31 July 2009

Horse Races, July 4th and an unlikely occurrence for ones self...

It has been a while since I last wrote and a fair bit has happened since. One of which being the attendance of Ascot. As a group we opted for ladies day as our day of choice and Kelly and I spread the word of our prospective attendance. As you can imagine, everyone obliged; the girls cannot decline the chance of getting dressed up whilst the males are rather fond of betting. In the week prior to the event Kelly had her parents assistant arrange a box and everyone went out in search of something to wear. For myself it was fairly simple; a trip to Saville Rowe. The girls on the other hand, having found dresses it was the usual dilemma of hat or fascinator...

When the day had arrived Gabrielle flew to London from Los Angeles and arrived at my parents house with her hair in rollers and suitcases in tow - I then recieved a text message informing me of her arrival and instructing me to come round immediately haha. I did so and gave her my verdict on her head wear. My mother entered the house at that point wearing a miu miu skirt along with a cream Stella McCartney blouse, tights and a purple clutch. Upon hearing Maddox's deafaning bark as she opened the door she shouted "Kyle darling are you here?" Then as Bambi went charging to her she said gasped and said "Gabrielle too!? Where are my babies?!" Me and Gabrielle gave one another a perculiar look and then called her name. She came into the kitchen and as she did so winced as Maddox began barking once more, my father then exclaimed "Camilla" to which she replied "I'm in here darling." Upon walking in he completely ignored my presence and instead went straight to Gabrielle to hug her. I was baffled as to why the pair of them were in such a good moods, usually it is this time of day that I attempt to avoid them unless they instigate the communication; mere hours earlier I had phoned my mother to ask if I could borrow the Rolls Royce for ascot and got the reply "Kyle! Do you honestly believe that I care about what car you take. I have much more pressing commitments at the moment. Be so kind as to hassle your father with these pointless questions. I am far too busy." haha. Slight change of mood. Gabrielle asked "Do tell me you're not pregnant.." My mother chuckled and said "No, of course not! What ever gave you that idea?" Gabrielle replied "Both of your uncharacteristic moods given the time of day." She replied "Well if you must know darling your father and I have just single handily saved a very prestigious, well known hotel from bankruptcy through purchasing a rather hefty share, meaning we are part owners of a hotel in Las Vegas." Gabrielle gasped and said "Can we call it The McQuillan and have a dance studio in there where I can teach?!" My mother and father's faces were quite the opposite to Gabrielle's look of entusiasm and they merely replied "No darling, we shan't be getting any sort of recognition for doing this - p.r. have made sure of that. Nevertheless, if you have a great desire to teach dance dear then there is no reason why we ought to do it through a hotel.. What are the pair of you doing this evening?" I replied "We're going to ascot in a few hours" My mother replied "Oh my goodness, I completely forgot it was this weekend! I want to go!" Gabrielle shouted "Do come mother!" she smiled and said "Ok, I shall. Let me ring Elliot and Kayleigh's mother's. I do believe Kelly's mother is in St. Tropez.." A few minutes later she returned to the room and said "I think we ought to get a driver there and take The Phantom... Yes we shall" she pressed a few buttons on her blackberry and turned the phone onto the loudspeaker and spoke whilst she typed away on her laptop... It was my hotel. She said "Good morning it's Mrs. McQuillan, I am calling as I require a driver - or several - this afternoon for a journey to Ascot. I imagine the cars will be provided by us thus it is merely chauffeurs that we need." The concierge replied "Unfortunately Mrs. McQuillan several of our drivers are already allocated collections etcetra this afternoon so we may not be able to-" my mother being the lady she is replied "Excuse me, my contributions over the past few years towards the running of that hotel have been somewhat vast and consistent. Therefore not only am I entitled to a chauffeur when I request one but I most certainly deserve one. So please, do save me the hassle and just arrange it. Thank you" she then hung up, smiled and said "Chauffeurs sorted. Gabrielle come join me in my wardrobe, I have several suitable dresses; I don't know whether to wear a fascinator or a hat..." 

Whilst Gabrielle and my mother went to get ready I phoned Elliot and asked how he was getting to the races. He told me that he would be driving Ellie there in his car so with that I phoned Kelly and asked whether she wished to come with me. Her response was "Yes! That is marvellous! I am running rather a lot behind schedule, I'm only just arriving home to get my makeup done and if you're driving that means we can leave at least 15 minutes later! What car are we taking?" I had a minor thought: Porsche 4x4, Porsche 911, Audi R8, Jaguar XKR, Lambourghini or borrow one from the family? I suggested the Lambourghini however she merely said "Ask your Dad for the Bugatti" I replied "Kelly do be serious! For some unknown, absurd reason he never allows me to drive it..." she tutted and said "Perhaps because you crashed it into a concrete bollard! Imbecile. Just ask and failing that I shall ask and failing that... The Rolls?"  I replied "Ohh the Rolls on which Gabrielle dented the door by opening it onto a street light? Chances of getting that one are also slim..." she replied "Makeup artist is here now, do try and text me with your response.." With that I took a deep breath and went into the office where my father was sat behind his desk on the phone. I felt as though I had been summoned to the headmaster's office haha. I took a look through some of the papers on his desk at various properties, yachts, apartments, buildings that were being renovated and so on. Once off the phone he said "I'm sorry Kyle, I'm going to have to nip to the office, I've forgotten a portfolio which I need. Is it anything important? Oh actually could you drive me, your car is out?" I wasn't going to decline, despite wanting to, as I wanted something from him, thus I drove my father to the centre of London in my Audi and parked at his offices. I wanted to go in with him - I don't know why (intrigue perhaps?) and as we entered the office there were people dashing through the corridors, people behind glass walls taking their seats and others sitting bolt upright and saying "Good afternoon Mr. McQuillan." My father would merely smile and then a few girls came over and handed him some papers and read messages to him whilst my father told them how to deal with the situation. A man then approached talking about something I did not understand in the slightest. Then, whilst still mid conversation with the man my father said "Carolyn, do tell me why you're wearing flats?" she apologised and scurried off then my father mumbled "For crying out loud" and as a lady approached to tell him something he said "Samantha, why do you think it's acceptable to dress down on a day when Camilla and I aren't in the office?" she didn't say anything and he said ".. Did I or did I not just ask you a question?" the girl said "Err, well.. I went out with friends last night and my feet are hurting-" "Ohh, so in addition you also think it's acceptable to come into work over tired due to your social life. My office." I realised at that point that she was one of the girls who my mother brought to Los Angeles with her a few weeks ago and allowed to stay in our Beverly Hills home. I felt awfully sorry for her and knew that, in her position, I would do exactly the same and swear at my father when his back was turned. With that I said "I do apologise and I know it's not your job, but could you go and get me a glass of water?" I winked at her and shook my head and then motioned for her to go, she replied "Yes of course." My father began to say something but I just said "I'm thirsty father and I have no idea where to locate a glass of water.." Jackie, the family assistant, walked down the corridor at that point and told my father that someone was here to see him and then looked at me and said "Oh hello Kyle, what on earth are you doing in a place of work?!" I replied "Dad I shall catch you up in a moment" once he had passed Jackie said "I'm afraid we'll have to walk and talk" I continued "Well, I want to borrow the Buggatti.. Is there any chance you can steal it for me?" she replied "Kyle, do not be so ridiculous" I said "Oh no it's fine, just blame it on me!" to which I got the reply "And then when you crash it just like last time who's left with the great chore of trying to get it fixed, or attempting to get it fixed in secret as requested only to get found out..." I gasped and said "You swine! You claimed you had nothing to do with that when my father asked you and blamed all of it on me, despite the fact that you were the one who suggested getting it fixed unknowing to him and then sent it off to the car fixing factory or where ever it is broken cars go" she smirked and said "Arr, poor Kyle" I wrapped my arms around her and continued to walk down the corridor with her saying "Please Jackie, please" whilst she ordered me to get off her. In the end I gave up and said "I hate you" she smiled and said told me the feeling was mutual, I then said "Oh Jackson... I appear to be unable to find my way to my father's office..." she replied "Not interested in talking to someone who hates me dear... Places to go, people to see. Talk later." And she disappeared around the corner. Swine haha. I then asked a pretty woman whom I recognised how to get there and she replied "I'm his assistant so if you'd like to follow me... Did reception grant you access? I don't believe he has any meetings or appointments booked today and I do believe he's only nipped in for a short while." I replied "Oh no. I'm his son" she extended her hand and said "Oh I do apologise. I'm Lisa. I thought I recognised you. What are you doing here, your father always claims you're not the working type and that you spend your days spending his money.." I took a quick glance at what she was wearing, Laboutin heels (at least four inches) with a pencil skirt and blouse. My father has clearly set his standards well with her haha. I replied "Oh I'm not. I'm hoping to borrow his car this afternoon to go to the races so I am merely attempting to keep him happy before I ask him" We turned a corner into a white room with a curved black glass desk topped with a grey surface, behind the desk on the wall there was a quilted leather piece of wall art which had the name of my parent's company written upon it in silver lettering. Opposite the desk there were four black and grey dome seats which surrounded a balck glass and steel coffee table and directly ahead of me there was a vast frosted glass wall. Lisa took her seat behind her desk and picked up the phone. Seconds later she said "You may enter" and pressed a button beneath her desk which immediately unfrosted the glass so that my father's entire office was visible. I walked in and the interior matched the foyer exactly, only instead of a leather wall piece there was a similar effect created through the use of wall mounded drawers which surrounded a television. I took the time to explore and opened various doors revealing coats and things, other rooms and then one door revealed another office which was vacant. I stepped inside the room which was entirely white - white lilies, white computer, white desk, white mirror, only with the occasional splash of black.. My mother's office. One one wall there was an array of photo frames all varying in size creating a collage of family photos. The most recent I saw was of me asleep on my father whilst on the yacht for my birthday - a late night with a gentleman had exhausted me haha. My father walked in and said "Kyle, what is so intriguing? You've looked in every possible place" he saw the picture I was currently looking at and said "Arrr, aren't you undeniably cute. Give your father a hug! I did so and whilst engulfed in his enormous arms I said "Dad, can I borrow the bugatti today please?" He released me from his arms and immediately said "No!" however I merely hugged tighter and said "I do love you Dad" he laughed and said "Granted, I love you too Kyle, but I'm afraid I love my cars a great deal also and therefore shan't be putting them in the hands of you my dear who insists upon driving over the speed limit and thinks he has the car in reverse, looks over his shoulder and drives forwards into a bollard." I stamped my foot and said "One time father! I have never done anything since!" he merely said "Oh shush. Let's depart."

When we arrived at my parents house I walked in along side my father and said "I'm just going to steal it!" and ran upstairs, my father was soon in pursuit shouting "Oh no you little bugger!" I ran up the next flight of stairs and into my parents bedroom, I then felt a pair of hands grip either side of me and then I was thrown onto the bed and then my father was lay ontop of my squashing the side of my face onto the bed, preventing my body from moving due to his body weight. I attempted rolling over. Failed. I then tried to kick him however his legs were pressing mine to the bed. I attempted to use my arms but he merely grabbed them and forced them onto the bed also. With me being completely unable to save myself I did the only thing I could: bellowed "Mum! Mum! Mum" my father laughed and said "Oh you big-" however Gabrielle walked in and said "What the devil are you two doing? Dad you are such an imbecile" with that he nealt up, still on my legs and grabbed Gabrielle and placed her back to back with me then wrapped his arms around both of us. As Gabrielle screamed "My hair! My hair! Dad!" he changed position so that his legs were also around us, meaning I couldn't move my arms nor my legs haha. Gabrielle also realised that we couldn't move and thus joined me in shouting our mother. My mother came running in wearing a robe with one eye closed whilst her other was made up and open she said "Harold what on earth are you doing to the children?" he just non-chalantely replied "Hugging them" she said "Oh I do say. How old are you dear? Let go" Finally I could breathe. Gabrielle climbed off the bed and said "I've just finished having my hair done! I hate you" my dad stood up and put her over his shoulder and she screamed "I don't, I don't! I love you Dad!" With that he placed her on the floor and said "Good girl.. You're learning!" I said "That's a first" I received a blow to the chest and my father said "Don't say such things about your sister" as I went to punch him back he said "Now think about what you want from me before you punch me..." I lowered my fist and he said "I shall give you the car Kyle but.. If you crash it, I get all of yours. Understood?" I replied "No!!" he said "Why ever not? You're not going to crash it are you?" I replied "No but I don't usually intend on doing so. It just occurs." "Well, you'll have to be extra careful then won't you!" and I was thrown the keys. 

Once I was changed I picked up the phone in my room and made an internal call to every phone in the house. My father picked up and said "Yes?" I asked where Gabrielle was and he told me she was in his bathroom. Thus I hung up and dialled that room. A random person picked up the phone and I asked her whether there was a hairdresser in the house to which she replied "Yes, me." I then went back upstairs, through a part of the enormous walk-in and into the bathroom. Gabrielle and my mother were both dressed, my mother in a strapless cream dress from Azzaro which had detailing on one side at the knee, her hair was up and her eyes were smokey whilst she wore a rather large fascinator with black netting and feathered flowers. I asked where it was from and she said "A friend got it from backstage at a Chanel show for me a while ago." Gabrielle was wearing a white Roland Mouret dress with sleek hair, classy (yet edgy) makeup and an oversized hat. Gabrielle and my mother departed earlier than I and Lee, Chloe, Jessica, Maxwell and Mat went via helicopter. When I got to Kelly's house I was invited in by her mother who told me Kelly would not be long. After twenty minutes waiting Kelly came downstairs wearing a dress she informed me was by Michael Kors along with an over sized hat and some white platforms from Gucci. Now finally ready we went and got back into my father's Bugatti and set off on the should-be 45 minute journey to Ascot. As we left Kelly asked how late we were, I told her how Gabrielle and my mother left about half an hour prior to when we set off she said "Well thank goodness we're in this car. I don't doubt that you'll makeup for lost time on the motorway..." That we most certainly did. My somewhat speedy driving resulted in us arriving a mere 10 minutes after my mother and sister and at more or less the same time as those who flew. My mother disappeared once we had arrived and the rest of us went to our box. When we entered Ellie was already in there sporting a rather large bump and was joined by Elliot, Marisa and various other friends. Ellie looked adorable wearing a Philip Lim maxi dress and a black fascinator. If you were to see her from the chest up or hips down you would be completely unaware of her pregnancy as she still boasts her slim frame. 

As the afternoon went on I became progressively intoxicated and my mother messaged me at one point asking me to go to her box because someone wanted to see me. Joy! I did as I was told and went to her box and entered a room which was filled with glamorous people all my parents age with the occasional person my age. I found my mother amongst the crowd who also seemed a little drunk and upon seeing her she threw her arms around me and said "Kyle! Darling! Do come with me" she lead me to a group of ladies all of whom looked affluent and glamorous, I wasn't really paying that much attention at the time as I was waving to Kayleigh's mother who was accross the room. Then my mother said "Kyle this is Lauren, you've met her on several occasions before when we've been in New York and also once I London if I remember correctly." I did not remember her in the slightest but I humoured them both and pretended I did and kissed Lauren on either cheek, she said "Well, it has been a considerable amount of time since I have been in contact with your mother and I would just like to inform you Kyle that  one of the characters in one of my novels is based on you, from when I met you and from things your mother has told me about you" I looked at my mother and smirked and said "Oh really? Which character would that be?" she replied "Phillip Weston his name is.. Oh please excuse me" I looked at my mother and my smile dropped from my face and I said "Well thank you for that mother.. What an excellent reason to take me away from my friends" someone then smacked me on my behind and I turned to see my father looking rather smart in his suit, I asked "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming." he replied "Well I wasn't however I was slightly bored and Elliot's Dad said that he'd come. Of course I couldn't come in my own car could I seeing as my wretched little son got his own way as usual and took it thus I took yours." I said "Daaddd! You could have asked! Which car?" he replied "Kyle - I bought the car, pay for the petrol, pay for servicing, pay for mot's and any other costs which are incurred... I do not have to ask permission. Your Lambourghini by the way. Not to worry, I already know about the hundreds of condoms you keep in the glove compartment" at that point my mother's lip curled and she made a noise to make it evident she was disgusted before walking away, I said "Thank you for that" and began to leave before my dad grabbed me and said "Hug your father before you leave Kyle!" I did so as it wasn't worth trying not to and another woman said "Oh look! Aren't these two just the best looking pair of males! He certainly takes after his father! Do allow me to take a picture, I'm sure Camilla would love it" she had clearly been consuming champagne all day and whilst I displayed an arkward smile and thought of ways of getting myself out of the situation my Dad put his arm around my waist and began to smile. The lady then said "Where's your daughter Harold! I'd love to meet her again" my Dad said "Oh she's just down the hallway, Kyle go and get her" I turned my head and whispered "Highly intoxicated, possibly a bad idea.." my dad then said "Oh Kyle tells me she's elsewhere... Who knows where she'll be!" My father and I had the flaming picture taken and then I was finally free to leave just as I was walking out of the door my father shouted "Kyle remember, if you're going to bet you ought to ask me first..." Please! Since when had I asked permission to spend my parents money?! 

All in all we had a splendid afternoon. I lost some money, Elliot won some and then rubbed his success in my face. My father phoned me shouting how much he had won through sheer excitement and Gabrielle, need I say, lost (due to the fact she placed a bet on the horse which she believed had the nicest name, not the one which stood the best chance of winning.) My mother text me at some point in the afternoon and said: You had no idea who that lady was did you? I replied telling her that she was infact correct and she said Oh you imbecile! She used to work at Vogue, I know her through Kayleigh's mother! She's the writer of The Devil Wears Prada! ... Lauren Weisberger? x When I read the message I gasped slightly and Gabrielle asked what I was shocked about. When I explained it to her she said "Oh my goodness! Have you read it?" I replied no and then took out my phone to ring Jackie when she answered she said "What've you done now?" I replied "Nothing Jackson!" When she heard that I was rather drunk she said "Oh Kyle... Before you ask I shan't come out at this time and drop you off some condoms or drive you and your one night stand to your hotel or bring you a different wallet or what ever else you're going to ask" What she had said didn't even register and I replied "I.. am in a book" she replied "Right Kyle, I don't quite understand. Would you like me to inform PR?" I said "No, no, no.. I want the book. It's called everyone you need to know" I don't know how the rest of the conversation went from then on. I do recall later on in the night realising that I had no hotel reservation, was well over the limit and therefore could not get home or find anywhere to stay. I don't know why but I ended up getting a helicopter back to the city and leaving my father's car at the racecourse - he didn't know that of course! 

When we were back in London Kelly's father picked us up and then I invited everyone back to my house. Kelly insisted that her father went via her house first where she ran in and returned seconds later. When we finally arrived at my house everyone had already let themselves in with their keys which they all seemed to possess some how and the entire room service menu had been ordered. From then on I was drinking none other than water whilst a few of the others had got bottles of wine. Ellie went to bed early whilst everyone else stayed up. Everyone was slurring their words and having their own conversations then Gabrielle said "Everyone.. I may as well tell you all now that I have a boyfriend..." I didn't say anything and I think I looked like I was in a mood, I remember Gabrielle having one side of her face screwed up as she turned slowly to see my reaction Kelly on the other hand just exclaimed "What?! Why?" Gabrielle moaned a little and then said "You two" indicating me and Kelly "are the ones who I have been dreading telling. Look at Kyle's face!" She informed us all that she had met him at a work event whilst in Los Angeles and they 'had clicked immediately' ugh. He is English and has a law degree from Oxford and now worked for an international organisation, splitting his time between London, New York and occasionally Los Angeles... I suppose she could have done worse! Kayleigh insisted that she phoned him immediately and had him come over Gabrielle looked at me and said "As long as Kyle doesn't punch him I shall" I told her I wouldn't and she did so. Shortly afterwards Gabrielle went to the front door and came in holding the hand of a tall, muscular, tanned, brown haired man. Kelly looked at me and said "Well I'd sleep with him" I replied "Me too.. Shall we give him a hard time anyway?" She replied "Why of course." Oscar as he was called came over to me and said "You must be Kyle. Gabrielle has told me an awful lot about you and how you'd be a tough nut to crack so to speak" I replied "Oh really? Well you didn't make a very good first impression did you? With those being your first words and your choice of attire." He moved on to Kelly who he told he had just come in from Maddox, Kelly said "Oh my father owns that nightclub. A man who is spoken for, out on the nightlife scene with a group of males. Now, now I shall be having someone keep an eye on you." Gabrielle snapped "Kyle, Kelly... A word if you would" Once outside the drawing room she said "I know exactly what the pair of you are doing now stop. It is completely unnecessary. I like him and you are just going to have to learn to also." When we got back into the drawing room Kelly and I sat together and discussed why anyone would want a partner meanwhile Gabrielle and Oscar cuddled on the couch. At one point he started to caress her leg but she moved his hand, shook her head and when he looked confused she moved her eyes in my direction haha. 

When Kelly and I finally decided to go to bed we were still a little drunk and once in my bedroom she said "I've got a surprise for you!" and pulled a video camera out of her bag, smiling. "What on earth?" was my immediate reaction and she said "Let's video ourselves, I bought it solely for this purpose. No one else will see it. It's for my own personal use - practise my moves. Sportsmen do the exact same thing to see where they've gone wrong thus that is what I am doing. I would have used it with someone at some point this week but I spoke to the lawyer about it and she told me that I could get sued so I shall use it with you." The prospect of seeing my flaws in the bedroom seemed rather beneficial and thus I agreed and Kelly and I put on a rather spectacular performance haha. In the morning I woke up feeling fine with a head resting between my armpit and my chest when I moved my arm slightly I was surprised to feel stubbble as opposed to long hair and when I looked it was Lee who was lying on me and Kelly was by his side however both were fast asleep and I was exhausted so I left them both and closed my eyes. I was finally woken by Lee who moaned of heaving a headache continuously so I merely told him to stop speaking at which point he said "Oh, is Kyle moody due to lack of sleep?" and then decided to straddle me. I replied "Why is it that you insist on being so annoying?" whilst I said it I placed my hand on his shoulder and pushed him over to the side and then got on top of him so that his legs were still straddled around my middle and he was lay on his back and said "But if you insist..." and I began to remove his underwear. Being straight he was struggling and shouting "Kyle! Stop!" Then Kelly woke up and looked at us both and said "What are you doing?" I replied "Raping Lee" and she said "Oh ok, try and keep him quiet though. Perhaps gag him..." I didn't actually do anything to him, I just made him think I was going to and when he shouted "Please!" I allowed him to go. Kelly then woke up and shouted "Woo! Let's watch our video. Plug the camera into the television!" After several attempts I finally managed to accomplish the simple task and the pair of us sat and watched ourselves haha. All the while pointing out to one another where we were going wrong. I'll admit that there were few flaws and after watching the very lengthy performance with room service I said "We are exceptionally good Kelly!"  she replied "We most certainly are! Imagine how desirable that video would be if anyone saw it..." We both got up and went into the drawing room where everyone else was and Elliot said "Have you two just had sex?" Everyone, including Gabrielle's boyfriend who I had forgotten came (and who looked even more good looking than I remembered) looked at us and Kelly non-chalantely said "No, we were watching pornographic material... Of ourselves" a few people laughed, Gabrielle of course turned up her lip and looked disgusted and asked why we would want to do that to which Kelly said "Ugh you can all moan but sportsmen do it all the time to see where they're going wrong doing what they do best. This is exactly the same, only what Kyle and I do best is intercourse. For example in dancing Gabrielle, your choreographed pieces would not be as good as they are if you didn't practise them in front of a mirror..." 

Gabrielle asked me if Oscar could borrow a suit for work which I reluctantly agreed to and then I asked Elliot to drive me to go get my father's car. Once we arrived at the race course I said goodbye to Elliot and began the drive home. Whilst on my way home my father phoned me and I answered, he said "Kyle, where are you?" I told him I was on my way back from Ascot and he said "Oh, where did you stay last night?" That I did not have an answer for and nor could I tell him that I had stayed at home and left his car there unattended thus I said "Sorry Dad, I can't talk, I'm driving..." and hung up the phone. Later that day I went for a rather lengthy run with Maddox (my dog) and then selected a random number from my phone book and went to his house for the rest of the afternoon. Once my needs were seen to, I waited at my parent's house for their return from work. Whilst Maddox played with my mother's Shiba Inu, Pretitia, I recieved a message saying Hello Kyle, it's Oscar. I was just wondering where you were so that I could return this suit to you. Or alternatively I can leave it at your hotel... Gabrielle gave me your number. I replied saying I'm at my parent's house, presumably you know where it is... They're not in so it's not to worry. He replied Ok, I'll be there in a short while. About ten minutes later Gabrielle entered the house along with four other girls and two men. She was on the phone when she entered and all I heard was "Ok, I'll get it now" before she went running upstairs. I looked down the hallway at who was here, a couple of whom I noticed and one I was friends with. I told them to all come into the kitchen and asked what they were doing, however once I had asked I guessed what. All wearing sports bras/ crop tops with jogging bottoms whilst the men wore vests it was clearly that they were going dancing. Gabrielle came back downstairs a couple of minutes later wearing a tracksuit of mine and said "Jackie said she's left that book you wanted on your bed. Despite the fact you gave her the wrong title - I have no idea what she's talking about" nor did I until I remembered my conversation with her the other night and when I did became rather excited! I told her that Oscar was coming round shortly and she said "Oh really. Did you take a liking to him after your attempted intimidation with your partner in crime?" I replied "Well I wouldn't exactly say that I liked him Gabrielle. I would sleep with him though - would you mind if I did?" her friends laughed and she said "Kyle don't you dare! You all may laugh at the prospect but this is nothing out of the norm, he's done it on countless occasions before, perhaps not with boyfriends but with people whom I've had sexual relations with and if he can't manage that then he often manages oral sex. Quite a disgraceful sibling aren't you?" I replied "If you say so dear. What are you all doing anyway?" Gabrielle replied "A little Micheal Jackson tribute of our own. Each of us has learnt a different dance to teach the rest of the group." I replied "Oh, is that why bad was playing over and over again the other day?" she told me it was and went down to the lower level to the dance studio/gym with her friends. After twenty minutes or so of replying to text messages and e-mails Oscar arrived at the house wearing jeans and a t-shirt and I invited him in. I returned to my seat at the island in the kitchen and asked him if he would like a drink, he said he would and I replied "Well I don't mean to be a swine but I've just sat down and ran seven miles a few hours ago so I can't be bothered getting back up. See what's in the refrigerator... I figured that if this man was going to be going out with my sister than it ought to be best that I am able to tolerate him thus we sat and had a conversation. Oscar asked whether I had any intentions of getting a job. No. Whether I had ever worked. No. I then asked about his job and became bored within seconds and then told him that Gabrielle was downstairs in order to get off that particular conversation topic haha. I lead him downstairs past the pool towards the studio. We watched for a short while as they danced to Micheal Jackson's bad and then Gabrielle noticed us and told us to come in. She said "Have you come to join us for a dance gentlemen?" Oscar dismissed the prospect however I performed my best pirouette (as taught by Gabrielle) and then caught her as she jumped towards me haha. She then said "We've only learnt bad and choreographed one for man in the mirror..." she said that as though it was dissappointing - she'd been down there for approximately twenty minutes! Oscar insisted that they all performed which they did and once they had finished both pieces Gabrielle said "You have not just witnessed my true potential.. If we were dancing to swan lake I would outshine this lot hands down haha!" With the dance she had just done she was unable to do so as they were all dancing the exact same moves in perfect time with one another more or less throughout apart from the odd improvisation. Gabrielle continued "I'm bored of dancing to Michael Jackson now... Let's all learn the one Brian and I choreographed!" The Brian whom she speaks of is Brian Freidman, the man who works on X-factor in England and choreographs for Britney Spears and judges on so you think you can dance. Gabrielle walked over to her ipod and put on the song Black and Gold and began to dance. Oh my goodness. I could barely see what she was doing she was going that quick haha. 

When Oscar and I went back upstairs my mother and father were there. They said hello to me and then noticed I was with Oscar, my mother exhaled as though she had lost the will to live and said "Kyle.. We pay a hefty sum for that hotel of yours so that you can take your fornicating elsewhere." I was shocked and said "Oh mother please! This is Gabrielle's boyfriend!" Now my father looked appalled and said "Boyfriend? Oh..." haha. Oops. I had no idea they were unaware of the fact she had a boyfriend. My thoughts were this should be amusing thus I took a seat and my father continued "Well Gabrielle hasn't mentioned you so I doubt you hold any great importance in my daughter's life." My mother said "Well nevertheless, you'll have to join us for dinner Thursday evening... Here" my father shot back "It is not an occasion which ought to be celebrated Camilla. This boy is merely the latest fling just like that other promiscuous off-spring of ours has!" I could have guessed I'd get dragged in "What is your name?" Oscar replied and my father said "You see, the name has not been mentioned" my mother then said "Well I doubt I would mention the name of a boyfriend to my father if I knew this was going to be his reaction. Please excuse him Oscar and I do apologise for this dreadful first impression" my father stood there looking miserable whilst I sat and watched with a drink. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs was then apparent and Gabrielle stood in the doorway to the kitchen looking gob smacked, she looked at my father's face who stared at her and then said "Oh... This looks comfortable." My mother said "Oh ignore your father. I was just saying how Oscar will have to come for dinner on Thursday. I insist. Clear your diary and be here for 5 pm or thereabouts." I replied "Mother, me and Gabrielle are going out on Thursday" she said "Well I do apologise but you'll just have to go out afterwards. You're coming too." Gabrielle look awkward and said "Well that ought to be an experience..."  Once my parents had left the room Oscar said "Well your father hates me" Gabrielle said "It's merely in general any male who he hasn't approved who does as much as breathe on me... Kyle what may I ask were you doing whilst Dad made the situation unbareable for Oscar?" I replied "Oh I just sat and watched dear" Gabrielle looked back to Oscar and said "Like father like son... Do you want to come out with us all on Thursday? Kayleigh's back from Marbella so you can meet her! We'll go after dinner." 

When Thursday arrived I went and saw Ellie for a short while and took her and her bump for lunch and then dropped her at Sam's where she was spending the night due to the rest of us going out. I then went home where I changed ready for dinner and post dinner partying. I was wearing grey Valentino pants along with a plain white shirt and a neck scarf and a pair of shoes from Dior. I arrived at my parents where my mother was wearing a black jumpsuit from Halston with a pair of Laboutin shoes and my father was wearing an outfit much the same as mine. Gabrielle then arrived with Oscar. Gabrielle was wearing nothing but a blazer she said was from Alexander McQueen along with tights an illuminous pink bra which was slightly visable, a black clutch from Jimmy Choo and Alexander McQueen booties which had a hot pink underside along with a gold Rolex watch and bracelet. We all sat down in the drawing room and had a few glasses of Cristal and then were called through to the dining room as dinner was served. We sat with a couple of house keeping staff stood around catering to any needs we may have. My mother of course did not cook - Jake (their chef) had been slaving away all day haha. Much to my dismay my father seemed to be taking a liking to Oscar which was fairly boring and at one point said "Well I am shocked by your occupation. I imagined you'd just be like, well, Kyle really." Charming... As we sat there for dinner I asked the question I had been waiting to ask for quite some time: "Dad... Is there any chance I can have the new Aston Martin? Delivery starts in around October time I've heard..." my father laughed and said "I was wondering when you'd ask about that" Gabrielle shot "He can't just have a car like that! What are you going to get me?!" I shouted "Please Gabrielle! You were bought a Lambourghini just because you got that wretched job in Los Angeles" she said "So... That one-77 costs an awful lot more than my Lambourghini Kyle!" We began arguing about who got what until my father hushed us and said "Well Kyle, I always treat you fairly and I told you I would make it up to you. So... If you get a job and stick at it, I will purchase you the car. If not, then you will merely have to keep the ones you have. Although, Gabrielle is right, the one-77 is an awful lot more expensive." I replied "Well I have no longing to keep my Jaguar anymore. What happens to cars when you no longer want them? Are they sold or recycled?" My father looked at me as though as I was stupid and Gabrielle said "Oh yeah... Where do they go? It's not often you see a big pile of cars somewhere is it? Where do they put them all? In the sea?" Now not even I thought that that was a possibility however my father said "No, the cars are sold to another owner" Oscar was still amused by Gabrielle's comment, the rest of us were used to them. 

Just as desert was served Gabrielle and I took the chance to look at our phones. I had a message from Lee saying Heard your having dinner with that grogeous mother of yours this evening - I'm going to be late out too. Come to my apartment beforehand and we'll go together. I replied and told him that desert was just being served thus I could probably escape in half an hour he replied Ok sex god. See you in a short while. I asked Gabrielle who she was texting and she said "Oh a few girls from university. I haven't been out with them in quite a while so I think I'm going to go and meet up with them first and then I shall text you later on to see where you are." Oscar said that he would join her and once dessert was over we went to the drawing room for some drinks. I however had begun to feel rather ill thus I skipped the drinks and even contemplated not going out however Gabrielle said "Oh Kyle! You must. Kayleigh has only just come home." I reluctantly agreed to going, however decided that I wouldn't drink and would go in the car so that I could return home for an early night - depending on what the gentlemen were like that is. I left my parents house shortly after my mother took Oscar and Gabrielle to where ever it was that they were going and drove to Lee's apartment in my Lambourghini. I parked my car and then let myself in using the keys which I had and went upstairs. Once in the apartment he shouted "Hello? Mum?" I replied "No it is not your mother you imbecile" he walked out of the powder room wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and said "Oh.. You were quick. I'm still not ready." I replied "Yes I can see" and tried my best to not look at his body too much as it was killing me haha. It was, however, a futile attempt and I asked "Can we have sex Lee?" he looked at me as though I had just requested for him to go and eat from the bin and said "No Kyle, how many times must I tell you!" I found myself begging him and then proposing oral sex to which he said "Well I would be a fool to refuse that from you..." and dropped the towel. Success!

Despite the fact I had received various insults for my decision to not drink, when we had finished (at around midnight) we departed Lee's apartment in my car. Whilst on the way we text Kayleigh to see where she was and met her and the rest of the group in fifty. Upon arrival I asked Kayleigh whether she enjoyed her holiday with her family in Marbella to which she replied "No I hated it from the moment I boarded that jet. My swine of a brother came with us so as you can imagine every second was spent arguing or inflicting pain upon him. Thus I punished my parents for that and spent hundreds, if not thousands, daily as a way of getting me out of that villa away from my brother and comforting myself. I am so thankful to be back, I have missed you all dearly. I simply cannot wait to meet Gabrielle's boyfriend Oscar. It would be a stupid question to ask whether you approve wouldn't it.." I laughed and then Kelly joined in the conversation. An hour or so passed and then Kelly said "Kyle, I insist that you have a drink. What can I get you?" She ordered me a cocktail and when it came I looked at my phone to see that Oscar was ringing me. I answered and could not hear a word that was being said so I merely hung up. Seconds later I received a text message from Oscar saying Gabrielle's drink has been spiked! .. We're in Zoo bar in Leicester Square! I was puzzled by what this meant and said to Elliot "What does it mean if you're drinks been spiked?" he shrugged and said no idea I turned to Kayleigh who was sat on the other side of me and asked her and she said "It means there's been drugs put in it - usually so they can rape you" My face dropped and I immediately jumped up, everyone stopped their conversations and looked concerned and said "What's wrong?" I stood on the table as an easy way of getting out and said "Gabrielle's drink has been drugged, she's in Zoo bar on Leicester Square. Meet me there!" Kayleigh shouted "I'm coming with you!" whilst Felicity shouted "Shit! Get your fucking shoes off girls and run!" On my way out I handed two hundred pounds in cash to a waitress for our bill and hoped someone else would give her some more whilst I continued running. Kayleigh was sprinting next to me with her shoes in her hand. We got to my car and I got in and turned the engine on immediately we drove around the block where we saw the rest of the group getting into taxi's and I slammed my foot down and made my way to Leicester square. Kayleigh and I were quite literally being forced back into our seats whilst I was shouting "Why the hell has that idiot allowed this to happen to her!?!" Kayleigh, who was grasping the door handle said "Kyle just try and stay calm, don't do anything rash" I shouted "How can I when my sister has been drugged" I felt bad for doing so and began to cry a little and said "What do I do, ring my parents?" she replied "Just see how she is first" and rubbed my leg for comfort. We arrived there in a record 4 minutes and pulled up directly outside the club where a queue of student looking people stared at the car and cheered etc. We both got out and people began taking pictures on their phones (imbeciles) and we went directly to the front of the queue.The man lifted the velvet rope and walked we in, he shouted to me "Sir, you can't leave your car there" I replied "Think of it as positive PR! Watch it for me!" Once inside people stared but I barged my way through the crowd to a seated area where I found a mere crowd where Gabrielle was slumped. Kayleigh saw her first and hit everyone on their arms with her bag and said "Move.. Out of my way! MOVE!" When I got to her Oscar was sat holding her with his forehead against hers saying something to her, I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him to standing (buttons flew off) and then turned him around and said "Here now aren't you! Where the hell were you when this happened to her?!" he shouted "Kyle I don't know when it happened" I pushed him and he fell backwards whilst I shouted "You're useless!" I sat down next to Gabrielle and said her name. Her jaw was moving of its own accord and she slapped her arm on my face before it dropped back down and she said "Kil" she started crying and continued "what's sapenning oo me" she threw her arms over my shoulders and slumped down before her arms gradually began to slip off and she slipped down my torso. I sat her back up and her head rolled around as did her eyes when they opened for a second. I made someone go and get a bottle of water when the rest of the group arrived. They pushed everyone out of the way and replaced them around the table. Kelly began to cry when she saw her and I heard Elliot behind me say "I would strongly advise you not to" and then Oscar was over my shoulder saying "I think she needs to go to hospital" I didn't even look at him and said "I am fully aware of that Oscar" he replied "Pretty soon Kyle" I turned and said "Do not tell me how to look after my sister" Elliot pulled him away and said something and he said "This is my girlfriend! I'm not just leaving her with him, he doesn't know what to do in this type of situation" Elliot closed his eyes as I swung my arm back and hit Oscar in the centre of the face, sending him flying once more onto the floor. Kayleigh stood up and shouted "Stop it immediately! What would Gabrielle say to the pair of you if she were conscious? For one she would be appalled that you had just hit her boyfriend and you would be finished for even suggesting that her brother was incompetant. Now be cival and co-operate for Gabrielle sake! That is all that matters at this moment in time!" I turned to Kelly and said "Ring my Dad and tell him to meet me at the hospital. Kayleigh, could you ring your parents and ask one of them to give them a lift to the hospital, they were drinking during dinner and won't be able to drive, Kelly explain that to him on the phone." I picked up the phone myself and rang Max (the family lawyer) and told him what had happened I then said "Is there any chance you can come down here tonight and get hold of cctv footage or talk to management of this club about their policy on allowing drugs onto their premises." A doorman came over and said "What's going on here?" when he saw Gabrielle he said "She's a mess, get her out!" Elliot went over to her and said "She is in this way due to the fact that the incompetent imbeciles who stand on the door of this club granted access to some yob who put something in her drink! So don't you dare call her a mess! Regardless of what state she's in she will always have more class than you" the next thing I knew Elliot was wrestling with the man and another came and dragged him outside whilst Kayleigh hit him over the head with her bag and said "Don't you dare! Oh you stupid little jobs worth!" Then she was grabbed and taken with them whilst she shouted "Get your hands off me! My father will have this hole shut down!" I then put Gabrielle's arm around my neck and carried her. She was like a dead body and just dangled. Once outside Elliot was shouting at the doormen about something to do with he ought to consider himself sacked as a lawyer was on his way whilst Kayleigh made her way down the queue telling everyone that Gabrielle had just had her drink spiked - the girls in the queue all looked at each other and began to leave and once they did the men did too. However as they made their way out of the queue there was a huge roar and my father's Bugatti had pulled up behind my car. My mother stepped out and said "Your father's on his way to the hospital with Kayleigh's Dad, I came here first to see if you were still here" I had already put Gabrielle into the passenger seat at this point and was running around the other side of the car putting my destination into the Satellite Navigation. Upon seeing Gabrielle my mother said "Oh my goodness" as Gabrielle vomitted for a fourth time then turned to the manager who was now stood at the door and said "Under what circumstances do you allow people to get drugged in your nightclub?! My lawyer will be in touch" Elliot then said "He's already on his way" she turned back to Gabrielle and said "Is she even conscious?" I ran round to the other side of the car to ensure she was in properly and told the others that they were welcome to go my house and wait - I could take Gabrielle there on return. My mother said "Kyle, go! I'll be right behind you. Oscar, I imagine she'd want you there. What on earth has happe- oh." They both walked towards the car and my mother shouted "Put your cameras away, imbeciles!" I got into the drivers seat and turned on the engine and put down the window then Lee handed me Gabrielle's clutch and said "Here's her bag, her money has all gone but I've informed Jackie and she's cancelling her cards. I'll see you later." Gabrielle was flying all over the place as I drove at plus seventy miles an hour for the entire way and at one point said "You're appear to be going the wrong 'ay.. I'm staying at my blothers" and then she was sick again. When I looked in my rear view mirror my mother was directly behind me also speeding which is practically unheard of. We arrived at the hospital and I pulled up in the Abulance bay where my father was stood and he got her out, I then went to park the car and almost ran over my mother who had already parked and was running in her heels into the hospital. 

When I finally got into the hospital Gabrielle was slumped in a chair against my father whilst my mother said "Harold this is not the time nor the place now for goodness sake may we just focus on Gabrielle!" Evidently he had just said something to the swollen faced Oscar who was currently sporting a rather awful open necked shirt due to the now lack of buttons (curtsey of myself.) For the next couple of hours we sat and waited whilst Gabrielle vomited a few times and my mother complained endlessly about the lack of attention we were being paid when finally a nurse came over to take a blood sample. Thirty minutes later when no one had returned and Gabrielle was still vomiting everywhere my mother went and asked one of the members of staff once more. As she did so an obese intoxicated woman who looked as though she'd just rolled out of bed after a week said "What makes you think you deserve better treatment that the rest of us, just because you've got fancy fucking hair and some high heels?" My mother turned up her lip and said "No, because unlike some - my daughter hasn't inflicted the state she is in upon herself and is currently sat over there unconcious" the woman laughed and said "Oh fuck off" My mother's lip was still turned up and she said "Oh please. You make it sound as though I have a longing to be in your presence. Do be serious. Your complete lack of class repulses me and I would appreciate it if you would not direct any sort of conversation towards myself." My mother turned and walked away and the woman said "Look at her thinking she looks gorgeous. She's no better." My mother stopped in her tracks and turned on the spot, she took a glance down her own body, dressed down in a pair of leggings with a Stella McCartney knitted cape, plain white t-shirt and Brian Atwood thigh high boots which cost over a thousand pounds she then looked at the woman who was wearing a pair of elasticated faded jeans along with a size twenty faded pink top which had food stains down the front. My mother merely smirked and walked away. Following that two other citizens from London's slums came over (males) wearing shell suits and trainers and stopped in front of Gabrielle. One nudged the other then he placed one hand down his pants and said "How facking fine is she!" As soon as he did so both my father and I jumped to our feet and stood in front of them. One turned however the other stood there and swayed staring at us and made no attempt of moving. His friend returned and whispered something in his ear yet he still did not move and said "Problem mate?" I replied "Yes" and then he said "Deal with it!" and punched me right across the jaw. My head moved with the punch however as he laughed with his friend I merely moved my jaw slightly and turned my head back towards him, smiled and as I was going to hit him back my father had kicked the back of his knees and bent down to grab his feet. He then dragged the boy outside whilst he struggled and passed the nurse and said "Do excuse me one moment." I looked at the other boy and said "Outside. Now!" When I got outside my father was holding the eighteen year old yob by the scruff of his neck against the wall so that his feet weren't on the floor shouting something at him. The boy then kicked my father thus he grabbed his ankles and spun him around so that it was now his head that wasn't touching the floor. I heard my father say "Now see to it that you do not come anywhere near me or my family again!" He took one of the boys arms so that he was holding him up sideways and then dropped him onto the concrete. 

A short while later the nurse returned telling us that Gabrielle's drink had been spiked with (I can't remember the name) otherwise known as date rape. It causes all the muscles in the body to relax (for obvious reasons) hence why Gabrielle felt like a corpse when I carried her. She then advised that we get her some fresh air and then home to bed. My mother said "Where is she going to stay?" I told her that everyone was at my house worried about her and she said "Kyle, I can't leave her; I'm her mother. Ring your friends and tell them to go to our house, it is more than big enough to accommodate them." I turned to Oscar and asked him where he was staying and he replied "Now that I know she's going to be ok I shall leave her with her friends and family. May I just ask that you ask her to ring me in the morning. I replied "Yes, certainly" and he phoned for a chauffeur to come and collect him. As I carried Gabrielle to where the cars were she touched my face and slurred "I don't feel right.. Ring my brother. Don't tell my parents - they'll kill me" haha. I text Elliot and told him to get the hotel to drive them all to my parents house and have one of the house keeping staff let them in. When we arrived back at the house everyone was sat there and once again Kelly cried. My mother asked me to carry her upstairs so that Kelly and Kayleigh could get her out of her clothes and into bed. When I went into the kitchen for a drink my father said "So... Why did you punch Oscar then?" I told my father my motif for doing so and he replied "Well if you hadn't of done I imagine I would have. Swine!" Then I heard "Harold you would have done no such thing and I Kyle I expect you to apologise to Oscar in the morning. I have brought you up better than to go around punching people. Nevertheless, you were excellent tonight so thank you for that dear." She kissed me on the forehead and went to bed, my father said "Yes Kyle, you were a model sibling and son tonight which makes a change. Give your father a hug!" I hugged him and whilst doing so he said "Therefore, with regards to your Aston Martin, I will agree that if you get a job and I shall get rid of your Jaguar then following a months worth of work I shall purchase the car for you." I groaned and he said "How's your jaw by the way?" Elliot walked into the room with Kayleigh at that point and I replied "Oh please! It's fine. It's as though I was being hit by some ineffectual person such as yourself." My father wrapped his arm around my neck and said "Pardon my sweet sweet child" as he tightened his grip. Elliot then said "Honestly Haz, you're like the child of the group!" My father said "Watch it you swine. I'll swing for you too!" Elliot laughed and told him how he'd already fought for the evening and then Kayleigh told him of her being removed from the night club also - my father found it highly amusing and said "I'll have my father shut this hole down? Minor Cliche Kayleigh dear but effective all the same! It's the famous one liner for an unemployed girl with affluent parents haha." 

In the morning all of us got up and Jake (the family chef) had prepared a range of pastries etc. for breakfast. Once we had all eaten Gabrielle came into the dining room looking rather hungover and said "What on earth did I drink last night? I don't remember a thing and my legs feel like jelly..." My mother told her to sit down and then told her what had happened. None of which she recalled. As she told her she burst into tears and went and sat on my father's lap for comfort. My father tried to hide the fact that he was crying also however it was clear that he was. The doorbell then rang and seconds later Ellie came running (or the pregnant equivalent) into the dining room with Sam and said "Where's Gabrielle?! Oh there you are darling" she ran over and hugged her for a while and then began eating and said "I can't wait to get this thing out of me... I permanently have no energy; plus I feel fat and cannot stop eating sushi. I made my Dad go out in search of some at 3 o'clock in the morning a couple of nights ago. I simply cannot wait to actually have a baby girl however the giving birth part petrifies me somewhat. How is this enormous thing supposed to get out of" her voice trailed off and she crossed her legs and danced a little haha. 

That day Gabrielle was rather disorientated and fell over about three times. The next day I received a phone call from her saying "Kyle I have just crashed my car into a wall! I'm coming to pick you up, we need to go for lunch." She came and collected me from a male's house (I was there for obvious reasons) in her Ferrari which was rather smashed at the front. I got in and she drove us to Le Caprice yet stalled at least three times on the way. When we arrived there she opened her door directly into another car leaving a huge dint in both. She gasped and said "Kyle, what's happening to me?!" I had no idea and she said "What shall I do? Put some money under the windscreen wiper?" I didn't know so, as usual, she phoned Jackie (the family p.a.) and asked what one is to do when you damage another car. She told her to write her details on a piece of paper and put that under the windscreen wiper and also stick one inside her window incase it rained. Of course, Gabrielle didn't have any paper with her nor did I so she wrote in liquid eyeliner on the back of a receipt from Harrods. During lunch Gabrielle moaned at me somewhat for punching Oscar the other evening and questioned why I hadn't yet apologised. Oops haha. I was however saved when her phone began to ring and she said "Oh hello there. Yes I do apologise for that, you see I had my drink drugged in a night club a couple of nights ago and disorientation is apparently one of the side effects... I'm in Le Caprice just around the corner if  you would like to come in and talk. Ok." I asked whether it was a man or a woman and she said "A man thankfully!" Whilst diving into her bag and spraying some perfume and fixing her hair slightly. She waved at a grey haired man who appeared to be looking for someone and he came over and smiled and said "Owner of the Ferrari?" She replied "Yes, again, my apologies. Now please excuse me as I am oblivious as to what to do when something such as this occurs. Do I just pay you or..." He laughed and said "Well normally you would have to give me your insurance details and I would claim off that, resulting in your monthly payments rising. However, seeing as you are a nice girl and sympathy is due I shall accept a cheque or equivalent." Gabrielle looked at me and said "Hmm, a cheque. Actually, I do believe I may have a cheque book in that car. Kyle pay the bill." I placed sixty pounds on with the receipt which had been left on the table and left with Gabrielle and the man. She walked ahead with him and shook his hand introducing herself and then seemed like she was enjoying her conversation. When I got to the car she was sat in the passenger seat searing through sunglasses and other various things and then went to her boot and opened it. Oh my. There were about fifteen bags and other various shopping bags. As she searched through she said "Our assistant has one of those cars, they're nice aren't they.." She was refering to his Mercedes CLS... Jackie actually had a CL haha. She rolled her eyes at me as she said it and tried to look interested as he talked about it being his wife's car, Gabrielle found a pair of Chanel shoes as she searched through the boot and said "Oo" then removed her own and put those on haha, she asked what size feet his wife was, he looked a little puzzled and he said "A five and a half I think" Gabrielle said "Oh, I'm a three." This wasn't completely random, I presume she was going to give her a pair of brand new shoes from her boot as her way of apologising. She then opened a Jimmy Choo shopping bag and said "Oh! Give her this as my way of apologising... It retails at over one and a half thousand pounds so I am sure she will appreciate it" He took out the Jimmy Choo pony skin bag and said "Oh. Thank you! I'm sure she'll love this! Thank you." Gabrielle got back into the car and looked under the seat and then shouted "Found it!" she came out of the car with a battered cheque book and said "Do you have a pen?" he handed her one and she said "How much do broken doors cost? A thousand pounds? More?" he looked at the car and said "Well I imagine they'll be able to just remove the dint so a thousand should be more than enough." Gabrielle shrugged and said "Well I shall just write it for a thousand to ensure it covers the cost, I suppose it's only the price of a handbag. Now, how on earth does one write a cheque?" 

Gabrielle went back to Los Angeles that week for work commitments where she dined with Alexander Wang and I went to Paris to check on progress in my apartment and to meet with friends. Whilst there I considered the possibilities with regards to an area of employment. It had to be something which was stress free and beneficial to me somehow also. I listed the possibilities: Personal shopper (couldn't cope with being polite all day long), stylist (slightly boring), conde nast (I imagine I'd have a boss - not good), work for my parents (I could go insane), work with Gabrielle, personal trainer, work within a fashion house, work in a department store... In the end I narrowed it down to Personal Trainer and working with Gabrielle in fashion pr. After asking advice from many of my peers I was told that I ought to not work with Gabrielle because: it would distract her, it is far too laissez faire thus I either wouldn't go or would cause havoc haha plus I would be required to fly between L.A and New York frequently. Therefore I was left with my choice. Personal Training... With that I phoned Jackie and asked her for the number of my mother's personal trainer, Tracy Anderson, which she forwarded. I phoned her and upon her answer I said "Good afternoon, it's Kyle McQuillan, Camilla's son. After me explaining what I was doing to her she laughed and said "Well I can forward your number onto a few agencies who are highly regarded. That way you can take what you learn and be highly employable. I do believe that they offer intensive courses nowadays so you will be able to qualify much quicker. Following that you can show me what you're capable of and I shall write you a refrence which will garuntee you a job in a highly regarded gym." I thanked her for her help and twenty minutes later I recieved a phone call from someone at a personal training company explaining some of the courses. I was told that I could take an intensive course which would take up to 8 weeks to complete and can be done in any of their worldwide locations and would provide me with a certificate in gym instruction in addition to a certificate in advanced personal training. It goes without saying that it wasn't good enough. Me being me I am completely unable to remain in the same place for 8 weeks thus I requested private tuition at a price they felt appropriate enabling me to fast track the intensive course. The lady said she would have to speak to a senior member of staff and get back to me, with that I gave her Jackie's number and told Jackie to book it and request a good looking male tutor haha. An hour or so later I recieved an email saying Congratulations Kyle, you start your course tomorrow and it should take three to five weeks depending on your commitment. I wonder how long you'll stick at it before getting round your father and getting the car regardless? I replied Thank you. Did you request someone attractive? ... It helps me maintain my concentration haha. You have an awful cheek considering you're employed by me Jackson!  she then shot back with Kyle McQuillan the day I take a job where the job description reads: discreetly have cars not under boss' ownership fixed unknown to anyone else, deliver condoms to where ever they may be, book countless jets and flights, remind of events such as birthdays for every family member and friend, take phone calls which are beyond their capability yet are accomplishable by most six year olds etc. is the day that I check myself into the priory dear. I remind you yet again child that I am employed by your parents and am burdened by your presence haha. I replied Consider yourself dismissed from your position... I didn't recieve a message back for a short while then I got an e-mail from my mother saying Kyle you are in no position to sack anyone let alone Jackie. Do not be so absurd. I don't know who put you under the illusion that you boast any authority what so ever my dear. Behave x and then shortly afterwards another from Jackie saying HA! ... Swine! 

The following day, when back in London, I went to this wretched place where my course would take place. I was greeted by a man who appeared to be a little older than myself (perhaps 25) and boasted a similar physique to mine whilst was rather good looking... Good start. He lead me to a class room thing and explained the course and then said "Normally, there would be other students joining you however you have a different course to most so it shall just be one to one. Now, I see that you obviously have plenty of experience in the gym so let me just find out what you know and then we can build upon that." He then asked me various questions, most of which I knew the answers to and others I did not. Once finished he said "Well Kyle, you have a rather large array of knowledge. Have you had a personal trainer yourself?" After four hours or so of me typing on my laptop and him chatting away about various different bones and muscles my attention began to stray. Chris obviously noticed this and said "Do we need a break? I see your not really giving me your full attention..." I replied "No this is just quite crap. I'm uncomfortable and hungry... Can we do this elsewhere. My house perhaps?" This was not an attempt of me trying to sleep with him, this was a genuine excuse. He replied "No not really, I'm required to be here, this is my place of work..." I rolled my eyes and said "I'll pay your wages if it's necessary. Who is your boss?" He told me who it was and where to find him and with that I went down a long coridoor until I found the man's room. I knocked and entered and he said "How may I help you?" I replied "Hello there, I began an intensive course this morning. My name's Kyle McQuillan-" he said "Ahh yes, the person who is fast tracking the fast track course" I continued "Yes that's me. Now seeing as I am paying a larger fee than most and presumably Chris' work schedule is most probably devoted to my tuition I personally believe it would be more beneficial for all of us involved that I am tutored at my own home at the times when Chris is required to teach me. If you could authorise that, that would be splendid!" he looked a little lost for words and then said "Well I suppose so, as long as it doesn't affect the rest of his work." I left the room and went back to where I had been previously and said "Collect together your slide show and the rest of your teaching material. We are going to my house. I can garuntee you will much prefer it..." I lead him to my car and upon seeing the Lambourghini Murcielago Versace he stopped and said "Wow! Now that is a car!" I went over and opened the door only to erupt childish excitement from Chris at the vertical doors haha. As usual, as I approached the hotel where I reside I sent a message to the Concierge informing him of my soon arrival home. Then, as usual there was someone waiting outside my house ready to park my car. We entered the house and I lead him upstairs into the drawing room and asked whether he'd like anything to eat, he said he wouldn't mind something and I gave him the room service menu whilst I went and changed. When I returned he requested his lunch and whilst I ordered it he put his slide show on the television. This was far better. I was now in the comfort of my own home with room service haha. 

When my day of tuition was over I looked over my notes and realised that for the first time in a long time I had actually learnt something beneficial! haha. I asked him whether he would like me to drive him back to the venue where we had started the day to collect his car when he said "I don't drive. Could you just tell me where the nearest tube station is." My face dropped and I said "I wouldn't know.. Let me ring the concierge." Upon his reply I said "Either Leicester Square or Piccadilly Circus. Would you like me to just take you home?" he laughed and said "Well I'm not going to turn down the chance to go in that car again.. Yes please." I replied "This time I shall treat you to something else." I had the concierge deliver my Audi R8 to the door and took Chris to his home accross London in that. Again he loved the car and explained how he had just spent over a year abroad and was now in the process of saving so that he could purchase his own automobile. I then said "Our next session is tomorrow is it not?" correct "Well in that case ring the hotel in the morning and have them come and collect you. Tell them that you're with me" I then gave him my hotel code name - a neccessity so that strangers who I sleep with cannot ring me "and they shall come and collect you." After dropping him off he thanked me and I took a detour to my parents house to tell them how my first day went. They seemed rather impressed and weren't shocked that I quickly became bored haha. 

After a week or so of lessons I explained to them how he doesn't drive and I insisted that he used the hotel's chauffeur service my mother said "Well why don't you give him use of that Jaguar you have left to decompose? I highly doubt your father will get round to selling it anytime soon so someone may as well get use out of it. The man is going out of his way to tutor you and it is unfair for him to have to take tubes accross London solely for your benefit when I imagine he is getting paid no more for doing so. Message him for his details and have Jackie sort out some insurance." I did so and the following morning I text him telling him that I would collect him from his house. Again, polite as he is he thanked me and upon my arrival he said "Another car?! This is gorgeous!" The car was after all a top of the range Jaguar XKR convertible yet in comparison to the rest of the cars in my portfolio it wasn't all that admirable for myself. I got out of the car before he got in and said "Yes another car however this one is yours." He laughed at first and then said "Pardon?" I repeated myself and he said "What? Why? No." I replied "You can accept it. Think of it as a string benefit of working for me. I informed my mother of your travel situation and she insisted you were given free reign of this. It would be unfair for me to expect you to go out of your way to tutor me when you recieve no extra credit or payment from your employer. Now please, get into the drivers seat and let's go back to my house." His face lit up and he practically ran around the car and got into the drivers seat. Upon sitting down he said "Oh my fucking god. I'm sorry for swearing.. There's touch screen sat nav and everything!" When we got to my house he took a picture of it on a dated Nokia phone and sent it to his friends - I felt sorry for him and so when we got inside I gave him a boxed Blackberry and said "I know it may seem like I'm giving you an awful lot but honestly it benefits me too. You can't carry that thing round with you when you're with me or be seen riding the tube haha." He then accepted the new phone and set it up himself - something I would have no idea how to do. During that day of tuition Kelly let herself into my house and came upstairs with a man, she shouted "Oh hello dear, I was under the illusion you were in Paris for some reason. I just came back here to sleep withhhhhh...." she looked at the man searching for a recollection of a name and said "him. Now now, who is this Kyle? Why is it that you always locate these gorgeous men with marvellous physiques?" I replied "Kelly look at him stood in the doorway" she said "Hmm I suppose.. Always want what I can't have. What is this on the television, talk about getting you in the mood..." I told her what I was doing and she said "Ohhhh.. So you're not sleeping with him? Marvellous!" she walked towards him and introduced herself and then said "I'll get Kyle to give me your number, you can come out with us all sometime." I could tell that Chris was in complete awe by Kelly's appearance and flattered by her request yet said "I'm sorry. I have respect for Kyle and wouldn't jepordise the work I'm doing with him by sleeping with one of his friends" Kelly said "Arrrr" and then I explained how I was homosexual, promiscuous and couldn't care less who Kelly slept with, she then added "So now you have Kyle's approval you ought to strongly consider that night out. Or night in if you'd rather just get straight to it. When I say feel free to sleep with any of Kyle's friends - I would strongly advise you to steer clear of his sister Gabrielle. Despite the fact that she boasts stunning looks Kyle would not hesitate to punch you in the face as he has done on countless occasions to men who have been involved with her and would most probably go to the head of your company and see to it that you're sacked. Kyle we'll go on the top floor and I shall attempt to be quiet. Do excuse me..."  

On the 2nd July I had received a vast amount of invitations to parties celebrating American Independence day. What's more I received a message from Gabrielle informing me of her invitation to The Playboy Mansion. With this in mind I sent messages to some of my asking whether they would care to join me... My current knowledge was that I was invited to two parties in The Hamptons, three in Chicago, seven or so in New York, one in Florida and four in L.A. Being back in England I then went to my house and asked for my post and was told there was a rather large pile in my Kitchen (the kitchen I never use.) I opened the entirety of it, some of which was magazines etc. and came across several invitations, the most appealing being one in Miami. I text a few of my friends asking what their plans were; Ellie wasn't going in public anymore due to fear of getting swine flu, Elliot was spending it with family in Florida, Kelly had decided she was going to The Playboy Mansion with Gabrielle, Felicity was in New York, French friends were all working and all of my American friends were inviting me to their parties. Lee's response was Oh, Miami ladies.. Ought to be good! Count me in sex god! and Kayleigh replied I have no idea, complete and utter dilemma! I have invitations flying at me from all directions plus the family are pestering me to spend it with them in Connecticut... Miami does sound rather appealing and the prospect of being with my brother is putting me off the family proposal somewhat... I replied telling her that Lee was also coming and she said Oh well I shall join you then! My parents have a hotel there so I shall ensure we have the best suites... I'll book a jet! x Seconds later I recieved another message saying Oh I forgot! Can you please be my boyfriend tonight? Family meal and my grandmother will be there... We can fly afterwards x I told her I would join her to dinner and she said Marvellous! Formal attire please darling and be at my house for six with luggage xx 

By six o'clock I was dressed in a new navy blue Prada suit whilst I piled luggage into the back of Jackie's Mercedes so that she and I could drive to Kayleigh's house in North London. Twenty or so minutes away from my home, Kayleigh lives in London's exclusive Bishops Avenue - otherwise known as Billionaire's row; a name which Kayleigh despises. Prior to leaving I said goodbye to my parents and they said "Kyle we shall be moving to New York sometime next week so would you like us to take Maddox with us? Well, I don't suppose we have any other option." I said "Pardon? You are moving to New York?" my mother replied "Yes Kyle, I have told you about this on numerous occasions, why you chose not to listen I will never know. Not indefinitely obviously, we shall still be coming to London fairly frequently however an awful lot of our business has gone over to the states thus it makes more sense. Honestly, when I speak to you is it just in one ear and out the other. We have bought a townhouse there." That I did not know and asked where "The upper east side! Oh Kyle it's utterly divine, there's seven floors connected by a central sweeping staircase throughout the building" I replied "Oh, and you need that much space why?" I don't know why I had gone in a mood but there was no denying that I had haha she replied "Oh Kyle, do lighten your mood. It is a marvellous real estate opportunity whilst the market has crashed and nevertheless is an excellent family home in a good location. Perhaps you or Gabrielle may consider raising a family there at some point" I looked at her puzzled then left.  

I drove me and Jackie to Kayleigh's house and whilst on the way I asked her what she was going to do when my parents moved to New York, she replied "Well, Mark and I will be going over for a short while I do believe and" she braced herself "were thinking of living in your condominium..." I replied "Oh.. And when was anyone planning on consulting me with regards to this?" she replied "I have no idea, I belive your father was going to ask you" I said "Well consider the question asked. You may live there for however long you please on the condition that you keep all of your belongings in the guest rooms and merely sleep in the master bedroom. What's more I would ask that you take care of Maddox whilst I'm not there." She thanked me and said "Well it's not for certain yet, your mother was talking of merely having us live in a hotel for a period of time as I believe Jake" (the chef who lives in London) "is going over with his wife and daughters for a few weeks and living in their townhouse with them now that it's the summer holidays." When we arrived at Kayleigh's I put in the code in order to open the gates to her driveway and upon pulling up outside a member of housekeeping staff came out to collect my luggage. I said goodbye to Jackie as she got into the drivers seat and said "Behave in my apartment Jackson and do not go through my belongings. What's more, if on the off chance you come across something - please don't inform my mother of your findings. Lord only knows the minute details she could disapprove of" she laughed and said "Oh Kyle please. I have no longing to find the endless list of men whom you sleep with. Do try and behave whilst your in Miami, I am busy enough as it is without having to contend with the messes you create, what's more, your Kayleigh's boyfriend this evening. Do present yourself in an admirable manner and keep tales of your promiscuity quiet dear; we all know you are unaware of how to act when it comes to being someone's partner. Have a nice time!" 

When I entered Kayleigh's home the foyer was was filled with guests drinking champagne all of whom were wearing suits and dresses whilst the majority sported upper class american accents. It was evident through looking at the group how the people knew Kayleigh's family. Those who were impeccably dressed and boasting botox were through Kayleigh's mother's position at Conde Nast, those who weren't so well dressed yet still had a look of wealth about them were through Kayleigh's father's company. As I walked through the group of people smiling at them all, fully immersing myself in the role of Kayleigh's boyfriend she approached me and kissed me on the cheek then whispered "We shall leave once dinner is over, it ought to be a foul endurance" I laughed and said "Oh I can imagine, here comes someone" I put my arm around her waist and the lady said "Oh darlings, you can drop your act for me. I'm Kayleigh's aunt dear and loathe to be here just as much as you do. The things I do for my younger sister; if only my wretched husband wasn't here with me I may possibly be able to have some fun or at least find someone who could occupy me" Kayleigh slapped her arm and I said "Oh we're going to get on splendidly well... Ensure you're seated next to me at dinner" she laughed and said "Oh, a promiscuous sinner like my niece also are you?" Kayleigh interrupted and said "Aunty Christina he makes me look like a saint and is the influence that makes me the way I am" she said "Well done Kyle. If I had of brought her up it would have happened a long time ago, let's be thankful she moved to London and met you so you could save her from living a burderened life like I" a good looking man approached and she said "There you are darling where have you been?" they had a short conversation and he walked away she then said "Oh and Kayleigh it's just Christina, auntie puts all this botox to waste and ages me an extra ten years." Christina's botox was subtly and well done, others in the room were smiling only to reveal a moving mouth and frozen face. Christina said "Now get back in role and go and impress my mother. Oh, another thing we have in common... If only she knew the true us. Where is that wretched little brother of yours dear? Oh there he is making small talk with the business executives - how I haven't missed him." Kayleigh took me over to her grandmother who was wearing a chanel suit and gleamed with diamonds, I kissed her on either cheek and she said "It's a pleasure to meet you Kyle. I've heard an awful lot about you" I replied "The pleasure's all mine" haha. After a short conversation in which I tried to impress her she turned to Kayleigh and said "Well dear I couldn't have hand picked a better person for you myself. Kyle is quite the catch and you're perfect for one another" I looked at Kayleigh and said "and I simply cherish being with her" and then kissed her on the lips as she tried to conceal a smirk. We were then graced with the presence of Kayleigh's younger brother. He stood before us and Kayleigh didn't even acknowledge his presnece whilst I greeted him. Kayleigh turned her lip up and said "What is it that you want?" he said "Oh nothing Kayleigh. I just quite admire watching you try to act innocent and sweet. Anyone who sees you for that isn't worth impressing as they are clearly quite the remedial, the rest of the guests on the other hand can most probably see you for what you truly are a-" Kayleigh bent down and grabbed his ear then said "Would you like me to pull down your pants infront of all of our family and completely humiliate you before taking you outside and beating you over the head until you too are a remedial just like the other guests?" he shook his head and Kayleigh released his ear from her nails and gave him a rather firm slap accross the head. I asked "What did you do to him yesterday?" she replied "I slapped him so he charged into my wardrobe and began throwing all of my shoes off the racks. Therefore I said to him seeing as you have taken such a liking to shoes why not use your body for worship and proceeded to walk over him in my Laboutins... Yes, I left marks. An adorable little swine isn't he?" haha.

Shortly afterwards we were seated at the extensive dining table with all of the other guests. My my it was boring. Kayleigh spent most of the time texting under the table and I excused myself to the powder room on several occasions just to help pass the time. At one point after the main course she looked at me and said "Christ this is boring... It doesn't help that I haven't had sex in a week and that seems to be one of the only things left for me to think about after this mind numbing ordeal" I leant over and whispered in her ear "Let's go upstairs once dinner's finished she said "Kyle no, friends and family are here it's too risky" I didn't reply and instead discreetly kissed her neck and tickled her leg with my fingertips then returned upright in my seat, she then excused herself and left the room fanning herself. Kayleigh's aunt leant over and said "Are you two trying to kill me? I'll hit my menopause before that morbid husband of mine knows how to show me a good time. Kyle I tell you! It is truly abysmal. There is no throw down, more like I'm getting a rub down from my grandmother and then when it commences, Christ. Let me just tell you, the last two times I have thought about what I could eat for a snack, the time before that I thought about a workout routine and a few times I have fallen to sleep. Excellent hey?" I replied "Oh you poor lady. I honestly do feel for you; that could possibly be my idea of torture. Nevertheless if it were me, I would not remain faithful" she laughed and said "Oh darling, don't be so foolish me neither! And thank the lord for battery operated devices!" I hugged her and said "Where the devil have you been all my life Aunty Christina!" 

Once dinner was finished everyone was invited to the drawing room for drinks and whilst everyone left the dining room Kayleigh said "You take the lift and I shall go up the stairs..." I removed my suit carefully prior to intercourse in order to prevent creases thus minimising our chances of getting caught. Once we had finished I freshened up a little and put my suit back on before going back downstairs. As soon as I stepped out of the lift Kayleigh's mother approached wearing a grey Chanel dress with some Givenchy platforms "Oh hello dear. My mother has been talking about you all night - you've gone down a treat darling. It's quite an achievement you know, portraying Kayleigh in a good light. How's your mother, I haven't had chance to speak to her this week" I told her that she was fine and she said "Oh excellent. I'm back in New York on Sunday I do believe so your mother and I are going to do afternoon tea sometime. I cannot wait to see the townhouse, it's a mere stones throw away from our penthouse!" I told her how Jackie was contemplating moving into my apartment in the plaza and she said "Oh darling we can't have that... Consider the matter dealt with, I shall have her a long term suite in one of the hotels in New York, it may just happen to be The Plaza anyway however shan't be your pied-a-terre!" Kayleigh appeared behind me and said "Mother we're going to have to leave, we're due at the airport soon" she replied "Very well dear, I do believe there is a driver already waiting on the drive way - feel free to take that car." 

When we arrived at the airport  we wheeled our luggage (I had six pieces + hand luggage, Kayleigh had eight + a handbag) through the terminal to our check in desk. Through sheer determination I had managed to encourage Lee and Kayleigh to fly commercially as opposed to privately. As usual people stared at us as we stuggled to manoeuvre the luggage trollies through the terminal without running over any small children or risk one of the Louis Vuitton trunks falling and crushing someone haha. When we arrived at our desk we went straight to the queue to find a woman who looked at us blankly when we handed over our tickets, she said "You're over an hour late. The plane will be leaving soon... If you're quick you may just catch it" Kayleigh who now had her phone to her ear said "Oh no that's far too much hassle... Hello, I need a jet, yes it's Kayeligh Barrack... Immediately. Well certainly within the hour. Heathrow. Thank you. I will receive an e-mail within the next five minutes." The lady looked at us and said "Well that was easy enough, I'll see what I can do about refunding these tickets for you..." Kayleigh received an e-mail telling her her jet would be ready within half an hour and soon someone from the airport staff approached us and said "Miss Barrack, may we escort you through security?" the man and his colleagues took our luggage and we walked with them to the security gate. Lee phoned me as we were walking and shouted "What time is this flight Kyle? I'm only just arriving at the airport; I got a little caught up with Catherine I think her name was..." I told him of our change of plans and he said "Oh marvellous - I'll see you on the other side shortly. I'm not far behind you." I spent the half an hour waiting for the jet going back and forth to the toilet through nerves whilst Kayleigh went to Prada and the other various shops passing the time. I was rather uncomfortable in my suit by this point and Kayleigh looked a little over dressed in her Jil Sander dress and jewel embellished Laboutins, when Lee joined us he said "Oh, well don't I look like the peasant of the trio" wearing a pair of Prps jeans and a tight fitting prada crew neck jumper he actually did haha. 

When we finally arrived in Miami we were collected by two SUV's and driven to the Fairmont Resort. Upon entrance the manager came over and outstretched his hand to Kayleigh and said "Miss Barrack, how lovely to see you here again. If there's anything -" she shot back "I've just stepped off a nine hour flight from London so if you could just put an end to this meaningless conversation and give us our room keys that would be marvellous." He then immediately took three keys out of his pockets and Kayleigh turned to us and said "I'm in the Grand Presidential, you two may fight over who's in which of those. I on the other hand am going for a short nap and I may see you by the pool in while." I took the keys and said "Well.. If we're fighting over them then it's basically my choice isn't it..." I chose the presidential suite and left Lee with the tower suite. 

After a shower and a change of clothes I was by the pool texting friends about plans for the evening. One of whom, a model, replied Unfortunately I cannot wait until tonight.. It's inevitable that you're going to pick me to sleep with so do you want to just come over now? It's been a while since I've had someone of your expertise! I replied Someone of my expertise? Please, do be serious, you make it sound as though there are others with my talent haha. I shall grant you the privilege my friend however I shall not be coming to you, I simply cannot be bothered. Come here, I'm at the Fairmont - merely say may name when you ring the hotel and they ought to send a car. You can pretty much guess how the rest of my afternoon went haha. That evening I went for dinner with Kayleigh before meeting with another male who spent the night in my suite....

On July 4th I woke to find a champagne breakfast in my room at the foot of my bed. I received a number of messages from American friends, some from males whom I'm acquainted with through sexual relations - these were often sent along with a rather satisfying image of themselves. I must say, it was a rather marvellous way to wake up haha. Kayleigh then entered my room with her own key and said "What are you still doing in bed?" The toilet then flushed and she said "Who is that?" I had forgotten I'd slept with someone and said "I am rather unsure..." she looked petrified and when he opened the door naked her horrified face changed to a smile and I said "Oh yes - I slept with him last night. Sorry, I had forgotten... You may leave now, perhaps I'll see you later." The man changed and then left haha. Kayleigh was wearing a four hundred pound Diane Von Furtsenberg white maxi dress which she had left in a pile on the floor whilst she showed me her swimsuit from Tooshie which cost £300 along with a pair of Giuseppe Zanotti platforms which cost £800... An expensive outfit for a pool party I'm sure you'd agree. Following showering I put on a pair of tailored shorts from Gucci and a polo shirt from Ralph Lauren and some Gucci sandals. I put on a rolex and got a pair of Dita sunglasses and Kayleigh and I went to get Lee. Once at his door Kayleigh got a key out of her bag and opened the door at will. When she turned the corner into his bedroom she said "Oh for crying out loud!" Lee sat up in bed in the middle of two sleeping girls and said "What? What time is it? What are you doing in here?" she said "You imbecile, we are supposed to be at Joe's party ten minutes ago. We are running late as the two of you being males think with your penis' rather than your heads and stay up until goodness knows what time having sex. Kyle and I shall go and sit at the poolside. Get ready and see us down there..." Just as she turned to walk out she noticed something and said "Oh my god! Charlotte!" One of the girls lying half asleep next to Lee screamed and jumped up with the bed linen to hug her, Lee meanwhile admired his view from behind and winked at me haha. 

Joe I'm sure a lot of you have heard of, his surname is Francis and he is the founder of Mantra films who produce Girls and Guys gone wild. Once we had arrived at his Miami mansion all of the guest were, to say the least, gorgeous. As soon as we entered the three of us were split up due to our names being called and people throwing themselves at us. I was approached by Joe who said "Kyle! Glad you could come. Still not willing to take up that offer of starring in a dvd for me?" I replied "For the umpteenth time Joe I shan't take up any role in pornographic material" he replied "Do it for a friend Kyle! My sales would go through the roof with a shit hot british boy like you" I stood my ground and still declined and he said "Well I would throw you out but seeing as I love listening to your voice so much you may stay. Where's the rest of the British brat pack?" The rest of the afternoon was spent socialising with a number of friends and celebrities whilst getting intoxicated in the heat. I could not tell you (both due to lack of memory and losing count) how many people I kissed haha. I had six packs and pectoral muscles approaching me from all angles.. How was I to say no?!

We were there until the early hours of the morning when we finally phoned chauffeurs to come and collect us. Each of us having just faced a huge dilemma as to who to sleep with, we all left with one person each. I couldn't see when we got into the taxi and had no control over my head, Kayleigh had lost her dress and was travelling home in nothing but a swimsuit and heels whilst Lee may have just had sex right before our eyes in the taxi haha. Once we arrived at the hotel I (apparently) walked into a glass door and then received several questioning looks from other guests... Mostly at Kayleigh who was walking through the hotel in a swimsuit haha. Once in the lift she said "You would not believe the pain these shoes are causing me" and removed them, in turn reducing her height by 5 inches or so haha.  

The following morning I woke feeling exceptionally sick and as soon as I opened my eyes my head began to thud haha. I had a shower and ordered room service then went and sat by the pool where I caught up on more sleep. Lee and Kayleigh later joined me outside (also feeling my pain) and the three of us discussed the previous night - filling in the blanks for one another. At around midday I saw a good looking man enter the poolside area and as he walked removed his top to reveal a divine physique. I kept my eyes fixated on him as he strolled around the perimeter and then approached us. I noticed Kayleigh fix her pose and add a little volume to her hair whilst I had no hope - I imagine I looked pretty darn foul haha. Nevertheless he came over and said "Feeling rough this morning my British friends?" we all replied "Yes, quite" he agreed and said "I look and feel like shit. Are you ready Kyle?" I looked at Kayleigh then back to him and said "Pardon? Do excuse me, but do I know you?" he laughed and said "Ah, that bad hey. Last night you apologised several times for not being able to sleep with me and that I would be your second choice had your chosen one not been so good looking" the toes began to curl as I cringed, he continued "so you advised that I came by the Fairmont pool at around 1 o'clock so that you could have the best of both worlds and then refused to give me your number soo.... here I am" I was rather mortified however praised the fact that my alcohol consumption hadn't hindered my good taste haha. I replied "Well I shall by all means oblige however would you be so kind as to joining my friends and I for a short respite whilst I muster up the energy" he laughed and said "Well, when you ask so nicely.." Gabrielle sent me an e-mail with an attached picture of her and two of the well known playmates from the playboy mansion, all in bikini's.. I replied Oh I see you fit right in then with your silicone breasts xx haha. 

I flew to Los Angeles a couple of days later to meet up with Gabrielle and Kelly and received a text message from Chris asking when our next session was going to be. My initial thoughts were hopefully never however the image of the new Aston Martin appeared in my mind and so I replied L.A? he messaged me back saying I can't really afford it at the moment. Let me know when you're back in London... By the way, I have a lot more friends and a lot more interest from girls at the moment. I thank the car! With that I messaged Jackie and had her book tickets to Los Angeles and when she e-mailed me a confirmation I text Chris saying Your flight leaves this evening. Pack your bags. 

When Chris arrived we spent a great deal of time by the pool in the Beverly Hills home where my tuition took place whilst we also went to Gabrielle's newly renovated Malibu beach house for a while. On one particular day we arranged a night out with some of my friends from Los Angeles and I asked Chris if he would like to go shopping in search of an outfit for myself. We arrived on Rodeo Drive in Gabrielle's Lambourghini and browsed the shops for something I could wear. When in Prada whilst I looked at shoes Chris picked up a pair, admired them, then saw the price and said "Jeeez. Nine hundred..." I meanwhile had requested three pairs and asked "Do you want them?" he said "I'd love them but.." I said "Very well then, those too" Chris moaned and said "Kyle you're going to have to stop doing this" I said "Oh be quiet. My parents won't even notice it's gone... We live off our interest my friend and then some. It honestly does not matter. What were you planning on wearing tonight?" What ever it was he said it was a high street brand thus I said "It is most probably best we make you the subject of this shopping trip also. Or you could always have something of mine." At the end of the rather successful shopping trip I had spent over two thousand dollars on Chris, much to his dislike haha. 

The following week Chris and I went to New York and resided in my apartment where my tuition continued. Chris also spent sometime with my father training him and Gabrielle flew to New York for her job however also took the time to dance with a few friends. I paid a visit to my mother in her real-estate heaven town house on one day in New York and she said "Oh Kyle! I received an answer phone message on the telephone from Chris' mother. She said how grateful she was for the oppourtunities we've given to Chris and providing him with these holidays free of charge. She was a sweet lady so I had Jackie find out their address and I've sent them on a holiday to the house in Barbados. They ought to be receiving their tickets today." I replied "Oh... But mother you don't even know these people" she said "Kyle I know, but she was kind and polite so I thought I would do likewise, only in a more flamboyant way... Gabrielle has done likewise this week. When she returned to London she was talking to a man in the airport from Liverpool and he told her of a boy who was from his home town and attended a vocational school for dance and had been accepted at the Bolshoi ballet and was in the media seeking a sponsorship of £15,000 otherwise he would be unable to attend. Gabrielle immediately picked up the phone (without asking your father and I) and anonymously donated the money, giving the boy the chance to fulfill a dream and have an excellent future." 

This week we all returned to London for Gabrielle's university graduation. For the average student it would take no more than preparation on the day, however, as we are all aware - Gabrielle is far from average. Three days or so prior to her graduation Gabrielle, myself and Oscar were sat in my house when Gabrielle suddenly said "... I want a day out" Oscar replied "Where to darling? The zoo or something?" she laughed and said "No you imbecile! Harrods or Westfield or somewhere... I need to purchase something to wear for my graduation. Some of these people I shan't see again thus I need to leave them with a good memory of myself. Are you going to join me?" Oscar told her he would have to go and do some work whilst I agreed to doing so. 

After a very successful day we returned to my parent's house where Gabrielle emptied the contents of her 15 or so shopping bags onto the dining table to display them to my mother. There was an Alexander Wang skirt, a quilted leather preen high waisted skirt, two skirts by Vivienne Westwood, one by Marc Jacobs, one by Chloe and two from Alexander McQueen. Following this she had purchased a blouse from Balmain with shoulder pads and swarovski crystals which cost over two thousand pounds (and it was only a potential top) in addition to blouses from Emanuel Ungaro, Fendi, Roksanda Ilincic, Zac Posen, Cavalli, McQueen... Furthermore she had purchased four dresses from Victoria Beckham's new collection along with Celine, Bamford and Burberry. My mother said "Oh... A rather sucessful day then I see, however Gabrielle.. You can only wear one outfit my love. Nevertheless, some of this I will certainly be wearing for work... Especially this, it is divine!" she picked up the shoulder padded Balmain blouse and admired it when Gabrielle said "That is the garment which I am most inclined to wear. There was an absolutely gorgeous leather Balmain skirt which I saw in Vogue a couple of weeks ago however it was four thousand pounds and I already had several thousand pounds worth of garments over my arm thus I resisted.. Much to my dismay." My mother whispered "... I've got it" Gabrielle's face lit up and my mother said "DON'T tell your Dad! And you Kyle!" I replied "Why? I'm sure he won't mind. He spends far more than that on suits" my mother said "Yes, but, let's be honest now dear. I'm only going to wear it once aren't I and he starts saying we may as well burn the money... Kayleigh's mother said that the people at Vogue are in love with it and encouraged me to purchase it. It didn't take much encouraging - I too fell in love with it immediately and didn't even look at the price." Gabrielle quite literally begged for her permission to wear the skirt and eventually my mother gave in. 

When the day of Gabrielle's graduation arrived I was woke at 8 o'clock by Gabrielle practically bellowing at someone in conversation. I text her saying Without sounding rude dear, could you please be quiet! Seconds later she replied with a simple No. You ought to be up anyway, we have to be there at half past nine. I replied ugh and then she came charging into my bedroom shouting "It's graduation day Kyle! Aren't you proud of your sweet sweet sister?" Then, just to be annoying, she sat on my chest and squoze my face - just what one longs for after having been woke up. My mother came in and said "Kyle it's time for you to get up - Gabrielle what are you doing? Leave your brother alone and go and get ready. Jake has breakfast prepared downstairs if you would like some dear. We're leaving in an hour." 

Once I had showered and changed into my Dolce & Gabanna suit I went into Gabrielle's room to see her. She was stood in the bathroom wearing her dressing gown with a man doing her makeup whilst two women tended to her hair. I waited downstairs with my father and my mother came down and joined us wearing a Herve Leger skirt with a fitted jacket over the top and a broad patent leather waist belt from Burberry and a pair of thigh high Gucci boots and a Hermes birkin handbag. My father said "New boots my love?" she replied "Yes darling do you like them? I purchased them in Gucci when we were in New York" he replied "Yes, very sexy. Do come here" I turned my attention to my phone to prevent myself from vomiting. Thankfully Gabrielle came downstairs a short while into my father's caressing session wearing her Balmain shoulder padded blouse (two thousand pounds) my mother's Balmain skirt (four thousand seven hundred pounds) a pair of black laboutin ankle boots (priced at approximately seven hundred pounds) and her Himalayan Birkin with diamond hardware, purchased for her by me as a twenty-first birthday present at a cost of over sixty thousand pounds. Yes. Gabrielle is single handily bringing us out of a global economy with a shopping spree for her graduation. My mother said "Oh very on trend dear" Gabrielle said "Well, it is one of the most prestigious fashion universities in the world thus I feel it is necessary. Dad, you need to pay the hair and makeup people" he jokingly glared at her and walked into the hallway, when he returned he said "Well I now have no money in my wallet.. Kyle pass me yours." I said no and he said "Kyle, it is all my money in there anyway. I only need a hundred pounds or so. Prior to our departure Gabrielle put on her Harry Winston ring just to add a little more glamour to her outfit, the price of which I do not know. I can tell you that it is one diamond which is significantly larger than the part of her finger from knuckle to joint and is set in a platinum setting and what's more for Christmas I received a Lambourghini Murcielago Versace whilst her main present was that... A mere fortune.

When Gabrielle's graduation was taking place I was bored beyond belief. It seemed I was the only one. My father, Oscar and my mother all seemed to be engrossed in the mind numbing event. There were over a hundred people on Gabrielle's course and each had something said about them prior to collecting their scroll thing. I spent the entire time gazing around the room. At one point I glanced at a man and then shot my head back when I recalled sleeping with him haha. I smiled and he did likewise... I was in need of intercourse. When it finally came to Gabrielle the man said "Next, Gabrielle McQuillan. A girl whom the senior members of the faculty were reluctant to accept on the course with her exceptionally low grades in traditional subjects." Gabrielle still stood smiling as though he was singing her praises " However her excellence in creative subjects such as dance, art and drama along with her love for fashion compelled us to accept her. Granted, there were times when we thought we had made the wrong decision such as when she would roll up hours late for a lecture in her Ferrari after having sipped too much Cristal the previous night in a members only night club." Everyone laughed, my mother did not. "Although we always knew she had a huge potential. This became apparent when she was given the task of a photo shoot in which she had to adhere to the theme "Filthy rich." As opposed to using students as models and having them wear high street clothes for their own individual themes, Gabrielle cast supermodels who had been witnessed on the catwalks of Gucci, Prada and Victoria Secret and gave them use of her own props; a Rolls Royce, Laboutin shoes, Harry Winston jewels... Soon it was Gabrielle who became the talk of her year group, some were envious, others in admiration. Not only would she return to one of London's exclusive address' after a day's lecture but she would fly across the globe attending fashion weeks and always being on top of trends. However it was this year, when Gabrielle, like the rest of the students on her course, began an internship for a PR company that Gabrielle excelled our expectations and somewhat outshone others. Gabrielle opted for People's revolution in New York, and again unlike the other's did not live in bog-standard accommodation - she was, again, living in an exclusive address. The Plaza. However this didn't last as long as it should have. Gabrielle's work ethic from London had gone with her overseas and her laissez faire nature didn't go down all that well with the well known Kelly Kutrone - a woman who has told employees that working for her is "like making a deal with the devil." Gabrielle on the other hand gave this woman an ultimatum, she would either go to Los Angeles and continue working for the company or offer her skills to a rival firm. Gabrielle was fired and the university received an e-mail from Kelly herself informing us of this. Nevertheless, Gabrielle promised us she would sort it and she did. A week or so later we received an e-mail from another prestigious fashion PR firm based in Los Angeles saying that Gabrielle had offered them her skills for free and had enquired about the job whilst in the company of Paris Hilton's younger brother. They obviously accepted and this was where Gabrielle remained (employer wise.) Throughout the remainder of the course Gabrielle dined with Zac Posen and Marc Jacobs who set her up on a night out with Manhattan socialite Genevieve Jones - a girl whom fashion PR companies are frequently sending garments to free of charge. The company which she worked for wrote us a very complimentary letter stating that Gabrielle's networking skills were highly beneficial to their company and her attendance to fashion week and socialising during after show parties helped the company on a number of different levels. What's more she has secured more clients in the short amount of time she worked there than other employees have over a matter of years. When asked last week what she would like to do in the future Gabrielle told us that she longs to go back to her roots and continue with her dancing whilst incorporating her degree into a job within PR at the same time, perhaps working one day a week. She added 'Without sounding egotistical, they would be stupid not to accept me, regardless of how often I plan on offering my skills, what's more Marc himself has offered me a job within his empire thus I am more or less guaranteed a job somewhere.' With that ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Gabrielle McQuillan." By that point some of the other girls were rolling their eyes and I was becoming bored yet again. I then had to sit through several more lengthy speeches before they were finished. At the end the person who had been speaking said another rather boring speech and then added. "This is an invitation to all of the students here and selected members of staff who shall be notified. The parents of Gabrielle McQuillan along with the help of the PR firm she worked for have arranged a graduation party for you all this evening at London's Bungalow 8. However do be warned, there is a guest list in place and all guests are required to be on it. In order to be on that list e-mail... The guest list will be checked by Gabrielle herself thus you needn't worry about random folk crashing." There was a cheer and all of the graduates threw their hats in the air. My mother said "Oh, well I didn't know it was going to be announced like that. We're going to get bombarded with thanks now. You know, I'm not entirely sure all of that speech was entirely complimentary to Gabrielle" I replied "What does it matter, she isn't quite intelligent enough to catch on." My mother said "Kyle!" Whilst my father wrapped his arm around my neck and said "Don't talk about your sister like that" I said "You're all in denial. How can you possibly say that she's not" My father tightened his arm and began to tickle me then my mother assertively said "Harold behave! We're in public! That wretched spokesman couldn't have made it anymore blatantly obvious that we're affluent. I'm not all that pleased if I'm honest." My father looked at her and said "Camilla darling.. I think the students may already be aware of that and may have told their parents anyway. Look at what the girl's wearing for crying out loud, the cost of that ring equates to the debt of a third world country. 

I was required to have pictures taken with Gabrielle and then Oscar took one of the four of us. Highly embarrassing I must say. We looked like tourists! I saw the man again in the corner of my eye talking with his sister and family and waited for him to look at me. When I caught his eye I winked and began to walk away. Once in my Porsche I waited for a moment and then he got in looking quite divine and I drove us both to my house... I find there's something about a muscled man in a suit! 

Speak soon,