get out!" I didn't and instead retaliated with more shouting until we were stood there screaming at one another. My father walked in, now also in a mood (probably due to me leaving him at The Plaza, unaware of my whereabouts) when Gabrielle shouted "JUST GET OUT! I have no longing to speak to you!" I just did so before I punched her and said "Move" to my father and then Gabrielle turned the music back on and my father also stormed out. He called my name and I bellowed "What?!" however he said "Oh I simply cannot be bothered with this" and I got Maddox and left. After a ten mile run around the park I returned to The Plaza to begin getting ready for our night out. Exactly what I needed when in the mood I was in. Along with channelling my anger into my running I would soon be back to normal. I showered and put on a t-shirt from Burberry Prorsum and a cardigan from form along with shiny black jeans from YSL and some John Varvatos boots. Someone knocked on my door just as I was doing my hair and then opened it themselves, Kayleigh walked in with her hair in rollers and a lady following her with a suitcase and said "Don't mind me dear. My mother is driving me insane, she's going out with your mother this evening. Apparently this fashion's night out has caused havoc at Conde Nast today and you and Gabrielle have caused havoc so they are both in need of a few bottles of Champagne... Nothing out of the ordinary. I have taken this from her though" she held up a black and white dress and said "I had it taken in, and up, this afternoon... It's from Balenciaga." She sat whilst the lady I presumed to be a hair and makeup girl removed the rollers from her hair. Once done, Kayleigh slipped into her dress, stood in the mirror and said "My hair doesn't look right with the dress" the girl forced a smile and I asked "How long has your hair been in those rollers for?" she replied "Well the majority of the day, I know I'm awkward but it just doesn't look right. I look like a footballer's wife or something horrendous like that. I think I want it up." I was done in a mere ten minutes however Kayleigh was in the midst of having her hair pinned in various directions so I text Elliot, Lee and a couple of other people from New York. Within minutes I had replies from 8 people saying they would come round for pre-party drinks so I phoned room service and ordered champagne.

Within about five minutes there was a steady flow of people entering my apartment: James, Chase, Kris Kranz, Tyler McPeak, James, Danny Schwarz, Bradley and of course Elliot and Lee. When the butler handed Tyler a glass of champagne he said "Oh fucking hell Kyle. Why do you have to be so classy. I always feel like I can't sit down on the sofa when I'm in your apartment and now I'll feel low class if I ask for something like a beer haha" I replied "Have what ever you please and by all means be seated. I can assure you that plenty worse things have occurred on that couch in comparison to the way in which you chose to sit. Just this afternoon in fact" he replied "Oh.. Well I'll stand and can I have a Martini or something - I'll let my hair down while I'm playing rich kid" haha. Bradley asked whether Gabrielle would be joining us and Chase echoed his question I merely replied "I have no idea. I'm not speaking to her" Chase laughed and said "Ohhhh the siblings are at it again. She's hot though Kyle, find out if she's coming out... Those legs!" Bradley retorted "No.. Her boobs are out of this world!" I was horrified and said "I may not be speaking to her however I have no longing to hear you talk about her in such repulsive manners if you would be so kind" they laughed and said "Well Kyle, she's perfect. Even if she stayed in my line of vision my night would be amazing. Please, for a friend! I'll ensure you find someone to sleep with" Kris said "Do you not know who this man is? As if he has trouble doing so himself haha"

After waiting for Kayleigh's hair to be finished and once the room was fumigated with hairspray we were ready to leave. It was now about half past ten and the majority of people had been out since 8 o'clock, attending events in order to publicise 'Fashion's night out.' The rest of the males and I went downstairs to The Champagne Bar where a couple of other friends were waiting: Charles and Phillip whilst Kayleigh went and met some friends at Victoria Secret. From New York's Upper East Side Charles and Phillip had a similar upbringing to I, however haven't rebelled as much, or at all in fact. I have known them for quite some time and they have both attended Harvard University before returning to New York. I introduced them to those who didn't know them and said "Are you well prepared for this night gentlemen? In the past you have stated that I am a bad influence, however, in comparison to these models, I am a saint" Phillip (Phil) replied "Well that's slightly worrying. I will probably wake in some strangers bed having no recollection of who they are or the previous night if I follow your influence Kyle" well, what could I say? haha. We sat and drank various beverages for a short while when Elliot said "Kyle, your Dad's just walked in with his friends haha" I said "Oh greaatttttt" and felt an arm wrap around me. He asked how I was however I didn't look at him and just told him I was fine, I then realised he was intoxicated when he said "You're not still in a mood about this afternoon are you?" I said "I'm not in a mood about it no. I am however in a mood with you about it still." Then, like the sheer annoyance that he is, he hugged me and said "But my baby boy!" How highly embarrassing. I could see my social life disappearing before my eyes haha. Elliot got off that phone at that point and said "We're going to meet a few people at Bugalow 8" I shouted to the bartender "Two shots of the most of expensive tequila for each of us... He'll pay" I notioned towards my father and he said "No I will not. He will" I said "Ok then, I shall" and withdrew my father's card from my wallet he glared at me and said "You are such a little swine young man. Put it away, I will pay for it later. Now leave me alone, you are cramping my style whilst I'm with the Wall Street Crowd. Be careful tonight and Kyle... Be safe" he winked at me and I died on the spot haha. How disgusting, cringe-worthy and embarrassing! We all drank what tasted like some form of toxic waste and took chauffeurs to Bugalow 8. I was extremely drunk by the time we arrived there and the night just becomes one increasing blur. I have no idea what I did thus I cannot share it with you haha. I woke in the morning lying half in half out of my apartment with the door wide open and the key in my hand still. I was fully clothed and my head had trippled in weight. I stood up and entered my apartment, closing the door behind me and looked on my phone. I had something absurd like 27 messages. One was a picture of me stood on top of a table dancing in a nightclub I don't even remember going to, another was similar only I was pulling up my t-shirt for some reason and could see three sets of hands, one on my crotch and two on my stomach, another picture was of me stood with a man against a wall kissing, another was of me topless whilst standing beside two men I didn't know, each of us groping one another's pectoral muscles and then another of me on my own kissing my bicep followed by about 9 messages with the attached picture of me lying in the doorway where I woke that morning with the taglines: Absolutely amazing night. ,Kyle you fucking legend!, I had an absolute ball last night!, The best night in a long time.. Absolutely hilarious! , Why am I not surprised to see this is how you ended your night, you were positively smashed my friend! Amongst others. I passed a mirror and realised my t-shirt was now on backwards (what on earth?!) and entered the bedroom to see Kelly lying there. I woke her and she burst out laughing when she saw me and I asked "Do enlighten me... What the hell did I do last night?" I waited whilst she stopped laughing and said "I don't know why you were so drunk. It was hillarious. You were dancing on tables and all sorts of things" I told her of the pictures and again she burst out laughing. I queried about the picture of me shirtless with the two other topless men and she said "Well we were on our way back here and we passed them and you informed them of how divine their physiques were and then removed your t-shirt and said 'get in a picture gentlemen, let's give these ladies a happy ending to their nights!' and they did, surprisingly" I then asked about the man I am kissing in a picture and she said "he was out with Gabrielle, he was incredibly good looking but when we got here you just collapsed in the door and he said he was only staying so he could sleep with you and you weren't in any state so he left and then I attempted to move you and couldn't so I took a picture and sent it to Elliot requesting help and he replied.." she got out her phone and showed me a message which said Hahahha do be serious... I'm just walking into my hotel with a throbbing man, I'm not abandoning him to move that over-intoxicated corpse. Just leave him there, that picture is highly amusing nevertheless! Becoming a recluse seemed a good option at that moment in time. We moved to the sitting room and sat talking whilst the incessant buzz of my blackberry increased the pain in my pulsing head.

I didn't even realise I had fallen asleep however I woke up, still in the sitting room feeling nothing other than a little dehydrated. I had a drink of water and decided it was probably time I had a shower and changed out of the clothes I wore the night before. When I freshened up I read the messages I had recieved during my nap. Gabrielle had said Why are you such an ostentatious drunken idiot? I replied saying That is a question I cannot answer... I just do not know. A little while later I went to my parent's house in Carnegie Hill to get Maddox and take him for a walk around the park, the duration of which I spent on the phone to Elliot having him enlighten me even more so on what I had done the previous night and how I resulted in being so drunk. He claimed "You just simply did not stop drinking and before I knew it you were out of control on the table top." When I returned to my parent's house my father had just returned from work and said "Oh good afternoon Kyle. Did you have a good night last night?" I had no idea but merely said "Yes I did thank you, how was yours?" he told me "Oh it was excellent thank you. Your mother was not impressed when I arrived home at half past 3 and then went ballistic when Gabrielle returned and phoned our bedroom asking what she could feasibly eat" Gabrielle entered wearing a pair of tights and a goat fur peacoat with a pair of (shock) flat Lanvin shoes carrying a Gucci holdall. She looked flustered and removed her coat to reveal her wearing nothing other than a black leotard which was semi-seethrough at the top I said "Oh.. Not quite what I was expecting you to be wearing under there" she replied "Well I'm attempting to compensate for looking like death by wearing fur dear... My feet are in absolute agony! Dad will you massage them for me" he rolled his eyes and said "Come here then princess" he asked "What is the pain due to darling? Dancing?" she replied "No, wearing flat shoes! They are so painful. I can cope during dancing because I am rising et cetra but just walking in them is unbearable." As she lifted her leg onto my father's lap I said "Oh Gabrielle.. Your feet are foul! Please go for a pedicure or something!" she said "Yes Kyle I know, you say this every time" they were truly disgusting, there was few scars, a scab at this moment in time and a nail missing. My mother entered wearing a black top and pants along with a rabbit fur snood and elbow length leather gloves she shouted "Harold" and then entered the room and began talking about things which meant nothing to Gabrielle nor I who were on our phones. When they had finished talking my mother said "Oh, we're going out for a business dinner at 8 with a few clients... Gabrielle please book a pedicure oh and while I remember, please do not ring us whilst we're asleep to ask what you can eat. Some of us do work rather than lie in until they desire and then attend a fashion show or two." I placed my head on her lap and requested that she played with my hair, she did so. Gabrielle then said "Oh Dad, look at this!" and withdrew her phone. I feared the worst and yes, he erupted into a fit of laughter as she scrolled through the images for his viewing, my mother asked what was so funny and so she passed her the phone. She didn't find it quite as amusing and said "Oh Kyle honestly, if you are going to get into such a state then I suggest you do not drink at all. Harold it isn't amusing, we ought not to encourage such behaviour" I quickly jutted "he bought me two shots when I was already drunk which contributed" before I knew it his hand was squeezing my face and he was saying "Why you little swine" I was laughing yet not enjoying it and my mother gave him a quick slap on the back of his head and said "I feel like I'm the mother of three at times. You have a lot to answer for with regards to our son Harold McQuillan. Kyle, such acts are disgraceful and shameful, please be cautious with your drinking in future." After a short while I said "Mum..." she said "Yes Kyle" while my father said "This is going to be a request for something expensive I can tell" I continued "Can I have item of fur please?" she said "I suppose so, Gabrielle's had a couple of pieces this year" my father said "He's barely worn that one we spent thirty thousand dollars on last year!" I said "Oh I forgot about that. I don't know where it is..." My father said "What?" I replied "Well I just don't know which house. I have a feeling it could be in Beverly Hills or Aspen because I took it with us when we went away for Christmas." I received a message at that point from an unknown number saying Why don't we continue from where we were last night (before you collapsed in your doorway)? I replied saying Oh, so now you want me, yet it seems when I am lying drunk on the floor you cannot do so much as aid my friend in at least getting me into the apartment he replied rather quickly saying Ah, about that haha. Well we were all over one another in the car home and I was dying for sex, you of all people know! ... I'll make it up to you I told him to come now and then got up from resting my head on my mother's lap and said "I am leaving. Gabrielle what are you doing tonight? Shall we go for something to eat?" I told her to arrange a reservation and inform me. My father said "Where, may I ask, are you going?" I said "To pick up from where I left off last night" my mother said "I beg your pardon? Drinking?!" I smirked and said "It is probably best that you go with that assumption mother yes" I think at that point she realised what I was reffering to and as I left I heard "Oh that boy is repulsive" along with "he has issues Harold. I am telling you" from my mother and Gabrielle who was oblivious as always asking "What's he gone to pick up?" When I arrived at The Plaza he was sitting in the foyer and approached me saying "I have just requested your room number and they told me a Kyle McQuillan doesn't live here" I laughed and said "Yes of course. If I was under that name then there would be a flow of people coming to my apartment when they crave good intercourse. If you wish to acquire my room number then you will have to provide them with my other name" once in my apartment he said "I'm Jason by the way-" I shot "Don't bore me with your life history, it's irrelevant to the task in hand" and began kissing him...

Once I had ensured Jason's actions the previous night had been compensated for I evicted him from my apartment and replied to my invitations for a night out saying I think I am going to stay in tonight I'm afraid. I more than excelled myself last night. Gabrielle and I are going to Aureole so there is a possibility we shall do something afterwards. I changed and Gabrielle telephoned to say she was on her way in the car. I found my wallet and phone and went to meet her. I got into the back of the car and felt incredibly underdressed, wearing pants and shirt from Tom Ford I looked like a peasant next to my sister who was wearing a silver Emanuel Ungaro puffball skirt with a see-through lace top with a black bra along with another piece of fur from Karl Donoghue this time being a rabbit wrap, a chanel handbag and a pair of Thakoon shoes which were a mosaic of cracked pieces of mirror.. Comfortable. We had a lovely time at the meal and stayed rather late (drinking water on my part.) We talked about plans for the week in addition to her boyfriend, Oscar, who was arriving that evening in New York for work, dancing... After dining we got into the car and dropped Gabrielle at Oscar's apartment, I then scrolled through my phone book for someone to spend the night with. I decided on an old friend who used to be part of our group in London before moving to New York to open a gym. His name was Joshua and was a dark haired, blue eyed, olive skinned beauty. I sent him a message saying Hello there, are you free? he replied saying I'm having a night in with my boyfriend (please don't be too appalled) haha. Why do you ask? Require my services in satisfying your needs my friend? I replied saying Were you under the illusion that I was nice and just texting you to be friendly? Of course I require your services haha. My bed has been absent of your chizzled body for quite some time Joshy. Let's be honest, your boyfriend isn't going to be a patch on me now is he so I suggest you make an excuse and I shall come and collect you. I'm in the car now. It wasn't long until I got another reply saying You really don't have a heart do you haha. Nothing but good looks, muscle, sex drive and ego. Attractive qualities I must say, appealing too. Ok, I will. You're such a bastard, not to mention a bad influence! I wasn't waiting long outside of his apartment building when he entered wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a cardigan, revealing his muscled torso; my body temperature increased at that very second. He said "Why hello there. You haven't changed a single bit, only more muscle. Still arousing me upon seeing you haha. Jesus Christ.." I laughed and said "You have certainly changed! A boyfriend. What on earth?! You ought to spend more time with me in order to eradicate such idiotic behaviour" he said "Well if you got in touch more often then perhaps I would spend time with you. I sent you a message about three months ago and you never replied" I leant over and said something, bit my lip and groped his ever growing crotch. He grabbed my head and pulled me in to kiss me. I was now straddling him and he was positively erect. I didn't even realise we had stopped until the driver opened his door and stood beside ours ready to open it. I straightened myself up, attempted to smooth my hair and de-mounted him he looked at me and said "Kyle... I cannot get out of this car!" I looked down at his loose fitting tracksuit bottoms and yes, it was like a pole in a tent. I laughed and the driver opened the door. As I made my way up the steps I could hear Josh's footsteps coming behind me and he wrapped his enourmous arms around my upper body, kissed my neck and said "I'll just have to take you from behind to hide it" I laughed and said "If you insist" once in the lift we resumed our kissing when an elderly couple got in, I quickly turned around and Josh positioned me to hide his throbbing anatomy whilst I said "Good Evening" to the couple. The lady asked "Are you two here modelling in fashion week?" I said "Oh no. I'm merely here to watch the shows and attend the social gatherings - is it fashion week which brings you to the city?" we had a short conversation before they got out of the lift a few floors prior to us and wished them a "Good night." Josh and I resumed. I was half undressed by the time we got to my floor and as soon as we were in my apartment we were slamming into walls and doors, stopping for some pleasure before moving on. I think we had sex in every room that night... The following morning I was exhausted however received a sudden surge of energy when I woke to Josh kissing me and we commenced once more. I couldn't keep my hands off his back, it was utterly divine! When the time came for him to leave I stood in the doorway and kissed him and he walked a short distance, turned around, grabbed and kissed me again and then said "I'm just going to have to go otherwise I never will" I kissed him again and said "You don't have to" and he kicked the door shut. I was already breathing heavily as we kissed and groped one another so it didn't take long until I was being thrown on to the chaise longue with Josh on top of me. I immediately pushed him off onto the floor and said "Not on my white Versace furniture please" and continued.

That night I joined Kelly, Kayleigh and Elliot at 60 Thompson's bar - Thom Bar and remained there until I could no longer prevent my eyes from closing at around 2 am. The following day, Sunday, Gabrielle went to the Donna Karan show along with a couple of other friends whilst the rest of us had a little respite before beginning preparation for Marc Jacobs' events. Not all had acquired tickets, Gabrielle and I had due to her working with him on her work placement however, regardless of whether they were going to the show or not, the majority were attending his afterparty. Gabrielle arrived at my apartment at around 4 pm and charged straight to the guest room without a word, dropping all of her belongings on the way. Whilst I was in my bedroom picking suitable garments from the ten suitcases which were scattered around my room in addition to my wardrobe someone knocked on the door. I opened it and as I expected, in came two girls with suitcases. I told them to go and take a seat in the dining room and wait for Gabrielle who would be out shortly. Fifteen minutes later she stormed into my bedroom in her knickers and bra with wet hair and said "Where on earth are my wretched hair and makeup girls?! This is absurd" I said "Gabrielle they've been sat in the dining room for the past quarter of an hour" she shot back "Oh Jesus Christ Kyle, would it have been such a difficultly for you to inform me of such things. You're so incompetent!" I could have guessed it would be my fault somehow. I decided on an outfit and went to the gym whilst my apartment turned into Gabrielle's preparation suite. I did however take a little longer than anticipated thus it was I who was then running through my apartment to the shower haha. When I was dry I came out of my room wearing only my underwear and asked whether the hairdresser would cut and style my hair, Gabrielle of course began moaning and said "Oh Kyle! She's here assisting me. Stop being such a lady and do it yourself" I told her to be quiet and sat down, just as I did so someone else knocked on the door and I went and answered it... Mother. She came in as I went and took my seat back in the dining room and she said "Why, may I ask are you both sat in your underwear? Do you have no social decency what so ever. May I just apologise on their behalf as I imagine they have not done so" I said "Is there a purpose to your visit or are you just here to moan?" she smiled at me and said "Ever so polite as always. I am sorry but it seems you always give me reason to do so. Moving on, I too am going to the show with Kayleigh's mother, I'm meeting her in the champagne bar downstairs shortly and then I think we shall see you there" it was at that moment that I realised that her hair and makeup had been done to a flawless standard and she was wearing a grey long sleeved dress with a clutch from Louis Vuitton and a pair of shoes which I also believed to be from Louis Vuitton along with her wedding ring which is hardly ever worn due to the sheer size of it. We talked for a while and then she went and took a business call and I went to change. I wore a pair of Grey pants and a cardigan from Marc Jacobs along with a shirt and shoes from YSL. I put on a Dior watch and a Louis Vuitton ring and went into the sitting area where Gabrielle was changing in front of everyone. She put on a pair of grey trousers which had a pleated skirt attached to the back along with a shoulder padded blazer from Balmain. She stood in the mirror for a moment and my mother said "Aren't you going to put a blouse on dear?" she replied "No mother I am not. I will feel completely unnattractive... This just looks positively abysmal" she walked out of the room and returned a couple of seconds later removing her blazer once more. She turned her back to me, removed her bra and said "Mum... Can you please tape my breasts" ... normal. After a couple of minutes or so they were done and Gabrielle jumped on the spot to test them and then said "Oh spiffing work mother." She put her blazer back on and was happy with how she now looked with her somewhat phenomenal cleavage haha. My mother left and prior to doing so Gabrielle shouted "I am sitting between you and Kayleigh's mum" I looked at her and asked why and she said "That way I can inform Kayleigh's mother of what I want and she can acquire it through Vogue whilst our mother can pay her. Now come and help me find shoes and jewellery." After another ten minutes we decided on a brand new pair of David Wyatt shoes, her Harry Winston ring and the $120,000 Himalayan Hermes bag which I purchased as a gift for her twenty-first birthday. Finally ready we both left and met Kayleigh downstairs and took a car to the show.

The show was amazing as expected and I could hear Gabrielle whispering throughout. At the after party Gabrielle and I passed Marc and he asked whether we enjoyed the show Gabrielle said "It was absolutely amazing. Although, I only enjoyed it from the ankle up..." he laughed and said "Yes, no heels this year Gabrielle" she said "Well as lovely as they were, flats hurt my feet" he joked about this for a while and then said "well I see you're not wearing my shoes today anyway" she smiled and said "I'm a fan of your designs marc. I'm not an obsessed groupie" he laughed and said "Good answer, good answer... Have a nice night!" And that we most certainly did!

The following day Gabrielle attended Vera Wang, Temperley and Willow with my mother before having yet another amazing night out in the city. This time we spent the majority of our night in 49 grove before going to a friend's townhouse for a rather large gathering of beautiful people. I left with Lloyd that night and slept for a couple of hours before Gabrielle waking me up slamming doors. I asked the man to leave, denied him the privilege of getting my mobile number and I went to see Gabrielle. When I entered the drawing room she was sat furiously flicking her way through Vogue. I audibly exhaled and said "What's wrong?" she slammed the magazine shut and shouted "Our mother has gone to Oscar De La Renta without me!" I just said "Oh" for which I received "OH?! That is one of the best shows in New York Kyle and she has gone without me!" her phone rang and she shouted "What?!" I listened whilst she bellowed down the phone to who I presumed to be my father and then her tone completely changed to little miss sweet and innocent and she said "Ok, I will. Thank you, I love you" I asked who it was and she said "Dad.. He told me to go shopping and treat myself to compensate for my bad mood... Come with me if you like." Now I was in a mood. If that was me who was throwing a ludicrous tantrum at my father I would have been told to grow up and stop being so immature and that they have other things to worry about besides me and my childlike behaviour, but of course, this was Gabrielle thus it is a completely different story. Especially when my father is involved. I showered and changed into a pair of distressed Diesel jeans, calf length Gucci boots, a black v-neck jumper from Armani, a charcoal Burberry snood and my Chanel J12. I got my wallet and ensured both of my parents' Black American Express' were in there and went to get Gabrielle. She was wearing a Roberto Cavalli sequinned vest with a pair of Patent leather pants from Pucci, a rabbit snood from Burberry, a pair of studded Roberto Cavalli heels measuring 5 inches high and a chanel clutch. As it was only next door, we started in Bergdorf Goodman. Upon entrance to the shoe salon Gabrielle was greeted as "Miss McQuillan." I questioned how they knew her name and she said "Well I used to come more or less everyday when I was undergoing my work placement as it was, in a sense, my corner shop and once they realised I had a black American express and had purchased every piece of footwear I admired I became a vip dear" in that store alone Gabrielle purchased six pairs of shoes and five dresses along with various items of makeup. When the shop assistant handed the bags to her she immediately passed them to me without hesitation and said "I want to have a look in Louis Vuitton next oh and I also need to go to Abercrombie and Fitch. Why don't you go and put those bags at The Plaza otherwise you're going to become somewhat overloaded aren't you?" I just stared at her in complete shock and said "Pardon? Why is it that I am burdened with your purchases? You can carry them!" she laughed and said "Kyle, don't be so absurd. I have a clutch to carry and I'm wearing heels. Ok, so run along and put those at the Plaza, I'll see you in a moment, love you, bye" and she walked off without another word haha. I left the bags with the bellboy and made my way to Louis Vuitton where Gabrielle already had someone following her in possession of a number of items and was now on her way to try on clothes. I meanwhile browsed the men's items and picked two pairs of lace ups and a pair of boots. Gabrielle telephoned me and told me to go and give my verdict on a dress she was trying on. She came out to reveal a rather peculiar yet nice dress nonetheless. I said I liked it and waited whilst she put her own garments back on and went to pay. She had purchased two clutch bags, a necklace which she was going to wear as a headband, two pairs of boots, a pair of pumps, a pair of ballerina flats, a jacket and a dress. Again, I was given the bags and we went to Abercrombie and Fitch. As always there were the undeniably gorgeous models stood in the doorway topless, posing for pictures with the tourists and I fantasised about them as always. As we passed the better looking of the two he said "Hey, Gabrielle!" she turned around, stared at him blankly for a moment then said "Oh my goodness, nice to see you again! How the devil are you?" and kissed him on either cheek. Envy. The female model turned to me and said "Hey, you two totally have the cutest accent! Are you models?" I thanked her and told her we weren't and she said "Oh well you definitely have potential in here! You look like models or celebrities or something" I entered the shop whilst Gabrielle continued to talk/flirt with the model who was effortlessly making the brand all the more attractive. I browsed the shop and purchased a few tracksuits and went to find Gabrielle, who, was still talking to the man I said "Have you been shopping yet?" she said "Kyle don't interrupt. Can you just go and buy me all the nice pairs of tracksuit bottoms there are in the women's department, size zero if they have it, if not then the next smallest. They're only for dancing so it doesn't matter all that much." When I had finally finished the task which my younger sister had set me I went back to the doorway where she had been for the past fifteen minutes and handed her her requested purchases, I asked the man whether a fellow member of staff was in work today and he said "No, not today, it's his day off.. He'd be here next to me if he was. Are you two friends?" I looked at Gabrielle and said "Where certain things are concerned we certainly go well together yes" Gabrielle slapped my arm and said "Anyway darling, we must go. Kyle why have you given me this bag, here you go. You ought to stay in touch, I'm going to Milan in a few days but I shall be back soon no doubt" she kissed him on either cheek and he winked, pointed at her and said "Stay in touch babe.. I'll see you soon hopefully. I might send you a message if I hit the town tonight or tomorrow. Try and reply" we walked back onto fifth avenue and I told her "I would love you more if you were to sleep with him behind Oscar's back" she said "Kyle, what a stupid suggestion, Oscar is far superior to him when it comes to looks and what's more - you haven't seen him with his top off. Oh Kyle, Kyle, Kyle" I replied "You are wasting your life away with that man. Why you chose to have a boyfriend I will never know. Surely you aren't contemplating a future with him thus it is an utter waste of time. You're twenty-one and ought to be having fun, with males such as the one we've just spoken to. That said, be sure to take a picture of Oscar next time he's naked in your presence. I'm so intrigued. He is extremely good looking I shall agree with you. I might see if he'll come to the gym with me sometime and watch him in the shower hahah" she exclaimed in horror and said "Kyle don't you dare do such a thing. I know your foul traits and you would not resist and attempt to seduce him and then I would never speak to you again" we were now in Gucci and I said "Gabrielle... You would honestly not understand your brother's impulsive needs-" she retorted "Oh Kyle be quiet. Hands off, end of story. That man in Abercrombie is gorgeous nonetheless..." We shopped endlessly until we could no longer possibly carry any bags. Of course, I had fifteen times the amount Gabrielle was carrying seeing as she only had one hand full and claimed she couldn't carry anymore and so we returned to The Plaza. As we entered my father got out of a chauffeur and said "Gabrielle, Kyle..." he was dressed down in jeans and shirt and said "I'm going to Las Vegas for a few days for business. I just wanted to say bye to you both as you will probably be in Milan by the time I return." Gabrielle hugged and kissed him whilst I merely wished him a safe journey and said goodbye however, he joked "Erm, excuse me you little swine of a boy. Thousands you have probably spent at my expense today and you don't even have the curtesy to give your father a hug and kiss before he leaves" I smiled and said "Yes, quite right" yet as always, much to my dismay, I was engulfed in his arms and kissed repetitively on the face. Gabrielle went to dance for the rest of the afternoon whilst Elliot came round to entertain me followed by a ten mile run around the park with Maddox. My mother text me that afternoon and said Darling, as ludicrous as it may sound. Would you be so kind as to stay here tonight. I simply despise being in this house alone I told her I would do so however I was going out that evening, she replied Oh that's fine, I think I am going out with a couple of the ladies also, I am quite inclined to return to Bijoux in The Meat Packing District. Be sure to leave Maddox in the townhouse with Martha. Martha was the housekeeper, I can imagine the fun Maddox has with her haha.

That night I didn't stay out late and returned to my parent's townhouse, quite drunk, with Elliot. I made a hideous attempt of opening the highly secured front door before finally gained entrance and stumbled up the many flights stairs. I went to inform my mother of my return home and returned to my bedroom for a few hours of fun with Elliot. At around half past two I recall getting an internal phone call from my mother who said "Kyle, is that you banging? What are you doing?" I attempted to disguise my laughter and took advantage of her lack of common sense, telling her I was attempting to locate the box for my shoes in my wardrobe haha. The following day when I left the hotel of another intercourse partner the occupant of a limousine lowered his window and called my name. I didn't know who he was thus I merely waved and continued with the message I was typing whilst awaiting the arrival of my car when he shouted "You sleep with me on consecutive days for a week and then all I receive is a wave?" I laughed and he added "You're Kyle McQuillan, what else did I honestly expect... Get in if you like. We shall take you to where you're going." Primarily I declined and told him I would wait however it was raining and so after a little persuasion I agreed. Once in the car I merely verified the notion that I had flawless taste when it came to males. He was perfection! Wearing a tailored suit, sat with his legs open, his broad figure, dashing smile and chizzled features gave me a great desire to rip the clothes from his body however I resisted. We exchanged small talk when he said "You honestly do not remember our week of mind-blowing passionate sex do you?" correct "You are the only male I have ever slept with and what a lasting memory you gave me..." I laughed and questioned "Was I the best you ever had?" he smirked leaned closer and said "Undoubtedly..." We paused for a moment whilst my mind told me 'do not do it, an utter low class cliché for one to have intercourse in a limousine' yet, as we are all aware, I think with my penis - not my head so I leant in and kissed him. His hands were immediately in my hair and on my body whilst I unbuttoned his shirt and removed his tie, gradually kissing his torso as I went down, removed his belt and... An hour or so later, we were still driving around the city, as instructed, whilst our garments were scattered around the interior of the automobile and we gripped the seats and handles whilst performing various acts upon one another. Once finished I was unable to locate my underwear and had no choice other than to just put on my jeans and leave the car exhausted, sweaty and burnt from the carpet to return to my apartment...`

A couple of days later after nights out in the likes of Kiss & Fly, Pink Elephant, RdV, The Stone Rose Lounge, The Anchor and other various venues my friends and I flew to Milan via jet for Moda Donna. It was an evening flight and due to my fear of flying I encouraged my peers to join me in The Plaza's bar for pre-flight drinks in order to calm my nerves. When on the flight we were having some peculiar conversations, Lee said "Who would you all say was the better looking one out of Gabrielle and Kyle?" there were such things said as "Well they both have amazing physiques..." et cetra however the group decision was 10:2 in that Gabrielle was the better looking sibling. Charming. I then retaliated "Who's better looking out Elliot and his brother?" I immediately said his brother as did the majority of the girls however the males of the group claimed they thought Elliot was. As a result of me making Elliot the subject of such a question he did likewise with me once more and said "This one ought to be rather amusing. Who would you all take preference with regards to a sleeping partner when it came to Kyle, Gabrielle, Camilla and Haz (Harold)" me and Gabrielle were both disgusted to say the least and as I expected and dreaded; all the females and Elliot said they would rather sleep with my father whilst all the males claimed they would rather sleep with my mother, which as usual, provoked such comments as "They must have the most amazing sex." Yes, quite sickening.

Milan fashion week was amazing. I personally attended Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci and Bottega Vanetta in addition to all the social gatherings whilst the likes of Gabrielle and our other friends attended the majority of shows. What's more, one cannot go to Milan and not give credit to the males. It is a factor in its self which implores me to visit and this occasion was like no other. My sex life improved vastly (if at all possible) and I had a steady flow of Italian men in and out of my hotel suite haha. I had sex with four different people on one particular day, disgraceful yet an admirable achievement at the same time haha.

However, it was in Paris where we had a truly splendid time, it is after all the penultimate fashion week. I arrived late due missing our jet as a result of a bad hangover and so flew first class a few hours later. It was easier said than done though of course. I had the usual catastrophe with luggage. As though manoeuvring two trollies full of trunks up to eye level in addition to carrying four holdalls wasn't a task in its self I then had to try to communicate with an imbecile of a woman to explain how I was willing to pay any fee and that I was not remotely inclined to leave any luggage behind. I had every intention of taking all 16 pieces haha. After undergoing stress, frustration and still making no progress with the woman I telephoned the family P.A, Jackie and told her to get me an Italian interpreter on the phone. As this is done fairly frequently for my parents when on business I was transferred within a moment and I placed the person on loudspeaker whilst they spoke some sense into the woman. Finally I obtained a ticket and went to the lounge and paid countless visits to the powder room as a result of my fear. Whilst I waited I received a phone call from the now heavily pregnant Ellie whom had stayed in London whilst the rest of us attended fashion weeks. I had spoken to her fairly frequently during my absence and she said "Kyle I am so sick of being in, bored out of my wretched brains. I am coming to Paris!" I was overjoyed at the prospect and she said "Well I am due in two weeks however I shall be travelling with a mere entourage and I shall be shopping an awful lot. I have news for you all too. I'm on my way to the airport as we speak so I shall be in Paris in a couple of hours or so. I shall telephone you when I get there darling."

When I arrived in Paris I received the treatment I was used to in that someone collected my luggage prior to it going onto the conveyor belt and brought it to me before taking it to my chauffeur(s.) My apartment in Paris was now completely refurbished thus that was where I was residing during fashion week. I sent a message to Gabrielle when I arrived asking where she was and she replied I'm getting ready for dinner with a couple of friends from ballet. Everyone has gone to see the Gareth Pugh show however his models petrify me thus I shall not be attending. Are you here? xx As I had no longing to go and discuss ballet for the evening I turned to my preferred option of how to spend my evening and opened my address book for Paris. C'est magnifique!

The following day when I told my mother of Ellie's choice to attend Paris Fashion Week she immediately became overcome with excitement and said "Oh my, I simply cannot wait to see her. In fact, you ought to throw her a baby shower in your new apartment. It goes without saying that being a heartless male you wouldn't think of such a thing. It would be greatly appreciated and in addition it will give you a chance to show off the refurbishment. I imagine the majority of your friends are in the capital anyway so it shan't be an issue and if there are people absent who she would have a desire to be present then feel free to have Jackie charter a jet in order to get them to Paris. Her daughter will be here shortly - it really must be celebrated dear. See to it. I must go, I have work to do." In one conversation, or rather, a speech on my mother's part - I had been insulted, ordered, then dismissed without speaking a word... Nothing out of the norm I suppose. My immediate thought after hanging up from the phone call was whether or not one could be bothered with the hassle of organising a party however I realised that this was a ludicrous thought as, in reality, I was not going to be doing all that much... I got into my Bentley which was kept in Paris and went to The Ritz which was just a short distance away. When I entered the hotel it was abundant with elderly women wearing chanel, journalists (presumably there to see Anna Wintour) and other fashionable looking people. I went directly to the Concierge and said "Good afternoon, I require your assistance with the planning of a party. I am in need of a party planner whom boasts a good reputation." The man looked a little dumbfounded and said "You do realise it's fashion week-" I said "Yes I am more than fully aware of that, however being in the position you're in I am sure you are able to pull a few strings, so to speak, for loyal customers to this prestigious establishment. My name is Kyle McQuillan..." he didn't say another word and instead typed, what I presumed to be my name, into the computer. After a short pause the man said "Ah yes. The hotel has been anticipating your visit or perhaps a phone call from the heiress, Miss Al Fayed, requesting a room on your behalf. Nevertheless, I shall speak to a few of the most acclaimed party planners in the city and pass your details on." I requested the room number of Camilla (Al-Fayed) and they dialled her room before enlightening me. Camilla is also now pregnant and is due in November. When I saw her I witnessed her perfect bump and a radient mother to be. We sat and talked for a long while about her pregnancy and engagement and then I asked whether she was attending any shows, she replied "I am unsure as of yet. I religiously attend the Chanel show however I am determined to stay out of the public eye. I don't believe a single picture of me pregnant has yet been leaked and I intend on keeping it that way thus I am unsure. Marigay will be noting things which I would undoubtedly admire regardless of my attendance." In addition to owning the Ritz, Camilla's father also owns London department store: Harrods. Marigay is the buyer for the enormous store and is in close contact with all the prestigious designers, hence, Camilla has their garments a considerable amount of time before they enter the shops and receives couture pieces at request. Yes, she quite literally is the envy of my friends and I. A couple of hours after leaving The Ritz whilst making my way to Lunch I received a phone call from a party planner. She asked of the party size, what I had in mind and I told her to come to my apartment later that day to discuss my plans. At around 4 pm I greeted a young, well dressed female in the lobby of my apartment building and took her upstairs. Upon entrance in my foyer I told her how it would be neccessary for someone to coat check in addition to another member of staff to take gifts. Appertisers such as caviar would be taken around the room on silver platters whilst others did likewise with champagne, I told her "I am going to need a rather large, tiered cake thus if you could find an adequade person to carry out such a task that would be marvellous. I'm estimating around 150 people will attend thus take on staff accordingly and inform those in charge of catering of the numbers. What's more, her ultrasound scan has been done in 3D as a video therefore if you are able to create something which can be played on each of the televisions that would be marvellous. I shall compile a list of prospective guests and have my own assistant contact them with an invitation, she will then forward that onto you..."

The following day Ellie, Gabrielle, Kelly and Kayleigh attended Balenciaga followed by Balmain whilst I spent sometime with friends in the city. I met Ellie in her hotel room after the show and, having not seen her in a while, I was astonished at how well (yet large) she looked. From the back you were unable to notice any sign of pregnancy whist from the front, she appeared to just have a perfectly rounded pillow placed in her top. Of course, she still dressed exceptionally well in heels, jeans and a fur coat. I hugged her and asked how she was when she said "Oh marvellous darling. It was excellent being out with the girls again attending shows" I asked who was included in her entourage which she spoke of and she said "All the neccessary people. A General Practitioner, A midwife, Hair and Makeup artists and a personal security man - Sam insisted, he claimed he cannot risk anyone bumping into me at a show when the Paparazzi are utter pandemonium and what's more it means I am not required to carry anything. It is rather annoying though to say the least and not to mention pretentious" Sam, her fiancee, was also in Paris with her. I told her of her baby shower and she immediately hugged me and said "Oh Kyle darling, I'm so touched. When is it?" I replied "Well the date had to be set according to desirable shows which people are going to be attending. The most ideal time was Saturday afternoon as the best show on that particular day is Jean Paul Gaultier which is at 7pm thus it shan't be an issue." The conversation immediately switched to babies, christenings and of her daughter's future upbringing. I non-chalantely attempted to obtain knowledge of the baby's name however I had no such luck when she said "Kyle, I have told you all on numerous occasions. I am not informing you until she is born." That night everyone, with the exception of Ellie, joined our parisian friends and fellow fashion followers on a night out in Paris. As usual I was required for translating things as the majority of my friends could only manage "Bonjour" despite the fact it was evening and the extremely useful "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" which they recite from Lady Marmalade's song. I wasn't drunk, however I wasn't entirely composed either on that night. I would speak in French to some peers and forget to alternate language again when necessary, leaving the likes of Gabrielle stood staring at me blankly whilst I replied to their questions in a language they simply did not comprehend. Elliot on the other hand merely placed his hand on behind and whispered "I adore it when you speak French. It arouses me somewhat." That night I took two people back to my apartment. One of whom outshone the other significantly, both in performance and endowment, hence it was he who lingered the following morning whilst the other left. Neither of the gentlemen acquired my number. Obviously.

The following day the majority of those who were attending shows watched Dior whilst I and a couple of friends went to Vivienne Westwood. My mother arrived in Paris on a flight from a business trip in Tokyo so that she could attend Ellie's baby shower the following day. I collected her from the airport along with her dog (Pretisha) and her assistant who rode with the majority of the luggage in a chauffeur. I asked how she was and of her plans for the evening and she said "Well I hoped you and Gabrielle would join me for dinner somewhere, however I realise it is a little last minute dear" I told her I would go and she said "Oh marvellous. I've missed you darling!" Her phone rang "Hello darling. How are you? ... What are your plans for this evening. Would like to join me and Kyle for dinner? Oh, yes that sounds marvellous, we shall depart once we have eaten. What on earth am I going to wear... Yes you may borrow it...." The conversation became progressively dull as Gabrielle and my mother began to discuss clothes. Once she had hung up the phone she said "Well after dinner your sister and I are going out with Kayleigh and her mother. Your sister is insisting however I do not have a clue what I am going to wear... What an utter conundrum." Prior to getting out of the car she said "I have several meetings this afternoon so I will have someone inform you of our plans for this evening. I shall see you later darling. Good day." Elliot sent me a text message whilst I drove to the shops saying I'm slightly bored and I haven't seen you in a while... Do come round for entertainment purposes I ignored his message for a moment whilst I read another from Lee saying I'm craving your expertise... Come round sexual! The combination of the two messages caused my ego to expand (if at all possible) and I said to myself aloud "I am so good!" I decided I would go and see Lee primerily followed by Elliot... They were both in the same hotel thus it was an ideal arrangement. Although I don't get all that much in return from Lee, it is somewhat self satisfying - an extremely attractive well endowed straight stud. Who could decline? Hence why Elliot comes in afterwards...

Post intercourse with Elliot we lay, exhausted, side by side and he said "Would you like to go out to dinner one night... You and I?" I screwed up my face and stared at him and said "Why?" he aduibly exhaled then said "You honestly do not have a single hint of emotion in your robotic self do you" I replied "Well observed, imbecile" and he said "If you weren't so good in bed I don't think I would be friends with you" "Well feel free to attempt to find an alternative however I can assure you you will not come across who boasts my talent let alone emotion too. What's more, it goes with saying that your ability in bed is the only likeable quality I am able to see in you my friend" for which comment I received a punch in the chest. Charming. That evening I was collect by my mother and sister from my apartment and taken to Le Pre Catelan. Once in the restaurant I could see that my mother was wearing a dress Gabrielle looked at in New York by Marchesa, it was black with long bell sleeves with ruffle detailing and a jewel embellished waist, various diamonds were dripping from her along with a Chanel clutch and a pair of platform wedges from Charlotte Olympia. They were ridiculous. How she walked in them I will never know (I searched for them just so you can see how ludicrous they were http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/52803); her hair was up and her makeup flawless. Gabrielle wore an all over long sleeved beaded dress (which had holes all over) by Julien Macdonald, a pair of black suede low calf length boots from Gucci and a Lanvin clutch, she too had her hair up and boasted bright red lips. I now looked like the underprivileged third person in my Armani Collezioni pants and shirt. The three of us had a lovely meal and drank a considerable amount of €700 wine haha. As we left to get another car my mother said "Gabrielle, I don't look like your mother do I?" Gabrielle said "People always say we look alike, why?" she replied "No! I mean, I don't look old and people aren't going to see me and immediately know that I am your mother" Gabrielle said "Oh no! Of course not, you're beautiful mum!" and went over and hugged her whilst walking to the car haha. When I arrived at my apartment I read through my various text messages, one of which was from Lee saying Camilla and Gabrielle are going for a night out together... I shall certainly be following in pursuit of Kyle's mother. Haz shan't be present either... Marvellous! I immediately replied telling him that I was going out with him if he was going. He simply could not be trusted! A few hours later I found myself in the same nightclub as my mother and sister with Lee whilst my mother approached us. She proceeded directly to Lee and said "Hello dear, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while" she kissed him on either cheek and he did likewise, placing his hands on her behind as he did so - my mother slapped them away before I did... Lee, myself and our other male friends stood a fair distance away from my mother, Gabrielle, Kayleigh and her mother and I seemed to be the only man in the room who was not staring in their direction. So very ostentatious haha. As the night drew to a close I returned from the toilet to find my friends and family in a seated vip area where my mother had her feet on Lee's lap, allowing him to massage them. I almost vomited in my mouth however my mother said "Our car shall be here ladies. Oh my goodness, these shoes! Kyle darling, please would you be the loving son I brought you up to be and take me to the car" she held her shoes in her hand, placed her arm around my neck and jumped up. Whilst I carried her and waited for a couple of minutes with her in my arms she just sat comfortably and made a couple of phone calls haha.

The following day I woke fairly early as I had set my alarm to begin preparation for Ellie's baby shower. The lady who was in charge of organising the event telephoned me to say that she was on her way to my apartment thus I quickly showered and put on a tracksuit in time for her arrival. When she entered she immediately informed me of the downstairs lobby which was currently overflowing with wrapped parcels, fedex boxes and flowers. I presumed it was due to me and went downstairs. As she had described there was in fact piles upon piles of things, all addressed to Ellie at my address. The doormen and I made several trips to my apartment where we recreated the pile in my foyer. From that moment onwards my door was permanently open as there was a now a steady flow of deliveries in addition to catering staff (who were all extremely attractive!) cases of from Dom Perignon were arriving as was food. It was then that I realised I hadn't purchased anything as a gift from myself thus I phoned my mother in a panic who said "Kyle, do you think I'm a fool. I was more than aware that you weren't going to remember to do such a thing, your sister has just woke up next to me and echoed what you said. Not to worry, I have purchased something. I'm about to get in the shower and then Gabrielle and I shall make our way to your apartment" It was now half past ten, I had recieved a message from Jackie thirty minutes earlier confirming the arrival of the jet from London thus I imagined people would begin arriving fairly soon. I went into my bedroom to change and put on a grey cashmere v-neck jumper from Burberry with a pair of pants from Gucci and a black check snood also from Burberry. Kelly was the first to arrive wearing a grey knitted dress from Phillip Lim with tights and Laboutin shoes. Gabrielle then arrived wearing a pair of leather pants from Balmain, a plain white top and a short tailored shoulder padded jacket from Julien Macdonald which had, what appeared to be, pieces of glass/mirror sticking out of the shoulders along with various jewels, my mother also arrived with her wearing a Red and Black stripe Alexander McQueen top with a pair of £3,000 python thigh high boots and a black Burberry handbag. Following that the arrivals became more frequent and the catering staff began to circulate with canapés, caviar and champagne. Ellie finally arrived looking divine in a red dress which hugged her bump and was taken back by the amount of gifts she had been purchased. Once everyone had talked for a while Ellie tapped a spoon on her champagne flute and made a short speech thanking everyone and then said "and now for my news. After much thought and consideration with regards to the matter Sam and I have come to a decision. Along with the help of Harold, Camilla and their dedicated staff we have found a house in which we have a great longing to bring up our daughter" I had hoped she was going to tell us the name, this was quite the contrast, I dreaded this news somewhat "that home will be in Greenwich, Connecticut..." There was a pause and nobody spoke then Gabrielle began to cry and there was a short murmur of laughter "However it is only a short distance to New York where we are looking into purchasing an apartment thus, all is not lost, I shall still be joining you on nights out. Not only this but the amazing home has fourteen bedrooms and over thirty acres of land so you are more than welcome to come and stay." Tears filled her eyes at this point and she said "I would simply love to stay near you all but I'm a mother almost and I have to put my daughter first, a city such as London or New York might be good for countless amazing nights an envious social life yet it is not ideal for bringing up a child. In this home we can have horses and dogs and we're near to some of the best schools. Can I just thank mine and Sam's parents for purchasing this amazing home for us. Now, no more tears, I spent forever having my makeup done. Let's open the gifts and can I just have the platter of caviar please. I am positively starving." She opened what seemed like hundreds of presents consisting of the payment of an LED ceiling for the child's room to help it sleep; what seemed like the entire Baby Dior and Ralph Lauren's girls collection from Kayleigh's family, Elliot and his parents purchased her a £9,000 vintage pram, she got silver feeding cutlery and diamond encrusted charms relating to children from Tiffany &co, teddies, designer changing mats, fur blankets, custom made cots, a pre-paid interior designer to decorate their nursery among other eccentric gifts. When she had finished my mother then said "Darling, your gift from Harold myself and the children is not here however I am able to show it to you as it stands in your new home. I knew that you would be receiving countless gifts for your daughter thus, as I was aware of your house purchase, we have purchased you something which will be of benefit to you all as a family in the times to come as a housewarming gift too" she notioned to a man who was stood with a remote for the television and we all turned to see the image of a helicopter behind which was an enormous mansion/palace which, we all gathered was Ellie and Sam's new home. Ellie gasped and said "Camilla I cannot accept this!" My mother replied "Of course you can dear. Harold and I did likewise when Kyle was a child and we had our butler take flying lessons thus it was he who flew us. It proved to be extremely beneficial!"

The rest of the time in Paris was excellent. Shows watched included: Karl Largerfeld, Emanuel Ungaro, Giambattista Valli, Louis Vuitton and of course the Chanel show which was unbelievably spectacular. On the 8th October whilst we were all in the airport awaiting our jet home Ellie was miserable as sin. I asked "What on earth is wrong?" whilst Sam attempted to comfort her, walking on egg shells as he did so, she replied "My wretched back is in agony" I said "Well Ellie you have flown a General Practitioner out with you, why don't you seek his diagnosis?" She snapped "I don't want to be a hypo-chondriac Kyle... It's back ache!" We continued to the jet and all took our seats on board. The jet we had chartered was extremely large and as Ellie's pain was showing no signs of subsiding Sam took out his phone and said "The doctor is still waiting for his flight in the airport. I'm afraid ours is going to have to get delayed, we need to see him" Ellie protested and he said "This is not for discussion" all of a sudden she hurled over and panted whilst shouting "Oooo" everyone looked at her and shouted "What?!" and she bellowed "I'm having fucking contractions! I'm in labour!" Gabrielle screamed with joy and jumped to her feet then Ellie shouted "Get me off this jet! I am not giving birth to my daughter on a plane!" Everyone seemed to take out their phones and dial numbers at that point, Sam was dialling the midwife and doctor, Lee was telling the staff to unload the luggage again, Kayleigh was ordering cars whilst I chartered a helicopter. We all made our way back into the terminal where we were greeted by a frantic midwife and GP and Kelly ran over to a woman insisting that she acquired a buggy to take her to the appropriate place. Within a couple of minutes one arrived and I told Sam the confirmation of his helicopter and where it awaited him. The four of them got onto the buggy and Sam told him where to go then Ellie shouted "KYLE! He can't speak English!" My heart was pounding and I told the man where to go and to do so quickly and carefully.

The rest of us eagerly made our way back through the airport to the cars which would be waiting for us. Everything is such a blur, I was having an extreme adrenaline rush. The journey to the centre of Paris was around thirty minutes and as we neared the hospital they had gone to Ellie phoned to say "They have sent me home to come back when the contractions are more frequent. I am coming to your apartment and we are all going to sit and you shall devote yourselves to distracting me." We all sat in our apartment and watched films et cetra and Ellie filled herself with food whilst every twenty minutes she would cross her legs in pain. Both sets of parents were currently on jets back to Paris despite only having been in London/The Hamptons for two days. The Midwife and GP were doing frequent tests, checking how dilated she was, her blood pressure et cetra... At around six o'clock she had another contraction which lasted quite a while and then she said "This is so sore. I think I want to push" Sam said "What?! You either do or you don't, shall we leave?" she said "I don't know Sam! What the hell am I, the midwife?! Where is she?" she was now panting somewhat and the midwife ran in and said "Yes.. We need to leave. Quick." We all walked with her through my apartment, Gabrielle scurrying right behind her in her heels when her water broke all over my marble floor, causing Gabrielle to slip and land in it on her behind. I heard the splash followed by a thud and we all turned to see her sat there, looking completely horrified and then she began to scream and shouted "That is repulsive! Baby juice all over me!! Kyle! Help!" She was sat rigid not moving whilst everyone was in a fit of hysterics, Ellie was now paying no attention to the fact that her baby was coming and was hurled over in a fat of laughter rather than pain. Then came another contraction and she let out another wail and said "I'm going to have to go... This baby is surely about to drop out of my vagina any moment now.." As they walked out of the door Sam shouted "We don't have a car" I bellowed "I'll drive you" and Ellie added "Yes, yes do! We'll get there faster that way. Quick Kyle!" We entered the lift and Sam telephoned both sets of parents to update them and then we made our way to the car. Of course this was extremely slow so I said "Ellie, I'm carrying you" she said "I'm not disabled, I'm pregnant!" I replied "I am aware of that but unless you want to give birth in my apartment lobby then I suggest you permit me to get you to the car quicker" she said "Very well then.. Now hurry up!" I placed her in the front seat whilst Sam, the midwife and the doctor got into the back." I have driven fast through city centres in the past however this was a whole new level. I almost killed approximately three people in the process and took all the shortcuts I knew in order to get there quickly. Ellie had her feet on the dashboard, panting whilst we drove there and would occasionally start laughing about Gabrielle's fall before another contraction and then all humour evaporated. We arrived at the hospital in record time and the four of them got out and went inside. I returned to my apartment and eagerly awaited news.

When I entered there was a shopping bag from Dolce & Gabbana in the foyer, I peered inside to see Gabrielle's all in one outfit from Diane Von Furstenberg and a couple of towels.I joined the others in the drawing room and questioned the bags presence and Gabrielle (who was now wearing my Dolce & Gabbana tracksuit) told me it was to be disposed of. We sat, anxiously waiting for what seemed like forever, however was in reality a mere two hours when Ellie and Sam walked in holding their daughter, they sat on the suite and said "Say hello to Ava Pari..." Gabrielle burst into tears followed by Kayleigh. Ellie went on to say "Pari being her middle name, i.e. Paris how the french say it, I'm not having her called Paris, hence it shall be prevented with the lack of an 's.'" We all sat around and admired the adorable new-born Ava for a few minutes without speaking when Ellie's mother and father ran in and said "Darling there you are!" After a while Ellie's parents questioned what her plans were, she replied "Well I have no intentions of taking her on a plane so I am staying in Paris. I will therefore require a suite somewhere, Sam's parents ought to be here either tonight or tomorrow morning won't they darling?" he told her they would probably arrive in the middle of the night and she said "Well in that case, I'm going to go to a hotel and have an early night, I'm exhausted and then we can all spend the day together tomorrow. I still have the pram and cot here as they were waiting to be shipped elsewhere thus we can put those to use. Mother can you ring The Crillon please" I said "Ellie, you can stay here. I think we'll all return to London and allow you to spend some time with your family. There isn't any food other than caviar and ice cream and nothing to drink other than protein shakes, energy drinks and alcohol I'm afraid" Ellie's father said "I can have an assistant deal with that" I said "Very well then, you may reside here. Your cot and pram in addition to baby clothes are all here too so it is ideal." She finally agreed and we congratulated both her and Sam before kissing them goodbye. Ellie's parents thanked us all for our support and we left once more for the airport.

Part way through the journey Gabrielle began crying once more and then again as we made our way through London to my house where she was staying. We left all of our luggage downstairs and went straight upstairs to get into bed. It had been weeks since I was home! As I had expected, Gabrielle climbed into bed with me a mere five minutes after being in her own room in my house... She's a special child. haha. One day after having been to a males apartment to 'catch up' I sent a message to my mother and father saying I'm currently shopping and I've come across a divine fur coat in Alexander McQueen. I thought I would be so kind as to ask permission prior to purchasing it x I was of course lying, I was merely en route to Alexander McQueen. My Father replied with a blunt No. To which I said Dad! If this was Gabrielle you wouldn't do as much as hesitate, she's had countless pieces of couture this year! Please... However my mother replied saying Yes. Don't tell your father though x I replied telling her I loved her and told my father it no longer mattered. Thankfully when I arrived at Alexander McQueen they had the garment which I had seen in GQ magazine in the store; I tried it on, immediately fell in love and purchased it. Twelve thousand pounds later I was taking my self to Elliot's apartment to show off my new purchase, we did however digress upon my arrival haha.

When Halloween arrived I had recieved various invitations and had decided I would attend a friend's party in Surrey when, the day before, Lee sent me a text message saying Good day my friends. I shall be hosting a halloween party to which all of London's beautiful socialites will be attending. The club is closed from the public and the after party shall be hosted in my Penthouse. Non-acceptance of the invite is forbidden, especially when the reason behind which is for another event. The theme: The Playboy Mansion. Men, you're Hugh... Girls, go wild... Please! He attached the contact details for the people whom were managing the guestlist who I immediately emailed informing them of my choice to attend when the front door opened and Lee walked into the kitchen "Why is it that everyone has a key for my house?" he just looked at me and said "I don't know nor do I care. May I have oral sex?" his phone rang and he answered before I had chance to reply. I sat and continued opening various invites whilst he spoke on the phone and then said "It was Gabrielle... I quote 'Lee why do you insist upon having such a low class theme whereby the majority of girls are going to be half naked?' she is quite dense. The answer lies in the question... Anyway, let's get on with what I came here for. Do you have any pornographic material just to keep me going, it's not the same as doing it with a female" I exclaimed "No I most certainly do not you repulsive specimen. What do you think I am, a fifteen year old boy? I do not watch porn!" he laughed and said "You sounded so much like your mother then. I'll just think of her it's fine" I punched him and then remembered "Oh, how highly embarrassing. I have a video which me and Kelly made in order to improve our performance - see where our mistakes were et cetra" he said "Oh I understand. I shall put that on."

When Halloween came I waited outside my parent's house in a car for Gabrielle wearing a pair of silk boxer shorts and a silk robe (I wasn't going to wear pyjamas - I wanted to attract people with my body haha.) We arrived at Lee's apartment where a few of us were meeting beforehand and entered to a resounding "Ohh, Gabrielle!" I had no idea what they were talking about when I realised that Gabrielle's hair was up and she was wearing a Burberry mac she said "Oh, be quiet. I had to do this otherwise my father wouldn't allow me to leave the house" at which moment she untied her coat and removed it whilst removing the clip from her hair and letting it fall down her back. She was now wearing a leather corset along with lingerie, stockings, suspenders, a pair of leather knuckle gloves and Gucci heels - Lee's jaw dropped and Kelly said "That corset is actually quite nice Gabrielle.. Where is it from?" she said "Oh, well I had to incorporate some class into this outfit somehow.. It cost me eight hundred pounds in YSL. Ugh, I feel like a prostitute. Lee please try and hide your erection darling" everyone's eyes moved to Lee's crotch he just stared at us and said "What? I am a straight male. This girl is undeniably good looking and wearing highly provocative garments. One cannot be questioned or criticised. Now, let us indulge in these spirits which arrived this morning." We all drank what we were given and then Lee insisted upon pouring a repulsive liquid which boasted a delightful acid resemblance down our throats. Of course, in the ten minutes we had sat there, Gabrielle had managed to get drunk and stumbled her way into the car then sang Cheryl Cole's fight for this love all the way there (much better than she herself does I might add.)

Upon our entrance it was highly amusing! All the men were wearing silk garments whilst all of the females were displaying their best assets, some in thigh high boots, others even donned a tail and ears. I went directly to the bar and stood next to a couple of friends who currently had a line of beverages and said "It is neccessary that I get excessively intoxicated in order to let my hair down with regards to this wretched outfit which is typical of Lee. Such an utter Playboy!" The night became an increasing blur and whilst dancing I threw my robe somewhere and never came accross it again; thus, I was walking around the club wearing nothing other than a pair of silk boxershorts, of course - it worked in my favour. There were both males and females, both straight and homosexual rubbing their hands all over my torso, a couple of people slipped their hands down my shorts too haha. At one point, whilst I was getting caressed someone asked "What's going on over there? Heaven forbid there's a fight for god's sake" I followed his eyes and saw a flick of blond hair followed by a leg fly in the air and said "Oh.. It's my sister, dancing... Again." Another epic moment of the evening was a game which Lee insisted we played, he ordered "Kyle lie on your back on this table" being quite drunk now I did so without question and then he added "Kelly, come here" as he placed shot glasses down the centre of my torso, starting at my lower abs/pubic bone and finishing at my chest. Kelly was to straddle me and drink the shots using only her mouth and crawl her way up me - finishing with a kiss. Anything that spilt she had to lick off... My my, we really were lowering the tone that evening. We did so excellently then before I had chance to get up James was straddling me and the glasses were refilled. My immediate thoughts were of dread - James being someone who I often opt to sleep with due to his athletic physique I closed my eyes and tried not to look at him too much. The first was fine however as he made his way to the second I could feel his breath on my stomach and as a result I had to take a deep breath in order to compose... Causing two of the drinks to spill. I then felt his tongue making its way across my abdominals and all over my chest. People were cheering so I attempted to focus myself on them as opposed to what was happening and then he was on top of me and his tongue was in my mouth. I forgot where I was for a moment and had to stop myself haha. I got up after that little episode and threw Lee onto the table. Kelly placed shot glasses on him and I winked and mouthed "Payback." I purposely spilt the first glass which was balancing on his lower abs and had to pull his underwear down a little so that I could lick the liquid from him. He was biting his lip and his penis gradually grew. I continued to drink the shots and sat on his crotch, put my hands either side of his head and kissed him for a while longer than necessary haha.

When those who were still standing returned to Lee's penthouse we continued the pandemonium. Gabrielle was walking along the edges of furniture singing 'Macavity's a mystery cat' for some unknown reason from Cats the musical doing jazz hands as she did so. It was at that moment that I realised I had lost my phone. I asked Gabrielle whether it was in her bag however she was far to engrossed in her performance to hear me thus I took it upon myself to look. It wasn't. I merely sent an e-mail to Jackie from Gabrielle's phone informing her and continued socialising with my peers. There are several gaps from that moment onwards. Oscar appeared at some ridiculous hour and said "Gabrielle what are you wearing?" she stood and said "Do you not think this outfit is arousing even if it is somewhat disgusting" he said "Of course you look sexy - I want you to keep it all for me though" they began kissing one another and I said "Erm.. Hands Oscar." I slept with four people that evening... At once. It was exceptionally fun and pleasing from what I recall. I did however wake naked in the bath the following morning which is ever so slightly worrying. How I got there I will never know...

Speak soon,