A marvellous Birthday followed by trauma in London...

I do apologise for my absence however I have been rather busy. When I last wrote I was flying to New York in order to attend The Costume Institute Gala. None of my peers or I had outfits for the event thus that was our main priority upon arrival. Elliot and I had rather a lot of success in this field however the girls on the other hand were quite the opposite. Kelly purchased various outfits, none of which she was too sure about wearing to the Gala whilst Gabrielle returned with nothing other than a foul mood and stress. That evening she browsed various internet sites in search of something however found nothing she was particularly fond of. Then, although it was eleven o'clock in the evening she telephoned my mother (who had also just arrived in New York) and asked her to forward her the number of a trustworthy assistant in England. My mother did so and Gabrielle ignored all of her questions as to why she wanted it and phoned the girl. It being four o'clock in the morning there, she said "I do apologise for waking you however I shall ensure it is made up to you some way or another. It's Gabrielle, Camilla and Harold's daughter who you work for." I imagine the girl sat bolt upright as my parents employees often did when we told them who we were, Gabrielle then went on to ask if she could drive. Negative. Nevertheless, Gabrielle asked her address and told her she would ring her back, she then turned to me and said "Kyle you are going to have to assist me with getting myself out of this sheer trauma! Ring the concierge at your hotel and have him collect house keys from your house and give them to a driver who shall go and collect this girl and take her to mother and father's house. Meanwhile I shall book a jet, or rather, Jackie will." I reluctantly did so and of course, my wish was the hotel's command. The poor girl phoned Gabrielle when she had arrived at her destination and Gabrielle directed her to her bedroom, then to her wardrobe. The girl was now on loudspeaker and told her she was in the wardrobe, Gabrielle asked " Is all of the glass frosted?" The girl told her it was and Gabrielle told her how to turn it off to reveal all of the clothes and jewellery which lay behind glass (when frosted the wardrobe doors etc are all locked - it's neccessary that there is security for her garments haha.) Gabrielle went on "Now, the left hand side is all day wear so ignore that and go over to the right. Then go to the wardrobes which have dresses on mannequins above the racks of clothes. These are couture. I need you to describe them to me..." 

After a rather lengthy phone call Gabrielle had told the girl to select a piece of Valentino Couture from Spring 2005 and a piece from 2004 along with a pieces from Chanel and Armani Prive of this year. She then said "There ought to be some garment bags from Chanel etc. in the staff bedroom" she then directed her to there and then said "Now the car which is still waiting for you outside will be taking you straight to Heathrow. I suggest you go back into my wardrobe and go to the wall which is immediately on your right when you walk in. This is all lounge wear. Feel free to take a Juicy Couture tracksuit or something, I believe she selected one, then Gabrielle asked what size she was and upon receiving an answer she said "Ah, well I am a four thus I doubt my jeans will fit... I know, go over to the coats section, there are two - daytime and evening, I suggest daytime. There should be several Burberry trenches in there. Take a black one. Then go over to the suede island in the middle of the room and open the top drawer and take a pair of plain black tights. Now, depending on your bra size, you may take either just a bra, or just knickers, or alternatively if you are the same size if you onto the opposite side they are all matching sets." Minor pause then Gabrielle went on "Ok I imagine you're having a little difficulty carrying all of that. Leave it on the floor and walk towards the glass doors at the back of the room which have the silhouette of a catwalk model on them. Once in there the girl replied "The glass is all frosted again..." Gabrielle, once more told her how to unfrost the glass and when she had done so she gasped. I must admit, it is quite understandable why. This is more or less exactly the same as the previous room with separate glass wardrobes etc however this room is all accessories and shoes with an exact same black suede island also with a glass top, underneath which various items of jewellery lie which inevitably catch the light from the chandelier above. Gabrielle directed her to where her luggage is kept and made her get a holdall, small makeup case and a jewellery box. She told her which items of jewellery she wanted, all of which was put into the jewellery box and then said "Now open the set of middle drawers on the left hand side of the island and select a pair of sunglasses you like." There was a slight pause "Now, open the drawer adjacent to it and take a case which matches the brand. Now walk towards the far wall and pick a pair of heels, boots or booties you like. Laboutin is probably a good choice." Gabrielle told her to go and put all of the stuff in the holdall and then go into the bathroom and get some makeup remover and various pieces of makeup and put them into the small makeup case and then into the holdall also. Gabrielle then said "Now go and get the dresses which are in the garment cases and take your holdall along with them and the jewellery box to the car. Guard them with your life. None of those dresses cost less than forty thousand pounds! Prior to landing in New York redo your makeup with the things you just got and then change from the Juicy Couture tracksuit into the trench along with tights and heels and put the sunglasses on. I will arrange for there to be a car to collect you upon arrival and bring you to where I am. Hence the outfit, I have no idea where I'll be and cannot run the risk of you not getting in or something absurd like that. Thank you ever so much for your co-operation. I shall ensure this is made up to you. I shall see you when you get here. Your jet leaves in two hours." The girl said "Jet?" Gabrielle replied "Yes darling. You shall be travelling privately. It's much quicker, plus I could not risk putting those dresses with the rest of the luggage!"

On Monday morning - the morning of the Gala Gabrielle was driving me insane. Jackie was preoccupied ensuring the hairdresser and makeup artist would be at the suite whilst Gabrielle went jewellery and shoe shopping. About two hours after leaving my apartment at some ridiculously early hour she returned with a vast accumulation of bags from Chanel, YSL, Prada and Tiffany's. She was wearing a modified black Alexander McQueen jumpsuit with a black and silver crystal embellished military jacket from Balmain, sunglasses and of course, heels. She charged through the door and said "As you can most probably tell, I didn't get far.. I haven't even been to Gucci and Louis Vuitton yet. Kyle, please come with me.." I groaned and asked why and she said "Because that way we can carry more bags. I must insist on you getting changed though. I'm not going shopping with you in a tracksuit." I reluctantly went and changed from my Dolce & Gabbana tracksuit into a pair of Balmain jeans, a plain white t-shirt, a black military jacket from John Varvatos (just to please Gabrielle so that we match) and a pair of vintage military boots from Gucci. 

As you can imagine we went into every namable designer on fifth in search of something for Gabrielle, along the way the pair of us were inevitably picking up things which had no relevance to the task in hand. Once the entirety of fifth avenue's good designers had been checked off the list I phoned the Plaza and we went to The Meatpacking District. We left the some twenty shopping bags in the chauffeured car as they were becoming a somewhat hindrance. After not much success there we phoned the Plaza yet again and went back via Madison where Gabrielle and I were dropped to continue shopping. Again, we were distracted by the array of divine clothes and I was even more so in Tom Ford where I decided on a complete outfit change for that evening. My suit from Dior which I had opted to wear was nothing in comparison to what I found. I immediately telephoned the Plaza and had the concierge get me an urgent appointment with a tailor. Just as we were paying to leave a girl entered the shop and Gabrielle and I both looked her up and down at what she was wearing, it was then that she approached us: "Hello, I hope you don't mind however I got in touch with The Plaza where I understand you're currently residing and they told me that a chauffeur had just dropped you near hear so I came to find you as soon as I could. I'm Sophie..." Gabrielle had a blank expression on her face "Your mother's assistant." There was a slight pause then Gabrielle said "Ohhh.. Hello there, how was your flight?" she replied "Very goo-" however Gabrielle was anxious and said "Excellent. I'm glad to hear it! Where are the dresses?" The girl replied "In the car" to which Gabrielle said "Let's go back to The Plaza. Kyle." I followed and sat with them in the car which was waiting for Sophie outside. On the journey Gabrielle gave her her number, my number, Jackie's number and then asked "If you were in England currently, what would you be doing for the next couple of days?" She replied "Working and otherwise-" Gabrielle said "Excellent. For the next couple of days, or today at least, you shall be working however as my assistant as opposed to that pointless work my mother assigns you. I shall see to it that you are paid accordingly and there is someone else to do the work for you. In fact, I have no idea how to do that... Kyle, what shall I do?" I shrugged and said ".. Email Jackie?" Part way through the journey the Plaza telephoned and said that a tailor was willing to tailor my suit. I told them I would get my measurements from London and leave the suit with them. I then told Sophie to ring the tailors I most frequently use in London and have them tell her my measurements. Meanwhile Gabrielle was on the phone to my mother saying "I need you to come to my apartment... Now... Mother I'm sure it can wait... I do not care! Send somebody else, I need you! ... Ok, see you in a couple of minutes." Does brat spring to mind at all?

When we arrived at the hotel Sophie got her holdall from the boot and then asked "Would you like me to bring your bags in?" Gabrielle laughed a little and said "No dear. Do be serious. Put yours down too" she then handed the bellboy some money and continued walking. Once in my apartment Gabrielle said "You look awfully nice in my clothes Sophie haha" she replied "I do believe it's the most on trend I've ever felt and these shoes are unbelievably painful however they are Laboutin so I am willing to suffer" Gabrielle laughed and said "They're only four and a half inches aren't they? These are five and a half darling... That said I am able to walk around on my toes for hours so you ought to be given lieniency I suppose." The bags then arrived as did my mother. Upon her entrance she noticed Sophie and said "Oh hello. Without sounding rude, what are you doing here?" My father came in behind my mother and Gabrielle said "I sent her over with my dresses" to which my father said "You chartered a jet and took a member of staff out of work so you could have a dress?" she snapped "Yes father I did" she merely smiled and my father had no reply haha. Gabrielle phoned reception and they gave Sophie a room so that she could go and freshen up seeing as she had been woke at some ridiculous hour and then endured a night time flight here and then went and tried on one of the dresses which she had had Sophie fly over. My mother meanwhile tried on all of the new shoes which Gabrielle had just purchased and when Gabrielle came out she said "I'm wearing these.. Oh that's divine. Who's it by?" It was a Valentino couture gown from 2005 which Gabrielle had never worn or taken the time to get altered. Therefore it had been hanging in her wardrobe for the past 4 years. After staring in the mirror for a while Gabrielle went and tried on the next one. She came out with it undone at the back and said "Dad, can you fasten this?" Gabrielle audibly inhaled whilst he did so and then turned around. Granted she looked gorgeous but it was evident from the expression on her face and the grip she had on the doorframe that she was unable to breathe properly. What's more, the dress only just managed to cover her nipples whilst the rest of her breasts spilled out over the top. My mother said "Oh that is gorgeous too! You've worn that before have you not?" she replied "Yes mother to my sixteenth birthday party. Christ." she paused for breath "What does it look like? I am prepared to hold my breath all evening if it means I look nice" My father butted in and said "Gabrielle you are not going out like that" she looked at him like he had just told her that he would be cancelling her credit card and she would never again shop and she said "Pardon?" he replied "You will not leave this room with your breasts like that. I forbid you from doing so." She replied "Oh do be quiet" he shot back "No Gabrielle. You are not wearing that dress now go and take it off." Gabrielle looked at my mother and stamped her foot and said "Mum!" She turned to my father and said " I highly doubt she would leave the house with her breasts like that Harold. She would obviously strap them down." My father stood his ground and Gabrielle went and removed the dress. When she next came out wearing Chanel couture from this summer. My mother, who was now on her fifth pair of shoes, said "That one! You simply must. My my, money well spent I do say!" I asked "How much exactly?" My mother just said "Kyle that is irrelevant." I asked "Forty thousand" she shook her head "thirty thousand?" again, she shook her head "Fifty?" she replied "Let's just say it was more than fifty, ok..." I looked at my Dad and moaned "I could have a car for double that much!" he said "Yes Kyle I know and you have cars" I replied "Yes and Gabrielle also has a lot more dresses. She has four here alone plus wardrobes full of couture, whilst I have 5 cars.. That is absurd!" Gabrielle came out wearing an Armani Prive gown and said "What are you complaining about now Kyle?" I replied "The fact that you have hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of dresses and I only have 5 cars!" she replied "Well we established that I was the favourite a long time ago darling.." My mother said "You are not, we love you both the same now be quiet the pair of you." I protested "These dresses will only be worn once by Gabrielle! I would use a car rather frequently!" My father replied "Oh with all the time you spend in London you mean?" My mother then said "And these dresses can be passed on, Gabrielle has some of mine from when I was younger. That is the beauty of couture, despite being of the best quality and being created exclusively for you by the designer they can be worn forever. Gabrielle I think the Chanel and I am having these shoes" Gabrielle said "No! I have only just purchased them..." My mother replied "I purchased them, you handed over the card dear" she replied "Oh motherrrr..." My dad then asked "Gabrielle what happened to your job may I ask?" She put her hand over her mouth without saying a word then said "... I forgot!" The room was silent. My mother and father looked at each other and then Gabrielle dropped her hand and said "Oh well. I don't want to work anyway." Simultaneuously my mother and father said "Gabrielle!" Jackie walked in at that point, blackberry in hand as usual with a rather large bag and portfolio under her arm. Gabrielle went to take her dress off again and Jackie shouted "Oh Gabrielle, I have good news" Gabrielle came charging out shouting "What? What?" Wearing none other than a black corset and knickers. Jackie replied "You will be dancing with the choreographer from the new Fame film this week, as requested!" Gabrielle screamed and ran over and hugged her and then lunged her way back to the bedroom shouting "thank you Jackson!" to put on some clothes. 

The gala was absolutely amazing! Everyone looked divine. It was abundant with friends and friends of friends. Gabrielle was ecstatic because Anna Wintour had opted for Chanel Couture like herself. Peculiar thing to get excited about I know. The following morning my mother phoned me to ask whether I would go running with her, Gabrielle moaned at the fact that she had not been asked to which my mother said "I'm not going with Gabrielle, she just runs away. Tell her she can with her father." With that I put on a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and some sunglasses and walked the short distance to The Pierre with Gabrielle to get my parents. When we entered the lobby they both walked towards us, my father wearing much the same as me and my mother much the same as Gabrielle, lycra shorts, vest tops and sunglasses. Gabrielle asked my father if they could go fast and my mother asked that I stayed at her pace, my father and I both agreed to our requests and we set off in different directions. Gabrielle and my father were to do the full 6 mile loop whilst I jogged to the resevoir track with my mother a couple of times before returning. As we made our way back to The Pierre we saw Gabrielle approaching with her long blonde hair tied up and her breasts tightly secured in her sports bra, my mother waved at her but she was oblivious and carried on sprinting away. A few minutes later my father came past us going at a much slower slower speed than Gabrielle. I immediately erupted in laughter and my mother said "That's why I wouldn't go with her... How far have you gone?" My father, who seemed a little short breathed, looked on his ipod to see that he had gone a mere 8 miles - my mother and I had just passed six so I went and caught up with Gabrielle and left my father and mother together. With the workout I had just had with my mother not pushing me to my limits at all I strapped my ipod to my arm, turned up the volume and sprinted until I found Gabrielle. When I finally did she asked whether I wanted a drink, I agreed and she pulled a ten dollar note out of her bra and purchased two drinks from a stall. Whilst I drank mine Gabrielle propped her leg up on a railing and slid her way down until she was in splits, remained there for a while then said "Ready?" I agreed and she asked how far I had gone to which I replied "9" she tutted and said "And you're that tired? I'm on 11! If you wish to remain with me we shall be sprinting the final mile, otherwise, I shall see you at The Plaza" I told her I would stay with her and we set off once again. Towards the end it turned into a bit of a race haha. I was ahead at one point and stopped to tighten my lace (which I had done in record time haha) and as I came back up to standing I felt slight pressure on each of my shoulders followed by a "Woo" and when I looked forward Gabrielle was landing in front of me and carrying on running. Yes she had just straddled over the top of me haha. 

That evening Gabrielle and I joined my mother and father in watching The Phantom of The Opera on Broadway and the following evening (after a long day of pleasure with Chase) Gabrielle and I met with Sienna and Marissa Miller at Adour Alain Ducasse to celebrate Sienna's new role upcoming role on Broadway. After a lovely meal we went to Tenjune where we met with friends and I met someone who later shared my bed with me haha - no changes there. 

On Wednesday when I woke up and evicted the man from my apartment I found Gabrielle sat in the living room with a man who didn't even remotely resemble the type of person she would sleep with. I said hello and went to order room service, she said "Kyle this is Christopher. You may have met before, I met him when I was at The Royal and he wanted to take me from there and have me for his own company if you recall.." I didn't and wasn't really paying all that much attention - I was exhausted and therefore just mumbled something. She then said "Well I am going to Christopher's studio for a while now to dance so I shall be back at some point this afternoon. Elliot phoned and asked me to tell you to ring him. I did so once I had eaten my breakfast and he came to my apartment. I opened the door and he immediately came in and put his hands around my waist and said "... Only two weeks until it's someone's birthday!" He then kissed me but I made no attempt to kiss him back and merely stood there. He stopped and asked "What is the matter Kyle?" I replied "I have told you on numerous occasions to not call it that! It is merely a party being held in my honour on that day" he tutted and said "Oh Kyle do be serious" I groaned and moaned "I want to be twenty-one forever! People are already starting to settle down and I dislike it rather a lot! Where is this wretched party anyway?" I got the reply "Wretched? Kyle this party is going to be absolutely amazing! Kelly is planning it and I do say, she has marvellous contacts within this industry. It is going to be immense! I simply cannot wait!" I bluntly said "Where is it?" he said "The French Riviera" although I tried to prevent it a small smile spread accross my face which Elliot commented on much to my dismay haha, he then added "The invitations were posted yesterday so your phone ought to be ringing off the hook for the next two weeks..." 

My goodness he was correct! Two weeks later (after being in London for over a week), two days prior to my birthday my mother and father told me they were taking me to Paris so that I could wake up there on my birthday. I obviously agreed to doing so and the four of us, my mother, father, Gabrielle and I arrived there mid afternoon. I messaged some friends upon arrival (some from school) and we arranged a night out. My parents and Gabrielle and I had our usual suites at The Ritz where we spent a great deal of time getting ready. That evening I had opted for Dior pants and shirt along with ceramic Dior watch and Bulgari ring and Gabrielle wore a new Herve Leger dress which had one slice cut out at the waist and another on the opposite side above the breast (which exposed a little more cleavage than necessary) along with Laboutin ankle boots and bangles. We met my parents in the Hemmingway bar as they too were meeting with friends. When we approached my mother and father were sat with two other couples having drinks which was good as it meant neither Gabrielle or I would be required to sit with them for hours. We went and said hello and they introduced us to their friends, then my father went on to say "Gabrielle, I don't really approve of that outfit, it's far too provocative for my liking." Gabrielle looked at my mother, then back to my father and said "You have witnessed me wearing much shorter, more revealing things on numerous occasions in the past thus I do not see what the problem is with this one. Mother do tell him." My mother, who was most probably only on her second glass of champagne and already looked somewhat on her way to becoming drunk said "Oh Harold it's fine. You wouldn't complain if it was me in it! Gabrielle I may borrow it from you some time it's rather nice!" She then turned to the other two ladies sat around the table who also agreed with her, I then turned to them and said, in french, "Please excuse my father. At times he can be rather protective of his little princess here. I'm sure that you'll agree that this dress sends out the message of a female who is fashionable and has a figure worth being proud of, not that of a lady with a great desire for promiscuous intercourse" they both laughed and one replied "Well even if the latter were true then not to worry, you're young! Enjoy it before you have to settle down and have to come out for drinks with other couples like us six" she then covered her mouth and whispered "If only they knew what you really got up to." I laughed (as did Gabrielle, although she had no idea what I was laughing at) and looked at my mother who was sat nodding her head as though she was fully aware of what was being said in the conversation, although the reality was quite the opposite. Gabrielle and I said good evening and left the bar. As we walked away the lady who I had previously been speaking to said "Happy Birthday for Thursday Kyle" I thanked her and then in French she said "And have a good time" accompanied by a wink haha. If only my mother shared her persona!

We had a marvellous night out in Paris although I had to put up with one of Gabrielle's tantrums as she couldn't understand anything we were all saying. As a result we all ended up speaking in English for her benefit. Gabrielle and I both went back to the hotel with people, me with someone I know from a previous time and Gabrielle a friend of his. Whilst we ascended in the lift the man she was with was kissing and groping her. I was sickened as you can imagine and moved his hand from Gabrielle's behind, seconds later he replaced it and, yet again, I removed it however held it against the side of the lift. Once we were in the room they could do as they pleased. Just not in my presence... Writing this, I have just realised I may be turning into my father. Heaven forbid haha! 

In the morning Gabrielle, my mother and I went shopping whilst my father worked and then post midday the three of us went our separate ways to meet friends for lunch. That evening each of us donned newly purchased outfits, me in a Dolce & Gabbana suit, my father in Gucci, Gabrielle wore a dress which my mother spent two thousand pounds on from Nathan Jenden for a work dinner along with tights and a pair of black and metallic Alexander McQueen booties I had witnessed her wear before, my mother wore a new floor length black dress from Diane Von Furstenberg with a Bottega Vanetta clutch and a gold necklace from Tiffany which featured many diamond leaves on. The meal was splendid and throughout I had been receiving messages requesting me to go out. I asked Gabrielle who also wanted to go out and thus we did so. My parents warned prior to leaving "We're flying to St. Tropez at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning so it shall be an early start. Not too late this evening!" The night club was marvellous when we arrived and everyone was already rather intoxicated. Gabrielle was with friends from ballet and I didn't see her for the majority of the night. When the time came to leave I telephoned The Ritz and had them get a car to come and collect us. It arrived rather quickly and me, along with Jean (who I have slept with on my last couple of visits to Paris) and Louis (a new addition to the Blackbook) went back to my suite - it was my birthday the following day. I deserved a treat haha. 

I don't believe I went to sleep until post 4 o'clock that evening and at 6 Gabrielle came charging into my room and bellowed "Kyle, get up!" I immediately shot up in bed and she said "Mum and Dad are here... Crap! Crap! Crap!" I looked to either side of me, to see two sleeping men who were quite obviously naked along with the selection of condoms which was on the side table. I looked back at Gabrielle's horror stricken face and she shouted "UP!" I jumped out of bed and woke Jean and Louis up and told them to begin getting ready. Meanwhile I could hear my mother shouting "Gabrielle what on earth are you doing, I can hear you charging around from out here." She shouted back "Hiding Kyle's present..." She then charged back into the room and said "There's no hope Kyle.. I'm hiding!" Then the door began to open and I heard my mother say "Oh thank you for that dear.. Gabrielle where are you?" Both of our faces dropped and I was oblivious to the fact that there were two men stood in their underwear in my room. I pushed Gabrielle out of the door and as I did so my mother came around the corner with a huge smile spread accross her face I saw it drop a little however immediately slammed the door. Less than a second later there was the sound of heels as she approached and opened the door she said "Hap-pppyyy Biirtthhdayyy" whilst she tried to maintain a smile whilst looking at the two men stood in underwear, obviously flirting with one another. Just to make matters worse, as we stood there in silence there was the sound of a yawn and out came the person who Gabrielle had slept with wearing nothing but an open dressing gown, upon seeing him my mother said "Oh my life! Kyle dear, I will wait for you in the sitting room..." The smile she gave whilst delivering that sentance was forced and failed at hiding the gritted teeth haha. As soon as she closed the door I heard her say "Gabrielle what on earth! This is absurd. We are in The Ritz, not the red light district in Amsterdam. You treat this suite as though it's some kind of Brothel! Imagine what the staff here think of us. Never mind the fact that they most probably think you two are a pair of promiscuous low class citizens but they are aware of the fact that you are our children. How does that reflect on us?" I was dying on the other side of the door but a nervous laugh seemed to erupt, she continued "You're making a mockery of this family name! Harold!" My father then said "Gabrielle I want him out within the next two minutes or I shall remove him. See to it immediately!" The telephone in my bedroom began to ring and I answered to hear Gabrielle whispering "Oh my god! I have just received a rather large verbal discipline from mother" I told her I had heard and for her to get rid of her male and meet me in the sitting room. I put on some tracksuit bottoms and opened the door, instructing my two male friends to leave. Gabrielle walked out of her bedroom a moment or so after me and thus all of the men left at the same time. As I entered the sitting room my mother looked as though steam was coming out of her ears through fury but forced a smile when I walked in and said "Happy Birthday darling!" and kissed me on either cheek. My father did likewise and we all sat. 

I was given all of the usual wrapped gifts, jewellery, clothing etc. Then Gabrielle handed me a small box I knew by now to be a set of keys. I opened it and saw the signature winged B meaning none other than a Bentley! I hugged her and told her thank you and she replied "It's outside..." I erupted with excitement and ran into the bedroom and threw on a leather jacket then along with my parents and Gabrielle went downstairs to the lobby (where everyone happened to know it was my birthday) and outside to the new model Bentley Supersports in a dark sapphire blue colour. I was in love! I hugged Gabrielle yet again and got inside. My parents came around to the passenger window and said "look in the glove compartment Kyle." I opened it and yet again there was another small box. Once opened there was a key attached to a Louis Vuitton key ring. My face lit up. My father told me "the destination is already in the satellite navigation. We'll follow you." My father raised his hand to a man and a Mercedes pulled up behind us and Gabrielle got into the passenger seat. Thinking back, we must have looked foul. We had both only been up a matter of minutes, I was wearing tracksuit bottoms, no top and a leather jacket and sunglasses whilst Gabrielle was wearing black leggins, some flat Jimmy Choo boots, no top and a long Rick Owens cardigan which, if she didn't hold together, displayed the lacey corset she had put on along with a pair of sunglasses. 

As we drove to the unknown destination I was being directed to Gabrielle said "Do you like the colour? When I saw it in the show room I simply fell in love!" I told her I adored it and she said "What's more I got the best specification I could to ensure I didn't get anything wrong!" I was becoming increasingly excited as we neared The Louvre and then turned onto the Rue de Rivoli and arrived at my destination. I parked my car at the allocated space and my parents did likewise beside me. We entered the lobby and took the lift to the seventh floor and entered through a double door into a large, wooden floored entrance hall. Coming off the entrance hall was a large dining room with a foul dining table and beyeux tapestry style rug (which would be going immediately) my mother said "Oh do excuse those repulsive things. They're antique and could not just be disposed of as I wished... Unfortunately. Someone is collecting them today." Coming off that was a kitchen (which would never be used.) Back through the dining room there was a bar in a drawing room, followed by an exceptionally large sitting room. When I entered the sitting room I looked past the disgusting curatins at the view. Oh my goodness. It was this which made the fantastic apartment! I was directly opposite the Tuillery Gardens and could see and unobscured view of the Eiffel tower.. It was amazing! I continued touring the apartment to find three bedrooms, three bathrooms and staff quarters along with a laundry room. I adored it! I hugged both of them and my mother said "I do apologise for the complete lack of furnishings and decor however I know that you are very particular and thus I thought I'd leave it to you. The interior designer from London will be flying over on the 29th so you will be required to return from your birthday celebrations then unfortunately..." I could not wait! I explored the apartment once more and thought about how I'd want it. After a short while my father suggested we went back to The Ritz for some breakfast prior to our departure from Paris. What's more Gabrielle and I had forgotten our phones so I was dreading the great task of replying to the messages I'd have received. 

Once back at the hotel I had the car parked and went upstairs to put on a t-shirt before joining my parents for breakfast. The sheer dread of looking at my phone was more than justified - 41 messages, 23 missed calls. Marvellous. The majority of the messages were to tell me Happy Birthday whilst others said that however with the additional tag line of I didn't get my invite... Where abouts in St. Tropez is the party? These were mostly from numbers I didn't know or people I didn't particularly like. Some men sent me rather sexual images of themselves saying Happy Birthday which was quite pleasant haha. Kelly had messaged saying Birthday Kyle. Notice I didn't put happy - I hope it's not. My life is now accepting and rejecting people with regards to your party Kyle. I get phone calls, people on my IM, messages by the minute. I am going to go insane! Ring me.. I was joking by the way. I hope you do have a happy morning and needless to say you will be happy... I planned it! xx Elliot phoned me at that point and asked about my gifts etc. and then said he'd see me in St. Tropez this morning. I asked him whether his parents were coming and he said "No, why?" I told him to inform them that they were welcome to - I had this petrifying feeling that my parents would be sat alone and watching me amongst the many men. 

Breakfast was a little pointless as it turned into an opportunity for me to sit and reply to messages as they came. Gabrielle was also receiving messages saying Is there any chance I can come to Kyle's party tonight? I messaged a few French friends to check that they were coming, some couldn't make it, some were already there and some were going that afternoon. Gabrielle and I went upstairs to collect together the majority of our luggage shortly after breakfast. The majority of mine was still packed from when we arrived here, however Gabrielle was quite a different matter. As usual her clothes littered the suite and new clothes were still in their shopping bags all over the dining table. My friend Elle from school messaged me to say Happy Birthday. I received my invite however I'm going to be unable to make it.. I can't get a flight! I tried using my status at work to acquire a jet but it's not working. Sorry. I'm devastated! Have a marvellous time! I immediately phoned her and said "Elle you are coming to this party dear. You can fly with me. Where are you?" she told me she was at home so I replied "I shall be leaving in five minutes to come and collect you. Pack your things!" she said "Shit!" and immediately put the phone down. I left it ten minutes before I left as I had intentions of doing all along. Telling her five merely rushes her and ensures she'll be ready in ten. When I arrived outside her doorman came out wheeling two cases, then went back and came out carrying a further three. Elle then came outside wheeling yet another and carrying a holdall and a handbag. The doorman followed with a dress bag from Dior. she go into the car and said "Oh la la... Nice car Kyle! Who was this from?" I told her it was from my sister and she said "She always had amazing taste! I haven't seen her for such a long time. How is she?" I told her she was at The Ritz and suddenly became somewhat giddy. Elle, as well as others, used to come and stay with us sometimes during school holidays and I'd do likewise with her thus my parents have known her since the age of eleven.

Five minutes or so after arriving at The Ritz we took chauffeurs to the airport and endured a short, dreadful flight to St. Tropez. Throughout the journey my mother was talking to Elle about how she was etc. When we were in school Elle used to aspire to be a Fashion Journalist and work freelance, selling her stories to Vogue and Harpers Bazaar. Upon finishing University with an English degree and a postgraduate in fashion journalism, Elle made use of her contacts and acquired a job within publishing at Vogue and worked her way up through the company. She ended up working closely with Carine Roitfeld (current editor) before leaving her position a couple of years ago and taking a job within Chanel. Now her focous is managing Advertising and Styling for the brand.

When we arrived we took the various chauffeurs directly to the harbour where, just like last year, there was an enormous yacht awaiting us. Only this one was a lot more impressive than last year's Alysia. My jaw dropped at the fact that this ship was for me! 

I got out of the car into the scorching heat and ran over to my parents and hugged them with great excitement. My father said "We're currently in possession of it and have had it available for charter, a few people are interested in purchasing it, however for the time being it is none other than ours. Evident from the name." I turned back to the yacht to see K.McQ written on the side. My mother then added "I didn't think you'd take a great liking to sailing on a boat which went by the name of 'Lauren L' so we changed it." The crew approached to collect the luggage and Elle, Gabrielle, my parents and I went aboard. It was huge! My first thought was "It's like a floating four seasons" before realising that in fact it was better! I took the time to explore whilst the captain of the ship informed me that there was several speed boats on board, five jet skis, water skiing, banana boats, beauty salons, bars... Furthermore he informed me of the the fact that it sleeps forty in twenty double bedrooms! This was most certainly the best yacht I had ever been on and I have been aboard the Onassis family's yacht. Whilst on the third deck outside the captain received a message on his earpiece and he asked us to go inside. I asked why and he replied "I am told some of your friends are arriving." I wasn't really paying all that much attention to his comment and went up to the fourth deck and back outside to explore once more. Out of nowhere there was this horrendous noise followed by a tremendous wind then a helicopter descended into view haha. Once it had landed on the helipad at the front of the boat Elliot, his brother (and girlfriend) and his parents got out along with Kayleigh. They all shouted up to me and went downstairs again to greet them all. The captain advised us all to go inside as the helicopter would be leaving again so that another could arrive. Elliot said hello and then asked where my bedroom was. I replied "Elliot, not now. Both of our parents are here. Let's just respite for a while first." Kelly then walked into the room dressed in a Maxi dress and sunglasses, she put down the phone and said "I do apologise, I had no idea you had arrived! I've been in my room" My mother meanwhile was inviting Elliot's mum to go and get a cocktail out on deck whilst my father talked to his dad about going to the Grand Prix just three days later. My father phoned someone to arrange tickets and then came over to Kayleigh and put his arm around her and she said "What can I do for you Haz?" he replied "Well, seeing as you have an undeniable attraction towards me I was rather hoping to would work in my favour..." she said "What do you want?" he replied "Is there any chance you could get me a hotel room at that fabulous hotel your parents own?" She replied "Well that's a little vague. They own a few Haz. Which one?" He replied "Monte Carlo..." with a monotone voice and an expressionless face she looked at him and said "... For this weekend?" he winced and nodded then she took out her phone and said "You are awkward! Is it just the one room you require?" He replied yes and then said "Elliot's father and I don't mind sharing a room... Don't worry now children, we shan't be taking a leaf out of Kyle and Elliot's books!" Kelly made a minor orgasmic noise whilst Gabrielle said "Father please!" I said "Completely unnecessary comment..." and Elliot's father merely laughed. My father replied "Well Kelly seemed to be quite fond of the prospect. You look somewhat weak in the knees there darling. Why don't you take a seat?"  I then said "Well I would quite like to watch The Grand Prix too, can we not just take the yacht?" My father approached me, grabbed my face and said "What a spiffing idea Kyle!" Kissed me on the forehead then declared "We shall!" 

I went and changed and met the others out on the sunbathing deck. Lee, Chloe and a few other people had now arrived on the boat too. I asked Kelly what the arrangements were for sleeping etc. and she told me "Well, close friends and family are the only ones who shall be residing on the ship. That includes us, Ellie and Sam when they arrive, your parents and a couple of their friends who are coming, Elliot's family, my parents when they arrive, Kayleigh's parents are at their Villa here and are staying on the ship so that they don't miss out on the fun and merely a few more from London and New York. I imagine there will be a couple of spare rooms however not many." She then recieved a message and said "Ah, some will be arriving shortly. A jet has just landed at the airport." I enquired about this and she said "Kyle, your parents chartered six jets to ensure people got here. Two from London, two from Los Angeles, one from New York and one from Paris! I'm not talking rubbish light weight jets, I'm talking ultra long range jets regardless of how far their journey was." Her phone then began to ring meaning our conversation was over haha. Once she had finished on the phone she said "I suggest you go and get a t-shirt.. We're going to Nikki Beach." I went to my suite to get a plain t-shirt and put on a watch whilst also getting my wallet. By the time I had got outside there was another helicopter which had landed and my father's speed boat which Gabrielle and I got him as a gift for Christmas was parked beside the yacht. I refused to go in the helicopter to Nikki beach so I got into the speed boat with Gabrielle, Kelly, my parents and Elliot's father whilst the remaining people went by air. Getting into the wretched speed boat was an ordeal in itself however we managed it. 

All of us were sat in the sitting area underneath a glass roof at the front of the boat. My father then got onboard shirtless and asked whether anyone wanted to help him drive it. Gabrielle, myself and Kelly said that we would join him  then he added "I haven't driven this yet so I apologise in advance if I kill us all." My mother exclaimed "Harold! Don't say such things!" He left the interior compartment and the three of us followed. We were going at a steady speed past the yacht and out of the harbour. It was an incredibly nice boat called XSR48 Superboat and is faster than a Ferrari thus I knew that his rapid acceleration was coming. He said "Kyle, how do I turn this music up?" I turned it to its fullest and then he let out a great "Wooo!" and pulled the acceleration lever right back. Oh my. It was faster than a Ferrari, or my father's Bugatti at that. And an awful lot more of a bumpy ride. My father went over some wakes at one point and the boat was flying off the water and crashing down. Gabrielle was doing likewise in her seat. None of us other than my father had put our seatbelts on for some reason - they were aeroplane style seats with straps over both shoulders. I could hear Gabrielle and Kelly screaming behind me and turned very slowly so I didn't fly out of my seat to see Gabrielle with her legs in splits, one against the wall and one against Kelly's seat. There was another wake and Gabrielle flew a few feet out of her seat, came crashing back down and her sunglasses flew off. She was crying! Haha. I did all I could to pull myself forward and tap my father on the shoulder. He turned and said "Oh Christ" and slowed to a stop. Then he said "What on earth are you crying for?" She said "I thought I was about to die.. Jesus Christ! This thing is a death trap! I'm going inside!" My father replied "Well when in fast moving vehicles and you don't have your seat belt done there usually is risk of death. Kelly will you be remaining here?" She replied "Yes of course! It's like being on a roller coaster! Go Haz go!" Haha. I fastened my seat belt in record time and we accelerated once more. We remained at a constant, rapid speed for the rest of the journey until we finally found our way to Nikki Beach. once we had parked the yacht and made our way to the beach we went in and I was surprised by how many people I knew who were there. I presumed it was merely where everyone had come to spend the afternoon prior to my party. That was until the voice of Dj Coleman was audible and he said "Ladies and Gentlemen Kyle McQuillan has arrived!" I looked at Kelly and said "What the hell is going on?" she laughed and said "Kyle, this is the pre-party!!" As she said it the music started and everyone cheered a little haha. 

It was apparent once I began walking around that the exclusive members only beach had been closed that day to host my pre-party however this made no difference what so ever. The clientele were still glamourous, spending thousands on champagne and cocktails, a vast amount of the girls were either supermodels, resembled them or had breast implants, whilst wearing heels with bikinis and costumes. Everywhere I went there was someone to talk to or I was thrust a drink which I gulped when I was given my next. Yes, as you can imagine, before I knew it I was drunk. Gabrielle was on the beach messing around with some friends from dancing, getting herself thrown in the air etc. (as you do) whilst the rest of my friends were socialising whilst drinking. Ellie was lay on a sun lounger with a group of girls surrounding her and her now rather large bump. I went over and asked how she was and she replied "Exhausted. I wish she'd hurry up! Three more months left. How are you dear? Have you had a good day so far?" We had a little catch up and then she said "I always feel awful not buying you a present but there is nothing I could possibly think of buying you" I replied "Oh Ellie don't be so absurd! Not many of my friends have purchased me gifts and I believe my parents struggled. Have a nice afternoon dear, I'll see you in a short while." As the afternoon went on the amount of females on the beach seemed to become less and less. A couple of helicopters had landed nearby and I presumed they would be taking people to places so that they could begin getting ready. My father came over to me at five o'clock and said "Let me know when you wish to leave Kyle and I shall inform the others." I told him I was ready now and he went and got Sam, Elliot, Elliot's brother, Elliot's father and Lee and together we walked to where the boat was. My father came over to me and asked why I wished to leave so early, I replied "Well I need a sleep prior to going out this evening. I was up until gone 4 o'clock last night" I realised what I had just said then added "... Packing." My father laughed and said "Nick" (Elliot's father) "you may be interested in hearing the latest excuse.. Kyle here claims that he was up until 4 am packing this morning" he too laughed and then said "Almost as good an excuse of Gabrielle's with the bellboy helping her deliver her luggage three days post check-in haha." My father put his arm around me and said "I do believe someone's forgetting that your mother witnessed the two practically naked men in your bedroom this morning young one..." I was mortified haha. Once back on the boat I ensured I strapped myself in tightly and my father accelerated fully, showing off his new toy in front of all of the men. That, however came at a price. I have never felt so nauseous in all my entire life. We seemed to be flying into the air and crashing down every two seconds - it was horrendous! When we finally arrived at the yacht again Elliot's father said to Elliot "You and that brother of yours ought to follow in Gabrielle and Kyle's footsteps and purchase your father gifts like these for Christmas! I do say..." My father turned around and looked at me then said "My goodness.. Someone doesn't look well haha. Would you like me to carry you?" I didn't say anything and just sat there then my father came and picked me up like a baby and carried me onto the yacht. As he walked with me in his arms he said "Twenty two years ago now I would have been feeling like the happiest chap alive... Regardless of the fact that I had listened to your mother scream for the past 20 hours and then listened to you scream in my arms. You were my little boy and I could have listened to that great racket for hours on end.." He sat down with me and I said "Father... I feel sick. This story is making me feel even more so." 

The next thing I remember is waking up to my mother with rollers in her hair who shook me and said "Kyle my love.. It's seven o'clock. We need to be there for nine. I think you ought to get ready." I was under the illusion that I was asleep on an armchair however when I sat up I relised I had been asleep on my father who was also asleep. I got up and asked one of the members of the crew to make me a Panini and bring me some bottles of water to the salon. I made my way through the various decks until I eventually found the beauty salon where I went for a wax, a mini facial and a haircut. Whilst I was having my hair done I was seated next to Gabrielle who was having her extensions tightened, nails done and eye lash extensions applied all at the same time. Ellie was also in there along with Kayleigh's mother and a friend from Beverly Hills, Claudine. I took the time to eat my panini and drink the water which had been brought to me as I would inevitably be drinking again in a short while. 

Once I was finished in the salon I went upstairs to change.  I had purchased several new outfits for the occasion yet was clueless with regards to which one to wear. As soon as I got out the suit from Prada I decided against it and then tried on the satin pants I had purchased from Chanel. They were rather nice and so I put them to one side and then tried on the outfit I had required at Jean Paul Gaultier whilst in Paris. It consisted of slim fitting, grey tailored pants with a fine brown (or there abouts) pinstripe, wrapping around each leg of the pants were braces made from the same material as the pants adding edgy detailing. I put it on with a plain white shirt from D&G and a pair of brown gloves I had purchased whilst in Jean Paul Gaultier but used my contacts to have them made into fingerless driving gloves. I had also purchased an Ascot/necktie which I initially planned to wear with the outfit however, now it was I felt it wasn't required. At that point my father came into my room (without knocking) and said "I need some shoes Kyle..." I said "Father, I could have been naked then. Could you please knock in future" he replied "Kyle, seeing you naked is the least of my worries, it's seeing you... Never mind." I said "Could you not just wear your own" he replied "They're all a little boring and besides, all of yours have been bought by me" I said "Hate you" and he replied "I'll cancel your card then" to which I said "Love you Dad." Evidently he had the trunk which I had brought, consisting of none other than shoes as he said "Christ.. Have you brought enough?" I replied "No, that's why there's shopping bags from Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Prada in there too filled with shoe boxes. Gabrielle then came running in, stressed, and said "Kyle, oh you look nice.. Can you fasten my dress please" She was wearing a dress which she purchased in Paris from Emanuel Ungaro. It was an asymmetric one shouldered dress in black with layers of asymmetric ruffled material throughout which cost a mere fortune. As I zipped her in my father came out of the wardrobe and said "Kyle, which do you prefer, the Chanel or Prada pair? Oh that dress is lovely Gabrielle" As I told my father I preferred the Chanel shoes the deafening sound of a helicopter filled the room, then before I had chance to zip Gabrielle's dress she had dived on the floor in a ball. Kelly came in bellowing "Kyle! Where's Ga-" She looked at her on the floor in the way that my father and I were looking at one another and said "What the bloody hell is she doing?" I said "Gabrielle what are you doing?" The sound got louder and she pulled herself up off the floor, coughed, brushed herself down and said "I thought it was an avalanche. Where were we?" There was a short pause in the room as none of us could believe what she had just said and then my father, Kelly and myself erupted with laughter. Gabrielle was not amused haha. When my father finally got his breath back he said "An avalanche Gabrielle? We're not in Aspen" she looked at him confused and then said "Oh.. I meant a land slide" Again we all burst out laughing and she just stood and said "Oh haha, highly amusing." I finally zipped her in and she said "Ouch" then lowered her arms and began waddling around the room. My father said "What on earth are you doing?" she replied "This dress is sharp and is ripping me to shreds as we speak." Kelly and Gabrielle left the room to go go and look for a bag and as they entered the hallway Gabrielle screamed and ran in the opposite direction. I looked at my father in confusion and then my mother walked in with Camilla (Al Fayed.) I let out a male equivalent of Gabrielle's scream and ran to hug her. As always she looked amazing, this time wearing an asymmetric hemline floor length gown, my mother commented on it and said "That's the Nina Ricci dress is it not?" Camilla replied "Yes it is" my mother replied "I saw it the other day but seeing as it was four thousand pounds I thought I would postpone my purchase until I was alone" she glanced at my father and then laughed, Camilla replied "Well feel free to take this one tomorrow. I will only wear it once and I imagine you will do likewise so just send it back once you have worn it and I will add it to my ever expanding collection which awaits my child" my mother refused as always and then Camilla said "My preparation today has been somewhat peculiar. I had my hair curled whilst in the lounge at Heathrow and then boarded the jet along with a minor entourage from Harrods, consisting of a makeup artist, hairdresser and seamstress. Whilst in flight I had my makeup applied, hair put up and my dress put on haha. Oh here you go Kyle. It isn't much as you are more or less impossible to purchase gifts for but I couldn't show up with nothing." I opened a card in which it said Dear Kyle, Happy Birthday and I sincerly hope you have an excellent day. Upon your return to London relax in Harrods' spa with friends which will be closed to the public and then treat yourself to out of hours shopping at a time which suits you best where you can spend the money on the gift card in the envelope. Personal Shoppers and Stylists will be available to assist you. Enjoy... With love Camilla and the rest of the Al Fayed family xx I hugged her and said "Oh Camilla you shouldn't have!" I put on a pair of Tom Ford shoes and the pair of us left the room to go to the bar. She asked where my party was being held however that was a question I could not answer... I had no idea. 

Gradually more and more people came out onto the deck sporting spectacular outfits. Kayleigh's mother was wearing a feather embellished Oscar de la Renta dress, Kelly was wearing a metallic Zac Posen one shouldered dress, Ellie was wearing a grey maxi dress which skimmed her bump, Kayleigh in a pink ruffled Marchesa mini dress, Elliot's mother in an abstract floral dress from Christian Lacroix and my mother was in another Nathan Jenden dress, this one was tight fitting with origami ruffle things down the centre. When she came outside Lee and a few other men watched as she walked up and then continued to watch her as she passed them. My father approached her and grabbed her behind then kissed her, he then looked at Lee, Jack, David and the rest of them and said "I do say gentlemen, legs like a race horse" and winked haha. A member of the crew then came and took pictures of us all before Kelly bellowed "The cars have arrived ladies and gentlemen! Kyle you're going last with Elliot and I." It was now quarter to ten - we were supposed to be there for nine but when it is my party, I am not late - everyone else is merely early. Camilla went in a car with Kayleigh's mother and Elle - a former worker for Vogue France and current worker for Chanel along with a senior worker for Conde Nast and a girl whom has designers at her beckon call and the famous department store Harrods at her disposal... Good combination! Once everyone was in the cars which were in a line in front of us I got into the one at the rear along with Elliot and Kelly. We then made a very slow journey past the staring pedestrians to a location which we could have walked to within five minutes. That said, arriving on foot doesn't quite have the same effect. As soon as we pulled up I became overcome with excitement as the location of my party was apparent: Vip Room! The chain has additional clubs in Paris and Cannes in addition to this one, it is the venue which hosted P.Diddy's birthday a year or so ago and also where Karl Largerfeld and friends spent an evening.   

As we sat in the car waiting to pull up a few of my friends were walking in down the street to the club, at the sight of them Kelly said "Thank goodness I spent two thousand pounds on a dress... Can you imagine how many people are going to be wearing Herve Leger this evening!" As we got closer to the nightclub there was a vast amount of tourists stood either side of the red carpet and velvet ropes which were manned by rather large doormen taking pictures of the people who were arriving. Most probably hoping for the sight of a celebrity. When I finally got out of the car some idiotic man successfully diminished my buzz by shouting me saying "Kyle, tell them to let me in!" He was good looking but nothing particularly special, I replied "Do I know you?" and he said "Yes, we slept together at New Year!" I replied "Well, if I was to grant access to everyone who I had slept with in the past then this venue would be nowhere near adequately sized so unfortunately, if you're not on the guest list. You are not coming in." I could hear some of the tourists saying to one another "Who is he?" or words to similar effect and then I said to the doorman (in french) "If any one tells you they know my through sexual relations then it's an immediate no. If there is any other excuse then ask them to send me a message - if they have my number then chances are they know me." 

As I walked in Dj Coleman was in control of the microphone and music once more and informed everyone of my entrance then started the music. It was packed! Those who I hadn't seen earlier today gave me various gifts etc. and others gave me drinks. Every time I passed the bar I was handed at least three glasses of some various concoction so as you can imagine I was rather drunk. At around one o'clock Kelly was stood in the middle of the room with a microphone and said "Ladies and Gentlemen I would just like to thank everyone for coming this evening and making this celebration a great success for Kyle." I made my way to where she was as I knew it was my turn and jumped onto the thing she was stood on, she continued "Although it has become a somewhat burden with my non-stop phone calls and text messages it was worth it to see an esteemed friend of ours have an enjoyable day... You may thank me later dear!" Someone in the crowd shouted "We can all guess how!" then a large group of them let out a great "Wooo" ... I purposely ignored my parents haha. I was then passed the microphone and someone shouted "Strip!" I replied "No I shan't strip" then my friend Adam from Miami shouted "Boo!" and my father bellowed "Go on Kyle, strip!" and girl shouted "You too please Haz!" and a vast amount of girls clinked their glasses and laughed. I then said "Moving on.. Due to being somewhat intoxicated I am merely going to echo what Kelly said and thank you all for coming. I would like to give special thanks to Kelly for taking on the stressful task of planning this and making it such a success and furthermore my parents, without whom" another person with an L.A accent (I couldn't see a thing) shouted "without their fortune more like" I smiled and said "well yes, I do suppose that helped, however without whom this could not have been executed. What's more thank you for my gifts which you have given me, none of which I know the whereabouts of but nevertheless. The only thing I do believe is left to say is someone by me another glass of Krug or Dom Perignon and enjoy!" I passed the microphone back to Coleman who then said "I would just like to say that seeing as it is our dear friend Kyle's birthday I think we ought to respect his ways and follow his tradition. Ladies and Gentlemen I insist that nobody leaves alone tonight, that my friends is a rule Kyle always lives by" I was still stood on the table thing laughing and then I was thrown a pair of breifs, a pair of boxers and a bra haha. When I walked around Lee shouted me to where he was sat and said "Kyle! Come here! I thought I would be the good friend that I am and purchase you these. Do not ask what they are, just do them with me." There was a line of six shots on one side of the table and another six on the other, he asked "Are you ready?" and I drank them one by one, burning my throat whilst doing so. When I had finished the last one I said "Oh my life Lee!" he was sat with a group of girls so I leant over the table, grabbed his head and kissed him (when I say kiss I refer to tongues) thus as you can imagine the girls were somewhat confused. When I stopped he grabbed my head and said "Why do you insist upon doing that?" I replied "I have no idea. There's something about you because you're straight. Have a good night!" I passed someone else and was given a cocktail which I walked a short distance with and gave to someone else. I then went upstairs and saw my mother who shouted me and said "Let your mother buy you a drink on your birthday!" I laughed and said "If you insist however, I have no doubt I will get three whilst making our way there." As we walked to the bar I was given one glass of wine which I gave away and then when we arrived at the bar people offered to buy them for me again. Friends of mine Garett and Matt - both top models in New York shouted down the bar "Kyle, is that your mum?" I told them it was and they made their way through the crowd and stood beside us then said "Woah.. She's fitter than everyone says!" My face dropped and my mother, a little drunk, audibly inhaled then said "You're on that clicking advert aren't you!" he replied "I am, for Paco Rabanne. You'll also see me fairly frequently if you flick through the pages of GQ" he winked and then Garett said "And I Miss McQuillan am an underwear model for Calvin Klein" my mother said "Oh well isn't that excellent! However I am married so as impressive as you both are.." My father then arrived at the bar, oblivious to the fact that we were there, with model Anja Rubik and Marisa Miller in addition to my friend Lucie and Kelly, he was laughing and said "What can I get you girls?" In the meantime Mat had shouted some other men over who shook my mother's hand and kissed her cheek saying "It is a pleasure to finally meet you" then looked her up and down. My mother who had noticed my father said "What can I buy you boys?" one of them asked for beer however my mother merely rolled her eyes, caught the attention of a bar tender and said "Six large shots of your most expensive tequila please and add it onto what he's purchasing" The man got the drinks she had requested and my father was informed of my mother's purchase, she raised her glass to him and then turned to the rest of us and said "Gentlemen" raised her glass and then 'knocked it back' as they say. Gabrielle then appeared and dragged my mother through the crowd to the dance floor leaving me stood with the men watching her behind as she walked away. Mat turned to me and said "Kyle your mum is fucking hot! People have been asking me all night if I'd seen her yet but I was not expecting that! Is that your Dad?" I told him it was and he replied "Shit! He's hotter than you! I'm straight but he could turn me!" I was sickened and then Chris who was stood with us said "Imagine what they're sex must be like!" I then said "This conversation is repulsing me somewhat so I am leaving. Have a nice night!" As I made my way around the room I was kissed several times by people who just grabbed my head and put their tongue's into my mouth. Pleasant I know, however half of the time I didn't get chance to see who it was, never mind have chance to prevent it!

When I went to the powder room three of the cubicles were occupied by couples either about to, or already, having sex. Classy! The amusing thing is that every couple that I walked in on had a conversation with me haha. When I returned to the club it was almost three o'clock and was pushed against a wall kissed and groped then he whispered "You're leaving with me this evening" if the kiss was insight into his talent in the bedroom then I simply could not refuse and when he stood back I realised that it was a friend of Elliot's from Figure skating, he was wearing a cardigan with a pair of tailored pants i.e. displaying a phenomenal torso plus he has danced with Gabrielle before now, practising arabesques etc. thus good legs were probable. I went and joined Kelly, Marisa, Gabrielle and Kayleigh on the dance floor . My mother wasn't far away dancing with Kayleigh and Elliot's mum... The rest of the night becomes a somewhat blur haha. I had no longing to leave despite the thinning crowd. At one point Gabrielle joined a friend who dances in New York and their dancing turned into a contest which was announced by Coleman. Everyone stood round in a circle and Gabrielle removed her Miu Miu glittered platforms and kicked them to the side. Dj coleman changed the music accordingly and the girls laughed whilst they attempted to out do one another dancing. They were leaping whilst kicking their heads from behind, dropping into splits and then Gabrielle leaped, landed and ran at Ellliot who caught her and held her over her head in some peculiar position, her friend Holly returned with a provocative dance before dropping into splits then lifting her back leg to touch her head to finish. Gabrielle then performed a few moves then stood on one leg and began to spin, she was spinning at first with her other leg extended in front of her and did so for quite a while and then she brought her leg in and picked up great velocity, bent her knees whilst still spinning, straightened back up and then brought her non supporting leg behind her and finished her spin in Arabesque. Holly didn't attempt to out do her and just clapped haha. 

At one point the man whom claims the title of being my one and only boyfriend, Stephen came over to me. We were involved in a relationship which lasted a whole day and a half in which time I managed to cheat on him twice. We have slept together since when I was in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago - he had a boyfriend at that point and I was the cause of their separation... Oh well. It was certainly worth it (in his view too although he won't admit it.) My mother noticed him before I did and hugged him (evidently remembering him - something which would not work in my favour haha.) He began dancing with me and then kissed me on my neck from behind then whispered "Who are you leaving with this evening?" I replied "A figure skater who boasts an amazing physique... Care to join us?" He replied "An offer I can't refuse, of course!" 

When five o'clock arrived I asked if people were ready to leave. Evident from the fact most had now stopped dancing and were sat with prospective partners for the evening. I went and found my figure skater, Brad, and took him to where I was sat with Elliot, Adam (who he was going back with) and introduced him to Stephen. He was impressed, yet that said, you couldn't not be... He promotes and models for Aussie Bum! I left along with Kelly, Elliot and Kayleigh and the people whom they had selected to sleep with. We decided to walk back to the Yacht however about two minutes into it, walking wasn't going all that well for me. It seems the fresh air had made me become somewhat more drunk and I was stumbling every two seconds. As we walked Gabrielle came running off a random yacht in the marina shouting my name to catch up with us. When I asked who's yacht she had been on she replied "Oh I don't know.. They wanted a picture with me because they thought I was 'fit.' Ugh! Look everyone!" She pulled up the bottom of her dress to reveal red scratches all over her thighs and then said "It's this wretched dress, it is so painful! Plus, I don't really think my dance off helped..." There was a doorman on the yacht to ensure random people weren't just walking on haha. I think I had possibly the best night's sex ever that night! It was mind-blowingly phenomenal!  

In the morning I woke up lying diagonal across the bed with my head on Brad's stomach and sat up to experience dehydration, a spinning room and an awful headache. It was 10 o'clock and we were out of the marina at sea. I remembered looking at the clock and it being six o'clock thus I hadn't had all that much sleep. I got out of bed and put on a pair of shorts, brushed my teeth then put on some sunglasses and went out onto the sunbathing deck where I went back to sleep. I woke again three hours later to see all of my friends sat around me not looking all that lively. I had a minor conversation, got another drink and went back to sleep. The next time I woke up was at 4 o'clock when Stephen told me he was leaving. Everyone dined on the yacht that night and the crew prepared a lovely meal for all of the passengers. I then joined my parents in one of the sitting rooms along with Kayleigh and her mother. My mother asked me "What ever happened to Stephen Kyle? You were such good friends at one point." I replied "Well we became an item and I had commitment issues and it didn't really end all that pleasantly" my mother said "Oh, and was this a long term relationship?" Notice how she knows nothing of any relationship I have ever had haha. I replied "... Two days" she continued "And you were unfaithful in that short amount of time? Harold this boy needs help!" I excused myself before I got myself admitted to rehab for a sexual addiction haha. I went to bed early that night going into Kelly's room when I woke in the morning. Upon my entrance to her suite she was up, walking around the room in suspenders along with matching knickers and bra she said "Oh, excellent timing. You may thank me for your fantastic party now..." Need I say it? We had sex. About an hour later when we were still having a rather pleasant time there was a knock on the door and we both stopped dead. Then her mother said "Kelly dear, may I come in. I need that Louis Vuitton clutch of yours, Camilla and I are going shopping." I then heard my mother on her phone meaning she was outside of the door too. I looked at Kelly and jumped out of the bed and she replied "One second... I'm naked!" I had no idea where my clothes were and was running around the room like an imbecile. I have no idea why I did it but Kelly shoved me towards the window and I just dived out. Her suite was on the second deck so it wasn't a great drop haha. When I resurfaced, in the middle of the sea, beside a 290 ft yacht there was a towel floating beside me which Kelly had obviously thrown out so that I could cover my naked self. I swam the distance to the rear of the boat and then climbed back on board, wrapped the towel around me and went back inside. 

On the Sunday we took the yacht to Monaco and anchored so that we could watch the Grand Prix. Those who wished to watch it properly took speed boats to land whilst others remained on the yacht. My mother remained on the yacht working as did Kayleigh's mum and Elliot's and a few of the girls. Meanwhile Kelly, Kayleigh, Gabrielle, Elliot, Elliot's brother, Lee, Elliot's father and Sam and I went to watch. It was rather exciting if I'm honest and we had a truly marvellous day out. We remained in Monaco for quite a while afterwards however people were leaving due to work commitments etc. My parents stayed and worked from the office on board whilst Kayleigh's father had left, her mother had remained and was working from the ship and both of Elliot's parents had left. On the 29th I flew to Paris along with Kayleigh's mother, she was required to meet with people from Vogue whilst I was meeting with the interior designer who had flown from London to discuss plans about my apartment. I met her at the airport and together we took a chauffeur to The Ritz where I collected my new Bentley and I went with her to the apartment. Upon entrance she said "Well this is a rather spectacular pied-a-terre you have Mr. McQuillan. Now what do you have in mind. Are there any of your other properties which I have been involved in which you would like me to take influence from?" however I merely replied "No not particularly. I have no desire for this apartment to be modern. Ideally, I know this isn't very specific, however I would like it to be Paris' answer to Park Avenue. Presumably you have been to a traditional housewife's apartment on Park Avenue..." she replied "Yes sir, of course. Say for example like Charlotte who features in Sex and The City?" I replied "Yes exactly, however I don't want it too much like The Ritz decor, not floral or any of that foul red and gold combination." She was scribbling away in her Hermes notepad as I spoke. I told her I wanted the hallway to no longer be wooden floored and I wanted marble whilst saying "The thing I have in mind when telling you of how I wish this room to be is The Four Seasons Hotel here in Paris. I suggest you take a look." When we entered the dining room I explained how I wanted a large dining table and it to be in gold. Once in the drawing room I told her I was unsure as to what colour scheme however that I wanted plush seating, a large coffee table and a chaise long. For the bar I requested it to be like The Connaught hotel in London. I told her that one of the bedrooms and bathrooms needed to be turned into a wardrobe (requesting that it was like Gabrielle's in London) and then told her that the staff living quarters could be a shoe/luggage room with an adjoining door to the wardrobe. I also wanted all of the bathrooms to be like those in the suites at The Crillon hotel in Paris and described how I wanted my master bedroom. An hour and a half and many pages in her notepad later we left to go to The Plaza Athenee for afternoon tea to discuss ideas. I told her that she had a room booked at The Ritz in Paris on a long term basis however once one of the bedrooms was complete at my apartment she was welcome to stay there. She had my email address and said that she would email me images of furniture etc. At that point I left to go and meet up with a few friends and she went to meet with a builder with regards to my walk-in wardrobe. 

My friends and I went shopping and each of them told me how good my party was and who they had slept with haha. I didn't stay for long and Kayleigh's mother messaged to say that she had completed all of her meetings and was ready to fly back to Monaco when I was. I replied I am ready now. I shall just go and leave my car at The Ritz. Would you like me to get a chauffeur from there? she replied almost instantly saying No. I have one from work. I ought to be there in ten minutes x 

I remained in Monaco for about another week or so before everyone left and went their separate ways, most of us home. In the time that we did spend in Monaco Ellie was proposed to by Sam after a romantic meal and came back to the yacht with a rather substantially sized ring. The first thing she said after informing us was "You know what this means... We are attending all of the Haute Couture shows during fashion weeks in search of my dress!" We all congratulated her and then she spent some time with my parents discussing property and possible locations to start their family. How upsetting! 

The first night back in London I spent at my parents house however didn't get to see Maddox as Jackie had taken him to the family home in Sandbanks for the weekend along with her husband. Therefore I spent the second night back at my parent's house also. Oh my! I recall being fast asleep and something waking me up, however I thought nothing of it and closed my eyes. Then I heard a door creak and footsteps downstairs. I looked at the clock wondering if it was morning and it was 3 a.m. I got up and peered down the stairs to see that the front door was ajar. I was petrified. I tiptoed my way back into my bedroom and went into the wardrobe and put on a pair of Military boots from Dolce & Gabbana along with a ring from Vivienne Westwood. I then walked across the landing to Gabrielle's room where she lay fast asleep. I pulled back her covers, picked her up and carried her to the upper floor and into my parents room. When I opened the door my father was awake and said "Kyle, is that car outside something to do with you?" I replied "No, there's someone downstairs!" My mother shot up and said "Kyle! Tell me you are joking!" I shook my head and my father got up out of bed and went into his wardrobe. My mother said "I'm ringing the police!" Gabrielle woke up at that point and said "Mother. What on earth is going on? Why am I in your bed? ... Kyle what are you doing dressed like that?" When my mother told her she started to cry and then I threw her my phone and said "The police will take too long.. Phone them and then phone Kelly's father and explain the situation and tell him to send some men from work" she was panicking beyond belief and then my father came out of the wardrobe also wearing boots and said "I have no form of weapon!" I told him that we'd be fine and he said "Kyle! You are not coming down with me!" My mother replied "Neither of you are! We will sit here and wait for the police to arrive!" My father went to the window and said "It's a rubbish car so they're just going to be some poor kids! Kyle you stay here!" I told him no and then said "Gabrielle and mum go into Gabrielle's shoe room and lock the door! That is most probably the safest place - they won't be able to see you when the glass is frosted." Gabrielle was crying her eyes out and my father picked her up and carried her slowly down the stairs and typed in the code to unlock her wardrobe doors and again to unlock her shoe room. My mother sat in there with her and also started to cry. I then went to the island in the middle of Gabrielle's wardrobe and opened the bottom drawer which was a refrigerator and took out a small bottle of wine. My father looked at me and said "Can't you stay here?" I just looked at him and he kissed me on the forehead and we went downstairs. I have never been so scared in all of my entire life. I stood at the bottom of the stairs attempting to figure out where the people were and how many there were. I could hear two. One in the office and one in the drawing room. I waited at the foot of the staircase and then my father went into the office. He slammed the door behind him to soundproof the room so I had no idea what was going on. Then with the sudden noise the man came running out of the drawing room and towards the office. I crept up behind him and ducked at he span around to punch me, as I rose I punched him in the stomach then as he bent, kneed him in the face, he then took a knife out of his pocket so I immediately grabbed that arm, twisted it several times and forced it up his back until he dropped the knife, then I twisted his arm a bit more and he screamed before I kicked the back of his knees and then punched his head to the ground which, I know this is awful, knocked him out. Folling this I opened the office door to find my father's arm pouring with blood whilst a man rather a lot larger was on top of him, also with a knife. I didn't even think and charged over and kicked the man in his side, sending him flying off my father and onto the floor, still with the knife in his hand I stood on his armed hand and put my other knee onto his chest on repetitively punched him and then smashed the bottle of wine across his face before kicking him in his side once more to ensure he wouldn't be getting up too quickly. As both men were now unconscious it was an awful lot quieter and both of us heard Gabrielle and my mother crying rather loudly. The pair of us ran upstairs to find Gabrielle's wardrobe door broken and a man stood in the room with them armed with a knife shouting something about money whilst my mother and Gabrielle searched through handbags, hysterical, on the floor. My father and I ran in and the man turned around and looked horror stricken at the sight of us. We all stood silent and then my father and I both advanced on him at the same time, I took the side with the knife and in turn was cut rather deeply on my leg but adrenaline had kicked in and I was oblivious. I grabbed his arm and forced it away from me and my father did likewise with his other and then head butted him, having no effect. My mother came from behind him and hit him on the head with the corner of a Louis Vuitton vanity case and he fell to the floor, my father and I still on top of him. I managed to get the knife and throw it out of the room but this resulted in him grabbing my throat and strangling me somewhat. I could not breathe! My father was punching him and I was attempting to get his wrist off my neck then Gabrielle stood over him wearing boots and kicked him across the face at which point his nose became deformed and again which moved his already broken jaw and then she kicked him a final time in the side of the head and knocked him unconscious. Just as I got my breath back there were more footsteps downstairs so I jumped up and ran out of the bedroom however someone shouted "Harold, Camilla!" As we were half way down the stairs thus it was evident it was people whom were associates of Kelly's father. As we got into the hallway there were several men towering over my father and I, dressed in black and were all extremely broad. One of them picked the man up in the hallway by his top as though he was a feather and then another walked out of the office with the other man in a headlock. The man who had called my father's name said "We'll take them and put them in the car... The boot if needs be. Are there anymore?" I told him that there was one more upstairs and he went with my father and I to get him. When he saw him he said "Shit, you made a good job of this. Look at the state of him!" It was true. His nose was on the side of his face, his mouth was hanging open and was far over to one side, his head was bleeding and his eyes had become red and swollen. Again, he picked him up by his t-shirt and more or less dragged him through the house and down the stairs. My father hugged Gabrielle and I hugged my mum and then two men came in and said "We're just going to have a look around..." My phone started to ring on the bedroom floor. It was Kelly's father. I handed the phone to my father who answered and said "Yes, we're all fine now. A little shaken perhaps... I think we're going to get the girls to a hotel and Kyle to hospital. He's got a cut on his leg which is rather deep, I imagine will need stitching... Thank you for that. Sorry for the disturbance..." he got off the phone and said "Well he said it's quite all right for these men to remain here with me for the night until the police arrive. Meanwhile Kyle, that leg is pouring, put something on it" Gabrielle went into her wardrobe and brought out a t-shirt which she wrapped around several times tightly then tied. He continued "Camilla and Gabrielle I suggest you go to The Ritz or somewhere. I shall stay here with these gentlemen. Kyle go now for crying out loud before you bleed to death!" I went and got my car keys from my room and went and got into my R8 and drove to the hospital. Whilst in the car I was receiving messages from Kelly saying Kyle, are you ok? My father just informed me. Ring me! and Elliot who said Kelly just sent me a message. Are you all ok? Shall I come round? It was only then that I realised I was sat in the car wearing nothing other than a pair of boxer-briefs and military boots. I thought about turning around however pulled over instead and looked around the car. There was only shoes and sunglasses and then I got out and looked in the boot. As I walked around the car I experienced an immense amount of pain in my leg and decided that regardless, I wasn't going back. Luckily I found a leather jacket in the boot and decided that would have to do. My mother phoned me when I was almost there and said "Kyle, Gabrielle is going to The Ritz and I am driving your father to the hospital to get his arm seen to. Those men have remained in the house. I shall see you there in a few minutes."

A&E fortunately wasn't all that busy and I didn't have much of a wait. My father came in with my mother wearing a tracksuit and his boots and laughed at the sight of me. My mother was wearing a tracksuit and some sunglasses and sat down and hugged me. About five minutes after my mother arrived Gabrielle walked in wearing more or less the same as my mother and said ".. I don't want to go to The Ritz by myself. I'm scared" and started crying again. My father held out his arms and put her on his knee and hugged her. I messaged Elliot asking him to come to the hospital and get Gabrielle and my mother so that they could go and get some sleep. Within twenty minutes he had arrived and my mother said "What the devil are you doing here?" he said "I am going to stay at Kyle's with you and Gabrielle whilst Kyle and Harold remain here. It is unnecessary for you all to be here and you ought to get some rest. Kyle would you like me to see if I have any tracksuit bottoms in my car?" I replied "Yes please." The three of them left and Elliot returned with a pair of tracksuit bottoms from Dolce & Gabbana. As I went to put them on I realised how red the piece of material wrapped around my leg had become due to being drenched in blood. I informed one of the nurses and she said "You are next to be seen sir." I hobbled in and endured the pain of stitching whilst my father did likewise on the bed beside me.It didn't take all that long to get stitched and once we had finished I took my father in the car and we left. We took a minor detour to my parents house where we went into the untidy house and my father told the men that we would be back in the morning and that they were to make themselves at home, using the gym or the pool or even going to a have a little respite in the bedroom upstairs. At that point we left to go to my house. Once upstairs we found Gabrielle and my mother asleep one of the bedrooms whilst Elliot lay asleep on the Chaise in the corner of the room, presumably for their comfort. My father and I then went to sleep in my bedroom. 

When I woke up in the morning my father was no longer in bed with me (I realise how absurd that comment sounds) and Elliot had messaged to say he had to leave however would ring me later. I got up and went downstairs where Gabrielle and my parents were sat in the drawing room. My father was typing away on my laptop and my mother was on the phone. When she had finished I asked who it was and she said "Max" the lawyer "I was just informing him should we need his assistance at any point. He told me there ought to be no problem as the law states that a person is entitled to use reasonable force in order to protect themselves, their family or their property in an act of self defence. What's more a person can use something called a pre-empative strike if they believe violence is going to occur. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. Now I simply must contact the house keeping staff to see about having the carpets cleaned" she went through her phone and then said "I don't appear to have their number. Harold when is Jackie due home from Sandbanks?" he told her that evening and she picked up the phone and said "I am terribly sorry to disturb Jackie however..." she explained what had happened and then said "and as I am sure you have guessed I am completely unable to deal with all of this in addition to my work commitments. Thank you Jackie. Firstly it is vital that I have my carpets cleaned as they are stained with blood and then I may need you to contact the insurance company and then the people who built Gabrielle's wardrobes as they will need fixing. Furthermore could you look into improving security at the house please. Thank you. I shall see you this afternoon." My mother put the phone down and said "She is leaving within half an hour. Now I must get to work." We all returned to the house to find two of the men who had stayed at the house in the kitchen eating some breakfast which Jake had prepared for them. They informed my parents of the police's arrival and how they had taken the three men with them. He also told us that they would be coming back at some point today to speak to us all. My mother then said "Well unfortunately you will have to send them to the office. I am far too busy." She then went upstairs to go and get ready and returned fifteen minutes later running down the hallway wearing a fitted black blazer from Vivienne Westwood along with a waist belt, laboutin heels an Alexander McQueen bag and pants from Chloe. She ran into the kitchen and gabbed the keys for her Aston Martin and then shouted "Good day. Love you" and ran out of the house. Gabrielle then said "Craaap!" I asked "What?" and she replied "I forgot I have a job again. I haven't spoken to them for goodness knows how long." Jake began to laugh and said "Gabrielle, imagine if I didn't show up to work" she replied "I'd rather not. That evokes images of my family starving to death. Speaking of which, could you make me some Sushi please whilst I go and phone them?" She returned a few minutes later on the phone and said "Hi Jackie... I need a flight for this evening to L.A. Thank you." She hung up "Dad I'm going to L.A tonight." He replied "Oh are you. Would you like me to take you shopping this afternoon for some new clothes? Oh Kyle there's a delivery for you in the office." I went into the office which was a complete mess and Martha (the house keeper) was currently tidying papers and mopping blood. Pleasant. There were several boxes in the corner of the room which I opened to find Louis Vuitton holdalls. I had no idea what they were and picked them up to feel a rather substantial weight. I took them with me into the kitchen and put them onto the island in the kitchen and unzipped them. Presents! I sorted through one bag which contained boxes from Gucci, Bulgari, Tiffany&co, Breitling, Chanel etc. Most of which were items of jewellery or small leather goods. Following this I went through another bag containing cards. These were all gift cards for various places, I had a rather large of at least seventy pile from Harrods, more from Harvey Nichols and Selfridges, approximately forty from Bergdorf Goodman, a few for Saks Fifth Avenue in addition to some store credit for Pintemps in Paris. The next bag contained more boxes... I received a few phones from Vertu, a diamond encrusted iPhone, around thirty pairs of sunglasses (some vintage, others I already had.) I then telephoned reception at my hotel and asked whether I had received any packages there. The lady replied "Yes Kyle, they have been arriving in their hundreds for the past week. All of which have been put in your office. Also, may I inform you that there is an awful lot of unpacked luggage in there too." Well that was certainly a somewhat buzz kill. When I have too much luggage to fly with I post it home and it is put in my office by the hotel staff where it mounts up. Unpacking it all is the most mind numbing task therefore I often procrastinate. The clothes have to be sorted into a pile for disposal, a pile for hanging and a pile to be taken to the dry cleaners. Following that boring task I have to have a member of staff from the hotel come and assist me, taking pictures of the newly purchased shoes and sticking the image on the box to be put into my wardrobe, whilst shoes which I took with me that aren't in boxes need to be put back into the correct box, the finding of which is a task in its self. 

Whilst my sister and father went to get ready to go shopping I went upstairs and put on a pair of jodhpurs, a plain white shirt and some riding boots from Gucci and went and told my father I was going horse riding with Kayleigh. I said good bye to Gabrielle and told her I may see her prior to her departure but I was unsure and then informed her that Kayleigh would be borrowing Bruno, her horse. I took a detour to my house on the way to Kayleigh's where I swapped my Audi for my Porsche 4x4 and then went on to Surrey where Joli and Bruno are kept; mine and Gabrielle's thoroughbreds. 

My mother phoned that evening and explained how she was required to go Dubai and was already on the way to the airport and would use the clothing she had at the Palm Island home and Gabrielle left for Los Angeles with enough new clothing to create a whole new wardrobe. I had been staying at my parents house with my father and Maddox and were paid a visit from the police however nothing really came of it. Max, the lawyer, is dealing with it. One day last week I went into London with all of my gift cards and had the sum of them all put onto the one card. My goodness my friends certainly are generous! For Harrods I had £13,500 (two thousand of which was from Camilla) for Selfridges I had about seven thousand and for Harvey Nichols I had nine and a half thousand pounds worth of credit. I phoned Gabrielle when I left Harrods and told her of the sum I had in credit she replied "Oh splendid. Although, it would only buy me five dresses..." haha. Gabrielle then messaged later that evening whilst on a night out in Beverly Hills to inform me that everyone was talking about my party haha. I quite admire being the subject of people's conversations haha. 

I excelled myself to a great extent with regards to the length - haha. 

I shall write in a month or so. 

Much love, 

Kyle.