30 October 2008

My last few weeks in Paris.. 29th October

Last Saturday (the 11th) I was awoke by thumping on my door. I climbed out of bed, making no effort to be quiet so I didn't wake the man who I had slept with the previous night and whilst thoughts of being greeted by men whom I had slept with and not phoned as promised went through my mind, I opened the door and Kelly came charging in, dropped her bags and went running towards the bedroom, whilst doing so she was shouting "Jesus Kyle, have I just woke you from a coma?! I am bursting for the toilet and have been banging on your door for the past 5 minutes-" I began closing the door and it was pushed back towards me whilst a familiar voice said "Excuse me, who do you think you're closing the door on Mr. McQuillan?" It was Ellie. I bent down and kissed her on either cheek and she said "Marvellous to see you dear, now where do you intend on taking me to this evening. I simply must have an amazing night seeing as I am only here for the one." I was shocked by this, both due to the fact there was three luggage trollies outside my door and also that she loves Paris, she said "I know dear, a complete inconvenience however it's my little sister's thirteenth birthday tomorrow and my parents have taken her out of boarding school to take her to Dubai for presents. I simply must go with them to nurture her and also ensure she is just as much of a brat as I. I haven't seen her since the summer, no great loss.. She's a swine at times... Nevertheless, Kayleigh will be joining me on Tuesday, the approximate time of suicide, to save me so it shall be less of an endurance." She went and ordered some room service and I heard the toilet flush followed by the powder room door opening. I heard her say "Oh good morning, nice to meet you, I'm Kyle's friend Kelly." He replied in French and she said "Oh bloody hell, I knew that was going to happen." She came out of the bedroom and said "Kyle, why is it that you always pick the ones who speak foreign? If him being gay was not enough, I can no longer seduce him with words.." I didn't reply to this and merely asked how she was. She told me she was fine and how she had no longing to return to London as it was boring her, therefore she was staying until further notice. 

The room was chaotic, Ellie was on the phone to her mother, room service had arrived and the bell boy had began taking cases off the trolley and leaving them in my room. Kelly noticed this and said "Excuse me, I am not staying in this room, this luggage needs to be elsewhere." He asked which room was hers and she said "I have no idea, please bore somebody else with your questions and inform me when you have found your answers. Thank you." She handed him €10 and closed the door. Just as the three of us sat down to eat breakfast somebody knocked at the door again. I got up and flung it open saying "Yes?" My mother walked in and said "Kyle that is no way to greet someone, I have brought you up better than that." I was rather shocked to see her and tied my gown so that my underwear and half naked body was no longer visible. She walked into the lounge and said "Oh good morning girls! When did you arrive?" They had a little conversation and then she said "I'm not staying Kyle, I have a meeting in a little while. I fly home again this evening. You must come back to London soon, your father and I want to show you the house we're contemplating making an offer on in Knightsbridge." My parents are selling their current home in London and hoping to move to somewhere bigger, why? I have no idea. I no longer live there, Gabrielle is moving to New York mid November yet they wish to purchase an 8 bedroomed home (that said, 3 are for staff.) Just to my luck, in the middle of our conversation, the man whom I had slept with the night before walked out of the bedroom. He walked out wearing his pants from the previous night whilst still buttoning up his shirt. My mother stopped talking and looked at him with disgust. My eyes widened and I looked at Kelly in horror whilst biting my bottom lip. He smiled at my mother and said "Good morning" in English, she said "Hmm, it was until thoughts of my son's sexual addiction were verified." She turned and looked at me and the man said "Au Revoir" and left. 

It was awkward for about 5 minutes and then my mother stood up and went to the bathroom. I looked at Kelly and Ellie who were laughing and said "She will have me in rehab before long, she always manages to catch me out." Then I realised something and said "Just to add to her theory, there is 3 box's of 18 condoms on the side in the bathroom." Kelly said "Oh I know, I took some. I had none left in my purse." My mother returned, her outfit, which consisted of a grey Karl Largerfeld dress, grey tights, burgundy Rupert Sanderson shoes and an Alexander McQueen bag, made her seem in more of a mood than she actually was; she said "It was nice seeing you girls, good bye Kyle, I shall speak to you in the week." She kissed me on the cheek, Kelly and Ellie said "Good day Camilla" simultaneously in an attempt to lighten the mood (failed) and she left. Upon her departure I said "Well that went well.." Kelly laughed and said "Kyle do not worry about it. My parents are under the illusion that I am a prostitute. For some inexplicable reason my mother decided to read her credit card bill for the first time in goodness knows how long and saw the amount of hotels which I have been paying for. She knew it was for sexual reasons and so didn't question that however she was a little worried about the frequency and asked whether I was doing it for fun or a career. Well I was so appalled that she had the nerve to say such a thing that I went in a mood and she took me shopping to make up for it, she hasn't mentioned it since. That said, this week I have been staying at your house so there will be no hotels." She smiled. I asked where she had got my keys from and she said "Oh Gabrielle gave them to me, I have my own set too but they're in my room somewhere and I cannot be bothered looking. I have returned them to Gabrielle now though, I think she may be staying there a little, I am unsure." I was completely unaware that she had a set of keys for my house or that she had been staying there whilst I had been away. I asked how many people she'd taken back there and she looked at me as though I was stupid. I was in a way, that was such a ridiculous question to ask "You expect me to have kept count dear? All I can tell you is that one of them is a receptionist in your hotel oh and that man from Ralph Lauren, you know that girl who I went to school with well she's checked into The Priory now because..." I let her talk to me about that girl for a few minutes and I mumbled at the right time so she thought I was listening - I wasn't. 

Once we'd finished breakfast Kelly stood and told us that she was going out for a while when I asked where she said "Kyle darling, I am in Paris I have people to catch up with" Ellie then said "Will it be females or males?" She smirked and said "Well Ellie dear, that depends on whether the male in question is worth it and whether or not the female is good looking" I'm sure this wasn't where Ellie was heading with the conversation. I complained about Kelly's departure and said "Oh Kelly, I hoped me and you could spend the rest of the morning in the bedroom..." She said "Oh well I am sorry dear, I expect I shall be here for a while so there's plenty of time, Ellie's here all afternoon.. Sleep with her." I looked at Ellie and smiled, she put down her croissant and said "No.. I have a boyfriend now." Me and Kelly looked at one another, looked back at Ellie and simultaneously said "So..." She sounded like my mother and said "Kyle no, I cannot do that" Kelly picked up her bag and said "Ellie dear, don't be ridiculous, what he doesn't know will not hurt him and besides, I have seen the man and I find it highly unlikely that the sex is as good as what you will experience with Kyle... I shall see you in a few hours." As soon as the door slam Ellie looked and me and just said "Despite the fact that she is right, the answer is no, end of discussion." I went and had a shower and then Ellie and I went to the spa. Afterwards, whilst Ellie went to get her hair done, I went to the gym and by the time I got up to my room it was almost 5. I phoned Kelly's mobile when I got up to my room and asked where she was, she told me she was back in the hotel and she'd come to my room. I watched telly whilst awaiting a knock at the door and then I heard something land on the dining room table. I jumped up and screamed (or the male equivalent) and span around and Kelly began screaming and jumping on the spot she was saying "What what?!" I stopped shouting and said "Jesus Kelly, are you trying to give me a heart attack! ...What on earth were you screaming for?" She managed to stop screaming and said "I thought you'd seen a mouse or something!" I asked her how she'd got into the room and she said "We have adjoining ones, mines through that door and down a little hall way." My tone changed from hysterical to clam as I realised, that was the room Gabrielle and I used to share when we were younger and my parents would stay in the one I was in. Gabrielle and I used to sneak down there in the middle of the night and go into my parents room and drag my father's jeans out and my mother's handbags and take money haha. 

Me and Kelly ended up having much needed intercourse and then we began getting ready. Once I had showered the hairdresser come to my room and trimmed my hair then I put on a pair of metallicy black slim fit pants from Dolce & Gabbana with a black shirt from Gucci, a beige and leopard print cardigan from Alexander McQueen - which I left unbuttoned, a black leather and gold chain Gucci belt, a gold Rolex and some black Gucci ankle boots. I grabbed my wallet, Blackberry and condoms and phoned Kelly to see if she was ready. She told me she almost was and I had to go and zip her into her dress. I walked down the hallway and opened the door; she was stood there in sky high Burberry prorsum curved heel shoes, stockings, suspenders, lace underwear and matching bra. She was on the phone when I got in there so I took the opportunity to ring Gabrielle. She answered the phone and said "I was wondering when you were finally going to ring... How are you?" we had a little catch up and in the middle of the conversation she interrupted me and said "Ugh, what has happened to the water.." I heard her open the kettle and she said "That is repulsive, I am going to vomit" I asked what and she said "I boiled some milk in the kettle earlier today and it all seems to have dried inside and the water I have just boiled has gone cloudy with floating milk bits in." I heard her pour the water away, open the bin and drop the kettle in, she then bellowed "Jack-jack!" a.k.a Jackie, my father's p.a who does everything for us "We need a new kettle" I presume my father shouted her as she said "because father the other one had dried milk inside and it made the water disgusting... How else should I boil milk?... I have no idea where pan's are kept and I don't know how to turn the stove on. Anyway Kyle.." She also attempted to boil 4 eggs at the same time in the kettle. It failed of course. Once Kelly had finished her conversation she signalled for me to do likewise. I did so and helped her into her black fitted Giambattista Valli dress, she grabbed condoms and her clutch and we went to get Ellie. She opened the door wearing a dark grey sparkly Marc Jacobs dress, a black and silver Erickson Beamon cuff and enormous Harry Winston diamond ring which she got on her 18th (it set her parents back a mere fortune) with some Giuseppe Zanotti jewel embellished heels. Finally, we were ready. 

Upon entering the club we went straight to the bar, I bought us all some drinks and then we went and got a table. After an hour or so of talking with one another and being bought drinks by random people one of the Laslau sons came over (I can't remember which one.) His father owns a number of tourist attractions including Madame Tussaurds and a number of theme parks. I think he was on drugs and came over saying "Kyle! Where have you been? Oh and you Kelly Moss.. I was wondering when I'd hear from you next." The alcohol she had been consuming had gone straight to her head so she smiled and said "Well it would have been longer had you not ran into us here tonight" he appeared to not have heard her and punched me in the arm - I had to control my drink so that it did not spill on Ellie - and said "So who's your other friend here?" Ellie looked at Kelly and mouthed "What's he like?" Kelly very audibly replied "He's ok in bed, he uses what he has - which I might add, isn't much - to it's fullest" he attempted to but in and said "Oi Kelly -" She looked at him and said "Why are you talking?" he shut up and she turned back to Ellie "but he was a penis and boasted about his wealth all the time and then offered to take me shopping and refused to buy me a £1000 dress, I handed over my card and paid and he was embarrassed. That being the reason for his attitude now.. Don't worry though, just sleep with him, don't give him your number and you will not have any of that trouble." Ellie went and me and Kelly went to the bar. People were continuously approaching her and asking to buy her drinks and she just looked at them said "No" and turned back to me, girls were staring at me from all over the room and a few approached however I merely told them to go and inform there gay friends where I was stood. 

Me and Kelly were having an amazing time. A couple of hours had passed since Ellie had left us and me and Kelly were undoubtedly drunk. I was past caring whether I went back to the hotel with anybody, although a few men had approached I was having too much fun with Kelly to leave her to risk having good sex when I knew I would certainly have good sex with her. People were still approaching her and she just told them no, the occasional one put up a fight and I recall her saying to one man "You need to spend some time in a mirror my friend, clearly what you see is distorted... People who look like me do not sleep with people who look like you." It continued like this until  about 3 when we finally decided to leave. This was when the main event of the night commenced. We walked for about a minute and then I took out my phone to ring for a car. Being drunk, I wasn't functioning properly and dropped my Blackberry, when it hit the floor and broke into pieces I accidentally kicked it and it went skidding across the floor and down a grid. I turned around and looked at Kelly who found it rather amusing and went into her bag to find her own phone. Only, she didn't find it. She retraced her steps and remembered last having it in the bathroom and must've left it on the basin whilst she washed her hands. The smile soon went from her face. I asked whether she had any change so that we could use a pay-phone, she merely replied saying "Since when have I carried change with me Kyle?" The answer was never and nor did I so we set off walking, finding the situation a little amusing. After about 5 minutes any humorous factor had been eradicated as the light drizzle began and the cold reached my bones, Kelly was complaining of the excruciating pain her shoes were causing in the arch of her foot and so she removed them and got on my back. I also had to remove my cardigan and give it to her to wear. So there we were, Kelly on my back with her shoes in hand wearing my cardigan over her dress in the drizzle, wondering the streets of Paris at half past 3. Classy! I decided to take a shortcut that I knew of through a wooded area, despite the fact Kelly begged me not to. Kelly had tightened her legs around my waist due to her being scared and at one point screamed at the top of her voice, I span on the spot to see if anything was behind us and slipped in some mud, falling side wards (with Kelly on my back) and landing on the floor. It was so painful. I had no hands to cushion the fall and on the way down Kelly repetitively screamed. My face was literally pressed against the floor and Kelly still had her legs around me in a piggy-back position. I pulled myself up off the floor as did Kelly she stood up and said "You idiot! Look at the state of me!" She had mud and leaves in her hair, mud up one side of her dress and on her knees plus a rip up her tights; I had mud right up one side of my body and on my knees and it was smeared on my cheek and in my hair. I shouted back at Kelly "Look at the state of me! This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't started screaming!" We looked ridiculous, we were arguing in the middle of some woods, she had no shoes on and was stood in the mud with leaves in her hair and ripped tights, she shouted back "Well I wouldn't have been so scared of everything had you not lead us through this mud trail! Now carry me to the road where ever that may be" I bent down and picked her up. I carried her over my shoulder right to the road and she moaned all the way. Upon reaching the footpath we spotted an open cafe, Kelly put her shoes on and went running in screaming "Help, help!" She looked as though she'd just been raped or something so I followed her in and explained the situation to the Frenchman. Kelly then gave him €25 to get us through to the Ritz and we told them we needed a car immediately. In the light Kelly looked even worse, her makeup was either not there or in places it shouldn't be and she had a cut on her leg, mud had replaced the black leather on my shoes that had never been worn before and I looked dreadful.

Due to the cold our joints had seized up and so Kelly and I waddled into the hotel. Everyone stared at us and when we passed the concierge I said "Phone (Ellie's room) and tell her we're back, also have some hot chocolate sent to my room." It took us forever to walk to my suite and when we got there Ellie was stood at the door. When she saw us she bent over in a fit of laughter. Kelly and I had our shoes in our hands and could barely walk, our faces were expressionless and I ignored Ellie and opened the door. Ellie couldn't speak for laughing and Kelly said "This is no laughing matter Ellie!" Kelly and I went straight into the bathroom and turned on the bath and shower. I looked in the mirror and I looked dreadful. I had never seen myself look so bad in years. Kelly I stood and undressed and Kelly began crying when she looked in the mirror because she looked a mess. Ellie was still laughing. I got in the shower and Kelly got in the bath. I was so cold the hot water stung. As I washed my hair bits of twig and leaves were falling out it was disgusting. After a good 10 minutes shower I got out and looked at Kelly, she said "Turn the shower back on. This is no use. Look at the water." It was dark brown and there was leaves in it haha. She stood up and walked and got into the shower. I dried myself and put on a bathrobe and Kelly did the same. We went and got a drink of hot chocolate which room service had left in the room for us. Kelly and I looked respectable again now although Ellie seemed to unable to wipe the image from her mind as she erupted into a fit of laughter each time she attempted speaking. At about 4 Kelly and I got into bed and went straight to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning and got out of bed to go to the powder room I felt the effects of the previous night. It was in no way a hangover, instead every inch of my body ached and I was walking hunched. I got back into bed and phoned the spa to book a massage when Kelly woke up and mumbled, book me one too and then groaned as she rolled over to face me. We began talking about the previous night and then Ellie knocked on the door. I went and opened it and she came running in in her pyjamas. I went back into the bedroom and joined both of them in bed. I felt like a fifteen year old again when I used to do this with Gabrielle in the very same bed, talking about who we'd kissed etc however this morning we all sat and laughed about the events a few hours prior to the conversation. It was apparent that the cause of the major catastrophe - Kelly's screaming - was due to a bird she heard in the bush and mistook for a rapist... Blonde I feel is all that is needed to be said. Ellie went and collected her many bags from her room and then came and said good bye before she departed to catch her jet to Dubai. Kelly and I spent the rest of the day in the spa and then dined in the hotel in the evening. 

Throughout the rest of the week Kelly and I shopped, met up with friends and had a considerable amount of sex, with one another and also with people from our contact lists. We both had phones sent out to us the next day to replace the ones we both managed to cause great inconvenience by losing. We didn't go out clubbing all week and found people to sleep with via other means, that was until Friday.. On Friday evening we decided we were bored of staying in and would go and have a few drinks in the bar in the hotel. I was wearing a white shirt from Gucci, a short grey fringed scarf which I had bought from Gucci that week, a black cardigan from Burberry Prorsum, some Armani Collezioni pants, a pair of Bottega Veneta shoes, a Gucci belt and my black ceramic Rado watch. Kelly was wearing a midnight blue bustier pencil skirt dress by Redux which she had tailored that afternoon with a pair of satin Bally heels and a Christian Laboutin clutch which had black and blue feathers on. Kelly and I sat at The Hemmingway Bar and ordered some drinks, I had a Martini and Kelly had a Cosmopolitan, we also ordered some caviar... The bill came to €98 which was a pleasant surprise. The barman was lovely and when I told him my room number upon which to charge the drinks he said "Ahh, VIP I see Mr. McQuillan.. In that case allow me to make you and your beautiful friend here a special drink." Apparently it was on the computer that I am a friend of Camilla's and that I checked in here with her, it proved to be quite an advantage as the cocktail which was made for us was delicious and not on the menu. We continued drinking these €28 cocktails for the majority of the night until we moved into the Bar Vendome where a man sent a bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal Brut to our table for Kelly. The gentleman who sent the champagne was a little older than us, dark haired, well dressed and sat with a group of equally good looking men. Although the champagne wasn't for me I had a glass anyway, it wouldn't have been any great loss if they got offended and decided to not send any more, but it appeared not to bother them. Once we'd finished the bottle a waitress came back over to our table and told us we'd been asked to join the men, we did so and introduced ourselves. The group were all business men (I switched off when they began telling us) and were all around 27, some from France and some from England. The man who'd sent the champagne was called Will and asked whether Kelly and I were siblings, when I told him we weren't he began apologising as he thought he had been sending my girlfriend drinks; we assured him that we weren't and that we were merely good friends to which he said "How can two such good looking people just be friends?" Kelly and I laughed and then he said "So Kelly, did you enjoy the champagne?" She said "Why yes of course, however if you were under the illusion that sending me a bottle of Louis Roederer would get you somewhere or impress me then you are mistaken" the whole table was looking at her "If you had intentions of moving forward from drinks to something perhaps a little more intimate, you have gone the wrong way about it. I am worth an awful lot more than a €270 bottle of champagne and the fact that you failed to notice that has a number of negative connotations, it is those which make me a little hesitant towards going any further with you." The man's friends were sniggering and Kelly sat staring at him awaiting a response. If he failed to deliver an adequate one she wouldn't go further with him as this meant he wasn't man enough and would probably be unsatisfactory in bed. I know this girl inside out haha. Will seemed a little stumped at first and then cleared his throat and said "Well how about I try and better my poor attempt of seduction in somewhere a little more lively. A few of our friends are in a night club and we were going to go.." Kelly smiled and said "Marvellous, this Piano playing is beginning to age me, let's go gentleman." She didn't even let them finish their drinks. 

Kelly and I took a minor detour via the concierge who would ring the club and get us on the list and then met the group of men at the front of the hotel where they were waiting for cars. The valet told them their cars would be a minute or so and then when me and Kelly walked outside the valet said "Good evening, will you require a car this evening?" I told him immediately if possible and one pulled up instantly. He said to the men "Apologies however VIP's are our priority." Kelly smiled at them and we got into the car. We instructed the driver to drive around for a while so that we didn't arrive before them. When we pulled up at the club Will and his friends were stood in line in the freezing cold. Kelly walked past them towards the front of the queue and said "You're second attempt hasn't got off to a great start I must say Will" I signalled for him to get out of line and follow us. When we got to the doorman I said "Kyle McQuillan and Kelly Moss" he checked the list for our names and lifted the rope, I then said "also, could you let these in, they're with us" the doorman looked them up and down and then, after not speaking for a few moments, nodded. Whilst making our way to the bar Will tapped me on the shoulder and said "Kelly, how did you get yourself on the list... I feel it would be good if I was able to do so in the future" I laughed and said "Will,unless you're exceptionally good in the bedroom, this is all you will get with Kelly and if you are, there is a slight chance you might get a phone call in the future. Make the most of it." Kelly then beckoned me over and Will followed. We took a seat at a table and ordered some drinks, I was having Martinis again and Kelly was having champagne cocktails. After an hour or so of sitting around Kelly and I went to the dance floor, before I left I asked Will to find out if any of his friends knew of anybody homosexual; apparently he did. When we returned, a little more drunk than when we left the table the rest of Will's friends were sat there. They too were all good looking. Everybody stared at Kelly and I as we sat down and Will introduced us to everyone, thankfully there was one gentleman in particular who stared at me and smiled and kept on doing so whilst I ordered shots for the entire table. Goodness knows why. I had drank enough, however regardless of that, as requested shots arrived for everyone. We all drank them and afterwards shudders went through more or less everybody's bodies although it didn't taste all that bad, there was no doubt about the fact that it was strong.

After an hour or so I had moved to sit next to the person whom I correctly presumed was gay and Kelly was awfully loud and hyperactive due her consumption of alcohol, because of this almost all eyes around the table were on her. At one point she went to the toilet and left me talking to the gay bore... I spent the entire conversation looking over his shoulder pretending to listen when I was in fact people watching, it was a lot more exciting than this dull conversation. My Blackberry began ringing for the hundredth time of the evening, usually I just ignore it as it's usually people saying "Kyle will you be coming out in London tonight or Hey Kyle, I'm bored would you like to come round..." Invites for good sex were torture at this moment in time however it was Kelly who was ringing. I answered and she said "This gorgeous man just pulled me onto the dance floor and said something to me but I don't know what... Translate if you'd be so kind" she placed the phone to his ear and he repeated what he had just told Kelly, I laughed and she said "What did he say?" I was grinning at this point and I told Kelly "he said: I have drawn the conclusion that your friend over there is gay.. Would you care to introduce us? He then asked whether I was the person in question." I was waiting for a moan seeing as this person was for me and not her however she said "Excellent! Make sure he doesn't leave in the morning then I can sleep with him too. I'm a little bit jealous Kyle, he seems more fun than all Will's group of friends put together... Would you like me to bring him over?" I told her I would meet her at the bar. When I got to the bar Kelly was sat on a stool next to a muscular tanned man whilst speaking to the barman who translated it into French and told the man; hen I arrived at the bar and stood next to Kelly the barman was currently asking the man if he would sleep with Kelly in the morning, he laughed and said "Well I'm gay however in certain cases, when the female is exceptionally good looking, I can make an exception." I told Kelly what he had just said and her face lit up, she turned around and hugged the man then said "Let me buy you a drink.. Kyle translate." I did so and he asked for a beer she tutted and muttered something along the lines of I'm not buying that and instead ordered 2 martinis and a cosmopolitan. He was pleased and grateful for Kelly's more sophisticated drink choice and asked me to thank her.. I felt like an interpreter. Kelly thankfully answered her phone and began slurring something down it whilst I introduced myself. The man was called Jean and was a personal trainer in Paris, he had brown hair, bright green eyes and was wearing a white v neck t-shirt (hairless and muscular - my preference) with a scarf and jeans, he was here with a few of his clients and people from work and asked if I wished to join them, I said I would. Whilst I was walking off Kelly grabbed my arm, I turned and she groaned "Kyle! You cannot possibly leave me to go back to that boredom on my own whilst you go and share laughs with Jean and his table.. Look at how fun he is.." I turned around and Jean was stood with a crowd of girls dancing with his Martini glass in his hand he saw me and winked and then signalled for me to follow him to his table. Kelly said "Ask him if any of his friends are straight and single" I did so and he told me that more or less all of them were, she smiled and said "Looks like I shall be joining you Kyle... Let's go!" She groped Jean's bum and then danced her way across the dance floor to his table. It was completely different to the table we had just come from, all the men were muscly well dressed and groomed and were all, if not already, well on their way to becoming drunk; suddenly Kelly and myself didn't look so bad. Kelly immediately took a liking to a blonde man who was wearing an open shirt with a vest and rosary beads, he had the physique of a swimmer which simply made him even more appealing. Kelly and myself were introduced to everyone and then Kelly said "Sit next to me dear, I will be requiring your assistance" she walked over and sat down next to the blonde man and said "Bonnnjouurrr" he laughed and said "Babe, there's no need, apart from you two I'm the only English person sat at this table. I'm Liam" she replied "I'm Kelly, this is Kyle. So Liam, do you have a girlfriend?" he told her he didn't and she said "Oh you just get better and better don't you. I can't wait until later. So what brings you to Paris?" I was currently listening to their conversation and he told her that his parents are divorced, his father lives in Perpignon whilst his mother lives in Cheshire; he attended school in England and then went to London school of economics studying law and is in his final year of his course working at his father's firm in Paris. I overheard her give her very short description of herself whilst I did likewise. Jean worked in a gym called Usine 3 days a week and the rest of the time did private work for certain individuals, such as Liam. 

We didn't talk for much longer before spending the rest of the night on the dance floor. Kelly was dancing with her cocktail in hand all night and spilt it all over everyone who was near her and carried on drinking it although it was empty, she didn't seem that drunk at the time. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur however I do recall going home. We phoned for a car and then went outside when it arrived. Liam got in first then Kelly crawled across the seat with her bum in the air and sat on top of Liam and resumed kissing him, then Jean got in and because I had no longing to sit in the front of the car listening to Kelly and Liam kiss whilst Jean was out of reach, I got in too. I found out in the morning that I paid the driver €20 to not complain about there being 4 people in the back and to just drive haha. Upon arriving at the hotel we all stumbled out of the car when we arrived back at the hotel and Kelly whispered at the top of her voice "Gentleman, let's try and look a little composed - this is the Ritz" despite the fact she was the most drunk, she then turned around and stumbled up the step. When we got to our rooms Kelly said "Kyle, do you have my key?" I told her I didn't and she sat on the floor outside my room and emptied her bag. Around 20 condoms came out along with makeup, her Blackberry, perfume, sunglasses, credit cards and screwed up money. She scrambled amongst the pile and then said "It appears to have been misplaced" a couple of about 30 years old then came down the corridor I instructed Kelly to get up and she merely put her sunglasses on and began putting her things back into her bag I asked "Why have you just put those on now?" and she replied "I imagine I look like a complete imbecile and I don't wish for this couple to remember me." I think the couple were also drunk (it's a bit of a haze) and as they passed Kelly she said "Good Evening" the man stopped and said "May we borrow a couple of those?" Kelly didn't acknowledge them until I said her name and she said "Oh I apologise, were you talking to me. You may take some, not borrow. I have no desire to have a used condom returned to me. Have a good evening on me" she handed the man some condoms and then we went inside. I imagine that isn't a conversation which happens on a regular basis within the Ritz, it is most probably unheard of. Once inside Kelly went running to the door which linked my room to hers, it was locked, she just turned around and said "Kyle, we're having the other bedroom dear. Goodnight." 

At about 6 o'clock, when I was asleep, the bedroom door came flying open, I shot up in bed and saw Kelly pulling herself up off the floor laughing. Once she'd managed to calm herself she said "My turn with Jean now" I still felt drunk and said "Kelly we finished about 15 minutes ago dear... Leave it a while" she said "I've not been to sleep at all yet dear.. What's he like?" I told her he was amazing and pulled back the covers to show his amazing body (and the rest); she stroked him haha and then said "I was hoping he would be like that. Come at look at mine" I asked "Your what?" and she said "My man" I followed her to the other bedroom where Liam was lay passed out in bed. Kelly whipped back the covers to reveal a naked Liam, he had a rather nice body, not quite as big as Jean or myself more like a swimmer but still very attractive. He was also very well equipped. Kelly dropped her dressing gown and climbed over Liam into bed and then said "Ok well I shall sleep for a little however do ensure he doesn't leave Kyle." 

I was woke up again at around midday by Jean kissing my neck and asking how I was. I rolled over to face him and felt the previous night's effects - major headache. I told him I wasn't good and he too felt the same. I got up and went to brush my teeth in order to rid my mouth of the repulsive morning-after-sex-and-alcohol taste and then went and lay down in the lounge with a bottle of water from the fridge. An hour or so later Kelly came out of her bedroom hunched over and said "I feel like death!" She went directly to the phone and ordered some room service.

Once I had eaten I no longer felt sick and due to the amount of water I had drank I no longer had a piercing headache. Kelly and Jean had gone to the bedroom so Kelly could have what she'd long awaited whilst Lee and I sat and watched the television. We got talking about Lee's personal training course which he was undergoing and I asked what physique he desired, he asked me to show him mine which I more than happily did and then asked if he could feel my muscles haha. I allowed him to do so and then he said "Ok" I looked at him blankly and said "Pardon?" he replied "We can do some stuff - not sex, but the rest we can" whether it was me stood there with no top on allowing him to feel my muscles or whether it was down to the unmistakable noise coming from the bedroom, I noticed Liam had an erection and it worked to my advantage haha. 

Once we'd finished I put on my tracksuit and waited for Jean so that we could go to the gym when somebody knocked on the door. I went and answered it and Gabrielle and Lee said "Surprise!" It most certainly was and a pleasant one at that. They both came in and Gabrielle immediately looked at Liam, she said "Good afternoon, I'm Gabrielle, Kyle's sister." He introduced himself and then she said "So what are you doing this evening Liam?" He told her he may go out again and her face lit up. She then asked me where Kelly was, I told her she was in the bedroom, stupidly thinking my sister would gather the fact that she was having sex. Instead she went wondering off to the bedroom and when she opened the door said "What's that banging Kelly?" She needn't answer as it was clear what the banging was as soon as Gabrielle opened the door, she just said "Oh" and came back to the lounge. I asked what she was doing here and she told me she was bored in London and wanted something to do over the weekend so she and Lee got a jet, she then said "Oh and guess what.. Mother wouldn't book me another room as she said she was already paying €8,000 a night for yours so she expected me to stay in here with you but that wasn't the reason at all because I complained at Dad and he said it's not because of the money and she hoped it would prevent you from having so much sex haha, I could barely contain myself so I just went along with it. I am not by the way sharing a suite with you, the thought of listening to you having sex is sickening, I'm going to have Lee's and he's going to share with you he said he doesn't mind however I personally think it is a little strange, a gay male and a straight male sharing a suite together" Lee overheard our conversation and said "Gabrielle it's fine, Kyle and I have had oral sex, it's nothing we've never seen of each other before" Gabrielle looked as though she was about to vomit and then I said "Was that completely necessary?" he said "Probably not no, however that expression on her face is rather comical.. I've slept with Gabrielle too" I now looked like I was about to vomit and Gabrielle looked shocked, Lee said "Oh perhaps a step too far then yes? Kyle I would appreciate it if you didn't punch me in the face at this moment in time, however I fully understand if you choose to do so." I noticed Gabrielle's unperfect hair and the creases in Lee's t-shirt and Gabrielle's blouse and realised what it was that they'd been doing on the flight to Paris. Kelly broke the tension by coming into the room with Jean and said "Why are you all stood with ridiculous looks on your faces?" Liam filled her in and then she said "Oh did neither of you know, Kyle I thought you didn't posses Gabrielle's stupidity gene but apparently you do. They've been sleeping together since New York. Elliot has too." I said "Ok, let's stop talking about who my sister has been sleeping with because quite frankly, I was happy being in the dark. Don't get me wrong Gabrielle, I am so proud of you becoming promiscuous like myself and I do not blame you for sleeping with Elliot and Lee as they are both rather good looking, however I would rather not know dear." I spent the rest of the afternoon in the gym, Jean and Liam didn't end up coming as they had other things to do however before leaving they said "We have both of your numbers so I shall text you when I arrive at the club." They left and Gabrielle said "Jesus, you must have been drunk!" 

I got back up to the suite at about 6 and went into the bathroom, where Lee was showering, to ask what the arrangements for this evening were, he told me that we were meeting up with Jean and Liam in the same club I had met them in the previous night. After telling me I went to go and take a shower myself when he said "Would you like to join me?" I said "No not really" he then said "Come on Kyle.. You know you want to, I'll return the favour..." My sex life was more important to me than having a punctual arrival at a night club so I did. It was rather beneficial actually, I was showering and satisfying my needs at the same time... Spiffing! I finally put on a Jean Paul Gaultier outfit which consisted of some platinum (or bronze/silver/ grey - I don't know really) coloured tailored pants and a black and beige fine check V neck, my new Chanel J12 Clibre watch and some boots which were rather like wellies actually, however everybody complemented my outfit and seeing as I copied it exact from the catwalk - I deemed it fashionable. As Gabrielle was also running late due to a hair extension issue I met her in the foyer so we could take a car together. She was dressed in a bronze dress which had a black organza over the top and a belt around the middle by Marc Jacobs, some black suede shoes which had a gold jewels where they covered the toe by Valentino, a gold Zagliani clutch, a Joan Hornig cuff which she wore around her bicep as opposed to her wrist and a Henry Dunay ring. Lee came from the direction of the bar dressed in a silver/grey shirt a black cardigan and black pants, all by Armani Collezioni... I had wore the exact same outfit that week.

Once inside the club Lee bought me a Dissarano and Coke while Gabrielle and I went to find Kelly and the men. It wasn't hard to locate them within the heaving club due to Kelly's outfit choice; she was wearing a bright purple Ralph Lauren Black Label dress which had a huge bow on the back with black tights and black Miu Miu shoes. When we got to the table I took a seat next to Jean who looked gorgeous in a grey knitted V neck with black pants. Kelly had her interests in someone else this evening who, thankfully, also spoke Elish and Gabrielle went directly to Liam. Lee brought mine and Gabrielle's drinks over and had 2 girls with him already, he asked if anyone would be joining him and his new found friends on the dance floor which we all did and caused minor speculation whilst there. Gabrielle very audibly shouted to Kelly "What on earth are those girls wearing... There is promiscuous and then there is slut, the latter is achieved by the hideous dress sense and personality the girl possess' " I think she thought they were fFrenchrench but apparently they weren't, they heard every word of what Gabrielle bellowed and said "Snotty bitch" before walking off, Gabrielle said "Imbecile, I do not have mucus! Sorry Lee" he shrugged and said "They weren't that attractive anyway, besides there is a girl at the bar who has been staring at me for a while. Do excuse me.." Following this, about 10 minutes later, Gabrielle and Kelly were getting groped from behind by an ugly man and hit his hands away on numerous occasions which he chose to ignore. Gabrielle then purposely stamped on his toe with her heel, it wasn't until the man began shouting at her in French english that I noticed, at which point Kelly was pointing in his face and saying "How dare you speak to her like that!" The man who Kelly had been dancing with was now staring at the man as was Liam so I went over. When I got there Kelly was taking of her shoe (as they do - it works as a weapon) Liam was saying "Just walk away" the man replied (I think he was on drugs) "Oh here's another one... What's wrong with a bit of dancing with these two girls?" The man whom Kelly had been dancing with butted in and said "That was groping, not dancing" he said "This is groping" and touched both of their boobs at the same time - I clenched my fist and brought back my arm in preparation to punch him however Gabrielle's fist went flying across his nose before I could do so followed my Kelly's heel across his head. People were now staring and the man's nose began to bleed, he shouted "You bitch" and pushed Gabrielle who Jean caught, more or less as soon as he did so I dived in head first and head butted him on the nose, he went stumbling backwards, stood back upright and then came running back at me. I thought what on earth are you doing you are clearly going to loose this I ducked as he swung his arm to hit me and went running into my tense body and, as a result, flying onto the floor. I straddled him and pushed his face side wards onto the floor with my fist and said "Are you going to stop this?" He told me to get off him so I pushed a little harder and said "Answer my question..." he said "Ok, get off!" I did so and he stood up and said "Twat!" I wanted to hit him again but Gabrielle's foot came flying up and kicked him directly in the face. I looked at her and she was stood on one leg with the other outstretched in front of her (knee bent - ready to kick again) level with the man's face, she said "How dare you speak to my brother like that!" It seems that ballet isn't just useful for dancing and showing off haha. 

The club's security came over and made us all leave the club. The man's face was bloody, one side of his face was dirty and he had a red patch on his cheek where Gabrielle's heel had made it's impact. The manager saw us in the club's entrance and said (in english) "I want you all out, now!" Kelly walked over and said "My friend you have just lost an awful lot of business. Each of us posses' one of these and would be prepared to spend rather large sums on each visit" she showed him her black American express and he no longer looked angry, she continued "yes, that expression says it all. If you ran a respectable establishment perhaps you would be used to seeing such things as these, however granting entrance to such scum" she looked at the man "and to those dressed without even a miniscule amount of respect for themselves is enough to repel anyone who has any class what so ever. So, you needn't ask me to leave as, having class, I have no desire to be in such a hideous venue any longer and nor shall I, or any of my upper-class companions, be returning or some cases, coming at all." 

When we got outside Gabrielle and Kelly hugged me and said "Thank you dear" then Kelly said "If you don't feel like staying out we can go back to the hotel and I can show my gratitude there.." I told her I was fine and would rather just go elsewhere. We phoned The Ritz and got cars to V.I.P room, an exclusive night club which would not have such horrible clientele such as those who'd been in Rex, where we had just come from... Only good looking, well dressed people with money get into places like that. The atmosphere was better as soon as we got into the club and due to us using our contacts, went straight in and took seats around a circular table in the centre of the room. Gabrielle and I got drinks for everyone and as soon as I had drunk mine I could feel it going straight to my head. I was clearly still somewhat intoxicated from the previous night and I was once again, on my way to becoming drunk... Judging by Kelly's hyperactivity she had already reached drunk. 

An hour or so later we were all drunk, Gabrielle and Liam looked as though they wanted to have sex that very second, Kelly was being awfully loud and entertaining the whole table, I was talking to Jean (who was impressed by my performance with the man in Rex) and although I hadn't seen Lee for the past hour, he was the only one of us who didn't have somebody sat around the table, I presumed he was drunk too. When he finally came to our table it seemed my presumption was correct; he tripped up the step onto the table he said "Oh blimey.. Well ladies and gentleman, I shall be leaving now as I have 2 eager ladies who I simply must spend the night with. Kyle, who will you be taking home?" I told him Jean and he said "Oh marvellous, that's all I need. Two enormous muscle men going at it all night long, it seems I shan't be sleeping tonight.." I said "Well you have two ladies to keep you going Lee, I'm sure you will be fine, however do feel free to join us" I winked at him and he laughed. The rest of us decided we'd have one last drink and dance before leaving, Liam bought us all drinks and we headed to the dance floor. The last dance turned into an hour session on the dance floor, the drinks seemed to take immediate effect and we had a miniature dance-off within the group - it came down to Gabrielle and Jean and Gabrielle inevitably won.

When we got back to the hotel there was nobody in the Lobby what so ever except for staff - Gabrielle went over to the reception desk and asked if they had any condoms in their first aid box, the lady behind the desk held back her desire to burst out laughing and said "I am sorry but unfortunately we do not have those in our first aid box, I do believe that if you ask the concierge he will provide you with some." I told her I had plenty and we all piled into the lift. When I got into the room I went and told Lee I was back - I wanted to see what the girls were like really, however only one was visible, the one who he was kissing and groping... The other was beneath the covers. I went into my bedroom to find Jean sprawled out in the bed in his tight fitting underwear - I shall stop now, this is beginning to sound a little pornographic. To cut a long story short I had another amazing night with Jean and plus an amazing morning. Gabrielle phoned me at 9, just 4 hours after I'd gone to sleep, and sounded rather rough when she told me that she had a jet booked for 2 p.m., I told her I would go home today however would be driving due to having Kelly's car here with me. So whilst Jean went to the gym in the hotel I packed up my many belongings. I had been posting things home whilst I had been here for a while now so it only took me about an hour and a half to get everything together. I put on a pair of Rock & Republic jeans with a black Michael Kors cashmere shawl collar jumper, some patent black high top YSL trainers, my black diamond encrusted Chanel J12 watch and some vintage mirrored aviators. 

I managed to get 3 holdalls into the boot of Kelly's car and placed 2 cases on Jean whilst I drove him to his work. I wrote him down in my little black book - Paris before I forgot and began the gruelling drive back to London. I ended up driving to Calais which took about 3 hours. Then I drove the car into the train thing and waited inside it whilst passing people admired the car and a huge group of school children crowded around it on their way to and from the powder room. Once that endurance was over with I then took the 2 hour journey into London. When I got into London I went and filled Kelly's car back up with petrol and then took it to her house where I would reclaim my Audi, however Kelly's parents had already dropped it off at my hotel whilst we were away so I waited in Kelly's house for my mum to come and collect me. I went back to their house for a while and fell to sleep in the drawing room and then Jake (their chef) made us all a Sunday dinner which I ate before going home. 

I haven't done much since being back in London. On the Tuesday after my return home my mother made me go to the doctors for HIV and Sti tests. I did so without fuss and whilst I sat in the waiting room Gabrielle walked in also. I started laughing and she sat down in a mood and said "She made me come for one too!" I had Hepatitis B and C, HIV, Gonorrhoea, Chlamydia and Syphilis. I hate them, they always seem awkward, the lady was fairly old and asked "Do you have oral sex?" Yes "Do you have anal sex?" Yes "So you sleep with men" Yes "Do you sleep with women also?" Yes, I didn't see how that one was relevant really then she said "Are you in a relationship?" No "Have you been in one over the past year?" No "How many sexual partners have you had over the past 6 months?" This was the bit I despised, I said "About 5 a week" she continued "For the past 6 months?" Yes.. She asked a few others and then did the tests. I was told I would be able to get the results within 24 hours (the benefits of private healthcare) which I did and was negative for them all, as was Gabrielle. 

Also on Friday I went out for a meal with Brian Friedman and Gabrielle. Brian is a choreographer from America however is in London due to being the creative director of X-Factor. Gabrielle knows him from her dancing days and went and spent the day with him in The Pineapple dance studios dancing. I drove down there at about 3 in the afternoon and watched them doing lifts and spinning on one toe etc. They weren't dancing ballet (which Gabrielle does best) they were doing Jazz dances however Gabrielle still excelled in this field. We dined out in the evening at The Ivy and caught up, I hadn't seen Brian for years so it was nice to see him. Ever since Gabrielle has been prancing around the house and seems to constantly have a leg in the air or be spinning around haha. 

This weekend just gone my parents went to Monaco to see 'The Greens' I have no idea why they call them that, however they were referring to Phillip and Christina Green whom some of the UK's largest retailers including Topshop. Whilst my father played tennis with Phillip and the Prince of Monaco and my mother shopped with Tina Gabrielle and I hosted a miniature party at our parents home. It was rather fun and we strategically sent bottles of Cristal to the neighbours apologising for the noise in the hope that they wouldn't tell our parents haha. 

Yet again I have managed to produce a short story haha. 

Much love, 


10 October 2008

The past few weeks..


I was bored for the majority of the time in the Hamptons. Camilla did come on that day and she ended up staying the night in our Hamptons home. She wasn't the only one who showed up. An hour or so after Camilla arrived so did mother. We were sat in the drawing room watching a film and I heard her dog bark and the unmistakable sound of heels (not what the house staff wear.) She came in and said "Suprise!" She then made more of a fuss of Camilla whilst Gabrielle and I, her own children, sat feeling neglected whilst she asked how she was and how grown up she was... The usual. When we asked what she was doing she said "Well I missed my darling children and it's the Children's Gala tonight so I thought I would attend and make a donation. Who's going to go with me?" Gabrielle of course jumped at the offer, with the condition "We'll have to go shopping though, I have nothing to wear" my mother said "I thought that was coming.. I happen to know that you went shopping the other day and spent money in Chanel, Gucci, Intermix, Bergdorf... Need I go on?" Gabrielle looked baffled and said "How did you know that?" my mother did the face and said "Gabrielle, you pay for everything on my card. Of course I am going to know where you're spending my money. Never the less, I wouldn't mind something new to wear also so we shall go. Kyle, I may need to use your apartment tomorrow however I am not certain. I have a meeting and if the gentleman decides he doesn't want to go for lunch I will have to hold the meeting in your apartment. Please may I have your keys so Gabrielle and I can go whilst we're in the city; I simply must check there aren't boxes of condoms on the dining room table." I said "I don't think there are mother, I think they're in the bathroom. There may be someone's underwear on there though, who's is a different matter." She looked disgusted and said "Oh Kyle, you repulse me. Camilla I bet you're not promiscuous like Kyle here are you?" She said "No not atall, Kyle here is something else." Rubbing a bit of salt in the wound always helps, my mother replied with "Gabrielle isn't like that either" Camilla and I looked at her and she shook her head at me, indicating that I shouldn't mention the one night stands she's been having, I said "Mother it's because I'm so much better looking than Gabrielle, I get approached more than she does. Therefore meaning that when a certain handsome gentleman takes my fancy, my hormones begin racing and then one thing leads to another and well, we all know what happens after that. Furthermore it's evident I inherited my admirable appearance from my beautiful mother and therefore, I believe it is your fault my dear" I kissed her on the cheek and she said "You are beyond help." 

Gabrielle went upstairs to get ready and my mother did some work on her laptop. My mum was wearing a Micheal Kors crosshatch tailored jacket with a matching pencil skirt, opaque tights, a pair of Fendi booties and a black Hermes Birkin which contained her macbook air amongst other things. My mother complimented Camilla on her shoes and she said "Oh I just had these sent to me by the Harrods buyers... They're gorgeous aren't they!" and then all my mother's work went out of the window whilst she discussed this sesons footwear. Gabrielle came downstairs a short while later wearing a grey knit skirt from Fendi, black tights, brown knee high boots and a chunky knit sweater which had a sort of polar neck, both by Marc Jacobs, and a brown Hermes Birkin bag. Gabrielle said "Oh mother you can't use that bag, this one matches my entire outfit... Oh actually, I need a new speedy so we can go into Louis Vuitton and I can just buy a new bag as that would match. Ok let's go." She had clearly been plotting that whilst up stairs. About 5 minutes later the helicopter landed and they went. Camilla and I had the chef make us a bit of a buffet and sat in the cinema room watching films all afternoon. At about 4 o'clock my mother phoned me and said "Kyle darling, I'm just in the hairdressers with Gabrielle and I've decided that it makes more sense if I just go and get ready in your apartment and stay there this evening as opposed to flying back and then back again for the Gala. Would that be ok with you darling?" I told her it was fine and said goodbye. I then immediately phoned the hotel and told them to put the boxes of condoms which were in most rooms in the house into my Gucci holdall which was in the wardrobe and with them an address book which was in the bedside draw - it was my black book it states the name of the person and a short descripition i.e. very good in bed, however doesn't like one night stands, followed by his number... I highly doubt that it would go down too well if my mother read that. Upon hanging up Gabrielle text me saying Marvelous, I can garuntee there will be countless gentlemen there tonight donating their money to the charity and I won't be able to leave with any of them because Mother thinks I am completely innocent, it would push her over the edge if she knew we were both like you. I replied saying Of course you can, I've done it on numerous occasions when I've been with Dad. Just tell her you've just seen a couple of friends from NYU or something and then leave with the male and stay in his apartment. Make sure she gets a car home first though. 

Me and Camilla went out for a meal to Nick & Toni's in Southampton and then went home for an early night. We got up in the morning and had breakfast made and then went for a game of tennis - I had to play easy, there was a risk of her breaking a nail, and due to me not feeling satisfied with my workout I went in the gym. At about midday Gabrielle arrived home. I asked how last night went and she said "It was good, Beyonce and Jay Z were there, everybody was throwing their money away which is good. There was a lawyer's firm there so I slept with a man from there, he was good. Mum stayed in The Pierre as she said she didn't feel comfortable sleeping in the bed which you've shared with multiple men haha. I don't think she thought about the other bedroom... So I stayed there last night with Luke or what ever his name was and then this morning we were cuddling and I heard the apartment door open so I threw him out of bed and told him to go in the bathroom and then she came into the bedrooom saying 'Gabrielle I am having a catastrophe, my cases are in The Hamptons and I have that meeting this afternoon so I have nothing to wear. I'm just going to run over to Bergdorf and find some suitable attire, what shoes do you have here?' I told her I'd look in a little while and then she said 'Gabrielle are you ok, you seem a little nervous' I assured her I was fine and then she left. Imagine if she'd have caught me, I would have had to have told her I had been seeing him for a while, nightmare. Anyway he left and she came back with about 4 bags saying 'there was so much lovely stuff in there Gabrielle!' ... Nightmare." 

The three of us sat by the pool for a couple of hours and then my mum began to land in the garden. It was awful, there was soil flying everywhere and Gabrielle's hair was going in my mouth haha. When it landed we went inside where my mum came walking into the house with about 25 shopping bags. She said "Thanks for taking a couple of these with you Gabrielle..." Gabrielle said "Oh yes, they slipped my mind." and then I was told to go and get my mother's bag. I went to the helicopter and got her Louis Vuitton hangbag, matching portfolio and Hermes agenda. When I got back inside my mother was giving Camilla a shopping bag branded with MiuMiu, Camilla opened it to a pair of grey, white and green suede shoes and said "Oh they're gorgeous! You shouldn't have! Thank you ever so much." I awaited my gift haha and I got a Marc Jacobs cardigan, 2 Louis Vuitton scarves and a pair of Gucci shoes. She purchased a Louis Vuitton Epi leather briefcase and some John Varvatos things for my father. Gabrielle of course had about 12 whole outfits; as did my mother. 

Camilla and my mother shared a jet home that evening.

Following her departure it was just me and Gabrielle... We went out for a few meals in the evenings and just lazed around the house the majority of the day time. I left the hamptons on a couple of occasions to go to New York City in search of a man. It proved to be successful on both occasions. I slept with the man from Wall St. once and another person from my 'Black book for New York' haha. 

On the Tuesday of that week I decided I needed something more than just Gabrielle to keep me occupied and so I phoned my mother. I asked if she'd have someone fly out with Maddox (my dog.) I only ask my mother as she has a substantial amount of staff working below her which includes, secretaries, assistants and other various people whom jet around the world to set up contracts etc. She said she'd have her assistant check if there was anyone available; a couple of minutes later I received an email saying she would send him out on a jet the next day, and that she did. I got an message at 10am from my mother's p.a telling me that the jet would be landing at Westhampton airport in an hour and a half. I had a shower and put on my Adidas tracksuit and then drove the 40 minute journey to the airport. When I got there a girl whom I had never met before came out with a suitcase, a dog in a Louis Vuitton bag and Maddox walking at the side. I wasn't aware that Bambi (Gabrielle's Pomeranian) was coming. I took the dogs from her and asked if they were ok to which she said they were fine, I then asked where she was going and she said "I have a car waiting to take me into New York where I have a little work to do for Mrs. McQuillan and then I fly home later this evening." I walked her to the car, thanked her and then went to mine. Before I did so however I removed Bambi from her bag, as I looked like a woman, and instead lead her by her Louis Vuitton lead. Maddox doesn't need one and just walked by my side. 

When I got back to the house Gabrielle played with Bambi while Maddox and I went for a 6 mile run along the beach. Upon my return home I joined Gabrielle in the gym for an hour or so and then went for a little sleep. 

That Thursday I piled my luggage into the Porsche which is kept in The Hamptons whilst Gabrielle put the remainder of mine and her's into a helicopter and we departed for Westport, Connecticut. It took me about 2 hours and 45 minutes to reach the house and Gabrielle a fraction of that time. I hadn't been to this house since January... It is a gorgeous property however it is so boring! There is absolutely nothing to do. There is approximately 5 acres between our property and the one next door and everybody just stays in their homes. When I arrived there I went for a jog around the gardens with Maddox and then had a game of tennis with the pool boy haha. 

The following day Gabrielle left connecticut to go and catch the end of freshers week and left me there, alone. Why she would choose freshers week over spending time with her brother is beyond me... She has been every year since she's been at university and despised it each and every time as "partying in nightclubs filled with people whom cannot handle their alcohol or getting others prespiration wiped on my £700 dress, is not (her) idea of fun!"  but yet again, she has attended. I spent the whole of that day in the gym, in the cinema room and having food made by the chef. I was extremely bored. 

In the morning I phoned Elliot as soon as I woke up and asked him to fly out. It didn't take much persuasion, nobody was in London so he too was rather bored. Upon hanging up from him I looked through my black book... I looked phoned a couple of the ones who had good jobs or I had described as wealthy, as it was these who would be prepared to drive, or fly, to Connecticut. I eventually phoned a man called Phillip with the description of Eaton-Oxford-Yale, Partner at law firm, Excellent in bed... Met in bungalow on New Year, spent the night with him. I figured he was worthy of a phone call. I didn't remember him all that well, and judging from my handwriting it was rather explanitary why not... I was rather drunk, as was everyone at the New Year's celebration. He answered the phone saying "Phillip Carter" I said "Hello there Phillip, it's Kyle... From New Year." The penny dropped clearly as he said "Well if it isn't the jetsetting playboy himself... How the devil are you Kyle?" I endured the small talk for a little while and then he said "It was an amazing time we had at New Year wasn't it" ... I had no idea, I couldn't remember. I improvised yet avoided it.. "Oh yes, spiffing, how could I forget?!" He said "It most certainly was... We'll have to do it again some time." I jumped at the offer and said "How about today?" He replied "Well that has certainly brightened up my day. I have a meeting in 20 minutes however it should only be an hour" I said I'd ring him and hung up. An hour later, after being in the gym, I phoned him. He had finished his meeting so I gave him the address and went for a shower. An hour and 10 minutes later the house phone rang, I picked it up and the screen came on displaying an image of a man sat in the back of a silver car. He said "Good Afternoon Kyle." I said the same and opened the gate. 

He was better looking than what I had expected. He had chocolate brown hair, brown eyes, dark tan and a well tailored suit which complimented his broad figure. He looked rather a lot nicer than what I did at that moment in time whilst I sported my Armani Collezioni tracksuit and Dolce & Gabbana trainers. He came into the house and I told him where the bedroom was, I also went and told Myra (the chef and housekeeper) to make his driver and sandwich and a drink. Me and Phillip had an excellent afternoon. Once we'd finished he got up and began getting dressed. He said "We'll have to do this again next time you're in New York. What's your number again?" I said "I'll message it to you.." I wouldn't. The last thing I want is him messaging and calling every week asking whether I'm in New York. I'd rather just phone him when I wanted to sleep with him. He must've remebered how I like to have sex from New Year, through his excellent performance and quick departure it was evident he'd recalled the fact that hanging around and making polite conversations is not something I am fond of; regardless of how attractive they are. I only long for sex, not a conversation, I can ring a friend if that's what I want. 

I went running with the dog and then had a late tea, I decided to go to bed afterwards as there wasn't much else to do. I had an awful night's sleep! Maddox was on the floor and was snoring so I had to wake him up and take him into a different bedroom at 3 a.m and then he barked at 4 so I jumped out of bed panicking and he was having a dream - he's security trained so a bark in the night isn't a good sign. At 7 a.m, after what felt like mere minutes sleep, the house phone rang. I picked it up and grunted something along the lines of "Hello" down the phone, Elliot said "Open the gate" I hung up and pressed numerous buttons on the phone in search of the correct one. I then rang downstairs and Myra picked up, I said "answer the door" and hung up again. Moments later Elliot came in, threw his Gucci holdall on the floor, stripped down to his underwear and climbed into bed with what seemed like the most noise possible. He said "The things I do for you Kyle McQuillan" and lay down right next to me. I went to sleep and was woken 15 minutes later by him breathing right down my neck. I woke up, rolled over and punched him in the chest, he woke up and shouted "What on earth Kyle?!" and punched my arm - it hurt so I punched him again on his arm. He said "Why may I ask are you punching me?" I was moody due to being woken up several times and said "Elliot this is a king sized bed, why is it that you choose to lie right next to me and restrict my movement, disrupting my sleep? There are 5 other bedrooms in this house you could sleep in there!" he said "Well you know where to go then if I'm disrupting your sleep don't you." I replied "No Elliot, I was suggesting you went." He just rolled over and said "Do be quiet Kyle" and went back to sleep. I lay back down and I too went back to sleep. 

When I finally got up at 11 Elliot was no longer in my bed. I put on a pair of tracksuit bottoms, brushed my teeth and went downstairs. Elliot was already downstairs wearing a nike tracksuit and said "Is someone in a better mood than earlier this morning?" I sniggered and he said "Get changed and we can go for a game of Tennis." I said ok but after breakfast - breakfast I was unable to make and could not find. I asked Elliot where Myra was and he just shrugged his shoulders - great help. I pressed the necessary buttons on the phone and all the phones in the house began ringing simultaneously, after a few moments she picked up the phone saying "Good morning Mr. McQuillan." I asked how she knew it was me and she said "It flashes with internal call sir. How may I help you?" I asked her what was for breakfast and she said she'd left me a fruit salad in the refrigerator. I thanked her and hung up. After breakfast I went upstairs and put on a t-shirt, found my tennis racket and then followed Elliot out to the tennis court. Like an idiot he served one of the tennis balls into the garden and Maddox went chasing after it, I said "I hope you have another one of those.." He said "Why?" and then the ball popped as Maddox's jaw clamed down on it. A game of tennis was a lot more fun and tiresome than one with Gabrielle, like I had to endure in The Hamptons. She complains if I don't hit the ball directly to her or if I hit it with anything remotely resembling force. 

After tennis Elliot and I went into the gym where I had a go on the punch bag and did some weights... After that I was bored and so I chose to satisfy my need and have sex. Meanwhile Myra took maddox for a walk, as I had requested, and then showered him. Seeing as we had nothing better to do, Elliot and I entertained one another more or less all afternoon... Afterwards my face was glowing and I felt amazing haha. 

Monday and Tuesday were much the same as Sunday with the exception that we went out for meals. On Wednesday Elliot and I were both bored and so he talked me into taking a helicopter to New York. I hesitated at first and declined however after persuasion, I agreed. I went and put on a pair of Seven jeans, a plain white tshirt, a gold coloured paisley Alexander McQueen scarf which was wrapped around my neck and pinned, Brown Gucci calf length boots, brown Tom Ford sunglasses and my white and gold Chanel J12. I packed a Louis Vuitton holdall just incase I ended up staying the night. I put the holdall over my shoulder and went downstairs to wait for Elliot. He came down wearing a pink Gucci V neck, a white shirt, Dolce & Gabbana jeans, D squared lacups and a Bulgari watch. 

We sat around for about 10 minutes and I comforted the dog (he knew I was leaving again) whilst we waited for the helicopter to arrive. When it finally did arrive, I braced my self and strapped myself in. Whilst I experienced feelings of distress, Elliot sat opposite with his blackberry repeatively bleating - he'd smirk and then text back... There wasn't a hint of subtleness with his flirtatious messaging, who it was I have no idea. When we landed after what felt like a 5 hour journey Elliot got into the car with me which The Plaza had provided and told them an address in Greenwich - he was going to have sex. Whilst journying uptown in the car I phoned my mum. I told her how bored I was and that I'd had to travel into the city in order to find some amusement and she said "Oh Kyle darling, poor you. Well I've just been looking through my schedule for the next couple of weeks and there's a few things I could reorganise and send somebody else, so, if you'd like, we could go to Milan for the end of fashion week?" A huge smile spread accross my face as I realised I would no longer have to endure this boredom. I accepted her offer and she said "Organise a jet for yourself and accomodation for our arrival tomorrow morning. I shall see you there." She said it as though it was a slight possibility I'd have any idea what to do when organising a jet or suitable accomodation. I phoned my father's p.a. I said "Good afternoon Jackie. I shall be departing Connecticut tomorrow morning and need a flight to Milan. I am going there with mother so I expect she will call you in order to organise a jet. If possible, book me in first, however if that's not available I shall make do with business. Also I need a hotel, not the one I stayed in last time, the one the time before that; I can't remember what it was called, I'm sure you'll have it written down somewhere." She said "Anything else Kyle" in a rather sarcastic tone so I thought I'd be mean "Oh yes, you can have my post forwarded to the hotel and also you may have to send someone over to collect Maddox.. I have no idea how he will be getting home. Thank you, good day." Wouldn't you just love to work for my family haha.

When we arrived back at The Plaza I went straight to Gucci just accrooss the road. Seeing as my mother would inevitabley treat me to goodness knows how many things whilst in Milan I thought I'd spend a little of my father's money on her... Seeing as I don't use my own. I felt like a betrayer walking into Gucci with a Louis Vuitton holdall over my shoulder but I didn't care, I'm sure they wouldn't mind once I've just spent a small fortune in their shop. However that was not so, there wasn't much which jumped out at me so I purchased her a couple of scarves and went next door to Starbucks. Whilst queing for my Latte, the man next to me who was carrying a Prada carrier bag and wearing a khaki t-shirt, leather jacket, flat cap, braces and cropped pants said "Excuse me, have we met before?" I replied "It's unlikely unless you're gay and have frequent one night stands with people whom you meet in nightclubs." To cut a long story short, we left starbucks, went to my apartment and had sex. It wasn't as good as what I'd been experiencing with Elliot the past days however it perked up my day a little. The man (I didn't get his name - for a change) left and I had a quick shower before going shopping. I got 2 suits, a cardigan, some winter boots and a holall from Tom Ford, A brown suit with subtle plaid trousers from Yves Saint Laurent, A grey suit from Raf Simmons, another from Salvatore Ferragmo, a pair of boots from Hermes, some black metallic jeans from Dior plus 3 other pairs, a jumper scarf and gloves from Chrome Hearts and a dress for my mother from Antonio Berardi... I was tempted to purchase a fur coat whilst in Tom Ford however, at $28,000 I thought I'd hint at mother and allow her to purchase it for me prior to our next skiing trip. All in all, I believe it was a rather productive day! Whilst taking the now loaded car back to The Plaza I phoned Elliot. He had spent the afternoon with a man whom he had met when he was in Milan a couple of weeks ago... Whilst he ran around Central Park I informed him of my departure and asked if he'd like to go out for an early tea. He agreed and said he'd begin making his way back shortly. When I arrived back at The Plaza I asked the concierge to make me a reservation at The Waverly Inn and to organise a helicopter for later in the evening. 

More or less 5 minutes after I arrived back at the apartment so did Elliot. I went and showered and then put on my Dior jeans, a white shirt, a navy cardigan from Lanvin with some Armani shoes and my Dior watch. Elliot put on some Prada pants with a shirt which he had purchased that day and we took the car to the restaurant. Before we left we gathered all of our shopping and my holdall which I had brought and left it in the hallways so it could be collected and put into a car when we telephoned. The restaurant was fairly busy however not too bad. Whilst we dined I informed Elliot he would have to fly back with Maddox as I was not returning to England. He wasn't too happy at first, quite understandably - a 9 hour flight with a Rottweiler isn't the most appealing of things to do, but seeing as I am such a good sleeping partener, he agreed. 

Once we had finished dinner I phoned for the car and we took it downtown to the helipad where the helicopter was waiting. When we got there we unloaded the car of all the shopping bags and my holdall and took the helicopter back to connecticut. When we arrived back I began the huge chore of packing the 6 cases I would be taking with me. The accessory and shoe case was easy as I only took out what I need from those, however the various cases which contained clothes had been unpacked and I was now to decide what I would be posting home and what I would be taking with me to Milan. It took me a grueling hour and a half to do this grueling task! I left Myra with a small mountain of clothing in the spare bedroom to be folded and posted to my home address.

Once I was more or less organised I joined Elliot in the media room to watch a film... It was absolutely appauling! It was one of the saw ones and I didn't find it scary in the slightest, nor did Elliot for that matter and we spent the duration texting people. When it had finished I had a little snack and then Elliot joined me in bed. It bodes well that I spend the night prior to a flight active as I will sleep on the plane, reducing stress and premeture aging. 

I got up at 6 to get ready for leaving. I had a shower and changed into my black tracksuit and trainers both by Dolce & Gabbana and put some magazines and things into my Tom Ford holdall. When I went downstairs the driver was already taking my luggage out to the car; I meanwhile enjoyed a piece of french toast whilst he menuveured the cases in an attempt to fit them all in. When I had finished I dragged my tired self outside and told him to just put those that don't fit into the car, it was impossible to get them all into the boot. Once everything was in I said goodbye to Maddox and began the 2 hour journey to JFK. I was on the phone for the whole of the journey so it passed rather quickly.

Once in the terminal I recieved the usual strange looks I usually did whilst pushing my 2 trollies through the airport. I am now immune to it, I don't realise unless I look out for it. I checked in and then went through to duty free. I got 4 aftershaves and a pair of sunglasses and then went and sat in the first class lounge... I wasn't in there for long before they began calling people to the gate. I made my way and boarded the plane. I studied the safety procedure booklet for a good 5 minutes, watched the demonstration and then put on my sunglasses and went to sleep... Strapped in until breathing was arduous that is. I slept for the majority of the flight and, much to my dismay, woke just before landing, causing myself trauma.

It was midnight in Milan by the time I had landed and I waited for what seemed like hours for my cases, when I eventually got them all I took them out to the car which was waiting. It took me to the hotel which I had requested and simply adored - The Bulgari hotel. When I got there bell boys came and got my luggage whilst I went to check in. The lady on the desk told me that the car had just left to go and collect my mother and she should be here shortly... We had different rooms, of course and on different floors, of course. I was not running the risk that she catch me with one of my sexual parteners of the evening, and it was fashion week so I would be on full form. 

I went upstairs to freshen up and after a short while there was a knock on the door. I opened it and my mother walked in wearing a pair of tailored pinstripe pants, an open neck armani collezioni blouse, a pair of lace Manolo Blahnik's and an Alexander McQueen tote; she said "Our rooms are on completely different floors, what sheer inconvenience." I just nodded and asked why she was dressed so formally "Well Kyle, some of us do work and I happen to do so rather a lot. I spent the duration of the flight discussing contracts and things with a man from Rome. He joined me on the flight from London. How was your flight dear?" We had the normal catch up we always did and she left to go to bed, before leaving she said "Oh Kyle dear, your sister asked that you phone her... Goodness knows what for." I phoned Gabrielle as soon as my mother left. It was noisy and I persumed she was driving and had me on hands free. She sounded suspicious when she answered the phone and said "You're not with mum are you?" I said told her I wasn't and asked why, she said "Well, I was just driving back from Surrey in the Bentley and I tried to reverse out of a space and the gears are different to in my car and" I knew what was coming "it was in first and well, now the front of the car is dinted... What shall I do?" This was the very reason why our parents don't allow us to use their cars. I'm fine, it's Gabrielle. The last time she borrowed my father's bugatti she opened the door and hit it on a concrete bollard. I said "Erm I have no idea, who do you ring when you crash a car?" she replied with "A personal assistant.. I can't ring Jackie because she'll tell Dad. Can you ring Elliot for me and ask him to ask his?" I said ok and began to say bye and she said "Kyle! That wasn't my trauma which I wished for you to phone me about, the car issue only just happened." I said oh and was amazed how this could get any worse, she continued "Well I was out the other evening, for freshers week, and we were in someones pathetic excuse for accomodation in the student complex and I had finally let my hair down a little and was getting into the party. About an hour later I realised I had put my bag down somewhere as we were all stood in the kitchen etcetra. Well, I searched high and low and asked more or less everyone if they had seen my Jimmy Choo clutch and everybody just said no. It contained a few makeup items, about two hundred pounds, my blackberry, my dita sunglasses, I wasn't all too bothered about the contents though... The bag cost me six hundred pounds for crying out loud!" I asked "Why didn't you have your card with you?" She replied "Kyle... I was in students accomodation, a black american express was hardly necessary. Any way, I turned off the music and stood on the coffee table and shouted to everyone, asking if they had seen it. The majority of people ignored me and resumed their conversations so I got frustrated and asked again when this pompus imbecile shouted 'why are you bothered, you're spoilt' I glared at him and said 'what?!' and he shouted 'Gabrielle, you have a Ferrari and a Mercedes you don't even drive... Why don't you just charge another bag to daddy's credit card and let us get on with this party' well I got so angry by that little comment so I stormed over, removed the Laboutin from my foot and hit him accross the head with it, I then said 'I shall be charging another to my father's credit card, however that is not the point!' Everybody was gobsmacked by what I had just done and my night was ruined so I asked to borrow my friend's phone, everybody was still silent and listened to me ring for a car to come and collect me and take me to your house and then as I was leaving that boy said 'see, you've just ordered for a car to come and pick you up, why don't you get the tube or a taxi like the rest of us... because you're spoilt perhaps?' Kyle, you would be proud, I turned around and punched him and then said 'becuase I have the choice to take cars as opposed to public transport, who wouldn't given the option?!' well I left and had an early night. I never did find out where my bag was however I did recieve messages once I got a new blackberry of numbers not even in my address book saying excellent punch etc. haha." 

After that lengthy conversation I went to bed. It took me an awful long time to get to sleep as I was still on America time but I managed. On Friday (19th) morning I didn't feel well and so stayed in bed more or less all day and Saturday also. I felt fine by Monday and my mother managed to get tickets to the D&G show so we went there. I put on a suit from Saville row and met my mum in the hotel foyer. She had been out all morning getting her hair done and was dressed in a zac posen ensemble with a pair of Laboutin shoes and her Hermes bag. We enjoyed the show and as all the clothes were women's I scouted the room for men. My mother was complaining at me for fidgeting but I hadn't had sex for what felt like a week. Towards the end of the show I glanced over my shoulder and there was a man smiling at me, I ignored him and carried on watching. Whilst I sent a message to Kelly and waited for a car to come a man tapped me on the shoulder and began speaking in Italian, I smiled and said "I'm sorry, I'm English." He replied in English saying "Apologies, did you enjoy the show?" I told him I did and we chatted for a while. He was called Bradley and worked for Harpers Bazaar and was following the fashion weeks around. He too had been at the Calvin Klein party in New York. Before getting called away he said "I'd love to continue this conversation sometime Kyle, perhaps over dinner.." I told him that would be nice and he gave me his number - I didn't give him mine. Once he'd walked away, more or less straight after, another man came and stood beside me, the one who was staring at me during the show. He said "Good afternoon" and I said the same back, then he said "I have just been speaking to your mother inside, she's a lovely lady, she tells me you've just come from New York fashion week. It seems you're quite the fashionista." I laughed and said "I'm not here to see the clothes, I'm here to see the models.." He laughed and said "Quite the player then... Is it the male or female ones who take your fancy?" Not subtle at all, he was attractive though and I hadn't had sex in a while so I went along with it "The males prefrebly, however one hasn't had intercourse in a number of days so anybody who could be defined as attractive." I gritted my teeth and awaited the hideous line which was coming and, it was just as bad as I had expected... "Well maybe I could help you with that" I cringed and said "Marvelous, let me get a car for my mother and I shall meet you here in a few moments." I got a car and then walked back inside in search of my mother, I eventually found her deep in conversation with a lady who's face didn't move due to being filled with fillers and botox, my mother said "This is my son Kyle, Kyle this is Amelia." I faked a smile and wacthed her motionless face whilst she did the same. I told my mother that her car was here and we said goodbye to the lady. As we walked away I said "Who was she?" she said "A lady whom your father and I worked with... Her husband owns an awful lot of land here in Italy, the money he generates is immediately injected into her face, she looks atrocious doesn't she?" 

After telling my mother I was going to meet some friends and saying goodbye, the man whom I was talking to earlier approached me again. Like an idiot he said "So, would you like to go to dinner then?" I just stared at him as though he was rediculously stupid, in a sense he was although he knew no better, after realising I wasn't too fond of that suggestion he said "..err, just straight to my hotel then?" my expression changed to a smile and we went. After my rather pleasant afternoon I left Jack/James/Jake/John (one of those) and went back to the hotel. I went straight up to my mother's room and she answered the door looking somewhat refreshed, she claimed it was down to a new handbag and a facial. We went out to dinner that evening and then had an early night. I didn't do much over the weekend, apart from sleep with that man who's number I got - he wasn't anything special. On Monday I went to the Burberry show and then went to a party with one of my friends who modeled in the show. On Tuesday I went to Bottega Vanetta with my mother and slept with someone who Elliot had slept with before - I didn't remember that, he did. On Wednesday my mother used her contacts to get us into the Gucci show which was amazing - I slept with 2 people that evening plus attended a party. On Thursday I decided I was getting a bit bored. After a morning of sex with one of the people I'd met whilst here and once my mother returned from the Pucci show I asked her if we could leave. She said "Of course darling, whenever you wish. When would you like to depart?" I told her soon and she said "Well go and get your stuff together whilst I telephone Jackie to arrange a jet." I hate jet's! You can feel the turbulance and awful lot more than on a normal sized plane, however, due to the late decision we wouldn't get a flight, plus I wanted to be leaving within the next few hours. It took me an hour to pack up my luggage and then I went to my mum's room. When she opened the door she motioned for me to go through to the sitting room. When I got in there her luggage was everywhere. There was a pile of 4 or 5 holdalls, 3 enourmous trunks and about 4 suitcases. I looked at her and said "Oh my word mother... How much luggage?" she just looked back at me and said "Well Kyle, you change your mind from one moment to the next so I had to bring enough clothes to last me... Plus 30 pairs of shoes and 27 bags." She then walked into her wardrobe out of sight and then another Louis Vuitton holdall came flying out and landed on the pile followed by another Gucci one... Her time in the gym certainly pays off. I asked what time we were leaving and she said "Oh sorry darling, I have called for the bell boys to come and collect our luggage, we shall be leaving soon. Although, I think I ought to ring and tell them we may need more than one car, or more than two perhaps." 

My mother looked nice wearing a matching Couture Couture pencil skirt and jacket with a Chloe blouse, opaque tights, Laboutin shoes and a Donna Karen tote whereas I was wearing my black and gold Dolce & Gabbana tracksuit bottoms with Gucci trainers, a plain black tshirt and Tom Ford sunglasses. The flight home was just as bad as I expected. It seemed as though my mother was intentionally keeping me awake. It sounded like she was attempting to break her laptop juding by the noise she was making whilst typing. After watching a little bit of American Pie on the television I went and lay down on the couch to go to sleep. I was woken by my mother approximately 1 hour later. She shook me and said "Kyle dear, we're coming in to land now, it's probably best you sit up and tie your seatbelt tight, I doubt it's the best idea to be lying down incase of a crash" I bolted upright, tightened my seatbelt and clutched the armrest. My mother realised what she had done and whilst I had a miniature panic attack said "Oh Gordon Bennett dear I do apologise.." She sat down and held my hand and after a second of me squeezing it said "Ok dear I suggest you hold the armrest.." I was taking deep breaths for the remaining 5 minutes of the flight whilst my mother continued with her work, giving me the occasional glance ensuring I hadn't passed out or something... I breathed a sigh of relief once we'd landed and while we went down the steps my mother said "I am sorry darling." I snapped at her a little bit and said "I can certainly see where Gabrielle gets her complete and utter lack of common sense from. I suggest you think in order to prevent such fatuous mistakes in the future." She didn't say anything; she deserved it... Imbecile. Haha. 

When we got outside Gabrielle was sat outside (in my Audi - she had not asked permission, yet again) as was Jackie in the Audi 4x4. I put the cases into the car... They were literally piled into the 4x4, only managing to fit my mother's holdalls into my car. Once they were all in I instructed Gabrielle to get out of the passenger seat, she looked at me as though I was holding a gun to her head and said "Can I not just drive, please Kyle... I have literally just returned from lunch with Dad." I opened the door and said "You make me sound like some sort of maniac Gabrielle" she groaned and walked around the car. I was behind my mother for the majority of the journey, however, when we were on the M4 making our way back to my parents house a song came on on the radio... I turned the volume right up, moved into the right hand lane and accelerated; I think I may have got up to 110, I'm not sure haha. As Gabrielle watched the speedometer she recieved a message from my mother saying You have just zoomed out of sight in a matter of seconds... Tell him to slow down immediately! haha. It was another minute or so until I did slow down when the car began beeping informing me of a speedcamera approaching. I spent the rest of the day sorting out my clothes, taking the dog running and going to the gym. 

On Friday (26th) Kelly came round to my house for the day and we just ordered room service and caught up. On Saturday, as nobody was in London we were bored and we thought about what we could do. As we lay in bed considering the possibilities she said "What houses do you have nearby?" I thought for a moment and said "Ermm that castle in Ireland but it's horrible, Abersoch, Sandbanks, I think we might have a castle or stately home thing in Scotland too.. I don't know what else" it was quiet for a moment and she said "Do you want to go to Sandbanks?" I decided it was something to do and said "We may as well." We both got up and her mother came and collected her whilst I had a shower and packed a couple a suitcase and sussed a little plan. I got into my Audi R8 (my father's favourite of my cars) and drove round to my parents house to ask for the keys to the Sandbanks house. When I got there I told my father I was going and then said "Erm, Dad..." he looked at me with an expressionless face and said "What do you want now?" Then I asked "Would you like to swap cars with me whilst I'm away?" he said "Which one?" I told him it was my Audi and he said "Jesus Christ, you're just like you're mother and sister... Which one do you want to borrow?" That was rather offensive but I wanted his car so I ignored it and said "The Rolls Royce..." Immediately after I'd said it he shot back with "No" I moaned and asked why, he said "Kyle, I don't know if you recall however, last time you used it you got wedged into a parking space and crashed both the front and back in an attempt to get out. The answer is no and that is final. You can borrow the Bentley or the Bugatti if you wish." I settled for the Bentley in the end, I don't like the Bugatti, it looks like something Batman would drive. I left my Audi at my parents house, put my luggage and the dog into the car and drove round to Kelly's house. She came out with 2 suitcases and walked up to the car... She looked from me to the dog sat on the drivers seat and said "Are you actually joking Kyle... I am not sharing a seat with Maddox all the way." I told her to stop complaining and to sit in the back then. She moaned and said "Put my bags in your car, I'll drive too, it may be useful having two cars." She dropped her luggage and went back inside the house. I got out of the car and put her bags in the boot and then attempted to put the roof down... It took me three tries however I did it in the end. Once I had sucessfully done that Kelly came speeding around the corner in her Mercedes SLR, parked behind me and bellowed "What is the postcode Kyle?" I told her and then she over took me, winking and blowing a kiss as she did so. 

I was behind her the majoriy of the way out of London and then over took her when we got onto the M4. I couldn't see her for the next 17 miles or so, however when I was on the M3 she came I saw her approaching in the lane beside me (speeding) and then drove at a steady speed once along side gave waved and then once again went speeding off. I didn't see her for the rest of the journey and then when I was on the M27 I recieved a phone call from her. I placed it on loud speaker and said "Hello." It was noisy and she said, slowly as though I was retarded "Kyle, I have a flat tyre!" I laughed at first and then she started screaming so I stopped. I asked where she was and she got back in the car and looked at the map on the navigation. She was only 5 minutes ahead of me so I said I'd see her in a moment. When I approached I saw her car door open from quite a way back (they open upwards) and wondered why she had left the car. Then as I got closer I saw a white transit van parked infront of her. I pulled onto the hardshoulder and parked my car behind hers. When I got out of the car she was talking to 2 men saying "Are you even a mechanic or just talking to me with an alterior motive because if you think this is going to get you anywhere then dream on." The men didn't look too nice, they were the typical white van man, the kind who stare a pretty girls out of their windows. I got out of my car and walked towards Kelly just as the man was saying "Fucking snooty bitch, what makes you think you're so good?!" I laughed and said "I hate to point out the obvious but this girl is stunning, driving a car which probably cost more than all your assets put together and her handbag alone cost more than your ghastly white van. What's more, you my friend have stopped on a hard shoulder to talk to a girl who is so clearly out of your league, which indicates a sheer lack of class and if it weren't for your discoloured, oversized vest and unintentionally ripped jeans, would eradicate any slight chance you had with her anyway." One of the men (not the one I was talking to) went and got back into the van, the other one didn't, instead he said "Oh fuck off!" I laughed and said "Intelligent response, well done!" I then turned to speak to Kelly and he said "Do you want to fucking fight about this?!" I sighed and said "What, so because you can't think of a complex answer you resort to violence in order to win your side of the argument... Mature and sophisticated, my my aren't you someone to aspire to. If you wish to have a fight I am more than happy to oblige, however I assure you that will not get you anywhere" I took off my jacket (to show off my muscles) and Kelly had let Maddox out of the car and he sat next to me bearing his teeth and growling. It was silent for a moment and Kelly said "Well what's it going to be?" he stuttered and said "Oh fuck off, I don't have time for this!" she replied "Oh yes of course, your busy schedule was portrayed so well by you going out of your way to stop and talk to me then proposing a fight with my friend here." He slammed his door and drove off. I put my jacket back on because I was freezing and then went and put the roof down on the car as it had gone grey. Kelly asked "Kyle what shall I do?" Her tyre was infact flat, I said "As if I know, I think you ring someone and they come and fix it. Ring your Dad." Just as I said that he phoned her back. Whilst she complained to him down the phone I took maddox to use the toilet in a nearby field. When I returned she told me that her Dad was sorting it out for her and he was going to have somone here soon. Meanwhile, Maddox, Kelly and I sat in the Bentley and waited. 15 minutes later a recovery van pulled up. Kelly and I got out of the car and went and spoke to the man, the first thing he said was "Nice set of cars you have here" and then after examining the vehicles and whispering "what a beauty" to himself he got on with changing the tyre. Whilst he was doing it Kelly and I stood and talked to him, countless people were driving past and staring at us and the cars and the occasional ones would beep their horns. Once he'd changed the tyre Kelly insisted he took a £50 tip for his punctual arrival and good work then, because she couldn't cope with anymore trouble, I took her car and she took mine, with the dog. I enjoyed the remaining hour of the journey in Kelly's car, it was so fast and everybody stared at me when I was in it because it was a rare vehicle. 

When I arrived at the house Kelly was pressing the numbers on the keypad with a tube of lipgloss out of the window and then we both drove in and parked on the driveway. When I asked what she was doing at the gate she told me she couldn't reach - explaining the use of lip gloss. I hadn't been to the sandbanks home since summer of last year. It was a gorgeous property, the whole back of the house was made from glass and looked out onto the garden and the sea. The glass did however frost if privacy was wanted. The housekeeper came and greeted me upon my arrival and asked if we'd like lunch. We said we'd go out for it and left our luggage with him. While we were out for dinner we spotted a few clubs and decided we'd go out this evening. There weren't many designer shops in Bournemouth so we just had to wear what we had brought with us. I put on a pair of dior jeans with some Gucci lacups, a Prada shirt and my rolex and Kelly wore a modified grey Oscar de la renta skirt with a belt and a bright pink lela rose blouse, Pink laboutin shoes and a Jimmy Choo clutch. We went to a club which, at first seemed hideous due to all the students, however once we'd had a few glasses of wine was fine. I had girls staring at me all night and the boys were swarming around Kelly... I saw no gay men though. At one point a girl came up to Kelly and said "I adore your outfit, is that skirt from River Island?" Kelly almost choked on her drink and said "Oh my god, does my outfit look cheap?" she sounded like she was going to cry and the girl said "no it looks really nice and expensive... Where's it all from?" upon hearing this Kelly's tone completely changed and she said "Well the skirt is from Oscar de la renta in Manhattan, the top is from Harrods, the shoes are from Christian Laboutin in London and the bag is from Harrods also I think." The girl's jaw was hanging open and she looked Kelly up and down, she clearly felt like an idiot after suggesting Kelly's £1000+ outfit was high street. The night was a complete failure in the end. Kelly didn't go home with anyone despite the numerous oppourtunities as nobody was "enough of a bad boy" or "they were too skinny and surfer style.." As we left the club we asked the doorman if they had a chauffeur service and he laughed at us, me and Kelly had no idea why and so looked at one another and back at him and I asked "Is something amusing?" he stopped laughing, looked at us and said "Who do you think you are, royalty?" Kelly looked horrified and said "No actually, I believe we are V.I.P's at this club and my father owns some of the best clubs in London plus others nationally. Now, seeing as we both bear these" she thrust her black american express into his hands "I would think our kind of clientel is what you would desire in your club, so I suggest you get me a car.... Immediately!" he looked at the car and said "Yes, er right away miss.." I love that card. It has so many more uses than just paying for things. 5 minutes later a car arrived and we took it back to Sandbanks. Whilst in the car Kelly said "Well this evening has been quite a failure. I think Sandbanks may be like The Hamptons - it's only enjoyable when with a rather large group of friends whom you can have house parties ectcetra with. This is actually worse than The Hamptons, at least there is shops there. May we go home tomorrow?" I agreed with her and told her we could go home if we wished so. When we arrived back at the house Kelly and I had sex and then went to sleep. 

When I woke up on Sunday morning I went for a run with Maddox along the beach and whilst out recieved a message from Camilla. She said "I hear you're back in London... I am leaving for Paris today, would you like to accompany me?" I text her back immediately saying yes and then began the run home. Once back at home I phoned Camilla to discuss the arrangements. She was flying out of London via jet that afternoon and would be staying at The Ritz. I told her I too would leave today and that I would see her later on today. I went upstairs and woke up Kelly to tell her I was leaving soon. It was already 11 o'clock and Camilla was flying at 1. I decided I would drive to Paris seeing as it was only a short distance and I could avoid the flight. I told Kelly she would have to drive home with Maddox. She moaned and then said "Well can we swap cars because then he can sit on the back seat and then I'll use your Audi when I get back to London." I agreed and went and got ready. I sorted out my suitcase putting most of my clothes into the boot of the Bentley, just leaving toiletries, shoes and some jeans and tops in the case. I wore a navy blue top with Dior jeans and a red and navy Alexander McQueen skull scarf with my Valentino sunglasses. I put the bag into the Mercedes and typed Paris into the navigation system. I could have got a ferry from Portsmouth however after phoning Jackie and asking which would be quickest, she had found out that the ferry would take 5 and a half hours whereas the train from dover takes less than an hour, plus ferries are always disgusting and dirty. 

Whilst driving the 3 hour journey to Dover I was on the phone to Jackie sorting out clothing. I had her drive round to my house where I instructed her as to what clothes to put into a trunk. All the clothes which had been purchased and not worn yet from Milan and New York were packed as were some shoes, watches, scarves etc. She then took it straight to the posting place so it could be sent via express delivery to The Ritz. The journey to Paris was lengthy yet fine. The time expected was significantly reduced due to being in Kelly's car which was pleasing. It was 3 o'clock (Paris time) when I finally pulled up outside The Ritz. I wasn't yet used to the car doors and almost fell out of the car when handing it over to the Valet. I gave my case to the bellboy and walked into reception. I had switched into french mode already and checked in saying "Good day, I believe Camilla has made a reservation for me, Kyle McQuillan." The receptionist said "Ahh, good afternoon Mr. McQuillan, your suite is available now and Miss Alfayed has asked that you ring her suite upon arrival."

Once in my suite I phoned Camilla to tell her I was here. She told me to go to her room immediately as she had some news on fashion week. When I got there she opened the door looking glamourous as ever and ushered me inside. She said "My father was speaking to Anna Wintour this morning, as she stays here every year and they're in contact over other things often anyway and she said that she would have her assistant put our names on the list for the shows!" This was rather exciting, Paris fashion week is the best, and the hardest to get into. Not only were we in but Anna Wintour had permitted it. That said, she wouldn't know us if we went and shook her hand. 

We ate in the hotel that evening and then went for a night out in Le Cab. Despite the club being rather exclusive and hard to gain access to we walked straight in due to the Concierge doing all he could for Camilla. Inside the club was filled with models and other equally gorgeous people dancing to the music being played. Whilst Camilla went and spoke to some of her friends I waited at the bar. Whilst stood there I heard someone speak to the barman next to me, the voice sounded familiar and I turned to see who it was, I didn't recognise the person and turned away again. Then I realised. It was my friend from school, I looked at her and said (in french of course) "Katriane is that you?" She looked at me and said "Yes.. Have we met?" A huge smile spread across my face and I became giddy. I said "It's Kyle, from School!" She screamed and said "Oh mon Dieu Kyle!" Katriane and I were parteners in crime at school. It was us who discovered how to disable to smoke alarms so I our room mates could smoke, us who would take our "bottles of water" into the woods on our way to church and drink the vodka to help pass the time. We'd then influence everyone else and have a party at night. Katriane and I also used to throw crisps into the corridoor so we could hear the maitrons coming and upon getting caught would say that the bag exploded. I hadn't seen her for almost 3 years so you can imagine how ecstatic I was! I spent more or less the rest of the night with Katriane catching up and reminiscing. She now worked for LVMH and followed fashion weeks in search of talents to be signed. She looked gorgeous in a Marchesa dress and Laboutin shoes. I didn't see Camilla for the majority of the night as she was with her friends and I was with Katriane... We danced and had a few drinks and she introduced me to a couple of her friends, some of whom were models, others colleagues and some were exceptionally good looking. Juding by the way they were acting with one another I could tell they were gay. There was Jeremy, a colleague of Katirane's who had a somwhat 'rough' look about him with a good physique, Jacques, a typical model and Louis, another model yet with large muscles and tanned skin. 

The rest of the night is a bit of a blur which is rather dissappointing; I did however leave with Jeremy, and, from what I remember, it was a rather good evening. Camilla telephoned at half past nine on Monday morning telling me we were going to the Dior show at two and she would be going to the hairdressers soon. I told her I would go with her as I had not had my hair done since New York and I couldn't possibly not look my best at Paris fashion week. Once I had returned from the hairdressers I began searching through my posted luggage for an outfit. Luckily I had purchased a few Dior items in New York and my mother had had them tailored for me in London. I put on my black suit with black boots, a grey cashmere turtle neck and some sunglasses all by Dior. When I was ready I went up to Camilla's room. She answered the door wearing a straight grey dress which had button detail with a skinny waist belt, a crocodile skin bag, knee high boots and gloves, all by Dior.... She had had her outfit sent to her by the stylist at Harrods, some of her attire wasn't even in the shop yet. We took a car to the Tuileries gardens where the show was being held... It was absolutely magnificant! The atmosphere was so much better here in comparison to the other places where I had watched shows. After the show Camilla and I went for some lunch before going back to the hotel to change our clothes for the Demarchelier party. I wore an all black Balenciaga suit with a pair of Gucci shoes and my Dior watch. Camilla wore a black Roland Mouret dress with some heels and a clutch by Laboutin. 

We had a good time at the party however we left early due to us attending Balenciaga at nine on Tuesday morning. Post runway we went for lunch followed by shopping as I was running out of clothes. Many thousands of euros later, Camilla and I attended the new Bulgari shop opening, it turned out to be quite dull and so we left rather early to go to a club. I do not recall the name of the club however it was a rather good night. Katriane was in there with her group of friends and I left with Louis that evening. On Wednesday from the dined across the room from Karl Largerfeld and Anna Wintour in The Ritz's restaurant: l'Espadon after having spent the afternoon preparing and watching the Christian Lacroix show. On Thursday Camilla went to watch the Giambattista Valli show whilst I went out for lunch with Katriane... She had sent someone in her place to work so that she could dine with me. Now in a more composed state than previous conversations, we caught up and talked about school over dinner at Michel Rostang. We talked about such times as when we snook out of our dormatories to go to a lounge in Paris. I phoned The Crillon (a hotel in Paris) and asked them to send 2 cars to near the school, I said "Good evening, my name is Kyle McQuillan, I stay at your hotel rather frequently and my parents Harold and Camilla stay there several times a month." Just like I had hoped they typed my surname into the computer and got a list of past expenses etc. they said "Ahh yes, good evening sir, how may we help you?" I told them how and they were more than happy to help. I told them to charge it to my parents card, they never found out. It was this particular night when we found out the benefits of Black American Express cards. The majority had them 'for emergencies only' - that rule was abused as we used them on every trip into the capital, however, upon getting rejected at the door Katriane said "Oh please, I'll pay you" and handed over her card. This wasn't a particulary high class establishment and so they told us we could go straight in. At about 2 a.m when we finally arrived back at school, we were somewhat drunk and realised getting back through our dormatory windows wasn't going to be so easy... One of our friends, Charleen, got stuck in a bramble bush and started screaming and the maitrons heard so we all got caught. We all got lined up and me, being the confident one, got volunteered to lie about where we were... I told them that we went for a little gathering with our other friends from Paris in a woodland area just outside the school grounds. The school phoned all of our parents and we all recieved lectures about the dangers of getting mugged or raped in the woods... If only they knew. I had an early that night due to the busy day which followed. 

At 6 am I recieved a phone call from reception informing me of a delivery. I was a little infuriated about being awoken at this time and said something along the lines of "Is it often that you wake your guests at such ridiculous hours to inform them of such things which can wait? If so then I suggest you thouroughly revise your methods as they are severly lacking in common decency!" to the receptionist. I got out of bed, put on a white v-neck, white YSL sunglasses and my white Dolce & Gabbana tracksuit bottoms and went down to reception. I stood and asked the receptionist what could possibly be so important and behind me I heard "Me!" I turned to see Gabrielle who was doing a little squiel thing and came running towards me to kiss me on the cheek. When I didn't move to kiss her or respond to her excitement she said "Ugh, rejection. You could at least pretend to be happy to see me Kyle!" I said "Gabrielle, I am happy to see you however I simply must ask... Why on earth did you have to wake me up? Could you not have waited until a more resonable hour and then suprised me with your arrival? What are you doing here anyway?" She said "No Kyle, my room isn't ready yet" she looked at the receptionist and said "despite the fact I am a V.I.P, so I need to come and start getting ready in your room." Marvelous, I had no chance of getting back to sleep. I would be listening to her sing in the shower and she would be dancing around the bedroom or living room whilst in her bath robe, she continued "and the answer to your latter question: as if you are attending a Chanel show with out me dear... Do be serious. I will have those fellow students of mine green with envy. Now come along, the show is at 10 so I only have 4 hours, I am in a bit of a rush." I got straight back into bed when we got into my room and Gabrielle got into the shower. Just as I had expected, she lunged around the lounge singing swan lake waiting to dry. Whilst she did so I attempted to block her out and sleep, when my mother called, due to my early awakening politeness was non existant I said "Yes mother" when I answered the phone and she continues as though I had said nothing out of the ordinary "Hello dear, how are you this morning?" I sat up in bed with a huff and said "Completely fine mother, what is it that you are ringing me for?" She said "Oh I was just ringing to see that your sister's jet got in ok." She reawoke me for that? I said "Why did you not ring Gabrielle to ask her that?" her excuse was "her phone may have been off so I just phoned you instead darling" "Did you try?" I asked, to which I got the reply "No I didn't... Is she there?" I got up and took the phone to Gabrielle and then ordered some breakfast. Whilst I ate my croissants and fruit salad Gabrielle went into my room, put on my Dolce & Gabbana tracksuit bottoms and left on her plain white top and said "I shall see you in a little while, I am going to Camilla's room now for my hair and makeup done. I expect you to be ready upon my return" and left. I wore a Chanel suit from the Fall collection. I copied exactly what was shown on the runway which consisted of a cashmere tweed blazer, to be worn with nothing underneith, black velvet lambskin pants and black calfskin boots. Gabrielle returned looking immaculate... if you didn't look at her outfit. She had her hair put up with perfect makeup and she was wearing my tracksuit bottoms and a tshirt. She came rushing in and opened all of her Louis Vuitton suitcases on the floor. She pulled out 3 dresses and 2 skirts with tops. She asked which one and we both agreed on the same grey satin bustier dress. She stood up and began to take her top off and then said "Oh no!" I asked what and she said "Kyle you are going to have to cut me out of this t-shirt" I was puzzled and asked why and she said "If I pull this over my head I will look like I have been dragged accross the floor by my foot and I highly doubt that image is accepted at Chanel shows. Now get the scissors." She was beginning to sound hysterical and I have no idea why she presumed I had scissors. I don't own scissors. I said "Oh yes one moment, let me go and get them out of my suitcase" she failed to recognise my sarcastic tone and stood and waited before saying "Hurry up then!" When I told her I was joking she began running around the room screaming and went to the phone and dialed reception, she picked up the phone and said "Help! I'm having an emergency... No I do not need an ambulance. I need scissors!" She was practically screaming at the person. I walked over and felt the thickness of the top and seeing as it was a Vneck I figured I could rip it off. I turned my head away as I had no longing to see my sister's breasts bulging out of her bra and ripped the t-shirt. Her tone completely changed on the phone and she said "Oh, promblem solved. Good day." I left the room whilst she changed and returned moments later to zip her in. She had also put tights on with the dress and had chosen a pair of ankle strap boots. I could tell by the way the dress fit her perfectly that it had been a little modified, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an inch missing from the bottom of it. Finally, we were ready. We went downstairs and found Camilla just entering the lobby, she too was flustered and said "Christ, I had nobody to zip me in! I had to ask the maid!" She was wearing a midnight blue lace ruffle dress with black lace tights and shoes similar to Gabrielle's. 

We took cars to the show and went inside to take our seats. We were greeted by a body guard who Camilla's father had sent for her. I have no idea why, however it seemed more or less everyone here had someone trailing behind them. Camilla went straight over to a lady called Marigay McKee, she is the fashion and beauty director in Harrods and the lady who sends Camilla the majority of her clothing... She doesn't even have to ask anymore, Marigay knows what suits Camilla and what she would desire in her wardrobe and it is simply posted to her Surrey mansion. The place was abundant with fashionistas waiting to see the show. The sat was an exact replica of the Chanel store here in Paris and once the show commenced, the models walked out of the door of the shop, some holding leather carrier bags. We all sat, just like everyone else, looking the models up and down admiring the clothing. Gabrielle, I could tell, was taking mental note of what she would be purchasing and when she noticed a pair of shoes, leant over to Camilla and said "I simply must have those shoes Camilla..." Camilla winked and said "Darling, I shall get them for you." 

After the show we stayed and mingled for a while, a man approached me and said (in french) "You wear that ensemble well. That's exactly how it appeared on the runway is it not?" I told him he was correct and due to his good looks, introduced myself. We talked for a little while and he asked if I'd like to go out sometime, I said yes and asked what he was doing this afternoon. He told me he was free and said "I am also, would you like to something this afternoon as I am going to Alexander McQueen tonight and I don't know when I shall be heading back to England." Whilst in the car which the hotel had sent I recieved a mesage from Gabrielle asking where I was.. I messaged back saying I am just on my way back to the hotel. I am with someone so do not enter the suite x she messaged straight back saying That didn't take you long... I'm getting those shoes as soon as Marigay orders them! I replied saying Marvelous, I didn't really care. 

Me and that male had a spectular afternoon and he left at about 2. Once he'd gone I changed into a pair of Karl Largerfeld jeans, Dior boots, a grey/black cable knit jumper with miliary style buttons down the front, a Bottega Veneta miliary style hat and black prada gloves. I felt like driving so I decilined the car which was offered to me free of charge and opted for Kelly's Mercedes. I had the valet go and collect it from the car park and headed first to Avenue George V. I got a plaid scarf and a suit in Givenchy, as well as a blouse and pea coat for my mother; some boots, a shirt, some metallic pants, a pair of pants with corset detail down the front (they will do for riding the horse if I don't wear them) a goldy/brown shirt to be worn with matching brown pants and waistcoat, a polar neck and 2 pairs of gloves from Jean Paul Gaultier, a leather bracelet for myself and matching silver ones for my parents from Hermes. All in all, a rather productive day. I got back to the hotel and began to change for the Alexander McQueen show. I had dropped a small fortune in the New York store whilst I was there so I had suitable attire already. I wore a pair of blue pants, brown shoes, a bomber jacket and a blue and red skull scarf (all by McQueen) and waited in the foyer for Gabrielle and Camilla. They both came downstairs at the same time Gabrielle was wearing some calf length leather biker pants with a black vest top, a huge black and red taperstry style coat with black fur trim, this was unbuttoned with a belt around, some black heels and a black bag. She had sunglasses on, of couse. Camilla was wearing a black jumpsuit with a necklace, shoes and bag all by McQueen. 

The show was excellent and afterwards I went to see my friend Abby who was in it. It turned out that as soon as the left the catwalk she collapsed, her agent was blaming the corset she was wearing which he claimed was too tight, however, I personally believe it may be down to late nights, early mornings, lack of food and being under the hot lights. She claimed she was fine and it didn't stop her from continuing with fashion week. Whilst in the car on the way back to the hotel, Gabrielle told Camilla and I of her departure this evening. I was slightly shocked by this, she had only arrived this morning, however she had a party to attend the following day, plus university. When we arrived back we all went to Gabrielle's suite whilst she packed. I offered to take her to the airport and she said that would be fine, as long as I drove at a reasonable speed haha. Camiila said her goodbyes as she was meeting a friend and I waited whilst Gabrielle to pack her belongings. Seeing as she had only been here for a day she had brought a considerable amount of luggage. With her she had a Louis Vuitton holdall (filled with costmetics - this is her toiletry case!) a Louis Vuitton jewellery case,  a wheely Louis Vuitton Damier case and a monogram case... For the day. We called the bell boy to come and collect the luggage and send it in a car to the airport; the miniscule boot in Kelly's car would not hold a fraction of this. Wearing a rick owens cape like cardigan with a belt (so it looked like a dress) with a pair of Brian Atwood over the knee boots and a crocodile Bamford bag (which is worth more than eight thousand) her belongings were worth a fortune. I did drive at reasonable speed to the airport, or so I thought and compensated for that prolonged journey on the way back to the hotel. For the next couple of days we went shopping, followed by either a meal out or clubbing in the evening. I slept with 2 people, one an american and the other italian... Both rather pleasing. On Monday I slept someone from my black book in the morning and then Camilla and I attended the Louis Vuitton show. It was marvelous. We saw some of the pieces which Marc Jacobs had designed which I am certain will be dangling from my mother's arm within the next few weeks. 

On Tuesday morning Camilla packed her countless pieces of luggage and went and boarded her Harrods private jet with her bodyguard. I on the other hand have stayed here in Paris. Since Camilla has been gone I have remained in The Ritz and have been phoning friends I have here in the city and meeting up with them. I have also been shopping, of course, and am hoping that Ellie or Kelly will join me some time this weekend. 

I feel congratulations are in order for those of you who managed to read all of that, I somewhat excelled myself this time. 

Much love,