19 April 2009

California, London and back again... 19th April

After returning home from California my time in London was excellent. I took the chance to remember how good the nightlife in the city is and how talented the array of extremely attractive males are in bed haha. 

On the last weekend in March Gabrielle got a jet from Los Angeles to London where I picked her up and took her to collect her friend Claire from Harrods (a makeup artist) and then a hairdresser from elsewhere, both of whom work accross the globe during fashion weeks. It was that evening that a business event was being held in my parent's honour. The thrill! I took them back to my hotel where Jackie (my father's p.a) was just driving off in her Mercedes (which, by the way, comes with her job and is completely paid for except petrol. My parents treat her like another child!)

Once inside we ordered a couple of bottles of wine from room service and then went upstairs where Jackie had hung both of our outfits having just collected them from the tailor/designer's people. I had my hair cut whilst Gabrielle had her makeup applied by claire and then had a shower. When I returned Gabrielle was having her hair blowdried with extreme volume and then curled. Kelly phoned me under great stress saying "I am having a crisis! Part of my extension just fell out... I'm going to have to get an emergency appointment! I may be late" I told her to just come to my house and have it sorted here. A short while later I heard her car pull up outside and looked out of the window to see her Mercedes SLR McLaren abandoned on the foot path outside of my house. Before I knew it she had let her self in and was running up the stairs shouting "Kyle! Ring the concierge and have him do something with my car, the keys are in the hallway!" She entered wearing a plum Roland Mouret dress which I complimented and she said "Ugh it was horrendous! I had to have it shortened and taken in, I looked like a nun!" Her extension hadn't fallen out, it was merely loose. Whilst the situation was rectified Gabrielle and I changed into our outfits; mine being a three-piece suit I had purchased from Saville Rowe and Gabrielle an Alexander McQueen lace bandage dress. She came out of one of the bedrooms laughing and entered saying "Look at my breasts! I am overflowing!" She certainly was. It was like trying to fit a melon in a sling shot. She looked ridiculous! It resulted in us ringing reception for some masking tape and she wipped off her dress and taped them down. When she put her dress back on she said "Ugh! I look like I have a pair of mosquito bites!" After minor adjusting she was happy. I messaged Elliot Lee and Kayleigh to come round as we were taking chauffeurs from my house. Ellie was going with her parents as they too were attending, as was Kelly's father (her mother was in New York.) 

Elliot arrived wearing a delightful Tom Ford suit, looking all the more devine than normal. Kayleigh arrived wearing a cream embroided neckline dress by Alberta Ferretti with a pair of nude Brian Atwood peeptoe platforms. Her makeup was flawless to say the least; perfect flicks came from either eye and everything seemed to go exactly with her dress. Claire (the makeup artist) loved her makeup and asked where she had it done. Kayleigh replied "Oh a lady came to the house. Lord knows who she is. Mother sends someone different each time..." She then went to the phone to have someone send some champagne up to the room whilst I explained to Claire that Kayleigh's mother holds a fairly senior position within Conde Nast, thus has an array of makeup artist etc. at her beckon call. Once of the phone she said "I am so thankful, yet again, to be out of that wretched house! My brother is back from Eton and he's 13 when they're their utmost infuriating. I cannot tell you how many times I have been called a failure or a promiscuous little waste of space. He is such a swine! I simply cannot help but retaliate with a slap accross the head and just to prove that payback really is a bitch I have removed anything he would find remotely entertaining this evening from the house, including the television remote control, leaving the swine to torture that poor nannie who is burdened with him!" Gabrielle then said "Kyle used to be like that. I was told on numerous occasions that I was thick and that if I broke my leg I would have nothing in life. Isn't that right Kyle?" I protested and said "Numerous occasions being once or twice. I on the other hand was told that I was the least favourite and that my mother and father wouldn't give up meetings and abandon schedules to come and watch me get 100% in a maths test or to listen to me speak French as they did watching Gabrielle perform, or perhaps that she was far better than me because she was different and that everyone who went to schools like mine were intelligent where as not everyone could perform ballet to the standard she did..." Kelly said "Oh you little buggers!" to which Gabrielle said "That was only on a rare occasion. The rest of the time we used any talent we had to draw attention to ourselves. At family and friend gatherings I would merely dance and have everyone ooh and ahh at the little cute ten year old performing ballet whilst Kyle would walk around and speak fluent french to everyone and ensure they knew of his intellect... I think I might get changed." She began speaking and Lee walked in, grabbed her by the waist and said "My my, you do look the sexiest out of the three of you" he saw me and then said "Oh I do apologise Kyle, didn't realise you were here" Gabrielle then said "That is why" and walked into the wardrobe whilst I said "Lee this is my house..." yet apparently this made no difference as he simply said "I know, but usually when I come round you're not here." Not that I was aware of that... 

Moments later Gabrielle returned wearing a metallic Proenza Scholer silver skirt and just a bra and said "Shall I wear this?" There were mixed reactions: Kayleigh exclaimed "What's happened to your boobs!?" Lee said "Suits me.." whilst Kelly asked "What about a top dear?" Gabrielle looked a little shocked and then said "Do excuse me as that was all a little difficult to take in. Nevertheless, in answer to what I gathered from your questions, my boobs are taped down and I simply forgot to put a top on before coming out of the wardrobe... I shall go and do that now." She came back out wearing a black Roland Mouret fitted top then proceeded to put on a pair of opaque tights and then went to find some shoes. She brought out 4 shopping bags and said "I had Jackie drop these off too, I bought them a couple of days ago..." She showed 3 pairs of Guiseppe Zaniotti heels (a pink and black pair, a cream and black pair and a dark blue and white jewel embellished pair) - none of which were really appropriate, she then said "Oh crap... Let me see what's in here" She returned to a very bored rest of us with a pair of peep toe Laboutins, a pair of closed toe Laboutins, a pair of platformed YSL's and another pair of Laboutins which had organza pettles down the bridge of the foot. Eventually she chose the ones with the petals as she felt she required something a little more sexy in her outfit. Finally dressed she exhaled and said "Ah, now my eye makeup doesn't match... Claire." The chauffeurs had arrived before Gabrielle was finished however we simply made them wait outside whilst we finished our champagne. I didn't allow Gabrielle to have more than one glass as it doesn't take much for her to become drunk, thus showing my parents up resulting in me getting the blame. When we were finally ready Gabrielle gave Claire a brand new dress from Future Classics and the hairdresser a scarf from my room. Just before walking out of the door Gabrielle screamed "Where's Harry?!" Everyone looked at each other a little confused however I simply said "... Winston." However she found it mere seconds later and we left. 

When I wasn't far away Ellie messaged to say Will you please quicken your pace. I am with my parents like a complete loser! There are however plenty of men to look at... These suits make their behinds look perfection!!  x The last comment was enough to make us almost eager to get to the torturous event. 

We pulled up outside and my parents got out of their Rolls Royce, my father in a suit from Saville Rowe and my mother in a gorgeous fitted black dress which looked as though it had squares of black material pieced together along with a pair of swarovski crystal embellish Laboutins. The three girls gasped and Gabrielle said "Mother! That dress! Do not spill anything on it therefore preventing me from wearing it on a future occasion... Who's it by?" My mother told them it was Nathan Jenden, meanwhile my father walked ahead of my mother and said "Nice and punctual" to which I replied "Likewise" my father then said "We are the hosts. We are not late, everyone else is merely awaiting our arrival" he then added "You look rather nice tonight Kyle" I thanked him and then he came behind me, wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me all over the cheek repetitively before my mother slapped him on the arm and said "Harold we're going in now. Do attempt to look a little professional as opposed to some sort of peculiar individual" he said "Very well dear" and placed his arm around my mother's back and his hand on her buttock, looking back and winking at Elliot and Lee, smiling. My mother moved his hand up to her waist and then looked back and winked at the rest of us. Then we entered the realms of boredom...

Once we found Ellie we stood and people watched for a short while and attempted to look interested however it was a great difficulty! It was so dull! That said, Ellie's comment with regards to the men in suits was spot on! Haha. The room was abundant with Seikhs, people who were obviously from the stock market, business women, p.a's stood by their boss' sides and a few wives/husbands of the people who had been invited - you could tell who these were as they shared the same expression as my friends and I. Gabrielle and I stood together as I was wary of my mother and father's watchful eye however at one point, a girl whom I believed to be a p.a came over and said "May I just say that you two are the most attractive couple I have ever come accross!" I laughed and said "Many thanks however we're siblings, not a couple" I think she'd had a few glasses of champagne as she replied "Oh, well your parents must be exceptionally good looking" I said "Well do judge for yourself, they're stood there" I pointed out my mother and father who were stood side by side with a couple of men in suits schmoozing and she said "Oh. You're Mr and Mrs McQuillan's children. Well, if I may say so, your father looks like someone off my fireman calendar and your mother looks like she's walked straight off Gucci's catwalk to here! Amazing!" And then she walked away. Peculiar. Shortly afterwards Camilla Al Fayed weaved her way through the crowd and came over to us both open armed. She looked stunning in a figure hugging black dress from Alexander McQueen with a jewel embellished neck. We asked what she was doing here and she said "Well my father came to show his support and I wouldn't miss a chance to catch up with the pair of you now would I?" Gabrielle then went with Camilla somewhere and I was approached by a man who looked a little older than my father who said "So you're the one who's reaping the benefits of your parent's hard work? Nice to meet you Kyle, I'm David" I shook his hand and he said "Your parents are extremely successful. I'm in charge of their construction project in Dubai. Are you familiar with it?" I nodded. I had no idea what he was talking about however I felt it was the right thing to do. He then proceeded to talk about the management of construction materials which my parents are providing for 'the project in Dubai.' I was so relieved when he excused himself! Ellie's mother (a barrister) came over and said "Someone managed to find themselves in a sticky situation then didn't we?" She kissed me on either cheek and then said "At least you're trying to look interested, look at Ellie stood admiring behinds" I turned and watched as Ellie's head followed all of the passing men. T'was rather comical haha. 

After the meal which was prepared by my father's friend Marco Pierre White there was a toast and then we began to have a group discussion as to where we were going to go afterwards. The majority of us decided on Maddox as it had been quite a while when a couple of tanned, young men came over in their fine fitting suits and asked "I am sorry if I'm mistaken however would I be right in presuming that you are all going out following this event?" Kayleigh said "Yes, would you care to join us?" He said certainly! To which I said "Would you care to ring some friends, preferably ones who look like yourselves and will be dressed like yourselves and are inclined to sleep with males, if you yourselves aren't... Yet." Camilla laughed at me from across the table and then went to tell her father of her departure and Gabrielle went to tell ours. Gabrielle returned to say that someone had told her they'd already left and they said so in their speech that they were doing so - clearly we weren't listening to that. However my mother came back through the thinning crowd and gave gifts to everyone around the table saying "Thank you for coming, I realise, especially from the look on Gabrielle's face, that it was somewhat mind numbing for you all however it is much appreciated" Gabrielle then stood up and hugged her and said "Oh mother you're such a darling!" My mother realised the obvious intoxication and said "Well thank you for that dear, your father and I along with Ellie's parents and a few others are going out in London now so I shall see you in the morning dear. Be careful this evening. Goodnight Kyle, love you dear, thank you" she then came over and kissed me on the cheek too - I am honoured! Everyone thanked her for their gifts of jewellery from designers such as Gucci, Dior, Prada etc. and she left. Lee then said "Without further ado.. Kyle where are the chauffeurs?" Camilla said "Do not worry about that, I have arranged them, they are waiting outside." Lee said "She owns Harrods and has chauffeurs at her beckon call, Kyle I'm beginning to think she's out doing you!" Camilla then said "Oh please Harrods has it's own line of jets and helicopters too, these McQuillan's aren't a patch on me" she winked at both me and Gabrielle and we stood up to leave. 

Gabrielle and I rode together in the car and Camilla went with Kayleigh as Camilla knew Kayleigh's mother through Conde Nast thus they had something to talk about. On the way Gabrielle decided she wanted to alter her outfit slightly so we messaged everyone and took a minor detour via my parent's house. We both ran in quickly and went to Gabrielle's room where she went into the wardrobe and removed her top and bra, swapping them for a flourescent pink one and a Dolce & Gabbana white blouse which was unbuttoned slightly, she then swapped her shoes for a pair of Alexander McQueen booties with a hot pink (matching her bra) elasticated strap on the back of her ankle. Ready to leave we walked onto the landing to hear a bang from the upper floor. Gabrielle said "Ugh, is it those wretched dogs again?" She headed upstairs before hearing another couple of bangs then looked at me and said "Do come with me Kyle..." When we got upstairs it was a little louder and figured it was coming from my parent's room. Without hesitation we both walked in and screamed at the top of our voices. Gabrielle was shouting "I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND!" Whilst I was stood facing the wall sickened by the fact the pair of us had just walked in on my parents having sex. My mother exclaimed "What on earth?! I thought you were going out!" Gabrielle shouted "We were! We thought you were dogs!" My father started laughing at this ambiguous comment which repulsed me even more and I just left the room without another word and almost ran down the stairs with Gabrielle right behind me. We got back into the car and sat in the back seats completely horrified and I looked at her and said "I. Saw. Everything! Especially on Dad!" Ughhh, it was repulsive. I'm almost vomiting just writing this.  

We tried to forget about the horrific scene we'd witnessed and focoused our attention on the men who had joined us in Maddox. Lee was nowhere to be seen, most probably with several girls, whilst the rest of us were scattered around the club. Camilla was having a whale of a time however left at around 2 as she had a flight to catch the following morning, thus she went to catch a helicopter which would take her to her home in Surrey. The rest of us continued to talk with the men whom had joined us from my parent's mind numbing event, one of whom, Rick, I had mutual interest in. He said "A couple of very attractive parents you have, explains a lot..." I felt sick once more as the image of my parents rushed back into my head however I persevered and replied "What are you insinuating? That I too am very attractive?" He laughed and said "Well, I think that goes without saying" I was rather drunk so I replied "Yes it does, I was just being polite. Now shall you be coming to my house this evening or shall we finish this conversation enabling me to go and find someone else?" He laughed and said "You can rely on me" I took him over to the table where Kayleigh and Ellie were sat with a few men and introduced him. Before he sat I highlighted to the girls just how attractive his derriere was in his tailored suit through a non-discrete hand action. One cannot deny that they were jealous haha! 

I have no idea what I was doing however it was just before I was about to leave when someone came up behind me and grabbed my bum, I turned to see Elliot who asked "Have you acquired a male?" I told him I had and he said "Likewise. I must say, it seems far to long since you and have had some time together" I went a little bit closer and said "Well in that case, come round in the morning! However on that note, I shall be leaving." I went to tell Rick we were leaving and phoned the hotel to have them come and collect us. Within a few minutes the car had arrived and we both got in, yet, just as we were about to drive off Kayleigh came running up to the car and got in the back whilst a man got in the front. She said "My brother would walk in on us if we were to go back to my house, his bedroom is unfortunately on the same floor as mine." I guessed that meant she too was staying at my house.

Part way through the night whilst I was still extremely active I heard someone let themselves in downstairs and come upstairs. Moments later Elliot walked accross the landing outside my bedroom and shouted "I'm staying here tonight!" In the morning I was woke by the sound of the smoothie maker in the kitchen and then Rick started kissing me. I couldn't be bothered lying there with him all morning (or afternoon as I soon realised) and so got up. As I went downstairs to the kitchen I passed a man on the stairs who was wearing the same as I - nothing but underwear - and was tanned with dark hair, I presumed he was Elliot's man as it wasn't who Kayleigh left with. I went into the kitchen to find Elliot and Kayleigh eating room service. They both poured a drink and said "Shall we go upstairs to the drawing room?" I agreed and the three of us, Elliot and I wearing underwear and Kayleigh in a Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt and some underwear of mine. When we got into the drawing room there were 4 men in there to which I asked Elliot "Did you sleep with two?" He said "No" and then Kelly walked in wearing much the same outfit as Kayleigh and said "One's mine" I said "Oh, when did you arrive?" She said "Late last night, I came into your room but you were in your element so I didn't disturb you... I let myself in." The best looking man out of all of them who had short spiked hair, chizled features and a gorgeous body said "There seems to be an awful lot of men here and not many girls.." Kelly said "It's wrong to presume that everyone is straight like yourself. Those two sleep with men." I asked "Is there any chance you're interested in doing so?" He said "No, not while the girls look like Kelly here..." I said "Well that's a shame, however with regards to your answer I don't see any reason for you to stay" he looked at me and stared whilst I just smiled and then said "Very well" and went upstairs. I was devasted! He was gorgeous! After a moment or so I walked out of the drawing room and went upstairs to the other bedrooms and walked into the room where the man was to find him stood in a shirt and pants which was when I remembered he was one of the men from my parent's event who came over and asked whether we were going out. Wearing his current attire he looked even more attractive than he did wearing next to nothing! There is something about good looking straight men (because I can't have them I think) and there is something about men in fine fitting suits... He boasted both of these mouth watering qualities. I said "Are you sure I can't tempt you..." I walked a bit closer to him and said "We can start with other things as opposed to intercourse... Say for example oral" I was determined! I can't remember what I said/did following that however it worked. Before I knew it he was lay flat out on the bed. Success! When I (he?) had finished he panted and then shouted "That was the best fucking head of my whole entire life! Fuck me you're good!" I smiled and said "I shall over look your bad language seeing as you just paid me an exceptionally nice compliment. Thank you! And don't worry, I shan't tell my parents." He looked at me and said "Why would I be bothered about that?" I said "Oh I don't know. I just presumed, seeing as you were at-" he looked at me and said "Shhiiiiiittttttttttttttt... Harold and Camilla are your Mum and Dad? And I have just stayed the night at their son's house and then received a blow job from him whilst I have done things to him. Well done me!" I said "Oh do be quiet. Do you honestly think I want to tell them that despite having slept with someone last night I did other things with a completely different person the following morning and that I had met him at their work event, oh and my best friend had slept with him the previous night too. Please be serious! What's more my sister has slept with people actually in their workplace before so you have nothing to worry about." He paused whilst putting his pants back on and said "You have a sister?" I said "Yes" he said "Bloody hell! How fit must she be! Being an offspring of that sex on legs mother of yours!" My expression become disgusted and I said "Why did you feel it neccessary to say that to me? What's more if my father found out you had slept with her you could kiss your job goodbye and any chance of getting employment in anyother well paid position either within their company or many others whilst you live in London." With that I went back downstairs. Everyone had left more or less and it was just Kelly and Kayleigh sat in the drawing room watching the television and talking. Kelly said "Kyle dear get changed, we're going for lunch. You need to drop us off and then collect Gabrielle from Lee's, she stayed there last night with a man who she met in Maddox. Did you have fun with the man whom I brought home?" I told her I did and he entered and said "So Kelly, can I have your number?" She said "No but I have yours so I shall ring you" he replied "Ook, does that mean I'm ever going to see you again?" She said "Well, do you consider yourself a lucky person?" he told her not really and she said "Well in that case probably not no." I said "You can have my number.. Ring me if you get bored one evening, your chances are slimmer but I shall do likewise." 

I dropped Kelly off followed by Kayleigh and then went and collected Gabrielle. Once home we both walked in and stood in the kitchen and talked. My mother and father walked in looking a little rough and asked us whether we had a good night. We told them we did and then my father said "May I just say that with regards to last night... Karma" Gabrielle screamed "Err" my mother "Harold!" Whilst I punched him on the arm. He seemed unfased by this reaction he received and just walked behind me and put his arm around my neck to strangle me in retaliation, whilst doing so he said "What? Countless times have I-" My mother bellowed "Unnecessary! Let's just change the subject..." We did so and about 5 minutes  later Gabrielle read her messages. After typing away for a while she presumably clicked onto another new one which made her perforate my ear drum with a deafening scream. With that my mother too started screaming and I shouted "What? What?!" I had no idea what was happening and then my father came running downstairs and said "What on earth is going on?" Then Gabrielle started running around the kitchen saying "FAME'S COMING OUT!!!" My father asked why my mother was screaming and she said "Gabrielle startled me. I thought she'd seen a rat or something!" Gabrielle then said "Where's Jackie?" My mother told her she was in the study at which point Gabrielle bellowed her name. My father said "Gabrielle... The study is sound proof. She cannot hear you!" Gabrielle and I both said "Oh my goodness really?!" Then Gabrielle continued "I had no idea! Is that why you never reply when I shout you and you're working?" My father said "Most likely. How could you not have known? We've lived here for about five years" she replied "I just thought you didn't want to be disturbed" I agreed with her. Still, rather than walk the short way to the study/office Gabrielle picked up the phone and phoned her in there and told her to come here. Once in the kitchen Gabrielle told her "I need you to find out where the fame premiere is and get me a cast list... I am going to that premiere!" Jackie replied "I shall however I am about to go food shopping. Harold, Camilla, is there anything in particular you would like me to purchase?" She then said "Kyle I shall be going to your house now to see what you require." Not a lot. I have one small cupboard for food and in there is protein shakes, some chocolate which never gets eaten by myself, some crisps, popcorn and cereal. Then in my fridge I have Isotonic drinks piled up, alcohol (in the form of wine, champagne and spirits) occasionally there is milk along with vegetables and some fruit for making smoothies. The freezer has nothing in it besides ice cream for when my friends and I stay in on a night time and watch films. That is all of the food I have in my house haha. The rest comes from room service or I eat out. Not surprising, this is a person who was unaware that someone could go and do their own food shopping until he was twelve years old. 

Gabrielle flew back to Los Angeles  on the Monday and for the rest of the week I just shopped and slept with various people. I unfortunately encountered Kayleigh's little brother when I went to her house prior to a night out in London. He passed through the kitchen where we were stood drinking wine and said "Oh another night of drinking and sex with people you don't know and will never speak to ever again then?" She said "Oh do be quiet!" he replied "No you, you serve no purpose! You do nothing but-" I said "Excuse me, your sister and I live the exact same lifestyle" at which point he looked at me and said "Yes, these are directed at you too" I laughed and looked at Kayleigh who said "You grab him and I'll hit him" I merely held him still at first however he decided to stand on my toe so I lifted him up and grabbed his ankle dangling him upside down. Kayleigh said "Are you going to apologise?" He shouted "No!" and then shouted "Muummm!!!" Kayleigh said "Very well then, Kyle where were we?" I took a seat again on the stool I was on, still holding his ankle and took a sip of my drink whilst he shouted for his mother. Eventually his mother walked into the kitchen and said "Yes? Oh Kyle, if only you were here more often, that could prove to be somewhat useful! William, you know what you have to do if you want to be put down so for heavens sake do what's right and apologise otherwise you shall stay there." He said "Fine! Sorry!" At which point I placed him back on the ground upright, ruffled his hair and said "Run along little child." That is why I hate children! If mine turned out like that lord knows what I'd do. He used to be well behaved and I used to enjoy play fighting with him and lifting him up etc. Now five minutes alone is enough to make me want to kill him... Which I almost did. 

In the week before Easter I went to reception in the hotel to collect some letters and things they had for me. My friend Erin was working that day so I stood and talked to her for a while. After asking what I'd been up to I asked what was new with her, she answered "Well I have a new boyfriend, George, I really like him! It's been about 3 months now and I'm meeting his parents tonight... I am so scared! They live in Cheshire somewhere and he owns his own company, thus they're fairly well off and here I am. Working on reception at a hotel!" I gave her a little sympathy and said "Everything will be ok! Where are you going with them?" She replied "Yet another disaster! We're going to Gordon Ramsay's so I've had to buy a new dress and all sorts!" I asked what she had purchased and she said "It's only from Topshop... Lord knows what I'm going to look like in Claridges, never mind next to them! See.. This is why I'm so scared!" I laughed and said "Come on... All your Christmas' have come at once" I winked at her and motioned for her to follow, she said "Kyle, I can't. I'm working." I asked who was her manager and she told me it was Gordon, the concierge, whilst hers wasn't on duty at the moment. I said "Gordon, I shall be taking Erin for a short while" to which he replied "She's working, there's no-one else on reception" I simply said "Well I'm afraid you'll have to find alternative staff or do it yourself. I require her assistance immediately and being the loyal, high paying customer that I am I feel I am entitled to it. She shall be back in a short while. Come along Erin." Whilst we walked through the hotel in order to get access to my town house she said "How I wish I could speak to him like that!" Once upstairs we went into the first walk-in wardrobe which Gabrielle uses and told her to look through the clothes. She wasn't looking properly at first as I do believe she felt a little cheeky however I told her "They're never going to get worn again so you may as well take something!" She pulled out a Victoria Beckham dress which still had the tags on along with Marchesa, Alexander McQueen and Herve Leger dresses. She tried them all on and narrowed it down to the Victoria Beckham dress and the black Herve Leger dress however after deciding that the Herve Leger dress was a little too short for a first time meeting with the parents she chose the one by Victoria Beckham. She said "I have never felt so nice in all my entire life! What size is this?" I said "A six I think however Gabrielle would have had to have it taken in in order to make it a size four I imagine" she said "Oh christ! I can't breathe as it is! Lord knows how I'm going to eat!" Following this we went back downstairs to the kitchen and I opened various cupboards to see where Gabrielle's shoes were. Once I had found the designated area I looked for boxes labelled with Christian Laboutin and took them out. As the dress was black she merely required a pair of black closed toe pumps which we found no problem and took them with us back upstairs. In front of the mirror she put them on and grew 6 inches saying "I have wanted a pair of these for ages, yet they're far too expensive for me! These are gorgeous! I swear I shall be careful with them and bring them back to you" I replied "Don't be so absurd! If it's here it's not used and what's more she lives in L.A now so that just emphasises my point. These are merely emergency clothes. Plus, at my parents house alone she has about fifty pairs of Laboutins so she isn't going to miss those.. Keep them!" I then rummaged through an open trunk which was beneath one of the clothes rails for a clutch and gave her a ridiculously oversized one by Jimmy Choo. This she loved also and swore she would return however I said "Well I hope you don't mind but it's last season so it shall never be used again. Keep that too and the dress." She refused but I said "Darling, she bought the entire collection just to be supportive of Victoria and wore 8 of the 10, this one hasn't been worn and she has a new collection out now. Keep the thing for heavens sake!" I then looked in a holdall which was on the floor for some jewellery and said "These may have to be returned. Here, wear these." I gave her an 18k gold bangle from Tiffany's and a Bulgari watch along with a ring from Cavalli. With the entire outfit on she looked amazing! Whilst she looked at herself in the mirror for a while I browsed through what else was in the wardrobe. There were three pairs of jeans thrown in a heap on the floor citizens of humanity, seven and Prada, all of which had began to loose colour around the bottom, thus would never be worn again. I said "Here take these too, they're just making it look untidy" she said "Kyle no!" However I simply pulled out a paper carrier bag from Chanel and dropped them in along with the clutch, jewellery which she was handing me and the shoes which I placed back in the box and into the bag. Whilst she went and changed again I found a dress bag hanging up from YSL and put the dress which she handed to me in there and then gave it back to her along with the Chanel bag. She said "Thank you so much Kyle! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this! I'll nip in sometime in the week and let you know how it went" as we walked out of the wardrobe I spotted picked up a couple of handbags which were lying in the middle of the floor to throw them under the clothes when I noticed on of the Fendi Spy bags was fraying at the seam so I gave that to her also. It was barely visible however, I know Gabrielle (and my self) and things which are slightly worn will not be used. 

On the Thursday before Easter I was at my parent's house and asked my mother where we would be spending it when she replied "The country house in Italy dear..." I almost died. It's so boring! She then said "Jackie you and your husband can decide where you would like to spend it, take your pick of any of the properties and feel free to charter a jet if you wish" I complained and said "Why don't I get such treatment? I'm going to be bored out of my brains whilst Jackie here gets the choice of any luxury property. Why mother, why?" she laughed and said "Kyle you sound like a six year old. We are going end of story" I gave up fighting and walked over to Jackie and said "You see, it's almost worth putting up with me just for that isn't it" I then, feeling rather childish, decided to swoop her off her feet and have her lying in my arms. She screamed as I did so then said "Kyle put me down" I ignored her and only put her down when my mother insisted I did so haha. Gabrielle phoned me and said "Guess who I'm just on my way from JFK to have lunch with.." I asked who and she said "Marc Jacobs!" I said "Oh marvellous. What are you wearing?" She replied "Well I had this dilemma myself. I didn't want to look like some sort of obsessed grope-me or something-" I asked "Grope-me?" She replied "Those girls who follow around bands and sleep with them etcetera" I corrected her "Groupie" and she said "Oh is it? I always presumed it was grope-me because I guessed that's what they did... Anyway so I opted for a vintage chanel outfit consisting of a high waisted skirt with a blouse and two tone tights but I feel too smart.. I think I might go and put something a little more casual on, this just isn't me!" About 40 minutes later she phoned me back and said "Right, now I'm wearing a pair of black skinny Alexander Wang lace/denim pants with a black trapeze top from Maje with ruffle detailing with a pair of metallic strappy black and silver Alexander McQueen heels with the Himalayan diamond hardware Birkin you got me for my birthday and a new Balmain leather jacket with shoulder pads... Do you think that's adequate or too casual?" I said it sounded fine and she said "Marvellous! If my boss were to see me she'd crucify me. What's more if my colleague who flew here with me and is currently dining with Zac Posen saw me she would most probably do likewise! I think I'll just wear a rolex with it and aviators... I shall speak to you later, love you." A number of hours later she phoned me back and said "Oh my dear lord! That went so well!" I asked what happened and she said "Well I walked in and he looked me up and down and said 'Someone's budget isn't small, a hundred and sixty thousand dollar birkin... I like it! I love your outfit too!' that was like a weight lifted off my shoulder so I said 'Oh excellent! One has to differentiate somewhat from what I'm told to wear in order to portray style and a sense of being on trend. What's more no one likes a suck up, hence the reason I'm not draped head to toe in your latest collection. It goes without saying that I simply adore it!' and then he said 'I love your accent! And I'm relieved, everything you said was completely true. What size are you? Zero?' I told him I was and then he guessed that my boobs weren't entirely my own thus I could completely relax once he'd said that! He also asked whether we had met before and then remembered me when I told him of all the occasions.. Anyway, after an hour or so we were still talking and I was telling him about my birthday party and things and he said 'Are you friends with Geneivive Jones?' I said no but that we'd been at the same parties and things and then he said 'You two would get on like a house on fire, I'll arrange it!' Isn't that just amazing!" It was actually. Miss Jones is a socialite who no one really knows anything about other than PR firms are constantly giving her clothes to wear to get them in the public eye. She then went on to say "What's more, right before I left he said 'Gabrielle that firm of yours is lucky to have you. I'm sure I'd be able to find you a position here if you ever felt you wanted to leave' I was thrilled but I told him I didn't particulary want a job and that I was just going to get this wretched degree over with and then decide what I am going to do with regards to a career, if have one at all... I want to dance!" Haha. I asked Gabrielle what she was doing now and she said "Well my boss called and said that my colleagues meeting with Zac Posen isn't really going all that well so I'm going to salvage what I can of that and then I'm going to Saks to purchase the entirety of Marc's collection and then catching a jet back to L.A I think. I shall ring you later. Love you!" Unsurprisingly she did phone back when she was waiting for her jet in the airport to say that the meeting with Zac also went very well - "I walked in and surprise surprise, my colleague was wearing a Zac Posen skirt, top and bag, needless to say she was a little shocked by what I was wearing, however regardless of her opinion the first thing Zac said was 'I love what you've put together!' He's really not so attractive which I was quite shocked by, I expected him to be. A little annoying too. As we were leaving he gave me a card and said "Call me when you're next in the city.. We'll go for lunch!' I do say, I should own this company, I have brought them so many clients and contacts it's unreal!" I laughed "Have you told Mum and Dad? I'm sure they'd be extremely proud of their little PR guru! Oh and by the way, we're going to the country house in Italy for Easter" she replied "NO! Kyle tell her! They don't understand, there is nothing to do! It's a vineyard for crying out loud! Are we allowed to take friends" Negative. Eventually she reluctantly said "Right. I shall see you there on Saturday, I think I'll get a helicopter from the airport..." 

Sure enough when Saturday came around my parents and I got a jet (no other option as airlines don't fly there direct - that's how bad it is) to Umbria and then had cars take us to the country house. The villa its self is lovely. It's exceptionally large and set in a vineyard with 7 bedrooms and an enormous pool. There is nothing worth writing about as nothing happened. I remained there until Thursday morning as Gabrielle and I had received messages the night before informing us of a party which was being held in Los Angeles on the Saturday. The two of us along with Maddox and Bambi took a jet to LAX that day and arrived there that evening. Finally some civilisation! Gabrielle went to work on the Friday and then on the Saturday day time we were bored. We thought about what to do and decided we'd go to Universal Studios - random I know! I was dressed down in a pair of Abercrombie & Fitch shorts along with a Marc Jacobs polo and some Gucci monogram pumps whilst Gabrielle wore a white summer dress from Fendi along with a pair of black suede fringed ankle boots from Christian Laboutin  and a leopart print Jimmy Choo clutch. We got there and paid for VIP tickets enabling us to queue jump etc. and went on the rides. It was hilarious! We went into the haunted house first and Gabrielle deafened me all the way around with high pitched screams and then ran through one section which lead to a mirrored walkway and ran into her reflection and fell back on the floor haha. As we neared the end of the house she was petrified and so got on my back and put her sunglasses on and closed her eyes so she didn't have to endure anymore. I was completely unfazed by the characters haha. Following this we went on Jurrasic Park which was highly amusing and we both loved so we purchased the picture taken haha. Upon exiting the ride we crossed the road to go on the mummy and were grabbed by one of the characters from the mummy. Gabrielle screamed yet again and then stopped and said "Oh my Kyle... Look at his body!" The man was on stilts wearing no top and had makeup on his face and contact lenses in in order to make him look a little scary - not attractive. Nevertheless, his torso was oiled tanned and chizzled and he appeared (beneath the makeup) to have an attractive face. Gabrielle took one of her new business cards which she begrudged carrying with her out of her clutch bag and put it down the front of his pants so that it was still popping out and said "Text me... If you like men, he'll have you" and then the pair of us went on the Mummy ride haha. If my mother knew... 

Upon arriving back at the the house I said "Gabrielle I do apologise, I'm going to have to invite someone round. It's been far too long!" She said "Ugh, fine. I shall go to Rodeo Drive and do a spot of shopping. Do try and be quick. I have no longing to walk in to the house only to hear sickening sound effects." I phoned a friend who was going to be at the party that evening and invited him round. Within half an hour his BMW was parked on the drive and we were upstairs haha. It was even better because I had been waiting haha. As he was leaving Gabrielle arrived and entered the house with 4 rather large shopping bags, I asked whether she was wearing anything that she had bought and she said "No, I just bought them..." haha. I began getting ready shortly after Gabrielle's return home and put on my newly purchased outfit consisting of a new Alexander McQueen white shirt which was unbuttoned to my chest with a lightweight YSL summer scarf in blue with a pair of navy blue pants from Merchand Drapier, a pair of brown Dolce & Gabanna oxfords a gold watch from Bulgari. Gabrielle was wearing a rather short black dress from Louis Vuitton which was ruffled at the bottom and had jewelled detailing at the waist, she wore with with some incredibly high black and white lace up platforms from Giuseppe Zaniotti, a patent leather studded clutch from Marc Jacobs and a pair of studded driving gloves. Once we were finally ready we called or a chauffeur and had them take us to the venue. Whilst in the car I messaged Elliot to ask whether he was going to make it to the party and he replied Unfortunately not. I decided to stay in St. Barts. Ring me tomorrow. 

The party was excellent. It was abundant with friends of mine not to mention the good looking men... I compared six-packs with Zac Efron! I won of course as mine borders more on an eight pack than a six haha. He is so good looking! I had an excellent night with a man whose name I did not get and on Sunday I did nothing other than lie on the beds by the pool and sleep haha. I am exhausted! My birthday is coming up next month which I am not looking forward to! I have made the decision that I shall now think of it as a big party held in my honour, not a birthday. Twenty-one is simply the best age! The party planning has been left in the hands of Gabrielle along with help from Kelly. It ought to be good! 

Speak soon.

Much love,