27 August 2008

Beverly Hills... 27th August


The last night on the cruise was amazing! The show team (featuring Elliot, former figure skater) did a show on the ice rink which was shortly followed by a farewell party on deck. It was just Elliot, myself, Ellie, Kayleigh, Kelly and Gabrielle at first whilst our show team friends provided the entertainment. Once our inhibitions had been significantly diminished through alcohol consumption we were up on the dancefloor haha. I was wearing a white unbuttoned shirt from Armani, a dark grey waistcoat from Dolce & Gabbana and matching grey pants with a skinny belt from Fendi, brown Tom Ford shoes and my Cartier. Elliot was wearing a tight fitting Dolce & Gabbana long sleeved t-shirt which looked worn and frayed (I could see his abdominals and pecs!) with a pair of slim Dolce & Gabbana jeans and the new Gucci boots in brown. Ellie was wearing a D&G grey bustier dress with some red patterned Laboutins. Kayleigh was wearing a patterned Pucci dress with opaque tights and Versace booties. Kelly was wearing a layered, sequined Rue du Mail dress with some Thomas Wylde knee high warrior boots and finally Gabrielle was wearing a corset type top which had a huge corsage bustier thing on by Ana Sekularac (Victoria Beckham has been pictured in it) with some skinny leather/pvc leggings and a pair of platformed Laboutins. 

Whilst we, amongst the other passengers, were up dancing a little five year old girl who I was dancing near, fell and began crying. I usually hate children but this one was adorable. I picked her up and she hugged me while I took her to her parents who were rather drunk but no more than I. They were lovely and the little girl, Lily, sat on my knee whilst we talked. In the midst of our conversation, during an interlude in a song, Danny (one of the singers) said "Ladies and Gentlemen Gabrielle: your star from Chicago" I turned around and Gabrielle was leaping through the air with her foot touching her head whilst the other was outstretched in front of her haha, Lily stopped crying to watch, then Gabrielle went running at Reggie, another of the dancers, and he grabbed her and held her in the air whilst one leg was straight and the other was bent into a v shape and her toes met her other leg. It looked rather strange. Once he'd put her down from this he held her to him and she bent herself backwards into a "C" shape haha... She looked like an invertebrate! Then everybody just carried on dancing haha. Lily had stopped crying now and seemed amazed by what she'd just seen; her parents told me that we'd been the talk of the ship haha. In some of the restaurants you dine with families who you've never met before and they said that more or less everyone they'd ate with had mentioned us. I felt honored haha. 

After an hour or so of dancing the show team finished and another band came on. We immediately sat them down and ordered shots and cocktails. By the time it came to midnight we were all drunk.. A song came on (I can't remember what one) and Ellie threw her arms up in the air and leant back in excitement, however whilst throwing her arms up she released her Blackberry which hit the railing and went into the sea, she just sat up and exclaimed "Oh Jesus Christ! That's the fourth this month... Somebody ring Elaine while I go and get a spare." Elaine is one of her fathers assistants, we did so and meanwhile Gabrielle had a little dance off with Reggie.. Not that she likes the attention or anything haha. 

We stayed out until about 4 o'clock, the last part of the night is a little bit of a blur for fairly obvious reasons. All I remember is walking back across the deck and Kayleigh saying "I don't want to fall overboard", Kelly saying "So who's coming back to my room tonight then" and Gabrielle replying "I'll come and stay over... (slight pause whilst her brain turned on) Ohhh, perhaps not then. Reggie can come to mine" whilst Ellie mumbled "I feel so nauseous" my next memory was waking up next to Elliot with my Blackberry buzzing...

It was now our day for disembarkation and we were all splitting up to go to our various destinations. Kelly and Kayleigh were going back to London, Ellie was flying to Chicago and Elliot was going to Milan to meet up with his brother and his brother's girlfriend. Gabrielle and I were flying to Beverly Hills however she'd phoned to say that my flight was at 4 am but she could not be bothered waiting until that ridiculous hour. I requested for that flight time to be booked so that I could sleep the entire duration of the flight and save my nerves and premature aging due to stress (heaven forbid!) So whilst everybody left at various stages throughout the day I packed my luggage and went and checked in at The Grand Hotel Vesuvio in Naples. I was there by half past 1, left my bags in the room and went to the gym for 3 hours followed by a massage and then sheer boredom in my room. I drank a bottle of Krug Mensil to help calm my nerves and phoned various people to pass the time along with being on Dlist. 

At half about 1 a.m a car arrived to take me to Rome airport where I was catching a 13 and half hour flight to LAX. Trauma. I had planned this well though. The previous night I didn't go to bed until 4 o'clock and if me Elliot slept together we won't have gone to sleep until a couple of hours after that and Gabrielle was telephoning me at 8 am. I still hadn't slept since then and I was forcing myself to stay awake so I would sleep on the plane. When I got to the airport and sat in the lounge the nerves began to kick in as I thought about what I was about to endure... So, I went to the bar. I didn't feel like drinking at all, but it was this or a nervous breakdown, so I had no other option. By the time boarding time had arrived I was drunk. I stumbled through the airport in sunglasses, attempting to look composed however, I'm guessing I did not. I got on to the plane and sat next to a rather good looking man, who looked like he was on business with his laptop bag, and gave myself white knuckles whilst we took off and then went to sleep for 11 hours. I was woken up by my bladder feeling as though it was about to burst... Usually I don't undo my seatbeat for the duration of the flight but I was literally at bursting point, so I went quickly. That was about the tenth time I have ever used the toilet on a plane out of all the times I've flown. I sat back in my seat next to the handsome sleeping business man and noticed his erection, as did the passing air steward who looked at me and smirked haha... I hadn't had sex all day the day before and now I was sat on a plane next to a man with a substantially sized erection sticking up through his pants. This was torture! I slept for another hour and a half and then was woken by a lady bringing me some food. I was hungry and hungover but I was not that desperate. I could have cooked something better myself and I've never picked up a pan in my life, plus I keep shoes in my kitchen cupboards. It was repulsive. The bread wasn't even nice!

Once I'd landed at about 8am I collected all 7 cases off the conveyor belt (2 boxes had been sent home) whilst everybody stared at the luggage, once again, and maneuvered 2 trollies through the airport and outside to find my mother sat in a BMW X6. I walked over and nocked on the boot, insinuating she should open it, she didn't, I nocked again, still she didn't open it. I walked around to the passenger window and said "Mother will yo-" she started screaming and put the window up and started the engine, I thought she was going to decapitate me until she realized and said "Jesus Christ Kyle you nearly gave me a heart attack!" ... Now you know where Gabrielle gets all her common sense and intelligence from. I put the trunks and cases in the car whilst my mother very briefly touched the corner of it as I lifted it in every now and again and then she took me for a drive to see the house. It's situated on a slope and is gated and extremely modern it boasts 1.4 acres and has a tennis court on the premises, a gym, 6 bedrooms, 11 baths.. We would be able to stay there however my mother doesn't like the laminate flooring which is in a couple of the rooms so that's being taken up and she wants a few of the bedrooms redecorating. So she took me to The Hotel Bel-Air where she, my father and Gabrielle were staying. As soon as I got to my room Gabrielle came in and said "Can we go out tonight?" I thought about it for a while and then agreed. I hadn't had sex for far too long and I needed to have some fun after the endurance I just had. I told myself I wasn't going to drink though and had a little sleep. 

I got ready and then went out to a club called Les Deux which Gabrielle said was good. I didn't find it to be anything exciting however it seemed it was the place where a few models had congregated so I managed to acquire myself a good looking 22 year old Los Angeles boy and take him back to the hotel. We had a good night and I think it seemed better because I had been waiting for it haha. 

In the morning I went to the door and said bye and then approximately 3 seconds later there was a knock on the door, I went back (in my underwear) and there was my mother. She looked at me and said "Kyle who was that gentleman who just left your room." I stuttered and she said "You don't even know his name" I said "I do however I was drunk last night and can't remember." She looked at me as I do Gabrielle when she's just done something ridiculously stupid (like trying to hoover up spilt wine like she did the other week) and said "Kyle, I am rather partial to a drink myself and I know a morning after when I see one, now that glowing complexion of yours does not reflect a night of excessive alcohol consumption" I replied "Ok mother, I didn't ask for his name. Why would I ask irrelevant questions though, it's only intercourse, it's not as though I have a number to put with him in my contact list." She said "You never fail to amaze me darling, now where's your sister?" She text me last night just saying "I'm back xo" I had no clue where. I looked around and said "err, in her room" then mother said "Kyle I hope you haven't influenced her to follow in your footsteps and take people home for 'just intercourse'" I said "Of course not mother" as I always did, however truth be it that I am probably the reason she does. Gabrielle's room is on the opposite side of the hotel to mine and my mums so she gets away with it more. My mother left to go and see Gabrielle and I immediately phoned her. She answered and I said "Gabrielle Mum's coming, so get rid of whoever you took back because I will get the blame." She replied "Oh Gordon Benett what does she want? We've only just woke up and I didn't want him to go yet.. He can come to your room." And before I had time to protest she had hung up. A few moments later there was another knock on the door and a good looking man about my age came walking in in a cardigan and boxer shorts. I asked if he'd seen my mother and he said "Is she the fit one?" I just said "Pardon?" and he said "Blonde, looks like she's spent all morning in the spa and getting her hair done?" That was mother. He only passed her on the corridor though. He went back and I began getting ready.

I lazed around the pool all day today as I am absolutely exhausted as did Gabrielle.   My parents have been lay next to us on the phone constantly talking about varied subjects such as "And what is that property valued at? Have somebody go and view it and get back to me. Get hold of the contractors and find out what needs to be done. What meetings do I have when I get back..." Thank god I do not work. My parents don't have to, they have managers and things who could simply run it but they choose not to for some inexplicable reason. We're going to Mr. Chow for a meal tonight, me and Gabrielle used to know China (the daughter of the owner) because my father sold them their house so we may see her, however I doubt she's there. 

I'll speak to you in the week, 

Much love, 


24 August 2008

The past week... 24th August.


When I last wrote I was going to watch my friends in We Will Rock You which they were performing... It was amazing! It was like something that I'd pay to see on Broadway! Following the show we went out on deck for a party which the show team were doing, they sang various songs and had the majority of the passengers up dancing with them. Once they'd finished they joined us at our table for some drinks and carried on drinking until the early hours.. Kelly, Kayleigh and Ellie went to bed with some of the dancers that evening, Gabrielle was too tired and couldn't be bothered, me and Elliot wanted to sleep with them, but they're straight so we settled for one another. 

We woke up in the morning in Florence and Gabrielle, Elliot and I went into the town centre early while the other girls stayed with the men they'd taken back to their suites. Gabrielle was on full form.. She got 2 pairs of shoes and a bag in Chanel, seven thousand pounds worth of dresses in Valentino along with a clutch and a ring and earrings in Gucci which totaled in excess of two thousand pounds. I got 2 Dolce & Gabbana suits and a pair of shoes in Gucci and Elliot got an Armani Collezioni croc leather jacket and 2 pairs of prada lace ups. 

We put the bags into the mercedes and began the journey back. When we got back to the ship we went straight up to the pool to see the others. They told us about how their nights went last night and then we all went up stairs, they were getting ready to go into town and we were getting ready to go to the pool. I dropped off my bags, exchanged my Marc Jacobs shorts for some Abercrombie swimming ones and went to the pool. We had reserved beds everyday which didn't go down to well with the rest of the passengers but, we're paying about £700 a night, why shouldn't we get them? I felt as though we were beginning to get a reputation for ourselves.. The times when the other passengers saw us were for example, when Gabrielle drew great attention to us all with her helicopter entrance, when they saw us get our branded bags out of the chauffeured mercedes' and like today, when we went to the pool to talk to our friends in possession of thousands of pounds worth of shopping, all noticeable by the name on the bag, we were splashing money around, but we do that without trying, and to be frank, I couldn't care whether these people like us or not. 

We sat around the pool enjoying the people watching and sun when one of our friends came around to see if we wished to participate in a daytime quiz. I declined, as did Elliot, however Gabrielle was bored and so took part. Bless her, she's not the brightest spark in the box. She completed the quiz and seeing as there was nobody to exchange answers with nearby, the quiz host, Marc, marked her answers for her. At least it made the afternoon more entertaining. When asked the question: What is Lance Armstrong famous for, and what has he helped raise awareness of? She wrote being the first man on the moon and life on Mars. The whole pool area erupted into laughter as Marc read her answer out and she just sat there grinning wondering why. Then she was asked what a seizure is and she wrote a roman emperor. Then she was asked to finish the simple saying: where there's smoke there's.. The obvious answer which we all know is fire; she wrote pollution.  Everybody found it highly amusing, including me and she didn't know what was so funny, to her all those answers were correct. She just verified the stereotype of stupid little rich girl... Long blonde hair, fake boobs, plenty of money and not an ounce of intelligence. Gabrielle then agreed to take part in that evenings talent show which the majority of the ship would be watching just to prove she's not completely useless. 

The others returned about 5 minutes before they had to be on the ship before it sailed and had also managed to spend a small fortune. At about half past 5 we all went up to our rooms to get ready for dinner, amongst other things. Elliot came back to my room for a while and then I got ready. We went for sushi and then to a show in the theatre where our friends performed which was followed by the talent show an hour later, Gabrielle hadn't been with us for most of the evening... 

The various acts performed such as singing, dancing and gymnastics and then Gabrielle was introduced. They said: Some of you may have seen this young lady around the ship or may know of her from her excellence in todays quiz, or when she joined us via helicopter on our night of departure. Gabrielle was a student at the royal ballet school in London from the age of 11 until she was 17 often taking leading roles in the show which she will performing a snippet of for you tonight.. Swan Lake. She came out with Reggie (one of the dancers) and took centre stage whilst it filled with smoke and the lights were dimmed. She did the dance and amazed the crowd by her ability to lift her leg to her ear with such ease and made the other dancers look like ametures. In a sense they were, they are not up to royal ballet standards, although they are good, they're not that good. She basically performed this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO4AMbM1xVc ... Notice Reggie was merely a support. In the end she won, and quite rightly too, people pay up to £130 to watch a royal ballet swan lake haha. When she won she returned to the stage in a completely different outfit with more dancers to perform: I've had the time of my life. In this she did a number of lifts and leaps amongst other various things and left to a round of applause, it was said that she may be appearing in one of the shows this week. 

We went and sat out on deck with the dancers and they told Gabrielle how amazed they were by her performance and how she outshone them, she of course loved the attention and lapped it up. We drank until the early hours and whilst we were chatting with our new found friends we invited them to come to the casino with us tomorrow night. As we were going to be in Villefranche for a few days and it was their night off it seemed like an ideal opportunity and something which they'd probably never get chance to do again. They said no at first due to having nothing to wear and not fitting in but we assured them they'd be fine and they agreed. 

We got up in the morning and disembarked the ship expecting to find the mercedes which usually picked us up. Not today. Instead we got off to a huge crowd of people taking pictures. As we pushed our way through there was 3 black Ferrari's all lined up. The concierge came out and handed us the keys with a note, given to Kayleigh. It said: Hope you and your friends are having a lovely time... If you're going to Monte Carlo you've got to go equipped. Enjoy darling. Love Mum x 

I was given a set of keys, as was Kayleigh, as was Elliot. I went with Gabrielle, Elliot went with Ellie and Kayleigh went with Kelly. Everybody was insanely jealous but we loved it. They watched as we went driving off in the direction of  Monte Carlo. Whilst we were driving there we stayed together as none of us really knew where we were going. Gabrielle was screaming in the car because she thought I was going to kill us both.. I took advantage due to the lack of speed cameras and when we finally got into the centre of Monte Carlo she was ready for killing me. I went driving down the hill to the casino roundabout fairly quick and she screamed "Kyle you are going to kill somebody!" I assured her I wasn't and just said "They all get out of the way in time don't worry." Then as we were just outside of the casino she got fed up of me nearly running people over and made me swap seats with her. Elliot was behind us revving his engine and gabrielle got in the drivers seat and stalled the car straight away. Then she turned the engine on, went about 3 feet and did it again, all the while the tourists were staring at the three identical Ferrari's which were driving in convoy, with mixed reactions. She said "Oh sod it!" got her bag, got out of the car, threw the keys at one of the valet's outside of the casino and said "Kyle tell him" to which I said in french, could you park the car with the others please and she handed him €20 and said "We'll see you all in Bulgari."  She stormed off ahead and I went to get a drink. 

Apparently I wasn't looking as wealthy as my sibling. She was in a Roberto Cavalli maxi dress with a Cavalli clutch and I was in a pair of cropped trousers from Gucci, a pair of monogram flip flops also from gucci and a white shirt, however when I approached the door to Bulgari the doorman just looked at me like he did all of the tourists with a look on his face meaning no other than "As if..." I took of my sunglasses, looked at him, took out my wallet and showed him the black american express and upon seeing this he flustered and opened the door immediately apologizing sincerely, I just said (in french) "Honestly, you'd think you'd have learnt a few things.." Then I spent a few thousand on a ring and when we left I said "It seems I was worthy of an entrance after-all, wouldn't you agree?" He looked embarrassed and we all left. Gabrielle, Kayleigh and myself were the only ones to purchase things in there.

We shopped for a few hours, purchasing things for the casino, and then went for lunch in Cafe de Paris. Following this we went back to the cars and drove home. The tourists however had flooded into the street outside of the casino and I must've had about 50 pictures taken, or of the cars, in the short space of time we spent there. Gabrielle didn't go in my car on the way home, I went with Kelly instead and grandmother went with Kayleigh. Kelly put the music on to the maximum and loved the speed haha. It's more fun driving this way! On the way back I got a text from Reggie saying that everyone had been talking about the Ferraris and if I'd take him for a quick spin in it before it went. I replied saying of course and to bring the others if they wanted. We got back to the ship and they were stood waiting for us, there were a few passengers in a nearby cafe staring and taking pictures of the cars too. Me, Elliot and Kayleigh took them one by one for a drive in the cars, however, I suggested those with a desire for an adrenaline rush to come with me and the others to go with Elliot and Kayleigh, they were a little more sensible but I'm a better driver ;) We took them for a quick five minute drive each and their faces lit up like children haha then we got back on the boat to have something quick to eat before beginning to get ready. 

I phoned the concierge to double check the cars we had arranged were coming and she assured me that they were, then Dean and Reggie came to my room for clothes. We all said that if they wanted to come they would and could wear our clothes... I didn't mind, I will probably only wear it once anyway haha. I gave dean a navy blue suit with a white shirt which I had purchased from Spencer Hart on Saville Row, a skinny black tie from Dolce & Gabbana and some brown shoes from Prada. I lent him my Rolex GMT Master II, or what ever it's called, to top the outfit off along with a pair of 25 karat rose gold cufflinks from BRM. With each item I gave him he asked how much it was and when I told him he said "Oh my god, I have never even possessed this much money let alone wear it!" In total his outfit was in excess of approximately 8 thousand pounds. Then it was Reggie's turn. Due to him being quite well tanned I gave him a shiny black suit with a matching black shirt and a navy blue skinny tie, all from Cavalli, with a silver tie clip from Dolce & Gabbana and the patent crocodile embossed shoes which my mother sent me. Then I gave him my Bulgari watch which alone cost £4000. I told them both where my accessory trunk was and told them to go and get themselves wallets and sunglasses if they wanted them. I then changed into my new Dolce & Gabbana suit with a white shirt and silver skinny tie also from Dolce, a brown Hermes belt, Dior shoes and my Hermes cape cod 1928 watch, which cost more than my whole outfit put together. Reggie came back with a Crocodile embossed Prada wallet which matched his shoes and Dean came back with one from Louis Vuitton. I used my new Gucci patent embossed breast pocket wallet which was filled with a couple of hundred euros in cash and the black american express.

We went down to reception and waited for the others. Elliot came down shortly after with Danny. Elliot looked rather dashing in a grey 3 piece suit by Armani with a white shirt and plum tie, he wore it with a pair of Gucci laceups  and an Audemars Piguet watch. He'd dressed Danny in a blue Tom Ford suit with a black tie and white shirt and black shoes by Dolce & Gabanna. A short while later the girls came dressed in red carpet attire. Gabrielle herself was in Marchesa couture and had dressed Gemma in Notte by Marchesa. Then Kayleigh came down in a floor length black Vera Wang gown. Followed by Ellie who came dressed in a black Marc Valvo couture with Heidi whom she'd put in a gorgeous one shoulder floor length red Christian Lacroix gown. Finally Kelly came down dressed in a sexy Roberto Cavalli black gown which had a slit right up one leg, she wore it with some platformed Fendi heels and her long blonde hair was put up and curled with smokey eyes... I'm gay and I thought she looked attractive! She probably had intentions of this. She'd dressed Lorna in a cream pleated Fendi dress which she looked gorgeous in. We all stood there ready and the dancers stood twitching with excitement and were astonished by one another's transformations. You'd think they were heirs not dancers. Then we all got on the tender which took us to the land where there were 3 chauffeured Bentleys, this is not how we usually do it, but it's all we could get and there's 12 of us so it was 4 per car. Whilst on the journey to the casino Lorna was saying how overwhelmed she was "I'm wearing a two thousand pound dress and four hundred pound shoes and I don't even know how much this clutch is, plus I'm getting driven to Monte Carlo casino in a Bentley.. This is so surreal." For the record, her clutch was vintage dior, so worth a fair amount. As we approached Monte Carlo we told them they'd have to blend in and try not to be so excited, they all said they'd do their best. That's all I could ask for I suppose. We also told the boys that the females who will be in the casino love money, so we gave them a couple of hundred and told them that the yacht was in the harbor if they wanted it and they only need to ask. 

We all got out of the cars and headed up the steps to the casino, the dancers however saw some of the passengers from the ship and stopped to talk. Kelly just ushered them inside. When we got inside we began drinking champagne, I said I wasn't going to gamble much this evening, however Elliot was rather looking forward to it. I would, only I get frustrated when I loose. I had a quick game of Roulette while a couple of the dancers watched and I doubled my money, at which point I quit whilst I was ahead. Kelly was getting chatted up by an older looking man in a suit who had a certain look about him, she on the other hand was scanning the room for other potential men, she was looking gorgeous and in a place where she fit in well and she knew she could do better. She introduced him to Lorna, Gemma and Heidi and came over to Elliot and I at the Blackjack table. She was interested in Elliot's opponent. Being slightly tipsy already, the majority of the table was aware of this. She stood with her bare leg visible through the slit in her dress, champagne flute in one hand and clutch in the other staring at him and he glanced at her looked at the table and then looked back, realizing what was staring at him. She said to me "Have you made anyone aware that you're gay yet Kyle?" I replied "Kelly this is hardly the sort of establishment where Elliot and myself can stand groping each other whilst we kiss, you however seem to be advertising the fact that that is one of your desires..." She winked at me and said "I'm not just going to let something like that walk out of here alone now am I... and who would want that for me?" She lent over, kissed Elliot's neck, stared at the man and said, very audibly "Make sure you win" and then turned and walked away... Every man around the table watched as she did so. 

Elliot did win that game and a large sum along with it. He then went on to play Craps and I went to see where everyone was. I came across Gabrielle sitting at the Blackjack table while Dean and Reggie stood with her. I asked how she was doing and they said that she'd only just sat down and commented on how little it took her to get drunk. This was a recipe for disaster. She was playing against 2 other men. She sat and winked at them both and then said to the dealer "What is this game called then and what is it that I do?" The game began and I talked her through it and then she blurted out "Well now that I have 20 shall I stop?" I looked at her and because I didn't know what reaction to have I just laughed. I feel sorry for her sometimes. She then said "Oh was I not supposed to say that.." she did a little laugh and then looked around the table and said "good job I've not got 20 really then." She did have 20 and everybody knew that, but she won it somehow anyway... They probably just felt sorry for the blonde who couldn't play. We left the table with €100 more than what we went with so she was happy and then we went over to our shrunken group of friends. It was only midnight a few of them had left already. Gemma had gone with the older looking man who was chatting up Kelly, Kayleigh had left with a 20 year old who was here with his parents. Lorna had left with a male who had been chatting her up all night and Dean and Reggie had taken 2 girls to Elliot's yacht. Left was Danny, Elliot, myself, Ellie, Kelly (who was in the corner whispering things into Elliot's opponents ear whilst his hand rubbed her exposed thigh, nothing out of the ordinary), Gabrielle (who when I looked was stood with a man who was playing Roulette, saying, "Five hundred?! My shoes are more than that!" he looked at her and smiled and then threw another chip in) and Heidi who was sat with 2 women speaking french. Ellie wasn't happy because she'd just lost some money but Elliot was quite the opposite due to his success on the gambling tables and came over and kissed me rather out of the blue. He stopped and said "I am indefinitely going home with someone tonight. I simply will not permit this night to go downhill" and carried on. Once he'd stopped, Kelly walked past hand in hand with her man (who from up close looked rather old) and said "I'm leaving now, be sure to ring me in the morning." I said goodnight and she looked at me with her distorted vision and said "It will be.. I've felt it!" 

I went to the bar to buy another drink and a man approached me. He had dark skin and dark hair which was combed over and his suit looked well tailored. He was also wearing a Cartier watch which I owned. I presumed he was going to enquire about whether my friends were available or not however he said, in french english: "I was unaware of your gay orientation, usually I can tell.." I replied in french saying "and are you complaining about the fact that I am a homosexual?" he said "No of course not, I was beginning to think my night couldn't get any better until I saw you and your friend." He was good looking and I hadn't spotted any other potential gays in here. I asked whom he was with and he pointed out another man who he said was gay too. He came over and I introduced him to Elliot... To cut a long story short, Elliot and I went home with those 2 men, to their hotels. Ellie, Heidi, Danny and Gabrielle stayed until after I'd left. 

I had an amazing night in Jean-Pierre's hotel suite in the Fairmont where I usually stay during the Grand-prix, Elliot was taken just next door to the casino to the hotel de paris for a much similar night. After some more fun in the morning, I went to the rooftop pool while I made a few phone calls. I spoke to Kelly who had been taken via helicopter to the mans yacht, she still didn't know his name.. She did know that he was 43 however. She didn't care, and nor would I. They're good when they're that age, they've been around the block and learnt a few tricks. She had spoken to Lorna who was in a villa in Monaco with a 47 year old. I then spoke to Dean who was blown away by the girl he had managed to acquire and said that Reggie was too... I phoned Gabrielle, whom was still having sex. I then phoned Ellie who was in the hotel I was in. She came upstairs to meet me in a pair of mens denim shorts and a tank top with a pair of Gucci sunglasses I presumed to be unisex. She said that Gabrielle had been whisked off into a Chauffeured Rolls Royce last night, when she last saw Heidi she was stood with a hunk at a roulette table while he bought her Martini's and Danny had departed with 2 women, I asked how he'd managed that and she said she bought a bottle of Cristal and gave it to him and they came. Danny had apparently said that his home was all the way in Nice and asked the girls where they were staying and went back to their hotel. It was a great success, everyone had gone home with a stranger! It's our influence. I asked Ellie if she was ready to go and I went back to the room when Jean was asleep again, put on my pants and shirt, gathered the rest of my belongings, wrote a note saying: The sex was exceptional... and left. I got into the lobby where Ellie was stood in her dress from last night, an exclaimed "Hurry up... I look bloody ridiculous!" As I got in the car Kelly phoned and said "Do you want a lift, I'm just getting into the helicopter now..." As much as I despise flying, I was hung-over and did not have much longing to be sped around corners by an insane French driver all the way to Villefranche where we'd have to get the tender to the boat. I reluctantly agreed and we got taken to the helipad. We got in and she was sat there grinning away. I asked what she'd been doing and she said "Well I would have left much sooner, only I put my dress back on and ended up having sex again... This thing almost has as much sex appeal as me! Did you leave your numbers?" I said no, as did Ellie and she surprised us to say she had "Well once we've landed on the ship, the helicopter is going to stay there while I go and get changed and things and then I'm getting back on it and meeting him in Monte Carlo where he's going to take me shopping" I asked who she was referring to when she said him and she couldn't answer... There was a man who was about to spend thousands on her and she didn't even know his name haha. 

We landed on the ship and everybody stared at us, even though we looked ridiculous in gowns and suits at 11 o'clock in the morning they still oohed at the dresses as we passed. We all went and changed and then I went to meet Ellie by the pool on our reserved beds where Kayleigh was. She told me she had an amazing night and had stayed in the mans apartment despite his family home being just 10 minutes away. She didn't leave her number. My mum phoned me whilst I was sunbathing for the usual pointless phone call. She asked how I was and then asked to speak to Gabrielle, I said "Oh she's asleep in her room, she's a little tired." The truth was, she was still where ever she went last night and having sex with whom ever it was she went home with. My mum replied "Why, what did you do last night?" I told her how we all went to the casino and didn't leave until late when she said "Kyle I hope you have not been subjecting your sister to your bad influence and encouraging one night stands, which you so blithely pursue." I gave the angelic response "Of course not mother, what do you take me for. She's asleep in her room, alone." She believed me, and then she said "She's not done anything stupid has she?" My mother always asks this since Gabrielle stayed in New York a couple of weeks ago. She didn't feel very well so she had a bath and after a short while was bored, so she got out of the bath tub and brought the telly into the bathroom so she could watch it. When she got dressed she unplugged the television to take it back into the living room, she did so and dropped it into the bath water. She then plugged it back in in the lounge and phoned reception wondering why her television wasn't working, they came and looked at it and asked if she'd done anything to it when she casually said "Well I dropped it in the bath but that's all..." Mother and Father got the bill. I assured her she hadn't as of yet and before saying goodbye she said "Oh could you go and check on the apartment your father said" I asked "What apartment?" and she replied "The one in The Regina in Nice where we used to stay, we've had it for years Kyle." I thought we'd sold it but clearly not. I said I would and then said goodbye. I then immediately phoned Gabrielle and told her to go on the way back, she said ok. 

I sunbathed all day and recovered from my hangover as everyone returned one by one. Kelly had left in the helicopter by 1 o'clock and Ellie, Kayleigh and I were asleep by half past. I was woken again by the helicopter coming back at half past 5 as was, Elliot, Gabrielle, Kayleigh, Ellie and the rest of the sleeping passengers. She got out of the helicopter alone and came to the pool-side with about 10 bags, knocking people as she passed them. She'd got, a skirt and dress from Prada, some luggage from Louis, bags in Dior, skirts, blouses and bags from Chanel and jewelry from Bulgari. Everybody stared as she took the things out of the bags to show us, I pretended not to notice but they weren't in the slightest way subtle. When she bent down to show Gabrielle some earrings she'd just bought from Bulgari Gabrielle curled up her nose and said said "What have you had for lunch, your breath smells funny" Kelly said "Oh sorry about that, I said thank you to John/James/Alex/Jack, him, in my own special way on the journey home" I was repulsed but Gabrielle didn't seem bothered, she then said "Ahh did you take a little picnic on the helicopter for him?" We all just stared at her as she sat waiting for a reply, Kelly just said "Well I suppose I did have a mouthful yes darling" Gabrielle said "Ahh that's sweet" as Ellie said "Stop!" the images obviously weren't helping her hangover. Kelly went upstairs and we resumed sunbathing. I think the sun is affecting Gabrielle's brain somewhat, she has excelled her self recently. 

We didn't do anything that evening apart from watch our friends in the show and then have an early night. Heidi had left with the hunk to his yacht and told him how she worked on the cruise ship. He then took her out and bought her 4 outfits from Chanel, Prada and Dior. She is going to stay in touch. On Wednesday when we got up we went out on the yacht in around Monaco all day with the dancers however they had to go back early to rehearse. They performed Dancing Queen that evening and some of them went to bed with the girls and Elliot and I went together. Thursday was spent in Nice, Friday in Sardinia and then Saturday Sicily. On Saturday evening Gabrielle took the leading role in Chicago which the show team performed and everybody loved her. She is also a talented singer so she was better than the others overall. Today we've been at sea all day as the ship makes it's way back to Naples. We didn't sail until about 11 o'clock this morning so we should be there when we wake up tomorrow. Me and Gabrielle are going to go and see our parents in Beverly Hills before they leave next week to go to Barbados and we head to New York. The dancers have 10 weeks left on their contracts until they have time of so we've said that we'll meet up sometime. The whole ship is having a farewell party this evening so I shall be rather drunk no doubt. I'll speak to you some time next week.

Much love, 


17 August 2008

moved on... Again


Sorry I've not wrote much, I broke my laptop... Well I didn't, Kayleigh did. We were in Elliot's room one night, drunk, and she used my laptop to buy a new song off the internet and when she'd got it, began dancing with the laptop just holding the screen. Bearing in mind that my laptop is a macbook air it's not the toughest of computers. As you can imagine, after being swung around by the screen for the entire duration of a song, it completely detached it's self from the rest of the computer so I was left with 2 halves. I found it amusing at the time, as did she, however when I woke up on Wednesday morning I realized what she'd done. I phoned Jackie when I got up to see if she could get me another one sent over, however it's her holidays and she's at our house on Paradise island with her husband. Great; I feel like the world has come to an end when she's on her holidays, however Kayleigh phoned her mother and had one sent over which she paid for, seeing as she was the one who broke it.

On Friday, the same day as the arrival of my laptop, we went out onto the yacht to sunbathe and then went into the town to have a look around the shops. Whilst taking a break from the heat we sat in a cafe next to a group of 4 men and 5 women. All of us had our eyes on the men from the moment we walked in. They had toned bodies, amazing tans, were english and seemed like fun. A couple of them also had their eyes on the girls. We got talking and we learnt that they were the entertainment crew on a ship which had docked in naples before sailing in 2 days time. They had a range of skills, ranging from Ice Skating to Ballet and had lived together on the ship for the past 7 months putting on performances to the passengers. We invited them back to our yacht (which they were amazed by) and we had a few drinks and ended up being drunk. They came back to our hotel rooms and we all ended up sleeping with someone, Elliot and I slept with girls which wasn't ideal but, it was sex. 

When we got up in the morning we all went out into the town for some brunch and they asked if we'd consider going on the cruise. It would be sailing all around the Mediterranean for the next 2 weeks, stopping off in different places every day. It didn't take much thought. After the one we had planned for my birthday being a hoax and also seeing as we hadn't made any friends here on Capri and I personally had only slept with 2 strangers which is abysmal, we agreed and got back on the yacht and sunbathed on deck all the way to Naples. When we arrived there and parked up along side the enormous cruise ship we went and boarded with the entertainment people. They took us to the relevant people in order to book rooms. The lady said that they were sailing with near capacity and unfortunately they only have suites left. The look on her face as she was greeted by 4 black american express cards on the desk told us she'd realized the "unfortunately" was completely unnecessary. Although at £500 + a night it was quite understandable why she'd say such a thing. We booked the 4 of the best and got back on the yacht to go and pack. 

On the way I phoned Gabrielle and asked if she'd like to join us on the cruise, she jumped at the offer as she'd not seen me for a couple of months or however long it's been. She said she'd sort it out and ring me later on. I packed up the majority of my things, leaving out clothes for that evening and an outfit for Sunday (sailing day.) We took our packed cases to the yacht and left them there for the evening whilst we went out for tea. We were on our best behavior as we knew we'd be getting drunk most nights on the ship. Gabrielle phoned me that evening and said that she'd be getting a flight tomorrow evening... It was leaving tomorrow evening. She said "I'm aware of that Kyle, I have made arrangements. I'm going to get a helicopter onto the ship from the airport regardless of whether you've sailed or not. It will be fine, see you tomorrow dear!" and that was that. 

When we got up in the morning we packed our clothes into our holdalls along with other various things we hadn't already packed and went and got onto the yacht to go to the cruise ship. We sat in the lounge for the journey and when we arrived said goodbye to the crew and went and met the concierge who was waiting to greet us. She had people come and collect our luggage and take it to the rooms. She informed us that we were the most important passengers on the ship and therefore any of our needs would be catered for haha. Suck up. 

We went into our rooms and I unpacked before going to the gym for a much needed work out, by this time it was about 4 o'clock. When I got in there I was with one of the dancers, Gemma, who was running on the treadmill. We chatted and then she left to prepare for this evenings show and I carried on with my intense work out. At about 7 I went to my room for a shower. I spoke to Elliot on the phone who had been on the ice rink all afternoon with another Gemma showing off. Once I was ready I attempted going to meet everyone in Elliot's room and when I got in the lift Ellie, Kayleigh and Kelly were all stood in there pressing buttons. I asked what on earth they were doing and they told me that they couldn't get onto Elliot's floor. Elliot had managed to win the argument of getting the best suite and therefore had the entire floor to which you could only gain access to with his card. We phoned him and he called the lift to his floor so we could get into his room. His room was quite a bit larger than ours and had a huge piano in there, which no doubt would be getting played on one of those drunken nights which lay ahead of us. The ship was sailing at 9 so we went to the sushi restaurant and had some tea. I was in a white shirt, black pants and brown shoes all by Armani, Elliot was in Grey Prada pants, D&G shirt and Ferragmo shoes, Ellie was wearing a giles dress with some Fendi shoes, Kayleigh was in a Bill Blass dress with Laboutins and Kelly was wearing a Lela Rose dress with Alexander McQueen shoes. Following dinner we went out onto the deck where a band played for our depart. As the engines started all of our friends from the entertainment team came out and provided us with a more upbeat departure. About half an hour into the departure there was a helicopter overhead.. Gabrielle. It had descended until it was just above the ship, causing everyone's hair to blow and the music to be inaudible, after a few seconds of chaos when the ship had moved forward a bit the helipad was right under the helicopter where it landed. She got out of the helicopter leaving all the luggage to be collected by the bell boys and everyone watched as she made her way down the stairs to where we were sat. Dressed in a pair of leather Alexander McQueen jeans, plain white top, studded gucci heels and a bright green Marc Jacobs bag she looked amazing. I ran up and hugged her when Dean, one of the singers, shouted "Don't worry ladies and gentleman, it's just another addition to the McQuillan party!" and carried on singing... Everyone was staring by this point, they probably had suspicions of wealth anyway however now that one of us had arrived in a helicopter they realized the vastness of it. We would no doubt be getting watched like hawks for the rest of the holiday. All the waiters know our names too which is strange...

We didn't stay up too late and woke up this morning in Cittevatchia, the port for Rome. We got dressed and disembarked to our Mercedes' which were waiting to take us into the capital. We've shopped all day near to the spanish steps in Dior, Louis Vuitton, Fendi... and then came back to this ship at about 5 ready for sailing at half past. Just as we pulled up in the cars 2 coaches arrived which was truly marvelous. Just so 100 of the other passengers could see us showing our money off, incase they missed Gabrielle's grand entrance.. There they stood and watched, without a hint of subtleness, as the branded bags were pulled out of the cars and we got back on board where more people stared as we made our way through the ship to reception to get keys for each others rooms. 

We've just finished dinner which we had in the steakhouse and I've just nipped to the room before going to watch our friends in we will rock you in the show lounge. 

I shall speak to you some time this week.

Much love. 

3 August 2008

Capri.. 3rd August


I'm in Capri now! It's amazing! We had a good time in Portofino though.. The last night being no exception. We all got ready and headed for Carlos' yacht. We got on there and everybody was drunk already due to our late arrival. I began drinking Dissarano and coke with Elliot while the girls were on wine. Kelly being the bad influence she is (on everyone) got the girls drunk within the hour and it wasn't long after until the Dissarano I'd been sipping through a straw went straight to my head and I took to the dancefloor. As always, when one of the brats I call my best friends is not entirely please with something they see to it that it's fixed. The problem this evening being the music. Once again Carlos, quite understandably, had put Italian music on the stereo for what he thought to be entertainment. Wrong. As I was sat having a drink with Rob, Elliot and Paulo Kelly came over behind us and said "Jesus Christ you two... I've been shouting and waving you like a drowning prostitute! Do either of you have your Ipods with you?" We told her we hadn't and she said "I cannot cope any longer. This noise is turning my last night into a Predicament!" She took her Blackberry out of her clutch along with a pen from the hotel and dialed the number off it. They answered and she said "Can you put me through to the Concierge... Good Evening it's Kelly Moss here from one of the suites." I persume he asked how he could help and she said "I need my Ipod. Now. So can you have someone go up to my room and get it. There's a black YSL bag on the floor somewhere and it's in there." I realised I hadn't brought any contraception out with me and I asked Elliot if he had any and he said he'd told me to bring them - he hadn't. I informed Kelly to tell the concierge to have the person get a packet of condoms when Paulo and Rob simultaneously said "I have condoms" I looked at them and said "Who said I'm going home with either of you two tonight" I laughed and winked at them. I was going home with them.. There's no other option, apart from alone. Kelly looked at me like as if I'd just asked her to translate a french essay for me and threw me her clutch. I opened the vastly oversized thing and in there was some makeup, perfume and at least 30 condoms of various flavors and sizes. I looked at her and said.. "Having sex tonight then?" She was still on the phone and  said "Is the Pope Jewish?" I assured her that he wasn't and she said "Well you know what I mean... Of course I am! I've already had some action tonight..." She pointed out a not very good looking man "That man there, has amazing hands. One of the italian girls recommended him and he played me like a bloody Piano. I couldn't look at him though; so deeply unattractive. It's a shame really. His talents will never get noticed being given to him. Give them to well, not you two" she noticed Paulo"Three, because you already posses them, say that personal shopper I slept with. He was gorgeous but absolutely abysmal in bed and the foreplay field." She realised she was still on the phone to the concierge and said "Oh I forgot you were still there" The phone had been stuck to her ear all through that speech, how could she have forgotten? She told him where the yacht was and he said he'd have it with her in a few moments. Meanwhile Elliot and I took some condoms from her clutch and handed it back. She hung up from and said "Shall we join the mile high club on the way to Capri?" I looked at her as though she was an idiot, as she usually did me, and said "Unless you wish to straddle me in front of everyone whilst I sit strapped in and clutching the arm rests, then yes by all means.. Otherwise no." she looked at Elliot and he said "I'm already a member." She told him she was too.. Obviously, and he said "Well we won't have enough time anyway... It's only an hour" She realised that was not enough time for any of us to have sex and decided she'd do it with him next time we go to New York. Filth! Haha. 

A few minutes later she reappeared from the crowed and went to the doorway where one of the bellboy's was stood with her ipod touch in his hands. She said "Ah marvelous... Just hold your hands out for me" He did so and she emptied the contents of her bag, including the condoms, into his hands. He looked puzzled and then she said "Oh.. Tip it all back in." He did so and she bellowed "Kyle darling.. Wallet" I threw it to her and like a true drunken blonde: she clapped her hands together in order to catch it when it had all ready hit her boobs and was falling to the floor. She picked it up and handed the boy/man a €5 note and he went on his way. Seconds later Kelly's recently updated ipod was being played full blast. Elliot and I got up for a dance with Ellie and Kayleigh.. Kelly was in the centre of about 4 men and was therefore unreachable. 

As the party went on and state of drunkenness worsened I began chatting and dancing with Paulo and when the clock struck 4 we left. Put it this way... I didn't get to sleep until about 7 and I don't think next door did either. 

On Monday I got up quite early and left Paulo in bed with intentions of packing my case. That didn't quite go to plan... I walked out dressed in nothing but a pair of Calvin Klein boxers and I went to the lounge and pulled one of my trunks out from under the table (while my bum was sticking up in the air) when someone who I persumed to be Elliot came walking in behind me. I turned around and saw a tanned muscley hunk walking out of Elliot's room towards me (he was going to the kitchen.) I showed that charming smile of mine and, well, to cut a long story short, one thing led to another and I didn't end up packing until 2 hours later. 

I left The Splendido hotel in Portofino at half past 4 in the afternoon, (when I was checking out Eva Longoria was checking in) in order to get a punctual arrival at the airport for 6. I was however, making this journey alone. Elliot, Kelly, Kayleigh and Ellie went by air and I was going by road. I was already going to have to endure a flight so I wanted to minimize the amount of air time by as much as possible. I managed to cram all my cases into the car. There were 3 trunks in the boot, 2 cases on the passenger seat and a few next to me in the back and on the floor. We were limited for space.. We all had about 6 each to begin with however, the clothes which we've worn have been sent home because they won't get worn again whilst we're away; or ever in some cases. 

I arrived at the airport just 5 minutes before the others and met them in the terminal. I was wearing some Military/cargo pants, some sandals which took about 5 hours to get on because of all the straps and buckles, a tight khaki low crew neck t-shirt and a military cap all by Dolce & Gabbana with some DVB aviators, I also had my monogram gucci duffel which is from the new winter collection. Ellie was wearing a pair of jeans with some Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, a Paul & Joe cardigan which went down to about her knee, a plain white top and an oversized Miu Miu bag. Kayeligh was wearing a plain white Narciso Rodriguez dress with some Gold Jimmy Choo's and a Marni bag. Kelly was wearing a Cavalli Kaftan style top with some white jeans, Robert Sanderson studded heels and a Pauric Sweeney python bag. Elliot had a pair of dark denim jeans on from Seven, a low V neck white tshirt, a grey Dolce & Gabbana waistcoat, a Fendi neckscarf and my Dolce & Gabbana high-top trainers. We all checked in, our luggage was taken to the plane and we went into the VIP lounge.. It was disgusting. It looked like a cheap B&B you'd expect to find in Ibiza. I almost felt as though I didn't want to sit down. We could have just gone straight to the plane but I get scared just being on it so I insisted we sat in here for a while whilst I tried to get drunk. I sound like some sort of alcoholic but I can assure you, it is a necessity. 

We sat in the repulsive room for about half and hour until our jet was ready. In which time I consumed a vast amount of alcohol and went to the toilet every 10 minutes - literally. As we walked to the plane I could feel the alcohol going to my head. Excellent. The plane journey should not be one to cause a nervous breakdown if I'm somewhat drunk. We got on the jet and I sat in my leather recliner strapped as tightly as possible clutching the arm rest. The others sat around me chatting away to the air hostess and each other whilst I shut them out and took deep breaths. Then they dimmed the lights and the engines turned on and my stomach flipped. It always did when they did that (my heart rate has increased just writing this!) As we accelerated down the runway I gripped the armrest tightly, shut my eyes, took deep breaths and listened to des'ree - Kissing you on my ipod in an attempt to calm myself down. After being in the air for a traumatic 10 minutes I fell to sleep. I hardly slept at all last night and I was slightly tipsy so it was inevitable yet intentional. I was woken by Elliot when we'd landed in Naples. It was such a relief! I collected my bag and got off the plane where there was a mercedes CL coupe like my mothers waiting to take me to the port and a helicopter waiting to take them to Capri. There was a problem as soon as we saw it. 

The Helicopter was not the Sikorsky 76 model which normally picks us up from airports.. It was significantly smaller than that, therefore meaning that hardly any of the cases were going to fit in it. There was usually a squeeze anyway and cars had to be ordered however with this there was no chance. I asked my chauffer if he could have a people carrier or estate car brought to the airport immediately, he got on the phone and he assured us that one would be here within the next minutes. I then attempted to get my cases into the car. I got 3 trunks in the boot (just about) and the rest of my bags were once again piled in the car. A member of staff from the airport came and unloaded the cases from the plane and put them in a huge pile in the middle of the ground. We looked like a bunch of useless rich kids.. I suppose we were actually. There we all stood in oversized sunglasses with a pile of Louis Vuitton luggage, a private jet, a helicopter and a blacked out window mercedes whilst there were planes taxiing past us on the way to the terminal - you could see the various minute faces staring through the windows at us. The staff from the airport managed to get 2 trunks into the helicopter and one of them threw one in... Mistake. Mouth-almighty Kelly noticed and shouted "Excuse me! If it's not too much trouble would you like to handle my luggage with a bit more care please! That case alone is worth thousands not to mention the contents." She was getting moody due to the inconvenience. It was awful. I couldn't hear a thing anyone was saying, my head was spinning slightly (alcohol I expect), it was blowing a bloody gail and I kept on getting bits of Ellie's hair blown in my mouth from standing next to her. 

Ellie, Elliot and Kayleigh went and sat in the helicopter and I waited with Kelly as she nagged my chauffeur about how long the car would be. Once 15 minutes had passed she asked again. He told her it wouldn't be long. She said "Jesus Christ! I am reaching for the stars when I ask for a Sikorsky helicopter or a car to arrive as it seems nobody can accomplish such tasks which I thought to be fairly simple! The incompetance of some people is overwhelming." Somebody's p.a was going to be getting a grilling. See what I mean - brats; if we don't get our own way then somebody pays. 

I was unaware that mercedes made monstrosities such as the one which arrived to take the luggage, however it did the job and it all fit in. They headed to Capri whilst I headed to the port. After about 10 minutes in the car I went into my gucci duffel to check my blackberry. It wasn't there and I knew exactly where it was... In the little compartment on the windowsill on the plane. Great. I brought a spare though, it was in the accessory case. I had the driver pull over while I went into the boot, tooke out one case and left it on the hardshoulder while I searched through the other for my phone box. Everyone was staring but I didn't care, I needed a phone! I found it and the driver put the cases back in the boot while I used the phone which was built into the car. I had Jackie's number wrote down in my hermes agenda which was in my duffel thankfully so I called her immediately. I told her what I'd done and she said "ok, it won't be a minute." She knows what to do. Gabrielle and I are doing this all the time. She rings up the people who you have to ring in that situation (who, I don't know) and has the sim card which I have spare activated with the my old number and contract. She asks me to read her out all these numbers of my spare simcards before I leave so she can do it. I don't have a clue. I turned on the Vertu brick and waited for a moment before recieving a message informing me that it had been activated. This thing actually was a brick. It was an 18k solid gold phone which had no camera and was quite a lot larger than my blackberry. I phoned Jackie, she told me that she had recieved my clothes I'd posted and they're in the drawing room in my house. Gabrielle is now in Beverly Hills with my mother and father and there was no damage to the house - she checked herself. And she is looking after my car tracking devices. They're these little things that I have for each car. I have to keep it with me if I'm out or in the car, usually I only take the one for the car I'm using and hide the others in a wardrobe or something. What it does is if the engine is started when the thing isn't in the car then the tracking device on the car starts. Quite cleaver really. She also said that the hotel were asking where I would be. Next I phoned them. I had a chat with Carolyn on reception whom I liked. She filled me in on some gossip as did I her and she told me that I'd recieved a book from Dolce & Gabbana because I'm regarded as an important customer and it's in aid of the new men's store which they've opened. I got a David Gandy calendar at Christmas too which was rather pleasant haha. She said she'd posted that on to the hotel. Also my fashion week tickets have began arriving which is marvelous. My sucking up,favors and connections have paid off haha. 

We arrived at the port in what seemed like no time. I let the drivers and the crew take the luggage on board and I went and sat out on deck and read a magazine. The sea was calm and the sun was hot so it was perfect. As I flicked through the pages of GQ I noticed that The Splendido hotel where I had just been staying was in there as was the hotel suite which we've booked into on Capri. I'm so ahead of time haha. We passed a few hydrofoils which were rammed with tourists on the journey to Capri, who will no doubt have thought I was somesort of celebrity. Before now I have sailed past the Trumps, Niomi Cambell, Kate Moss and Mariah Carey on my way over to Capri so I guess they presumed I was someone. They waved and I waved back, a few were taking pictures which was annoying but they were the socks with sandles kind of people who had their cameras around their necks and sunblock smeared across their faces which was shadowed by a very demode fishing hat. 

When the boat docked in the same place the tourists boats did I got off and and walked with 2 men behind me carring Louis Vuitton trunks and Prada and Gucci cases. Of course this drew some attention for the hopeful celebrity spotters, I walked by and got into the car which was awaiting me and sent some texts. The crew and chauffeur loaded in the luggage whilst a few people walked past the car and attempted to casually stare in, however failed due to the windows being blacked out. They were so annoying! If I can't stand it and I'm not a celebrity imagine what it must be like for them! I got to the hotel and went to check in. The lady informed me that the hotel was somewhat full and I hadn't got the room I usually do. Elliot was in one of the penthouses which had a pool and garden and a gym, Ellie was in the Warhol which featured originals of the artists work, Kelly the hepburn, I the monroe, and Kayleigh was in the Callas. I got given a fiar amount of post which I love! Becuase I don't pay any bills I never really get post apart from invitations and things or my magazines or clothes I've ordered. I went up to my room and called the others to tell them I'd arrived, they told me we were leaving for tea in half an hour! Shit. I tipped the bellboy who just brought my cases up and went and got in the shower. I threw open my cases and put on some grey pants from Armani collezioni, a white shirt from Dolce, an orange Hermes belt, a pair of Prada shoes, a gold McQueen scarf and my white and gold Chanel J12 watch. I went down to the lobby and asked reception to send someone up to unpack my things. I had a huge walk in wardrobe and 6 cases and no energy to unpack. I said that the cases were more or less organized into categories anyway so it shouldn't take long. 

We dined in the hotel which never failed to amaze. It was delicious. I had cheese filled Raviolli followed by Raw Red shrimps with caviar and a salad. When we'd finished and let our food digest we all went to bed. Due to our sheer lack of sleep last night and travelling today we were all exhausted! I got into my room which was lovely and tidy. My cases were no longer open with clothes pouring out of them, instead they were in the back of the wardrobe where all my clothes hung neatly. I opened my post which was the photo book from Dolce & Gabbana which showed the fall collection which I would be purchasing this week. It looked nice. I also had a pair of shoes which my mother had posted over for me. They were patent leather crocodile embossed attached with the note: Enjoy Capri darling. Love Mum xo. Bless her. I'll buy her something this week while I'm here :).  

Tuesday and Wednesday were much the same, we spent those days catching up on lost sleep, sunbathing and dining in the hotel. On Thursday we spent the day on the yacht at the harbour at the back, we parked up and soon there was about 15 other yachts surrounding us. It could have been Prince Harry on there or something haha. We tactically avoided the path of the hyrofoils so we didn't get gawped at. We went into Capri at about 1 o'clock to have a look around the shops. We got changed slightly of course. Kayleigh was wearing a Stella McCartney jumpsuit with a pair of black and grey Laboutin heels and an Alexander McQueen bag. Ellie wore a Roberto Cavalli floral dress with a pair of red strappy Jimmy Choos, gold bangles, Bvulgari sunglasses and a YSL bag. Kelly wore an Issa dress with a Micheal Kors bikini under with a pair of new Jimmy Choo gladiator strappy heels, Dior sunglasses and a Mulberry bag. Elliot wore a pair of tailored shorts from Band of Outsiders with a bright green belt from Paul Smith, a white shirt which was open and some gucci slip ons. I had on a pair of grey tailored pants with a khaki cardigan and a loose fitting white vest top and those flip flops which drove me insane yet looked amazingly good all by Dolce & Gabbana with a pair of 18K gold Dita sunglasses which I picked up when I went for a run the other morning haha. The winter clothes have begun arriving in some stores which I am incredably excited about. I spotted a few things I liked in fashion week earlier in the year so it will be hardcore shopping in order to update my wardrobe. I tried not to buy too much because I'll end up having got everything I like within a week and then I'll be bored. I got mother the new large Hysteria bag in Black and Gabrielle the same however in a clutch from Gucci. Also in Gucci I got myself a messenger bag from the winter collection which has a studded strap and a large gucci crest on the front. Then we went to Louis Vuitton where they all dropped a fortune, however due to me having just dropped in excess of €3000 I felt I had done a fair amount of shopping for today. 

A couple of hours and a few thousand euros later we went back onto the yacht to have some lunch. With it being 4 o'clock the majority of tourists were beginning to make their way back to the mainland, therefore meaning they were all in the harbor. The five of us walked with some 20 shopping bags between us to the yacht. Elliot, Ellie and I walked ahead, Ellie was holding Elliot's hand probably so that they looked like some amazing couple haha. As we made our way to the yacht I heard Kelly shout me I turned and she and Kayleigh were stood talking to a man whom I didn't recognize at first, I thought she'd shouted me to get rid of him however when I got to her side it was Dj Coleman. He is a world renowned Dj who does fashion events. He Dj'd at the CFDA awards and many fashion week runway's. Kelly knows him through some parties she's attended and has ended up sleeping with him at nearly every one. She'll often get a text when he's in London asking does she want to meet up or he'll invite her (along with us) to one of the parties. She said "What brings you to Capri, is there a party you've not told me about?" He assured her there wasn't and told her he'd just nipped for the day as he's been in Milan talking to "Dolce & Gabbana's people." He then said "Going to fashion week I expect Kayleigh?" She replied "Of course, skipping London though I think. I don't doubt you'll be there providing your excellent talents." "Of course, I am the best in my industry" He was good. I read that he'd described himself not as a Dj but a music stylist haha. He then asked me if Gabrielle would be coming and I told him she was and he said "Oh excellent" I said "Unfortunately not Coleman, she's got a boyfriend. I'm always available though haha" He replied with his usual jokey "Oh fuck off Kyle haha, if I do ever decide to swing the other way then you'll be top of the list of gays who wish to sleep with me, amongst the models and fashionistas. Speaking of which... Some models have started using bum cream under their eyes to get rid of wrinkles. Apparently it makes the capillaries in your bum contract so they put it under their eyes and it does the same. How fucking crazy is that!? They're doing it after they've been out on the jazz all night and come in for a show." I love this sort of gossip. We all stood and chatted for a while and we said we'd see him at fashion week in September if not before. He went and got into an open top taxi and we went onto the yacht. 

Whilst on the yacht we had lunch out on deck and chatted. Kelly was texting on her phone all the while giving the occasional smirk and texting back. She asked us what time we were going for tea and when we asked why she said I'm going to have sex with Coleman Ellie said "Kelly, you can do so much better. He's not very good looking." I didn't think he was too bad. Kelly replied "I know. It's rare I come across someone who I can't do better than darling but he'll get us into an after-party and if he's doing the Dj'ing it'll be good." She no longer minded. Then Kayleigh interrupted and said "Well Kyle can I go back to your room then?" I nodded and Ellie began to ask Elliot when he said "Yes of course." We went back at about 5 and all went to our allocated rooms for sex. About 2 and a half hours later when Kayleigh had just left there was a nock on my door. I opened the door in my underwear as I thought it was Kayleigh again but it was Coleman. He said "Is this how you normally answer your door?" I said "I thought you were Kayleigh... What do you want?" He walked in and said "You've gone bigger since I last saw you. No wonder you're living that slut's life like Kelly. Oh anyway I need underwear." I looked at him in confusion and said "Did you decide to come out commando today Coleman?" He said "I couldn't find them." I said "Oh" as I knew the feeling. I was always taking mens underwear after I'd slept with them. I went into the draw and got him out a pair of boxed Calvin's and he went into the bathroom to put them on and told me to ring reception for a car. He told me he was leaving now to get his helicopter. I said goodbye and he left then I began getting ready.

We went and dined in a Pizzeria that evening and looked out over the harbor and Sorrento. After our meal we went for a little walk and then got a taxi back to the hotel. We spent Friday and Saturday doing the same as Thursday only we stayed on the yacht as opposed to going shopping. It's been so fun. I can even people watch when I'm on the yacht because there's people jet skiing and things haha. I'll make some friends soon haha. I found a picture of what it's like just so you can get an idea of how we spend our day times: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:View_of_capri_2.jpg ... Yachts everywhere! I love it! 

Speak soon, 

Much love.