24 January 2009

Making my way back home.. 24th January


When I spoke to you last I was still on the Private Island in The Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Well, that was short lived. Once I had slept with the majority of good looking homosexual men on the island I was completely lost as to what to do. This was a mutual thought between all of my friends and I. Normally, when the island was at capacity with all of our friends, the evenings would consist of drinks and intercourse with whomever, yet as the amount of people decreased and it resulted in just being Elliot, Lee, Kelly, Kayleigh, Gabrielle, Ellie and Myself the evenings were somewhat boring. We were on a private island - there was nowhere to go. 


On one of the days when the boredom had reached day times too we enjoyed a few cocktails around the pool and as usual, Gabrielle was drunk by her second or third one and came up with the marvellous idea of enjoying some Karaoke in the evening. Desperate times - desperate measures. When she suggested it we all looked at one another and Kelly said "Is she serious? How old are we, six?" Gabrielle dismissed this and said "It will be fun!" She took out her Blackberry and rang the concierge. We all listened in to her conversation as she said "Good day, my friends and I would like a Karaoke machine by this evening please - I don't mean one of those hideous monstrosities from the middle ages that they use at those blue coat establishments, a modern one like" she looked at me and said "Kyle what are those things called where you have a remote and you wave it around?" I had no idea what she was talking about and just looked at her blankly "They have them in Harrods... A poo... Oh a Wii or A playstation, which ever one is better. I do not care how you get it or how much it costs, just ensure it is here by this evening please. Thank you."  


When the evening finally arrived we had all been drinking cocktails since midday and therefore were on our way to becoming drunk. Elliot messaged us all telling us to go to his Villa where the brand new Playstation had been delivered and so I put on a tracksuit and went. None of us had made any effort what so ever, Elliot, Lee and myself were all wearing tracksuits and the girls were in cardigans with vest tops and tracksuit bottoms, that said - Gabrielle's cardigan was Rick Owens and so probably cost a few hundred pounds, nothing out of the norm haha. Whilst a couple of people from the hotel set up the machine Kelly phoned room service, I think she ordered the majority of food on the menu with the exception of big meals and so we were brought about six bottles of wine, sushi, salad, fruit, cakes and pastries. Before beginning the fun that was Karaoke we all sat and discussed our departure. We said we would leave the following day in the evening and fly to Sydney - the nearest big city we could think of, and spend a few days there before perhaps flying straight home or stopping off in places in between. After about half an hour the wine had gone straight to my head and I made the suggestion of Gabrielle starting the Karaoke.. The things one does when under the influence. Gabrielle of course jumped at the suggestion, just like she would any other opportunity to show off a talent. 


She started off with a Disney song by Miley Cirus and hit more or less every note haha, it was rather good actually as it rates how you sing.. I had no idea. Following this, as it looked rather fun, I joined her and we performed a duet to High School Musical's Breaking Free haha. I am cringing somewhat I may just inform you. As I got up to join her there was a series of groans from everyone except Gabrielle who was jumping for joy, we both said "What?" and Kayleigh replied "You do realise this is supposed to be fun, you two are amazing singers and in comparison we are going to look absolutely abysmal." I smiled and said "Kayleigh you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone can be perfect like Gabrielle or myself, we are just lucky dear" and kissed her on the forehead haha. We were actually rather good I must say, half way through Ellie said "This is absurd. You're better than Zac for crying out loud" After various songs we progressed onto chart music as opposed to Disney and then the night becomes a blur haha. I do recall walking back to my room with Gabrielle and she was lunging through the air all the way singing "We're soarin', we're flyin'" ... A line from High School Musical for those of you who don't know. I now shamefully do! 


The following day I woke up and took my dehydrated self to the pool where I found Elliot asleep on a sunbed and Kelly and Kayleigh stood at the bar. I lay down and removed my top, ordered a bottle of water from a passing waiter and then Elliot woke up. He told me of the headache he had when he awoke and then found sushi in every room of the villa plus a bra hanging from a door handle haha. I said "Can we go back to your Villa in a short while?" he replied "We can go now if you like" I told him I had to re-hydrate first and then asked "Did anyone book a jet last night? I can't remember.." He said he wasn't aware of anyone doing so and then phoned Kelly and Kayleigh who were a mere 100 yards away (I have no idea how far that is, it was a guess - they weren't far) and told them to come over. Neither of them had booked a jet so I said I would do it, Kayleigh said "Oh gosh, we're in the middle of nowhere and want a jet within the new few hours. Will that be possible?" Elliot myself and Kelly all looked at her like she was unbelievably stupid and I said "We all have Black American Express cards and are all important members to the jet clubs. How hard can it be?" I phoned Jackie and she managed to a book a jet which would be on the mainland ready to fly at 8 p.m. It had just turned 12. Behind me I heard a scream and more or less everyone turned and looked at Gabrielle who was stood in a bikini with a matching pareo around her waist, sunglasses and of course heels having a tantrum stomping her feet on the spot and waving her arms. I presumed it was a bee and then came an even louder scream - it had stung her. The screaming stopped and she just stood there, I had dealt with such situations many of times in the past. She was crying. I said "Oh Christ.." and walked over to where she was. The sting, which was on her foot, was practically unidentifiable, however after years of experience with Gabrielle the "Pull yourself together" approach doesn't quite work and therefore, being my little sister, she gets a little leniency. I carried her like a baby to where the others were and sat down with her still on my knee and asked "Why were you screaming so much?" she said "I thought they were deadly out here.. What if I get Malaria" and started crying again haha. She really is quite intellectually challenged. 


After having a spiffing time with Elliot I began packing my belongings. This took quite a while, as always, due to the fact that my clothes were scattered around the suite and in other people's suites also. By the time I had finally packed everything it was time to leave. I had a bellboy come and collect my bags then all of us went to my yacht which was to take us to Hamilton Island where the airport was. Well, airport may be a little generous - runway. I spent the journey over in the gym with Elliot and a few minutes prior to our arrival I showered and changed. The distance from the marina to the runway was only short however between us we had 67 items of luggage therefore we had a convoy of SUV's waiting to take us. 


Once on the jet we all took our seats, I sat on the couch this time as I was exhausted and instructed Elliot to sit next to me for leaning purposes. As usual my nerves were uncontrollable whilst taking off however I fell to sleep within half an hour and didn't wake until the huge bump as we hit the runway in Sydney bounced me from my seat. It appeared that everyone else other than Gabrielle and myself had been wide awake for quite some time. Taxiing to the airport seemed to take forever, Gabrielle used to time to perform abnormal stretches in order to rid her self of stiffness and I had Elliot scratch my back (it is simply one of those things I adore - like the cold side of a pillow.)


Once at the cars the drivers asked us where we were going. Each of us looked at one another searching for answer, only, nobody had one... We hadn't booked any accommodation haha. When nobody answered Lee looked to the driver and said "There is a four seasons in Sydney isn't there?" The driver told him that there was and so that was where we headed. When we arrived bellboys came to get the luggage from the cars whilst Kayleigh and myself went inside. We approached the desk and I said "Good Evening, could you tell me which suites you have available, there shall be seven of us accommodating here for a while."  After looking on the computer the man said "We have the presidential suite available, along with a royal suite and four executive suites. Aside from suites we also have a range of guest rooms available." I handed him my American Express and said "Could you book the Presidential suite and the Royal Suite on this card please." Kayleigh said "Swine" as I had taken the two best rooms and then she said "and I shall take an executive. Could you inform me when one of the better ones becomes available please" she too handed him her Black American Express. The others entered the lobby and came to book rooms, I handed Gabrielle the key to The Royal Suite and gave Elliot the spare key to The Presidential Suite, he said "Oh marvellous, do I have the pleasure of sharing a bed with you for the next few days then?" I laughed and said "Sorry to disappoint my friend, it is a two bedroomed suite. Nevertheless, you do have the pleasure of sharing a bed with me for the next few hours..." Whilst in the middle of kissing Kayleigh protested and said "That is so unfair" Elliot and I realised this point was directed at us and she continued "You two slept together a matter of hours ago, you could at least pleasure another one of us!" Elliot replied "Kayleigh dear, you are fully aware of the fact that Kyle and I are homosexuals therefore, obviously, our first choice of person to sleep with is going to be another male. Seeing as Lee is straight we often opt for one another when in a group such as this one." Kelly then said "Kayleigh dear, I plan on going to my room and putting on a pair of jeans to see what's in the bar here. Join me if you wish." With that Elliot and myself went up to our room. 


The suite was absolutely magnificent and boasted spectacular views of the opera house. Like a child, as soon as we got into the suite Elliot went running to get the best room. Upon seeing that his was much better than mine due to having a dressing room and much bigger bathroom I said "Excuse me Elliot however I fear you have forgotten who is paying for the suite. This room is mine." He said "That is barbaric! Countless times I have paid for the room and you have-" I butted in and said "There is no reason for this conversation to continue Elliot. This is my room." Elliot was quite right, he has paid for suites on numerous occasions and I have taken the master bedroom, he ought to be aware by now that I always get my own way haha. As I walked past him to put my holdall on the bed he said "You infuriate me Kyle McQuillan" and then out of nowhere I felt the huge impact of his fist hitting my back. I of course retaliated with more force as I span and punched him on the arm for which I received several blows to the chest and then an attempted kick at my side - I grabbed his leg and then his thigh and lifted him so he fell onto the floor, almost as soon as he had hit the ground he kicked me on the back of the knees and I too was on the floor. When he tried to get up I slid myself through his open legs, grabbed his ankles and pulled them towards me; he managed to save his face from hitting the floor by landing in a press up position before rolling onto his back placing his feet on my chest and sending me flying backwards.  More or less as soon as I had landed he was on top of me punching me in the chest. Oh my life. The pain was indescribable. I rolled over so that I was now on top and subjected him to several punches which were intended to be more painful than the ones I had just received haha. Out of nowhere he grabbed my head and pulled it towards his, I thought he was going to head but me at first however he started kissing me and, let's just say we didn't move from the floor for the next couple of hours or so...


I was woke by Gabrielle phoning me in the morning asking me whether I wanted to go running. I told her I would and so put on my tracksuit, grabbed my i-pod and Blackberry and then went to her room. Her room was rather nice however was quite a lot small than mine. Once ready, with her ipod strapped to her arm she said "I had the concierge give me a running route so we ought to stick to that. If we get lost then we have Satellite Navigation on our phones so it shan't be too much of a problem, or we could just get a chauffeur to come and collect us." I was unaware that we were going running outside and I presumed we would just be going to the gym. In light of this new information I had to go back to my suite to get a pair of sunglasses and when I did so Elliot decided he would join us. 


After an hour and a half we stopped for a short while to purchase a bottle of water, Gabrielle, as usual, took the opportunity to drop into splits, bring her leg up to her head amongst various other abnormal looking stretches. Meanwhile Elliot and myself found from our trainers/watch things that we had ran 9 miles and then Gabrielle said "Oh I thought it would have been more than that. We ought to increase our pace a little. Are you ready to go?" She was not tired in the slightest... As usual. Two hours and 16 miles later Elliot and myself were getting slightly tired, Gabrielle was still fine then she shouted "How many miles have we gone?" I told her it was 25 and she said "The route the concierge gave me was 30 so I suggest we sprint for the next 2 miles and then gradually slow for the final 3." Off she went. Elliot and I maintained a quicker pace however Gabrielle was ahead haha. When we finally arrived back at the hotel I was somewhat exhausted. I felt as though we had just ran around the perimeter of Sydney. Elliot and I were bent over catching our breath and Gabrielle was stood perfectly upright texting someone and then she said "I am actually rather surprised we managed to stick to the route.. Oh my goodness, it wasn't that strenuous the pair of you." We all went into the lift and took it up to our floors. It stopped before it reached ours and Kayleigh and Ellie looked at the three of us in shock. They were dressed for shopping with their sunglasses on and said "Jesus... What a trio!" I must admit, we did look rather peculiar. We all had sunglasses on wearing shorts and vest tops with i-pod armbands on, Elliot and myself were sporting two rather hideous Nike watches which worked with our trainers and i-pods to tell us our pace, distance, calories burnt and change the song according to speed, Gabrielle's boobs were bulging out of her top too they were so squashed in her sports bra haha. Kayleigh said to Gabrielle "Where have you been?" She told them she had been running with us and she said "Why is it that they look disgusting and you look fine?" Gabrielle replied "I wouldn't say fine Kayleigh dear. It is due to the fact that I am a ballerina, my stamina is far superior to theirs and I have less weight to carry. I do a lot of running!" Kelly said "Well I shan't ever be going running with you Gabrielle, I fail to keep with Kyle and it appears he has found it challenging keeping up with you." It is rather comical that they are best friends yet know nothing about one another's exercise regimens. They won't go to the gym with anyone as they claim they look dreadful. I have been with Kelly a few times but she'd much rather go on her own and have a session with her personal trainer (who she sleeps with after each occasion.)


After showering I put on some Dior jeans with a plain white t-shirt and a Louis Vuitton scarf and went with Gabrielle to meet Kayleigh and Kelly for lunch. Lee was with some girls somewhere, Ellie was with friends somewhere and Elliot was going back to bed haha. When we got to the restaurant where we were dining Kelly and Kayleigh had bags from various shops and said "It feels so good to purchase clothes.. I haven't done so for weeks!" I could completely sympathise. I had been craving a visit to Dolce & Gabbana since the day the privilege was taken from me on that wretched island! Therefore it was inevitable that after dinner the four of us went shopping and purchased various items of clothing from most of the nameable designer's stores. I had bought four pairs of jeans, several t-shirts, five pairs of shoes, three pairs of trainers, seven pairs of sunglasses and I can't remember what else. Whilst walking out of Gucci I said to Gabrielle "How much did you just spend?" she replied "Nine thousand.. Yourself?" I replied with a modest "Four" and she said "Oh.. Productive. Mother and Father will know we're still alive when they read their bank statements then. I haven't spoken to them for a few days." Whilst shopping we decided that we would have a night out that evening and so, whilst in Dolce & Gabbana we asked the shop assistants where the exclusive nightclubs in Sydney were; one male in particular was rather good looking and said he would also be out that evening and we may see him there. That was a hint if I have ever heard one. 


A short while and a few thousand pounds later we returned to the hotel and informed the others that we would be going out tonight. I say that as though we would be together. We would result in splitting up - that was unavoidable. I was wearing a new black Alexander McQueen shirt which was a bit see through, that boded well considering my physique haha, a pair of Dolce & Gabbana graphite coloured metallic pants, a pair of Alejandro Ingelmo loafers which were black leather with metallic crocodile pattern down either side, a Fendi belt and a silver Gucci bracelet which had the Gucci crest and a couple of horses heads on. Elliot came out of his bedroom wearing more or less the same thing so I told him to change his colours over, he was then wearing a metallic grey shirt with black pants. The two of us went to the bar in the hotel and ordered a drink. A short while later Lee came downstairs with a girl who I had never seen before, she was wearing some jeans with a blouse and Laboutin heels. Lee introduced her as Lydia or something like that and she sat with us, she was quite pretty but just like all the other girls Lee slept with she was so dim. If I asked her something she would stop gazing around the room to look at me and then drag the word "What?" on for much longer than necessary at which point I would give up. More or less as soon as she had finished her drink Lee said "Well we ought to be leaving shortly so I have you number. I will be sure to call you sometime." He was lying, just like each and every one of us did when those words passed our lips. Once she had left Lee said "Christ, she was like a leech! Three times I have slept with her today because she wouldn't leave and it is impossible to hold a conversation with the girl." Gabrielle, Kelly, Ellie and Kayleigh entered the bar wearing Dolce & Gabbana, Louis Vuitton. Balenciaga and Gabrielle was wearing a rather nice dress with a pair of Givenchy lace boots. We all had a rather large glass of Champagne and a round of shots and then went outside. Whilst awaiting the cars I complimented Gabrielle on her dress and she said "It's by Victoria" (Beckham) "she invited me and mother to the private event in London a short while ago. The lady is lovely and is extremely passionate about designing and due to being a family friend we ought to support her, what's more they are nice dresses. I bought the entire collection." I had a minor moan and said "You get so much more than me!" at which point she said "Kyle do not make such ludicrous comments! Incase you have forgotten your house costs close to four thousand pounds per night and you're not even there for half the year!" ... I always forget about that minor factor when I complain about how much I get haha. 


When we got to the lounge we skipped the queue and were granted access upon giving the doorman a glance at our credit cards. Once inside a member of staff took us directly to a table which was well situated in the lounge however as we passed people did not attempt to disguise the fact that they were staring, which was not a good sign. Do not get me wrong, I simply adore making people's jaws drop and taking over a room when you walk in, however this wasn't like that. It was as though they had never seen a group of good looking, well dressed people before. When we sat at the table Lee said "Have we just entered a sophisticated exclusive lounge or the YMCA, I received the impression that we were in the wrong place the amount of peculiar looks we just got." Kelly butted in and said "Oh I'm sorry, that was my fault... I was helping Gabrielle tuck her breast back in haha, she was exposed!" I laughed and said "Breast? ... Lump of silicone!" Gabrielle slapped me and said "What else was I to do? I was still an A at the age of 18, I blame school!.. Well not school -" An older man (40 ish) from the table behind us, who had clearly been listening to our conversation, butted in and said "Shit, what school was that? A place where they prevent puberty from occurring?!" He turned around to his friends and started laughing and then turned back and said "Actually look at the size of you! It was probably one of those places you go to for thinspiration!" Once again he turned around and started laughing. I was filled with anger and looked at Gabrielle who now had tears in her eyes. I stood up to walk over and punch the man however Kelly stood first and said "Excuse me darlings, this isn't going to be very ladylike but..." she turned to the man and punched him directly in the face and screamed "How dare you!" Gabrielle was now properly crying so I walked over to punch the man for myself, it would have a much greater effect than Kelly's good attempt, however, as I swung my arm back to punch him Elliot grabbed it. I looked at him and said "What on earth are you doing?!" he just said "Kyle don't" I was not in the mood. I could hear my sister crying whilst Kayleigh and Ellie comforted her, Kelly was shouting at the man who was now aware that I was going to punch him and was stood with his friends looking at me. Ellie shouted "What the hell are you doing Elliot! Let go of him!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw the man attempt to hit me so I ducked, missing his punch, only to come back up and head butt Elliot (so that he would let go of me) and then tackled the man to the floor. When I was on top of the man hitting him one of his other friends punched me in the face and then Elliot came flying in out of nowhere and sent the other man flying. Two others then jumped on Elliot and so Lee joined in. The man who I was on top of was punching me in the face and I was doing likewise and then Kelly walked over and shouted "You make me sick!" and kicked him across the face - I personally witnessed his tooth fly out of his mouth. I almost vomited! Then out of nowhere Kelly screamed and went tumbling on top of me whilst the man continued punching me, I heard Lee shout "Don't you dare touch her!" and then Kelly jumped up and presumably punched him and then said "Amazing how a British slut can disfigure a nose!" Then I punched the man in the face for a last time. I may have knocked him out, I wasn't really aware of what was going on. At that point various security man came and hustled all of us outside. 


Once outside all of us were bleeding. Elliot's nose was pouring, the man who I had been fighting with was slumped against a wall, all of the other men had noses on their cheeks, cuts and swollen parts of their face, Lee had a ripped shirt and a bleeding lip and eyebrow and my lip and nose were bleeding. Gabrielle was stood hugging Ellie and Kayleigh and then walked back inside; she shouted something at the manager who was on his way out and then carried on walking. Kayleigh came over and hugged me and said "I think you'd better talk to her Kyle... It's been on her mind a lot lately seeing as she's been thinking about dancing a lot and you're parents brought it up a lot whilst in Paris. It must be hard. None of us ever speak about it." A lady came storming out of the lounge and walked directly over to the man who started the entire uproar and threw her drink in his face and said (in an English accent)  "You are fucking disgraceful! This girl is lovely and you're nothing more than scum!" Gabrielle went over and said "He is honestly not worth it. Just go back inside and enjoy your champagne. Thank you." The girl hugged her and said "Bless you, don't listen to such" she looked at the man and screamed "TWATS! You're beautiful darling. I'll toast to you!" The girl went back inside and Gabrielle handed me a bottle of Cristal and gave another one to Lee then said "I just purchased twelve of these. My parents are going to think I am an Alcoholic" she was not in fact buying the twelve bottles for her self - she had bought them for the people surrounding us in the lounge to apologise for the commotion. In the light Gabrielle looked awful, she had makeup all down her face and she was still crying I hugged her and she cried more which made me do likewise. We stood not speaking for about 5 minutes crying on one another and then Kelly came over and said "Darling, I shed blood for you! There is not many people I would do such a thing for." We looked up and she had a rip in her tights and her knuckles were bleeding, Gabrielle laughed and said "Oh my life Kelly haha!" Kelly laughed and said "Well I am not going to allow someone to speak to you like that am I?" Gabrielle replied "Thank you dear, however I do think Kyle pretty much had that man covered" she turned to me and said "I actually thought you were going to kill him at one point" Kelly laughed and said "I know but I have never punched anyone in the face before and I thought this would be a good motif for loosing my virginity to such a terrible trait. Kyle always does it. It is rather rewarding though I must say." Gabrielle shouted over to Ellie and said "Book a jet darling, I want to go home within the next three hours. I shall go alone if you all want to stay." We all said we too would leave and so phoned the hotel in order to get cars to come and collect us. Whilst we awaited the chauffeurs I went over to Elliot and said "Elliot I do apologise, however I must ask: what on earth were you doing?" he said "Kyle I knew that if you punched that man what happened was going to be inevitable. At least if I tried to prevent you there was a slight chance of you not hitting him or he could have just left.  You just always jump in fists first and don't use your head... Pardon the pun as this evening you used your head with great force! You are fully aware that I was completely on your side though as as soon as the fight had commenced I didn't waste much time trying to prevent it." I said "Well Elliot, you of all people are aware that if I am going to hit someone, I am going to hit them.. I am sorry for the headbut though, where did I get?" He looked at me and said "Where do you think?" as though I was stupid. I examined his face and the bloodiest part was his nose, I guessed at this and was correct. I didn't mean to get him that hard... I hope I haven't created a horrendous reputation for myself with the readers of this blog as it seems that each time I write I seem to be getting into some sort of fight with a stranger. I just want you to know that I do not do it without a good motif and a lot of the time it is because I am defending my peers. We left for London that evening and endured the same flight we did a number of weeks ago in reverse. About half way through the journey when we were all awake talking about various things to do with the past we reached some turbulence. As soon as the cabin attendant mentioned it I stopped speaking, clutched the armrest and put my head to my chest with my eyes shut. It was horrendous! The steward was falling all over the place and had to go and sit in his own seat as instructed by the pilot. Kelly offered me her hand as I was in obvious distress however groaned in pain and then replaced it with Lee's hand haha. 


Once back in London I went straight home to go to bed and slept in for the majority of the next day (Saturday.) Once I had showered and taken the dog running I went to my parents house where my mother greeted me by saying "Oh you're alive?" I said "Yes mother of course I am alive" to which she replied "Kyle dear you say that as though it is obvious, the only thing which informed me that you weren't dead was my credit card... Anyway, did you have a good time? What on earth have you done to your face?" After being quizzed about that for a while my father came in and said "Oh my, been squabbling again have you? I sincerely hope they look worse than you do" my mother hit him and said "Harold! You should not encourage him to fight! It reflects badly on us as parents. I have brought you up better than that Kyle" my father said "I fear fighting is the least of your worries about us looking like bad parents..." Oh my goodness.. They make me out to be some sort of devil child! Following my short interrogation I asked where Gabrielle was when my father answered "I have no idea.. She went out fairly early this morning. To be honest she seems a little distant, well - more distant than normal which is a little worrying... Did something happen in Australia?" I told them everything was fine and looked for an excuse to leave. I went and got my father's Bugatti and drove to the first place I thought she would be: The Pineapple Dance Studios. Whilst on my way I received a message from my father saying "Kyle, why has the tracker for my Bugatti just turned on?" I replied saying "I have no idea father..." ever so innocently and he said "You my son are a swine. I love you all the same though, however, crash it and I shall be loving a corpse." 


When I arrived there I asked where she was and went to the studio. I stood outside the window for a while and watched her as she leaped around the room and did various spins etc. Once the song had stopped I went inside. Unlike normal she seemed a little upset and said "How did you know I'd be here?" I said "Because Gabrielle you always used to say to me, nobody's life is perfect but when I'm dancing all of my worries sink into the depths of my mind and I escape reality" she did a weak smile and said "Let's go and get a drink." As we walked down the corridor there was a girl about sixteen a little further down wearing pointe shoes crying on the phone saying "My audition is tomorrow and I do not have any choreography. My future depends on this!" Gabrielle asked her whether she was ok and the girl merely said "Yes" and we walked on by. When we returned the girl was stood crying hysterically with her head in her hands. Gabrielle went over and said "Darling, you are clearly not ok and believe me I know how you feel. Where is it you're auditioning for?" The girl gave a name of a dance school and Gabrielle said "and what do you have so far?" The girl told her "Nothing" and Gabrielle replied "I am prepared to help you with your audition if you wish, however I completely understand if you would rather do it alone." The girl accepted Gabrielle's offer and then Gabrielle said "Right. What song are you performing to?" I can't remember what the girl said but Gabrielle said "Oh no, cliché... Kyle run and get my ipod. Meanwhile I need to see your ability in jumps and turns..." When I returned Gabrielle was jumping sidewards in the mirror and her legs were forming a perfect straight line either side of her before landing again on her toes. Once I was inside the studio Gabrielle said, "Kyle, come and hold me in this jump for a second" I held Gabrielle in the air whilst she talked the girl through the jump and then she watched as she too performed one and said "Marvellous, that is perfect!" Following this Gabrielle taught her how to perform some strange tip-toe movement by making frequent small steps to get across the room. The girl found it a little hard at first however once they broke it down she managed. I literally could have watched it all day! After about an hour Gabrielle said "When did you say your audition was?" The girl replied "Late afternoon tomorrow and then I go back to Cheshire tomorrow evening." Gabrielle replied "Oh, where are you staying whilst here? Are your parents here too?" she said "No, they had to work. I'm in the Travel Lodge, it's all I could afford after paying for this studio." Gabrielle then said "Have you booked a studio for tomorrow morning?" The girl replied "No, I have no money, plus I have to get across London to audition." Gabrielle sighed and said "Well you shall have a studio tomorrow and you shall make it to the audition in time and what's more you most certainly will not be accommodating in the Travel Lodge tonight. I will find you alternative accommodation." The girl immediately said "No" when Gabrielle replied "Dearest, I have a Black American Express and a Ferrari. You are really not putting me out of my way what so ever." The girl came over and hugged Gabrielle and then said "I cannot thank you enough!" Gabrielle said "Do not mention it. What's more, I attended The Royal Ballet and you have nothing to perform for an audition which is in a days time, I feel my help could be somewhat beneficial." The girl then got extremely excited about Gabrielle's schooling and I left. 


I got back to my parents house and they told me they were departing for Milan. I said "Oh I didn't know you were going away" my mother said "Well if you kept in touch dear.. Where is your sister?" I just said she had gone to Kelly's and then she said "Oh well do tell her it was nice seeing her for the whole four hours I did" I said "Is it our fault that you are leaving for Milan when your children have just returned from Australia? What are you going for anyway?" She told me it was for the fashion events and that she wanted my father to treat her, I said "Ugh, I don't get any treats from Dad" I was of course joking and my mother said "Oh you do have a cheek Kyle McQuillan. It is difficult for one to treat their child when he purchases everything he could possibly want at your expense." ... I didn't really have an answer for that one. My mother then asked whether I would mind taking them to the airport, normally I would, however it is an excuse to drive one of their cars with permission haha. I went to where all of the car keys are kept and had a rummage before eventually I choosing the Bentley. 


Whilst on the way to the airport with my mother, father and Pretitia - my mother's Shiba Inu, in the back of the car I thought I would give them a little adrenaline rush and go a bit quicker. As I reached 85 my mother said "Kyle, how fast are you going?" I just nonchalantly said "Not much more than the limit mother" as we approached 95. Once I was at 110 she said "Kyle slow down immediately before you kill us all" I didn't and she said "Harold!" at which point my father said "Kyle do as your mother tells you" so I did haha. Once we had returned to a reasonably boring speed my mother said "Why is it that you'll do as your father tells you but you completely ignore me?" I laughed and said "Because Haz is boss!" When we arrived at the airport I got out of the car to say goodbye, kissed my mother and then went to hug my father who squoze me and whispered "Stay away from my cars you swine" and then squoze a little harder until my spine cracked, I then tightened my grip around him and said "How are you going to stop me?" and then returned the favour and cracked his spine. 


Later that evening, after having been to the gym and returning to my parents house Gabrielle came home. I asked where the girl was and she said "Oh I took her to your hotel and got her a room there... I doubt we'll even have to pay. What are we having for tea?" I replied "You ask as though you expect me to know... I have no idea. Do you want to go out or shall I ring Jake?" She told me to ring Jake which I did and told him to come round. Seconds later Gabrielle screamed at the top of her voice and came running back into the kitchen and stood behind me. I had no idea what was going on and then Jake came walking in saying "What on earth is wrong with you?" I said "Oh my goodness, that was quick!" He said "I was in the gym when you phoned me you imbecile.. What's up with you?" Gabrielle got her breath back and said "You almost gave me a heart attack! Coming thumping up the stairs in your tracksuit.. Anyway, what are we having for tea?" he said "What ever you like Gabrielle. What did you have in mind?" She replied "Steak, what do you want Kyle?" I said I too would have steak and then Gabrielle said "Well why don't we just sit in the media room all night and watch films and eat stuff which is undeniably bad for us?" I said it sounded like a good idea and then she said "So can we have scones, sushi, sorbet..." Jake smiled and said "Why of course.. I shall just shower and get to it straight away. How are we having our stakes this evening? The usual, Rare and Blue?" We both nodded and I said "Almost raw if you please." 


After we had eaten our tea we went into the media room where Jake had laid out a number of silver platters displaying various delicious foods, Muffins, Cup-cakes, Sushi... The dogs joined us on the couch and we watched In Her Shoes whilst enjoying a glass of wine. Once we had finished watching that film we put Billy Elliot on which we both simply adore. This film inevitably raised the subject of dancing. Gabrielle told me how she enjoyed her day with Jade (presumably that girl's name) and how she had been thinking a lot about dancing lately; at one point she began to cry and said "There are doors which I have forced shut and refused to open for quite some time now. It's as though I've had a past life Kyle and I hate it. I think I want to go back to School for a look around. I haven't been back since I left and it's the place where I spent 7 years of my life, some of my happiest memories are from there and I have completely shut it off... That said, I doubt I could go back to Florida yet." We have a house in Florida where the four of us would go as a family every year when Gabrielle and I were at school and then we would often go elsewhere from there for the rest of the summer. When Gabrielle became ill the two of us moved to Florida for a few weeks whilst she recovered. This was the most devastating time of my life and I wouldn't want to wish a similar experience on anyone. We have never been back since, nor have my parents...


In the morning Gabrielle woke up early and went to the dance studio again with Jade whilst I invited someone round for obvious reasons. Once I was sexually satisfied I went to go and meet Kayleigh and Ellie for lunch however stopped by the studio to say good luck to Jade. When I got inside Gabrielle was stressing and said "Oh thank god you're here! Where are you parked?" I told her where and she said "Oh Gordon Bennett.. Here take my car, will you take Jade to her audition, she cannot be late. Jade I do apologise. Ensure you fasten your seat belt and have something to hold on to." She threw me her keys and then said to Jade "When you get there run through it one final time and then do some barre work. Good luck my love. I will collect you in a few hours and take you to the train station if you wish.." Jade said "Oh no, I shall be fine. You have done enough. I will be sure to keep in touch. Gabrielle I cannot thank you enough, you have been such a help!" They hugged and then Gabrielle said "Well be sure to let me know when you receive your letter. I took the liberty of booking you on a first class train home, I wouldn't feel right knowing you were travelling all that way in economy." Jade and I went to the car park and got in Gabrielle's car and once inside she said "Why did she tell me to hold on? Can you not drive very well?" I laughed and said "Oh please. I drive exceptionally well, just fast" she let go of the door and said "Oh, bring it on! haha" I laughed and put the music on full blast and went from 0 - 60 haha. Once I had said good bye to Jade I phoned Gabrielle to ask where she was and whether or not she wanted to come for dinner, she said "I'm at your house.. I couldn't go any further in that wretched car. I got pulled over twice!" I asked how on earth she managed to do that and she said "Well you only have to touch the pedal and it goes zooming off. It is horrendous! I would press the pedal, fly about 500 metres, have a panic attack and hit the break until I stopped and do the whole routine all over again. Both of the officers were men though so I just explained how the car was new and pouted a little and everything was ok... I shall join you for lunch, come and collect me, I have some clothes here I think." After lunch Gabrielle and I went shopping and then met our friend Chloe and Julia in London in a lounge for a few drinks in the evening. Prior to going home I made a few phone calls and had a marvellous night with Stephen.


For the rest of the week I have been going to the gym, meeting with friends, meeting with random people... Nothing out of the ordinary really. 


I shall write soon,

Much love, 

Kyle. 

4 January 2009

New Year

When I spoke to you I was in Paris and had planned to stay up the majority of the night enabling me to sleep through the flight to Australia the next morning. Well that I did. The most ideal way for me to stay up all night is to sleep with someone. With this is mind I got my laptop and opened the address book and looked at all of the entries for Paris. I recalled sleeping with a personal trainer during fashion week however could not remember his name for the life of me. I typed in fashion week and got about 30 entries so I added personal trainer to the search criteria and got Jean. His description was: Met in a nightclub in Paris during fashion week October 2008. Works as a personal trainer at a gym whilst also working for private clients, one of which is Liam. Kelly took a liking to Liam and slept with him and then whilst she slept with Jean in the morning Liam and I had oral sex. Gabrielle also slept with Liam (unaware of the fact we had had relations.) I sent a message to Jean informing him of my whereabouts for the night and he replied saying: Well that's too much of a good opportunity to miss... Chanel at The Ritz as usual? I told him he was correct. Gabrielle was sat next to me at the time and said "Who is that that you're messaging?" I told her it was Jean and she said "Kyle no. I refuse to listen to you having sex all night long. It's sickening." I told her it was tough and she said "Fine then, I shall go to Mum and Dads room and when they ask why I am there I shall merely explain how you are going to be having sex all night and I don't want to listen." I said "Gabrielle! You can't do that. Can't you just sleep with someone too and then you won't be able to hear. Please Gabrielle it is a requirement that I sleep with this man." She agreed and then took out her own laptop, I asked her what she was doing and she said "Look for a man whom I can sleep with." I went over and hugged her and said "My sister is turning promiscuous just like her older sibling. I'm so proud." I then kissed her on the forehead and messed up her hair then she said "Kyle, I am doing this on the condition that you do pas de deux with me tomorrow." I groaned and she said "It's hardly strenuous for you.." I just agreed to shut her up. When she says pas de deux she is referring to ballet partnering. No I cannot perform ballet however she likes practising lifts and other boring things like that with me.. Joy! 


Whilst I was sorting things out in my bedroom Gabrielle opened the door and started talking to someone, then bellowed "Kyle." I went to the foyer and saw Jean stood in a deep crew neck t-shirt and fleece tracksuit bottoms. His chest is amazing! He was talking in french to Gabrielle and she said "Oh I forgot about that minor communication difficulty between us.. Kyle tell him that I just messaged Lee to see whether he wished to meet up however he is in Cheshire in England for Christmas and New Year." I didn't tell him and said to Gabrielle "Oh my goodness, if only you'd have known.. I imagine you would have skipped Paris and taken a drive to the Knutsford house" she said "My sentiments exactly.. Nevertheless someone else is coming." I didn't get chance to see who Gabrielle had invited round as Jean and I didn't waste much time. At about half past 2 in the morning, whilst still having intercourse the room phone rang and I picked it up saying "Yes?" It was my father and he said "Reception just phoned informing us of noise coming from your room and thought you and Gabrielle may have been having a fall out due to banging and shouting. What's going on?"  I had to prevent my self from laughing and Jean was kissing and caressing me which made it all the more worse. I wasn't aware Gabrielle was on the line and she said "Erm it's Kyle on the toilet.." I knew she would say something idiotic like this so when she said 'erm' I spoke over her and said "Gabrielle and I couldn't sleep due to jet-lag so she made me practise Swan Lake with her and I keep getting it wrong" he was half asleep and said "Kyle you loser!" and hung up. How I came up with that I will never know. Gabrielle said "Better excuse than mine haha" I just said "Imbecile" put the phone down and picked up from where I left off. 


I didn't end up going to sleep until 5 o'clock and at 6 I woke up and clicked on my phone to see the time. As normal I had numerous missed calls (13 on this occasion) and 9 messages. I quickly viewed the missed call list and noticed there was a couple from Kelly when it began ringing again. I grunted down the phone and she said "Kyle I am having a catastrophe! I have to take Bruno to Australia with me!" Bruno is her chocolate brown Labrador which is extremely playful, I said "What on earth or you talking about? Why can't your parents have him or put him in a kennel?" She said "Kyle I am not putting my dog in a Kennel! Plus my parents have already left for Dubai and said they won't have him. I have phoned the resort in Australia and they said they will overlook the normal rules which apply and will have someone walk him on a daily basis and look after him when I am unable to. Will you take Maddox then I don't feel like a penis by myself?" I agreed as I had barely seen him for a while and it would also encourage me to do more exercise with him there. She then said "Are you flying commercially?" I told her how I wasn't and why I ended up being in Paris and she said "Well Lee, Ellie and myself are flying via jet also however we have a large one. Why don't we get you on the way?" I said "Kelly, it's not a taxi service, it's a plane they can't just land where ever they feel like it" she didn't sound the slightest bit hesitant and said "Oh it's fine darling, I do it all the time. I will make it happen. I shall be leaving for the airport in half an hour or so, I suggest you get up. I shall message you in a short while just to clarify." I told her she would have to collect Maddox from my house prior to leaving and she said "Ok that's fine, I shall send my father's assistant now. I have some keys in my bag. See you soon." It seems everyone has keys to my house haha. I got up straight away and went into Gabrielle's room and shouted her. She didn't wake up so I walked over and shook her a little. I caught a glimpse at the man who she had slept with too, very nice indeed! I told her of the plans and she said "Sugar, ring the hairdresser for me quick and get out because I have no undergarments on.." With that I left and after ringing the hairdresser got into the shower. 


I practically ran out of the shower to get ready and Jean woke up and said "Well isn't this a pleasant awakening.. Come back to bed" I looked over my shoulder at the inviting bed which Jean was currently taking the attention away from with his chizzled upper body and perfect face and said "Words cannot describe my desire to do so but I am in a rush" I quickly put on some underwear and then ran out of the bedroom to look for my phone which was bleeping. I ran through the lounge and read the message from Kelly saying Just on my way to Heathrow, I expect we shall be in the air in about 45 minutes so I shall see you in about an hour and a half ish or however long it takes these days.. Your dog is driving me insane, he's extremely hyperactive and bouncing around the car x I looked up from my phone and Gabrielle looked at me in her makeup mirror and said "For crying out loud Kyle put some clothes on, I have no longing to see you in your underwear" the hairdresser was trying not to look haha. I told Gabrielle that Maddox would be joining us on the trip and she gasped and then shouted "Bambi!" her little Pomeranian came running and she picked her up saying "Who wants to come with Mummy to Australia.. Is Bambi going on a little holiday?!" ... Gabrielle is a special child :). 


I went back into the bedroom and put on a jumper from Prada which had brown leather elbow patches with some Dior jeans, brown Vivienne Westwood pirate boots, a brown Gucci belt and a gold rolex. I asked Jean to carry my cases into the foyer for me whilst I phoned for 2 bellboys to come and collect the luggage. When I walked out into the lounge Gabrielle and the hairdresser were watching Jean bend down to put my trunk on the floor. Deliberately to be a swine I walked over and groped him and then kissed his neck, Gabrielle said "Oh thank you.. You just eradicated the fantasy from my mind." She was putting the finishing touches to her makeup and her hairdresser was just applying hairspray to her curls. Once that was done she ran into her bedroom to get dressed. Moments later she came out wearing a vest with rope detailing from Celine, a pair of pvc leggins, a black open cardigan from James Perse which was shaped like a cape, a pair of black suede webbed heels from Fendi and a new python Chloe bag. The man who she'd slept with came out shortly afterwards carrying luggage, when she noticed him putting them on the trolley she shouted "Stop! There's an order..." Then she ordered him to take two of them off and go and get her shopping bags from the bedroom - notice she has only slept with him once and she already has him under the thumb. He came back to the hallway with his hands full with shopping bags. Just to put it into perspective he bashed into everything and scraped the walls as he walked and he made got 3 loads of them. I said "Gabrielle what on earth?" she just said "Well if mother and father didn't insist upon coming straight here from Aspen I would have been able to go home and sort out my luggage, however that wasn't possible so I had to purchase new things whilst here, I do have a few things unworn in my cases though and all of the things I recieved to Christmas... Will those bags fit in any of your cases?" I replied with "No Gabrielle, they would barely shut. You'll just have to throw them in the hold loose or leave them in the cabin." I said goodbye to Jean and Gabrielle did like wise to the man who she'd slept with and we told them to shower and then leave the hotel. I grabbed my new one of a kind Dolce & Gabbana holdall (given upon invitation only, Gabrielle has a handbag too, they're amazing) and then Gabrielle and I set off to the ground floor in order to get a chauffeur. As we stood in the lift Gabrielle exclaimed "Oh my goodness.. Mum and Dad don't even know we're leaving!" Quite right they didn't haha. It seems we had been so preoccupied all morning that we had forgotten to inform our parents of our departure haha. We went back upstairs to their room and frantically knocked on the door in an attempt of hurrying them. When my father opened the door I went rushing in past him to the living area where my mother was tapping away on her laptop and said "Good bye mother we're leaving now, love you and I shall see you in the New Year" I kissed her and gave her a quick hug and then Gabrielle and I crossed paths as I went to say goodbye to my father, I said "Bye dad" and then he grabbed my arm, tightly, and said "You're not going to see me until the new year Kyle. You could at least give me a hug" I did so and due to his deliberate force every bone in my spine cracked. When he turned his back to me to walk away I swung my arm back and went to punch him however he span and grabbed my fist in his hand and began to tighten his grip, he did so until I was experiencing an immense amount of pain and was on my knees saying "Daaaaddd..." Then Gabrielle hit him over the head with her bag and said "Will you stop, we are in a rush"  he took one scoop of his arm and lifted Gabrielle off the floor, she just started screaming and shouted my mother, she knew what was going on and came around the corner saying "Harold grow up and let the children go." He did so and said "I do apologise.. Have a lovely trip and behave." Finally Gabrielle and I left, about 10 minutes behind schedule. 


Having already been to the toilet 6 times since arriving at the airport we approached the parked jet where Louis Vuitton trunks where currently being loaded and Maddox came bounding out of the plane and jumped up at me. Bambi became agitated in her bag which my sister was carrying and was yapping repeatively. We climbed the stairs onto the plane where Kelly was sprawled on the couch with a blanket talking to Bruno who was sat on the floor and then she shouted "Excuse me" the air stuard came out of the galley and she said "Could you take Bruno outside for me to urinate please, thank you." I added and said "Oh also could you take Maddox, he will just go with you" Gabrielle attached the Louis Vuitton lead to the matching collar around Bambi's neck and handed her to the stuard also... I pointed towards the door and said "toilet maddox" and he just went running out. Lee was sat on one of the arm chairs on the phone to someone and Kayleigh was sat on the couch next to Kelly. I sat down in the opposite Lee and my stomach began doing somersaults as always. Gabrielle sat on the other couch and began having a conversation with Kelly and Kayleigh about who was going to be in Australia who they disliked. When Lee got off the phone he said "Gordon Benett.. Rough night last night Kyle? You look like death" I lowered my eyebrows and said "Thank you for pointing that out Lee." I put my sunglasses back on and said no more then he said "Oh crap, I forgot that you would be unable to see the funny side of things due to your fear. No chance of a blowjob on this flight then?" I looked at him in complete disgust and said "No!" whilst Gabrielle exclaimed "Eugh! How repulsive" Lee then said "Not to worry there are three other girls here who I imagine would be more than willing" I glared at him with an emotionless face and he said "2 girls here who would be willing, not including Gabrielle of course." I turned to look out of the window again and said "You do realise that I would have no problem with punching you in the face Lee.." he said "I don't doubt that you would Kyle and I wish to prevent it by all means.. I have seen you do it to others and do not wish to experience it." Maddox then came flying through the door and placed his head on my lap for me to stroke him and then the stuard reappeared with Bruno and Bambi. The stuard closed the doors and asked us to fasten our seatbelts, I took deep breaths and listened to calming music on my ipod - the sound only makes the experience worse. 


It was quarter past 8 when we finally took off and within 15 minutes of being in the air I had fallen to sleep. I woke a couple of times to see Lee Kayleigh and Kelly talking whilst Gabrielle was passed out on the couch with Bambi on top of her. The next time I awoke it was 3 o'clock and the stuard was giving us lunch. I looked around at everyone who was sat up looking exhausted. Lee could barely keep his eyes open, Kelly was sat up blinking heavily, Gabrielle was fishing around in her bag and Kayleigh was tying her hair up. The stuard came out and gave us all some late lunch consisting of a pianni with salad. Gabrielle returned from the toilet wearing a cashmere Juicy Couture tracksuit, that reminded me to change my outfit however out of fear, much to Gabrielle's displeasure, I remained where I was and changed. I put on a pair of Nike fleece tracksuit bottoms and my black D&G boxing hoody. Kelly did as I did and just stood up in front of us all and removed her skirt and top until she was stood wearing only a corset, knickers, suspenders and heels she then went into her handbag and pulled out dressing gown and put that on, Lee groaned and said "Jesus Christ Kel.. Are you trying to kill me? Stuck on here for goodness knows how much longer and your displaying your body and provocative lingerie." Kelly laughed and looked at me and said "Is he?" I moved my foot up to his crotch area and said "He most certainly is" Kelly laughed and said "I have that effect on most." 


The flight had been tailored to suit our needs. From the jet which was intended to fly 14 passengers (minimized the number of stops necessary) to the fact that we would be making that 1 stop before Hamilton Island in Hong Kong where the first class lounge offers showering suites and a bar resembling that of a sophisticated wine bar as opposed to an airport. After having something to eat I changed my seat into a bed and went straight back to sleep. At half past 7 the air steward came into the cabin to tell us that we would be landing shortly. It seemed that the only person who hadn't been sleeping was Kayleigh and looked as though she was having a mental breakdown. I looked at her and she just stared at me and said "I think I am about to go insane.." Gabrielle woke up and said "Ugh thank god we're here" Lee corrected her and told her that we were only half way there when she said "Are you actually joking me? I am going to shoot myself in a minute, I've never been so bored and we're only half way!" I ignored Gabrielle's complaints and gripped the armrest for the duration of the descent. When we had landed despite being told to remain seated whilst the plane taxied we all got up to get our holdalls which contained yet another change of clothes. Whilst I got up to do so Gabrielle dropped into the splits right in the aisle and when I tried to get past her I said "Gabrielle must you do so right here?" she just looked at me and said "Yes Kyle I must, I'm seizing up!" Once we had stopped the steward opened the door and we all alighted from the jet and got onto a buggy which took us to the terminal. Meanwhile the steward took the dogs to use the toilet and, I imagine, cleaned out their litter tray etc. I felt little bit sorry for him, tending to 3 dogs as well as 5 passengers haha. 


Once inside the terminal the 5 of us walked straight to the first class lounge, Kelly's father had already phoned ahead and ensured that we would be granted access and that we would be able to use the showering facilities. We agreed to meet at the bar after having showered when Gabrielle, Kelly and Kayleigh said "No! Kyle we are going to have towels wrapped around our heads.. I cannot sit at a bar in such a mess! We shall meet at the jet in about half an hour or so." I showered and changed my previous tracksuit for a pair of black Armani Collezioni bottoms with a matching zip up jacket, the zip was only done up two thirds of the way so chest muscle was visible. Usually, after having landed from a flight I am relaxed and anticipating the events which lie ahead however on this occasion the only event which currently lay ahead was an eleven hour flight to Hamilton Island, something I was not thrilled about, hence the reason I went straight to the bar after having showered. As I approached the bar I saw a blonde male in a suit who was about my age and rather good looking, he looked at me as I walked towards the bar and I looked him up and down and smiled. I sat two seats down from the man who was now staring at me and ordered a Martini. He said "Is that not a little strong for quarter past four in the afternoon?" I smiled and said "Normally yes, however given the circumstances no" he replied "Oh I see, if you don't mind me asking what would they be?" I laughed and said "I am about to board yet another 12 hour flight on a private jet which is a traumatic experience due to my fear of flying and because of that flight I am unable to sleep with the rather good looking man sat next to me, despite my great desire to do so." He laughed and said "Somebody certainly isn't shy are they. An admirable quality, I see you have many" he looked at my chest "and I imagine you have plenty more which I simply must see, or experience. Where are you from?" I told him my home is in London but I don't really live anywhere and he said "Well that bodes well. I currently reside in Chicago however my job takes me to all major cities, hopefully we will one day cross paths." I finished my drink and he handed my a business card and said "I hope you will be in touch. It would be idiotic of me to let such a good opportunity get away." I took the card from him, picked up my bag and said "Well a phone call or message is dependant on your luck. I may see you in the future.." He smiled and said "Well I shall prey for the arrival of that message, it was a pleasure meeting you." I walked to the exit of the lounge where I found Gabrielle staring blankly at a Chinese member of staff wearing a different tracksuit, enormous sunglasses and had a towel wrapped around her head, the chinese lady was saying "We cannot allow you to take the towel from the lounge" Gabrielle clearly wasn't understanding a word of what she was saying and when she saw me coming said "Kyle can you understand this Hong Kongish lady, I don't know what she wants" I told her how she was talking about the towel and Gabrielle just said "Oh, I am sorry" she took her purse out of her bag and handed her a twenty pound note (english money) and said, very slowly "Here take this and buy yourself something nice, or if it really concerns you that much, replace the towel." She then walked out of the door and I followed whilst the chinese lady stood with a twenty pound note in her hand looking blank. 


When we got back onto the jet Kelly was sat straddling Lee kissing him, Gabrielle and I looked at one another and just went back to our seats. I did not doubt that either one of them would have a problem with having sex right infront of us. Gabrielle took the words right out of my mouth and said "If this is going to carry on further can you go into the other part of the plane" Kelly looked at her and said "Why dear, it would be educational and entertaining" Lee said "Oh no, Gabri-" I shot him a warning look at he stopped mid-sentance and turned his attention back to Kelly. I like the fact that I keep them all in order haha. Maddox came bounding back onto the plane so I chased him around for a while and had a fight with him until Kayleigh appeared and once again we had to prepare for another gruelling flight. My stomach did its usual routine and once again my knuckles turned white whilst gripping the armrest as we went down the runway. I went to sleep yet again however this time it was only for 3 hours I could sleep no more. Whilst I had been sleeping Lee and Kelly had passed the time by having sex in the other section of the plane whilst Gabrielle and Kayleigh slept. 


After two hours of talking about who we were planning to sleep with out of the people whom we knew were going to be in Australia and bitching about those whom we disliked the boredom really was unbearable. With seven hours of the flight left I was suicidal. Gabrielle moved seats about five times as she thought it might have helped the boredom somehow, she spent some time sat on my knee for some inexplicable reason and when Lee said she could sit on his she said "No thank you dear, you probably just had, do excuse the vulgarity, Kelly's vagina near your mouth" Kelly butted in and said "Near? Gabrielle what do you think he was doing, blowing on it?" She said "Oh shush, everyone always makes out like I'm thick.." Lee said "And you're not?" she said "No, you all just think I am because I'm blonde and have fake boobs" Lee said "Oh right, well, what was that place where we just stopped off at?" She correctly said "Hong Kong" and then Lee said "What country's that in Gabrielle?" She smirked and said "Nice try, it is a country." Lee humoured her and said "Haha, oh she is intelligent" he rolled his eyes at the rest of us "Whilst on the topic of Geography, what's the capital of Rome" she always says the same thing and he finds it hilarious every time "Romania." I have no idea why she says this as she goes on countless trips to Rome and is fully aware that it is a city, I just don't think she has ever made the correlation. Oh well the gentle abuse helped pass the time. Gabrielle then said "Now that my integration" (interrogation) "is complete I'm going to do some bar work." She took a pair of pointe shoes out of her bag and put them on and then walked over to the armchair and began doing stationary ballet work, consisting of all sorts of abnormal movements and positions. One of which involved her left leg being placed behind her turned away from her body and then she outstretched her arms and bent over backwards touching the floor with her hands right by her feet. She looked like an invertebrate! Kelly expressed how wrong the position looked and then she lifted her right leg so that it made a straight line with her left which was still on the floor. Whilst doing other things the others expressed their amazement and she said "Kyle can do this" Lee lowered his eyebrows and said "Masculine Kyle" I said "Lee she has insisted upon teaching me since I was four years old and the teaching only got more intense once she began school and continued to do so throughout her time there, some of it was bound to have an effect. Elliot can do it too and the pair of us have the ability to kill you. Rather remarkable for such masculine people wouldn't you say?" He laughed and said "Oh touche Kyle. I didn't mean any harm, you know I love you really" and then came over, grabbed my head and kissed me on the forehead. Masculine... Especially for a straight person.


The rest of the flight involved repeated groans and the expression of one's boredom in five minute intervals. After the traumatic landing experience we all more or less piled out of the door out of sheer desperation for fresh air and a change of scenery. Once on the tarmac we were greeted by the heat and various blacked out 4x4's. It was 7 in the evening and upon realising this the girls began hurrying the staff from the airport assigned to the role of putting the luggage into the cars. I sat in one of the four cars and stared out of the window when I realised the vast amount of private jets which were present at the small airport. Evidently the majority of my peers had chartered them in order to come to the private island. I travelled in the car with Kayleigh to the harbour where we boarded Kayleigh's exceptionally large yacht. The crew loaded the cases onboard with haste as we were somewhat rushed and we departed once again heading towards Hayman island. All of us went on deck and opened of a bottle of Cristal and stood in our sunglasses getting incredibly excited about the upcoming party. After finishing the Champagne we all moved on to different beverages made by the crew and began getting ready. I contemplating taking a shower however thought it unnecessary as it had been a while since I last had sex and would want to do so upon my arrival at the island, thus I went and phoned my mother. I hadn't had chance to ask her what she was doing to New Year so I took the opportunity "Oh hello darling, your father and I are just leaving to go to the airport. We are flying to Monaco in a short while to spend the New Year with the Greens and Jim Walton and his delightful wife Lynn either at the casino or Hotel de Paris, we haven't quite decided yet. It shall be marvellous as I haven't seen them in a while..." I stopped paying attention and then she said "your father is meeting up with Vivi as soon as we arrive to go out for a few drinks whilst I go shopping with the ladies" upon saying this she had all my attention. Oh my goodness. My father's best friend and womaniser Vivi Nevo who I must say I have always had a minor liking towards. I know it is repulsive as he is old enough to be my father and he is not obviously good looking however his attitude and chizzled face makes him somewhat attractive. I am unsure of whether you will be able to locate him on an internet search as last I heard he had PR firms who kept him out of the public eye, that said he recently had relations with Kate Moss which I imagine gained him a little unwanted publicity. 


Upon arriving at the island we disembarked from the yacht and left the luggage with the hotel staff whilst we got into golf buggies which took us to the hotel. As we passed the pool I noticed a few sleeping beauties by the pool side, clearly parties have already been taking place haha. It was gorgeous men in shorts galore, not to mention the amount of visible silicone boobs were in their abundance. Whilst passing the pool I spotted Elliot asleep with his sunglasses on and mouth ajar. I jumped off the buggy whilst still moving and walked over to him. I crawled onto his bed and straddled him and he woke up and said "Oh good afternoon, evening.. Christ my body clock is retarded" I stopped him midsentance and said "Elliot please don't bore me, I have been travelling for the past 25 hours meaning I haven't sex for an exceptionally long time.." he said "Oh I see.." and began kissing me. Whilst in the midst of doing so I heard "Oh my goodness Kyle!" I looked up and saw a girl called Erin I knew from going out in London however she moved to Newcastle and I haven't seen her for two years, she said "Fuck me it's been a while!" Still the same old vulgar self.. "Indeed it has dear, how the devil are you?" she told me she was fine and then said "Is this your boyfriend then?" Elliot and I looked at one another and then I said "Erin my love, it has only been two years, have you completely forgotten all of the rules which I live by?" She laughed and said "Still the same slut you always were then, Jesus I'm envious, still shagging 3 a week?" I said "Oh do be serious dear.. 4 at least, some more than once" she laughed and then said "Well before I turn green with envy I must go, I don't have long to get ready, I shall see you later on this evening." As soon as she walked away Elliot said "Who on earth was she?" I told him how I knew he her and he said "Boyfriend? Is she serious" I said "Elliot to be fair you are topless and I am straddled on top of you with my arms wrapped around your neck... I don't care about her anyway, cow. She clearly kept in touch with some people from London otherwise she wouldn't be here. Most probably so she could continue having sex, she was always abysmal at getting men whilst out. Anyway, your room?" 


After much needed intercourse I was incredibly rushed to get ready.. I ran from Elliot's villa to my suite and got straight into the shower and then began getting ready. I had purchased a Dolce & Gabanna ensemble for the evening which consisted of metallic grey pants, a slim fitting white shirt and a silver tie with a tie clip from Tiffany &co. Then it was time for the usual trauma of accessories and shoes. I chose a black leather monogram Gucci belt, a pair of Balenciaga shoes and a diamond encrusted GMT Master II Rolex. Once ready I put on some aftershave, grabbed my Blackberry and took myself next door to Kelly's room. She was stood in the mirror turning from side to side wearing a satin Trapeze dress by Alexander McQueen and a pair of Giuseppe Zanotti gladiator heels. Before she had chance to speak Kayleigh came charging in saying "Christ, will you zip me in..." She was wearing a srapless grey Yves Saint Laurent bustier dress with bronzey coloured Yves Saint Laurent heels from the tribute collection which were absolutely enormous. Whilst they both stared at themselves in the mirror I told them how I had crossed paths with Erin earlier in the evening, Kayleigh immediately said "Oh her who could never get men and constantly complained of never having sex.." Kelly laughed and said "Never having sex, darling the girl didn't know where her vagina was!" 


We left Kelly's suite and walked down the hall way to get Gabrielle, she opened the door looking absolutely magnificent in a black dress which had asymmetric ruffles around it, frays around the edges with ruffled flowers along one side, she had tied her hair up and put dark makeup on her eyes. With the dress she was wearing tights and a rather familiar looking pair of shoes. Kelly said "Oh my goodness, you look breathtaking. Where may I ask did you purchase that footwear?!" Whilst she was in admiration Gabrielle said "I saw them whilst at the Chanel show in Paris with Kyle and Camilla and asked Camilla if she would be so kind as to get them for me early and they were here when I checked in today. I have no idea how she knew of whereabouts here." I told her how I had been shopping with her at Harrods, yet Camilla did not mention anything about shoes. Whilst grabbing contraception and her phone the toilet flushed and the renowned Dj Coleman walked into the lounge area. We all greeted him and Kelly winked at Gabrielle and said "Well done for squeezing that into your schedule!" ... Like brother like sister haha. 


Once by the pool the music was blaring and everyone looked rather amazing. We all immediately ended up getting split up from one another to go and see people who we hadn't seen in a while. There was 300 people invited the event tonight so I imagine about 400 was present. All of whom were considered to be friends, or connected with one another in some way. The vast majority for me was through sexual relations. As I walked through the various crowds I tried to label them, there were the models, most were on cocaine, the fashionistas who worked for magazines (these people sucked up to Kayleigh due to her mothers high status within Conde Nast) and in shops etc. the people worked with people such as I i.e. people from P.R firms, musicians etc. and then there were the heirs and heiress' to their parents fortunes, this could be broken down into two categories: the promiscuous party animals such as myself and friends or those who worked for their parents and would most probably go to bed at 1 am. There were a number of people from the public eye at the party (they shall remain unnamed) however they got no attention whilst being here. As I passed through the crowds I received waves from a number of people, had my name shouted a number of times and stopped to have a few conversations. I found Elliot stood with a group of broad, good looking, men and went over to say hello. I didn't even have to be introduced by Elliot as as soon as I went over one of the men said "Kyle McQuillan, I was wondering when I would finally meet you" I was a little shocked, I had never seen this man in my life yet he knew my name so I said "Excuse me?" He replied "Well you manage to sleep with Elliot a number of times each week, you must have something other than incredible good looks and amazing physique going for you, something I imagine to be mind blowing." I now fully understood; he had heard of my sexual reputation. I stayed and talked to the men for a short while and they all said they would see me later - I certainly wouldn't mind seeing more later, having another conversation is not appealing. 


When I made another circuit of the pool I came across Gabrielle who had her back turned to a girl who was saying something yet Gabrielle stood and talked to a few men, a few being 5. I walked over and she turned around to the girl and said "What is it?!" I didn't hear what the girl said but Gabrielle just said "So..." When I got to Gabrielle's side I asked the men she was talking to what was going on, they looked a little scared of me and said that Gabrielle had slept with the girl's boyfriend. Gabrielle just said "Listen darling, you are going about this the complete wrong way. I don't even know who you are, actually I don't even know why you're here" she looked her up and down "therefore I had no idea when I slept with this lowlife that he was going out with you, yet you have stayed by his side and have come to confront me about the situation. Now try and tell me that isn't absurd." The girl stuttered a little and said "I have stayed with him because I love him!" Gabrielle laughed a little then replied "Well evidently the feeling is mutual dear, that's why he slept with me." The girl had a vicious tone to her voice now and said "Like you would know anything about love. I have heard about you and your slutty ways Gabrielle McQuillan" over my shoulder I heard the men say "that's her brother" I looked over my shoulder so they would be quiet, they immediately stopped speaking and I turned my attention back to Gabrielle who was now saying "Oh absolutely marvellous, haven't we all heard about my promiscuous ways. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I have a sex life which others dream of having, something unobtainable to most" she looked her up and down again haha "and what's more, I have no desire for a boyfriend if it meant running around clearing up the mess he had made making myself look like a complete and utter remedial infront of others. Something which you have just done. Have a nice evening my love." Gabrielle turned back around and looked at me and said "Did you want something dear?" I told her I didn't and she said "Well if you wouldn't mind going away, I would quite like to have sex this evening and that clearly isn't going to happen if you're stood by my side, hence the reason why these men haven't spoken a word since you arrived. Just like everyone else they have probably heard something about you or I, probably that you don't have a problem with punching people and wouldn't hesitate for a second if it was something to do with your darling sister now do clear off. I love you." Well, she certainly put me in my place. 


Up until midnight I socialised with everyone, making a mental list of whom I was going to sleep with - it was growing by the minute haha. When midnight finally came around fireworks went off, champagne corks and champagne flew everywhere, I had my midnight kiss from Kelly much to the surrounding men's dismay haha, Ellie screamed at a boy for getting Champagne on her brand new dress and he gave her attitude so she bellowed "Ugh, I don't care, I didn't even know you were in me you're so small!" and then slapped him just so she knew everyone had been paying attention. Then she smiled and walked over to me and said "He shan't be sleeping with anyone tonight" haha. She had never even spoken to him before that moment, the penis remark was just pay back. I couldn't find Gabrielle amongst everyone on the beach however all of a sudden I heard her laughing and she had been lifted above the crowd holding a bottle of Dom Perignon haha. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder so I turned, stood facing me was one of the most attractive men I had seen all night! Oh my word! Words cannot describe! He bellowed over the shouts "Any chance I can have a new year's kiss?" I said "For now yes, you can have more than that later!" I told him my room number and told him to come and find me if I didn't see him before hand. Shortly after this whilst back around the pool area Kayleigh came onto a microphone and said "Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to give to you" a girl shouted something at her and Kayleigh just said "Like I care what you think, you can't even dress your self for crying out loud! I give to you, my esteemed friend Dj Coleman!!" She is such a loser haha. 


We continued partying throughout the night (morning) and due to me still being on English time I was not getting tired at all haha. Gabrielle had received a great cheer from all the men at the bar when she went into splits (on top of the bar I might add) for their pleasure whilst Ellie stood in amusement. Post 4 a.m. the night is a bit of a blur and then becomes more clear after 7 when we decided to go to bed. Kelly and Gabrielle had chosen their men for the evening and I walked with them towards the hotel from the beach. On the beach and by the poolside there were people on the floor still holding bottles of wine or just looked as though they had dropped there to sleep. Gabrielle of course, being drunk, didn't care about these people and walked over them if they got in her way. The occasional one would groan and she'd just simply carry on walking haha. When we passed the pool area again I saw the men who Elliot had been talking to at the beginning of the night I went over with Gabrielle and Kelly and their two men to ask where Elliot was when one said "Oh he went with this fucking gorgeous man to bed not too long ago" I gasped and said "Ugh, that swine! Am I right in assuming all three of you are homosexual?" They said yes and I said "Well in that case come with me.." I walked between them and put my arms around them and walked to the hotel. Gabrielle laughed and said "Ahh start the year how you mean to end it.. With pleasure! Now I tell you, if you're rubbish in bed and I have this all year I will track you down and my brother over there will beat you up" he laughed and they began kissing, seems as though that's something I won't have to deal with. Kelly, who was now walking in front turned around so she was walking backwards and said "Are you three men kind enough to sleep with women too?" She got her heel wedged into the decking and began to fall when one of them grabbed her, she immediately freed her heel and then jumped and wrapped her legs around the man and started kissing him. Gabrielle suddenly exclaimed "We'll go on the yacht.. Come on!" and went with her man towards the harbour. 


Once in my bedroom we fooled around for a short while in the pool which I had and then took ourselves into the living area and then following that the majority of rooms the suite offered. It was evident that Kelly wasn't moving around as I could banging against the wall for the majority of the night haha. At about half 9 when I had just about finished my intercourse session there was a knock on my door, I opened it to Kayleigh who was stood slumped against the wall in sunglasses, heels and a Diane Von Furstenberg tunic, she lifted her head up and slurred "Ready for the pool now?" For some unknown reason I went and put some shorts and sunglasses on and went with her, leaving the three men in my suite asleep. When we got outside I think I recall seeing people on sun beds wearing the same outfit as the night before with a bottle of wine at their side, however it is all a bit of a haze. We fell straight to sleep upon lying down and woke up about 4 hours later when Kayleigh said "What on earth are we doing out here? Why the hell have I changed to come out here? Christ my head" haha. We ordered some drinks of water and then went back to our rooms to have a quick sleep and a shower. When I got into my room someone had brought Maddox back and he was currently sat ready to pounce with his teeth showing growling at one of the men I had slept with. He looked absolutely petrified and I couldn't help but laugh when I walked it and upon doing so Maddox immediately stopped. The men went back to their own rooms and I slept for a couple of hours and then showered and went back to the pool where Elliot, Kayleigh and Lee were. Elliot asked who I had slept with and I said "Well you took the person I was meant to be sleeping with didn't you so I had to improvise" he said "With whom..." and I said "I had a foursome with those three men" everyone began laughing at me and then Elliot came over and crawled between my legs and said "Oh I do apologise, be sure to tell me what it is I can do to to make it up to you" he began kissing me and I said "Elliot I stopped having sex about 6 hours ago, I need a rest first!" Then he started kissing my neck and whispering into my ear and it was a different story haha. Gabrielle came stumbling over the little bridge to where we were sat down next to us and said "I actually feel like death" Elliot went to get up and I pulled him back down and said "I highly doubt Gabrielle wishes to see what she will do if you move, remain where you were." Once everything was ok Elliot insisted on picking a fight with me, I did so and we stood punching one another, why? I have no idea. The alcohol was still in our systems haha. However Lee thought he would be cleaver and stood up to push us both into the pool, it worked and Elliot and myself jumped straight back out and went over to his bed. I picked him up and put him over my shoulder and then said to Elliot "How should we do this?" Elliot grabbed his arms and I grabbed his legs and he shouted "No! There is no need you two!" When we finally let go of him he flew haha. T'was rather amusing. 


For the rest of the day I went running with Maddox and Bruno and took them in the sea and then went to the gym before eating in the hotel that evening. The following day I slept with the man whom I was supposed to sleep with on New Year was it not for Elliot which was aboslutely amazing and then went out on the yacht with him. That evening I slept with someone else who I knew from London haha. The days have been going on like this ever since really haha. I have no idea when I shall be leaving as I am having a spiffing time, not as many people are here anymore but there is still plenty of people to stare at around the pool and the pectorals are just how I like them haha. Kelly's mother flew out yesterday and has been spending time with us haha, she came to collect the dogs however ended up staying. It is fine though, she is like one of us with Gabrielle's brain. I think she may be leaving tomorrow. We have made a group decision to stop off in a few places on the journey home in an attempt of making the flight more bearable. There should be more of us too so it ought to be better. 


I shall keep you posted, perhaps not in such length though. 

Much love,

Kyle.