1 January 2010

Thanksgiving and Christmas...

Since last posting the festive season has been somewhat hectic. Towards the end of November the majority of my friends and I dispersed in order to join family for a Thanksgiving celebration; granted, I am not American however my mother uses it as an excuse to play hostess to friends and family. This year in particular Elliot and his family were joining us in The New York Townhouse in addition to a few of their work colleagues and other family friends. Having not yet started my Christmas shopping I took the oppourtunity to fly to New York a litte earlier than required in order to begin purchasing gifts. As it is far too much trouble locating adequate gifts for friends we all made a pact that we shall not exchange gifts at Christmas time. Hence, the only people I was searching for were my parents and Gabrielle. Nevertheless, that in its self was a great chore.

For Gabrielle I managed to purchase a few fur garments which cost a considerable amount and finished her gift buying with the purchase an elaborate platinum ring encrusted with an Emerald and diamonds from Bulgari. I receieved champagne whilst I purchased the jewel which aided in reducing the stress I was undergoing haha. I then made a short trip to Tiffany's where I looked at jewellery once more, this time - the recipient being my mother. Whilst I, once again, sipped champagne as I browsed I picked out a pearl bracelet set in platinum with diamonds between the pearls. As I purchased it the card was rejected - how humiliating. My phone began to ring and I answered to my father who asked "Kyle, I am just ringing to clarify everything is ok. American Express have just contacted me informing me that there have been several elaborate purchases made in Paris and in New York mere minutes after one another and yet another purchase of £10,000 which has just been declined, pending my authorisation" I said "Yes father, I am just about to purchase Mum's present if you don't mind. Paris must be due to Gabrielle. I do believe she stopped off there prior to coming to New York. Please be so kind as to activate my card" he did so and my minor, humiliating ordeal was over with. I returned to The Plaza and waited for a reply from a male named Joshua who I met up with during Fashion Week and slept with approximately 4 times in the twelve hours he was absent from his boyfriend. Yes, it was my bad influence. He replied saying Good afternoon Kyle. Currently busy I'm afraid; the boyfriend is present... He may be going out shortly. I told him I was coming at that moment and got a one word reply consisting of bastard haha. When I arrived he opened the door looking even more divine than I remembered, I kissed him immediately which he didn't reject and then he took me through to the sitting room where another, extremely good looking, muscled male was sat whom I correctly presumed was his boyfriend. Joshua introduced me as his friend from back in the London days haha and we all sat and talked like a group of civilised people, despite the fact I was sleeping with his boyfriend behind his back. Finally, Ben said "Anyway, I shall go to work and see if everything is ok. It was nice meeting you Kyle, we may cross paths this evening if you decide to go out" I smiled whilst thinking hopefully not, the last thing I wanted was suspicion haha. More or less the moment the door had closed Joshua had pounced on me and begun removing my t-shirt.

I returned to my apartment feeling refreshed and sexually satisfied. I telephoned Elliot and asked him whether he wanted to go out that evening. No. I told him he was boring and I didn't want to be friends with him before hanging up and ringing other people haha. Eventually I acquired a small group of models and New York socialites to join me on a night out and I treated them all to Champagne and strawberries in my apartment prior to departing for the nightlife scene. We had an exceptionally good night, whilst in one club - just my luck, I saw Joshua's boyfriend and immediately avoided him. Later on in the evening as I was just walking into the vip section of the nightclub I felt someone grab my hand and pull me back, I turned and it was him. I forced a smile said hello and continued towards privacy when he said "Oh.. Is that it? At least let me buy you a drink!" I figured he either mustn't know that I slept with his boyfriend or had a scheming plan to drug me, I went with the more pleasant notion and accepted his offer. Whilst stood at the bar he said, "I know you're Joshua's friend and I'm his boyfriend but you are hot Kyle!" Clearly I was rather drunk as I just kissed him. He didn't stop me so I continued. One thing lead to another and then we were in his apartment having intercourse...

In the morning when I woke I looked to the side of me and thought 'oops' before thinking of the shameless action as quite an achievement. I got out of bed and put on my clothes when he woke up and said "Leaving already? Is this something you do often, sleep with people who have boyfriends?" I laughed and said "They're the best kind... They don't want any sort of attachment which suits me perfectly" as I left he shouted "Guess I'm not getting your number then?" I called back "Quite right!"

I proceeded directly to my parent's townhouse and went to Gabrielle's room where she was sat on her laptop, I shouted "Hey Gabby!" and she bellowed "Kylie! Where the devil have you been?! Still wearing last night's clothes I see, I can guess" I laughed and said "Well... This was not just my average night of intercourse. Do you remember Joshua from London who emigrated here in order to open a gym?" "No" "You do! Dark hair, blue eyes. Resembled David Gandy somewhat (minus the curly hair)" she said "Oh yes.. I haven't seen him in years! I think I may have slept with him... Do continue" I did so, telling her how I had slept with him followed by his boyfriend later that day, before Gabrielle had chance to say anything I heard "You did what?!" and my mother came from Gabrielle's wardrobe. I wanted to die. Gabrielle and I looked at each other and our eyes widened, I didn't want to look at my mother who no doubt had steam coming out of her ears and Gabrielle said "Mother... I forgot you were in there...." I smiled and said "Well.. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I am going to leave the country now" she shouted "Kyle! I do not know where you get such traits from but that is despicable!" I could not be bothered standing there and arguing with her so I merely said "Mother, we established a long time ago that you do not approve of my sex life and I have suggested on numerous occasions that you separate yourself entirely from it, listening to tales from within wardrobes is going to do no good what so ever. Evident from your current mood and this conversation. Now I am leaving and I will probably expect a visit from father later once you have told him of my despicable behaviour" she started shouting something and I said "Mother, I think you're forgetting the fact that I am twenty-two years old, the days in which you had such influence over my life are over. I am an adult now" she said "Well I previously thought the days in which I funded your lifestyle would stop with you becoming an adult however that never occurred, nor did maturity for yourself! Hence, with you still sharing the frame of mind as an eighteen year old that is how I shall treat you. Ugh, Kyle, you have issues. This is not right!" I just said "Oh Jesus Christ. Goodbye mother."

When I entered The Plaza lobby the receptionist informed me that Elliot had gone up to my apartment which I could not be bothered with. I opened the door and was greeted by a smile which quickly evaporated and he said "Oh, and why do you have a face like thunder?" I just muttered "My mother" he laughed and said "Ah... Sex addiction?" I nodded and sat down. A couple of minutes later Elliot sarcastically said "Oh yes, I'm fine thank you for asking. My flight over was spiffing-" I just said "Oh do shut up. I really don't care. Is there a purpose to your visit or are you here purely to annoy me?" he remarked "Charming as ever Kyle. I did actually come round so that you could help me pass the time and pleasure me seeing as it's thanksgiving tomorrow" I grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him towards me and said "In that case let's. Just don't speak... You're annoying me." Part way through the telephone in my apartment rang which I ignored as I was far too engrossed in the moment and shortly afterwards I thought I heard a door shut. I stopped, listened for a moment before continuing, discarding the thought of someone being in my apartment. At around two o'clock when I read a message from my father asking that I go round to the townhouse to talk. Seeing as my father was a little more understanding than my mother, I obliged. I walked in with Maddox dragging me and Gabrielle called me into the kitchen. She said "I have no idea what they're doing but I think Dad went to your apartment earlier and he saw something or witnessed something and he informed mum and she's been on the brink of a breakdown ever since. Well done Kyle!" I retorted "Well done?! You utter imbecile, she was in your wardrobe and you 'forgot'" I heard my father shout "Kyle, can you come and join your mother and I in the drawing room please" I told Gabrielle "Well this ought to be fun. At twenty two years old sitting down with my parents and discussing my sex life. Absolutely marvellous" she sniggered and told me "I'll be listening outside the door dear, not to worry! Oscar is coming round soon so he will join me." I sat on a chair opposite my parents attempting to hide the fact that I found the whole situation fairly amusing. Both of them spoke calmly as though they were addressing someone who was mentally challenged, telling me how they wanted to help me should I have a problem because they love me et cetera. I meanwhile was just nodding along then my father said "and it's because we love you that we have sought help on your behalf Kyle. You've had intercourse with 3 different people in a mere twelve hours" I wasn't helping myself but I said "The majority of people would see that as being something worthy of envy as opposed to punishment or as a sign of some sort of ludicrous addiction. What is this help you've sought anyway? Have you booked me in at the Priory for Christmas? How dear of you" My mother said "No dear. A psychologist, one of the best in the city, shall be here shortly to talk with you" I lost any sort of amusement from this conversation and my face dropped. I stood up and said "I am going to leave before I say or do something I'm going to regret. May I just make myself clear when I say that I do not have an addiction to sex, it is merely something I enjoy, just like the majority of people and am faced with opportunities of having fairly frequently. Regardless of how much you love me, I would appreciate it if you did not delve into my life based upon your own absurd assumptions. Ok?" They looked a little dumbfounded, my mother looked like she was ready to cry and I said "Very well. I may see you tomorrow, then again I may not. Good day." Gabrielle was stood on the landing area when I left the drawing room with a puzzled look on her face, not knowing whether to begin laughing or not say anything with fear of receiving verbal abuse just like my parents. She opted for the latter and I left the townhouse. I walked back to The Plaza and phoned Kelly whilst I did so, informing her of what had just happened. She laughed and then made me feel better when she said "Oh don't worry darling. My father told me last week that I'm two girls: a lady and a lady of the night, the second he dislikes greatly. I told him I was in no way a prostitute and he claimed I may not be earning from such behaviour however I share the same mannerisms as such low class citizens. Charming." Once back in my apartment I went straight to bed. With the jet-setting, night-clubbing lifestyle I lead my body clock has become none existent hence I sleep when ever I have the time. Part way through my sleep the phone rang and I answered to reception who informed me my father was on his way up. I could not be bothered talking to him so I merely pretended I was still asleep; he entered my bedroom and stared at me before kissing me on the head and leaving again.

When I next woke it was Thanksgiving and I was still in a fairly foul mood. I read a message from Elliot saying I have been told to persuade you to join us for dinner as opposed to permitting you to spend thanks giving having sex all day long which, apparently, has been the cause of this catastrophe. I replied I shall come however I have no intention of speaking to either of my parents and I shall sit and undress your brother with my eyes. Gabrielle then telephoned me asking me to join them to take a quick look at the parade following a walk around the park. I said I would join them however on the condition that me and Gabrielle walked alone. I was determined to be an intolerable swine and make them regret their actions. I put on a pair of trousers with some shoes along with dark sunglasses and my black Alexander McQueen fur coat. When I got into the hotel foyer Gabrielle was waiting wearing her rabbit and goat fur coat with a pair of heels, sunglasses and leather gloves. Maddox pounced on me as usual and we departed onto Central Park South and entered the park, my mother told me my coat looked splendid to which I replied "I know" causing her to shoot a questioning look at my father. Gabrielle and I walked ahead talking whilst my parents lagged behind and Pretisha, Bambi and Maddox charged around between us. Once the walk was complete my father said "Kyle be at the townhouse as soon as possible please" he then placed his arm around me and said "Please don't be in a mood" I said "You ought to have been aware that the consequence of your action would have been this. You have no one other than yourself to blame. Mother too for that matter. Therefore if this day is filled with guilt rather than thanks I suggest you question the logical thought path behind your rash decision to self-diagnose your son!" I crossed the road and entered The Plaza without looking back. There was plenty more where that came from...

Once I had changed into my suit I took a town car to Carnegie Hill and proceeded directly to Gabrielle's bedroom, she was stood with her makeup done and hair wearing nothing other than underwear and heels. She said "Oh hello. I do believe everyone is downstairs besides me waiting to be seated" I replied "Yes, well I'm not too fond of the prospect of standing alone with our parents. I don't have all that much to say to them to be perfectly honest" her phone rang and she answered with an abrupt "Hello" and then said "Well I suggest you quicken your pace. I certainly shan't wait for your arrival" she turned it off without saying goodbye and then turned to me and said "That was Oscar, he is driving me insane. All he seems to do is work. He arrived in the city from Japan last night and requested to come round and see me at 3 o'clock in the morning. I told him it was an absurd suggestion and he ought to go to his apartment and he has been working again all morning" she withdrew a strapless Marchesa evening gown from within her walk-in wardrobe and asked me to zip her in it. It was made from a combination of silk and chiffon and featured jewel embellishment on the breast area. She put on her Harry Winston ring, sprayed some perfume and we descended the stairs together.

We walked into one of the reception rooms where all of the guests, including Oscar and Elliot's family, were stood sipping Champagne which Gabrielle and I were handed. Elliot's father said "Oh, here they are... The McQuillan children, last as ever" Gabrielle said "Yes however, we always look the best. Surely that shows something" he laughed and we grouped with Elliot, his brother and his brother's girfriend. There was a harpist playing which was rather annoying as in my view a drum set would have been appropriate for the atmosphere. I did not want to be there at all... That was emphasised when Elliot told me (whilst in the presence of the rest of the less mature guests) "Kyle... I did attempt to tell you yesterday, however you weren't in the mood and I highly doubt it'll go down all that well. Nevertheless I shall tell you before you are told.... I have a boyfriend" he may as well have just told me he had planted a bomb in my London home. My throughts must have been written across my face as Maxwell (Elliot's brother) said "Uh oh.. I think we ought to go over here darling" Gabrielle had also turned her attention to Oscar as I heard her say "What lady from work?!" she walked towards me and he said "Oh, Gabrielle" she turned again and said "Well whilst we're on the subject; I went out last night with a few of the men from Ford and Whileminia and that man from Abercrombie who persistantly flirts with me when I go to the store. You know? The really attractive one who I slept with quite some time ago?" I wasn't looking at Elliot, Gabrielle had her back to Oscar and he was gritting his teeth. Elliot tried to say something and I replied "Just don't talk to me if you'd be so kind" he said "But why are you in this mood?" I merely replied "I stand by my previous statement. If you're ignorant with regards to what I said I'll happily repeat it." My father tapped his glass with a spoon and informed us that we may be seated. The extensive dining table had been set and each individual had a setting, I was opposite Gabrielle and next to Elliot and not far from my parents. Marvellous. I didn't speak or look at anyone. Gabrielle's expression mirrored mine and she shrugged Oscar away as he attempted to talk to her. Once the meal had been served my father stood at the end of the table and made some irrelevant speech which I didn't listen to a word of, my mother was staring at me throughout however I purposely avoided her eyes. When they finally met she mouthed sorry and a small tear trickled down her cheek. I on the other hand remained stern and showed no sign of affection nor forgiveness. What a pleasant atmosphere!

When we had finished the four courses the males went for drinks whilst the ladies withdrew to the reception room. I on the other hand excused myself and made my way upstairs; as I reached the first floor I heard another pair of shoes on the marble stairs and shouted "Don't you even contemplate following me!" however it was Gabrielle and I apologised, she questioned what I was doing and I said "I don't exactly know, I'm in a foul mood. This is the last place I want to be. I might just get a flight back to London..." she said "I don't even want to go there. Everyone's annoying me. Shall we just go? I don't care... I'll go and say we have a flight to catch and excuse us. Pack me a case of clothes and order a car" she came running back and said "Let's go to Mammoth!" That was the first thing that made me smile in the past two days. I packed Gabrielle's winterwear and sunglasses and when she returned she packed underwear and other belongings and then closed the cases she hadn't yet unpacked since arriving and called for housekeeping to come and collect them. My father entered the room and said "Where on earth do you think you're going? We are hosting for guests, you cannot just leave" Gabrielle said "Well we're hardly the life and soul of the party!" Her cases were collected and we left without further ado, stopping off at The Plaza where I packed prior to proceeding to JFK where we purchased tickets and departed for LAX.

There was a car waiting for us upon arrival and we decided we'd remain in Beverly Hills for one night before driving to Mammoth the following day. There was a BMW X6 at the house along with Gabrielle's car thus it was not an issue. Each of us sent a few messages whilst we made our way to Beverly Hills and decided to go on a night out. Kayleigh was in her spectacular house in Carpinteria where the guest house alone sleeps 9. Being American she was playing host to her entire family and said "My brother, for some unknown reason, has been allowed to come from school in England to celebrate thanks giving and it has caused me great pain. I want to come to Mammoth! Oh sod it I shall." She then bellowed "Dad, have a helicopter come and collect me immediately if you will and take me to Beverly Hills. Kyle I shall be there within the hour my dear. See you shortly..."

After having slept for quite some time I sent a message to Stephen... The man who, seeing as he is the only person who has gained the title of 'boyfriend' from me - a title which lasted a mere two days in which time I cheated twice, is incredibly good looking, well endowed and excellent in bed. I suppose he's a subordinate equivalent of me haha. He replied saying Back in the city? It's been a while. I would say I've missed you but there's been more men for me in your absence. I'll be round shortly... I hope you're ready. We're making up for lost time!

I seem to forget the logical thought path behind allowing Stephen to be my boyfriend when we're apart. On the contrary, when we're reunited and we're (I would say between the bed linen however we cannot always contain ourselves) the recollection comes rushing back as I bite my lip and twitch through sheer pleasure. As a result of this I passed on going on a night out and opted instead to stay in with Stephen, each time we had finished and went to watch a film in the media room we would commence once more. Between the hours of 12pm and 3am we had made a full circuit of the house, including the kitchen media room, poolside, spa and staircase haha. When Gabrielle returned to the house with Kayleigh she woke us both shouting "Kyle there is a foul aroma of sex in this house you repulsive specimen" we both laughed however were far too exhausted to do much else.

The following morning I jumped out of my skin when Gabrielle stood at the foot of my bed and shouted "ROAD TRIP!" I rolled onto my front to shield my eyes and told her to go away. She then whipped the covers off me and screamed when she witnessed my bare behind shouting: "My eyes! My eyes!" as she charged from the room haha. I was certainly awake. Stephen had already left which was perfect and I went downstairs to join the girls for breakfast. We left before midday prior to doing so Gabrielle complained about taking the X6 over her Lambourghini, my reply was "Well if you wish to drive that in snow and up mountains then by all means do so. I shall not be joining you and I shall just ring mountain rescue now and tell them to look out for an expensive automobile sliding backwards down a hill." With all of our skis in the car and several suitcases we departed with the music to it's fullest and sang for the first two hours. The novelty then wore off and we were bored. Kayleigh said "We could have got a helicopter or a plane here" Gabrielle replied "I know but I wanted a road trip. I was quite wrong in thinking it'd be fun. I'm bored off my head, I've got pins and needles, my bladder is about to explode and we look like we're in the exact location where The Hills Have Eyes was filmed." We stopped when we had the opportunity and Gabrielle took the chance to stretch, drop into splits, everything else which is completely normal behaviour at a roadside haha. Some men spoke to Kayleigh and Gabrielle as they passed and I heard Gabrielle say "Please don't talk to me." They walked into the powder room and came running out seconds later. I stared at them in confusion and asked what was wrong, Kayleigh shouted "You need to clean your feet to come back outside. It's repulsive. It'd be more hygienic to urinate here on the ground. I'd rather not go." The men were laughing and said "What's the matter? No plush towels for you guys?!" Kayleigh shot back "Listen, we're not from the same background. A foul stench and urine on the floor with malfunctioning taps is probably the norm for you however for us it's quite evidently not" he said "and how the fuck do you know that?!" she just stared at him and said "You're driving a battered, vintage trailer and your clothes are dirty. Please." We just got back into the car and continued on our journey. They both fell to sleep at one point and the roads were completely clear. I didn't realise however Gabrielle woke up and said "Jesus Christ Kyle how fast are you going?! The entire exterior is just one great blur!" I looked down and yes, I was going 140mph and my foot was almost flat. Kayleigh then woke up too and said "Jesus Christ we are going fast. That said, there is absolutely nothing we could possibly crash into and I am now in pain I need the toilet so much." I put the car in cruise control to maintain the high speed and our arrival came much quicker than expected. Kayleigh's father had managed to acquire us a chalet to reside in rather than a hotel which was conveiniently located and both of them charged in, leaving me with all of the luggage. I was not wearing appropriate footwear in the slightest and the snow was past ankle deep. Once inside I was immediately aware that the festive season was approaching, a range of pastries cookies etc. had been prepared for us and the fire was lit and the snow was piled high outside the window.

We remained in Mammoth Mountain for over 10 days before returning to Beverly Hills. I was now speaking to my parents again and they had invited Gabrielle and I to their work Christmas celebration which was being held in the hotel they saved from liquidation in Las Vegas. All of their employees from London and New York were being flown on jets to the hotel where they would be accomodated before having a three course meal and a night out. This wasn't really all that appealing to me if I'm completely honest. My parents flew directly to Las Vegas and Gabrielle caught a flight from LAX. Once I was alone in Beverly Hills (after having slept with Stephen again, several times, of course) I decided I was somewhat bored and got as much luggage as feasably possible into Gabrielle's Lambourghini and set out on another 'road trip' (otherwise known as an enduring alternative to flying) to Las Vegas. I had my ipod on as loud as the car allowed and sang for the duration enjoying a completely clear run to Las Vegas; my foot, once more to the floor. It goes without saying that it was a lot more enjoyable in a Lambourghini as opposed to a Bmw 4x4.

I checked into my suite two story suite which was a mere stones throw from Gabrielle's and went to my parent's suite to inform them of my arrival. Gabrielle came walking down the corridoor as I knocked on their door and said "I have a key dear." We entered and saw the array of clothing which was scattered on the floor leading in the direction of their staircase and we immediately closed the door. Disgusting. I turned to Gabrielle and said "Punish them through excessive shopping?" "Without further ado, let me get changed" After going into her suite she came out wearing a pair of Harem pants from Vivienne Westwood, a cropped top from Halston, a pair of Lanvin heels and her Hermes Himalayan bag which I spent well over £50,000 on as a gift for her on her 21st. We shopped continuously in all of the designers, purchasing shoes, bags, clothes, toiletries, luggage... After the third shop Gabrielle was complaining of needing the toilet and went to her suite, taking some of the bags with her. When she returned she looked a little sheepish and said "Erm.. Kyle" I just stared at her, dreading what was about to follow when she said "I appear to have just smashed the table in my suite" I thought I had misheard her and said "Pardon?" she said "Well it was a mistake, I was running in and I just threw all of my bags, forgetting that there was a wooden cosmetic case in there which landed on the glass table with considerable force and smashed it" I didn't quite know what to say and asked "Well what did you do?" she replied "Well I went to the toilet first, I was simply bursting, and then I checked none of the glass had gone into my bags and damaged my garments and things and then left" I questioned "And then left? What remains may I ask?" she replied "Erm, a rather large pile of glass and the table legs on top of it, my shopping is on the side though so that isn't damaged" I had lost hope so I merely replied "Yes Gabrielle.." We continued shopping and then returned to our suites where we began getting ready. Gabrielle had hairstylists and makeup artists in her suite whilst in mine I just faced the question of which suit? I decided on wearing an outfit from Dolce & Gabbana consisting of a dark metallic blue shirt, a cut off grey tie and grey pants with a black belt. I put on a watch from Bulgari and a ring from Tiffany's and went to Gabrielle's room. She was stepping into a black dress when I entered which was strapless with ruffle detailing and a short peplum with a large black ruffled train only at the back. The piece was from Balmain and I didn't even question the price. I asked "How on earth do you plan on going clubbing in such a garment Gabrielle? Are you going to merely detach the train?" she gasped and said "Kyle! That would be like scribbling on the Da Vinci!" "Scribbling on what sorry?" she replied "The Da Vinci, that painting in the Louvre! It's a saying isn't it" I just nodded, knowing full well that she actually meant The Mona Lisa however I could not be bothered trying to explain, she went on "I have this dress which I purchased today from Gucci to wear once we have eaten. Me and Mum are going out together."

When we arrived downstairs we were seated along with a few of their most senior members of staff, possibly the only few we had encountered previously and I was struck by the amount of employees they had. The room was abundant. My parents finally entered, my mother wearing her Antonio Beradi black dress which had a chiffon drape from one shoulder and my father a suit. The meal commenced as they were seated and by the time we had finished the first of four courses Gabrielle and I were both bored. Our parents were talking about things we did not understand in the slightest and instead I was texting friends under the table, attempting to acquire knowledge on who was in Las Vegas. Ellie replied to my message asking me to ring her so I excused myself from the table and did so. She told me of how long it had been since she had a good night out due to having her daughter and then said "Oh I do not care. It's one night I shall fly back the following day to avoid missing her too much. I shall charter a jet and get everyone to Vegas. I am reffering to a large jet, I intend on making this an excellent night darling. I shall ensure you're kept informed. Have a nice night." I returned to the mind-numbing inposition which didn't last much longer. Once all of the tables had been cleared my parents made a little speech which finished with "Now for the rest of this evenings celebrations you are entitled to free entry and a bottle of champagne upon presenting the club with the company name in the nightclubs which have been noted in the envelope on each of your tables. What's more there are limousines awaiting you all outside the hotel" my father then spoke and said "oh and may I just say: gentlemen, hands off my daughter and ladies... Do what you please with my son." Each and every head turned towards us and me and Gabrielle forced smiles knowing full well that each of us secretly wanted the floor to open up and consume us.

After Gabrielle and my mother had changed, the four of us took a chauffeur to a nightclub called Pure where we became increasingly intoxicated. Before we knew it Gabrielle and I were sat staring, mortified, at our parents who simply would not stop kissing one another. With that and the risk of our social lives going up in flames we parted ways... I went elsewhere with my father whilst my mother and Gabrielle remained. We went to one nightclub and my father was purchasing drinks for girls and we received such comments as "You two are by far the hottest pair in here!" "Fucking gorgeous the pair of you!" Once we decided to leave there he suggested we went to the Playboy nightclub. I of course declined and he said "Oh not to worry Kyle. You just stare at my beautiful behind whilst I admire theirs" I hit him and said "You repulsive old man! You are married you complete imbecile. No. End of discussion" we then went elsewhere. It was in there that I arrived at the bar where 2 lines of 10 shots were before my father. A line each. That was quite a mistake. Within five minutes my balance was non-existant and I was screaming at my father saying "What on earth have you given me?" Meanwhile he stood finding the situation hysterical.

However the tables turned and by the end of the night I was more or less carrying him. We walked through the hotel, his arm around my shoulder and I supported his dead weight, listening tell me he loved me umpteen times and how he's lucky to have such an incredible family. I could barely stand myself thus I imagine we weren't a pretty sight. When we arrived on our floor we found Gabrielle and my mother sat side by side, like ladies with their ankles crossed and their palms folded on their laps fast asleep. I immediately erupted in a fit of laughter when I set eyes upon them and Gabrielle woke saying "Morning" recognising no fault in what she said. My mother then also woke and slurred "Oh Gordon Benett Gabrielle. We must have dozed off for a moment. Harold, please be so kind as to remove these shoes, I am experiencing excruciating pain." It was like watching someone try to squeeze blood from within a stone haha. My mother took the shoes off herself and then Gabrielle insisted that my father carried her to her room. I imagine that too was an ordeal however I cannot remember. I do recall my father saying "Camilla, Kyle tried to make me go to The Playboy club with him. Filthy child. Of course I refused, I only have eyes for you my love!" They kissed once again and he placed Gabrielle down, he then said "and you my princess, come here" and kissed her several times until she was prying his face from hers. Of course, it was then my turn, he turned and tackled me to the ground, rolled me onto my front whilst I hurled insults at him and then he said "Tell me you love me!" I was half laughing, half wishing I could feasibly punch him in the face then I said "Get off you hulking imbecile!" I then had my arm twisted up my back and I was forced to shout "I love you!" Three times before he allowed me to go and mother hit him with her shoes.

A couple of days passed before Ellie's jet arrived complete with 13 friends. Elliot and Lee occupied the two other bedrooms in my suite and Kayleigh, Chloe and Kelly joined Gabrielle. Lee said "Oh this is marvellous, sharing a room with you too. Oral sex galore for Lee!" I replied "Not quite seeing as Elliot now has a boyfriend" Lee laughed and said "Oh I know, I heard you took it excellently sexual. What ever will you do for frequent intercourse at the drop of a hat now?" I replied "You say it as though this predicament is going to make a difference. I also intend on doing all I can to separate them" Gabrielle entered along with Elliot and Lee gave her a hug (squeezing her bum as he did so of course) he then said "Oh I know, it is quite alarming the amount of people who are going over to the other side" Gabrielle asked "What? More homosexuals?" I replied "No you imbecile, more ludicrous couples such as yourself and Oscar and that idiot" I motioned towards Elliot who replied "Lovely to see you too after speaking to you so much on the phone and receiving all those replies to my phone calls" Lee interrupted and said "Please be quiet. I refuse to listen to the pair of you squabbling like bitches for the duration of my stay. Now, will you be joining me so I can go down to the pool and stare at women?" I told him I would join him yet I would devote my attention to his crotch he then said "Or on the other hand we could stay here and you could perform your marvellous oral sex on me. I don't know which I'd prefer - a gay man pleasuring me or gaining pleasure from the amazing breasts of Las Vegas?" I replied "We shall do that upon our return" His face lit up and he said "Wooo! Kyle has the spirit. I love Vegas!" he smacked my behind and Gabrielle said "You are disgusting" I shot back "You're ugly" to which Lee retorted "She's incredibly attractive to the straight eye I'll have you know. She is disgusting for having a boyfriend though who she doesn't do so much as cheat on!"

When the evening came everyone met in one of the bars in the hotel, obviously the males arrived a considerable amount of time prior to the females however one could say that their preparation time was evident. Gabrielle wore an Oscar de La Renta high necked black dress which she'd had shortened because 'she didn't quite feel sexy' which had ruffle detailing down the centre, Kayleigh was wearing a Chanel dress, Kelly a Herve Leger skirt with a plain top and some Python shoe boots, Ellie was wearing a short dress with a pair of thigh high boots both from Cavalli then came Elliot, looking more divine than ever in a very low v-neck jumper and metallic skinny trousers. It must've been written all over my face as at least 3 people were grinning at me. I just wanted to rip it all off him there and then however I was supposed to be in a mood and he had a boyfriend... Not that that was going to stop me. The fact that he looked completely and utterly gorgeous put me in a mood. I don't know whether it was with him or his boyfriend, who ever that may be. I then heard Gabrielle shout "No Dad, that is not a lot of money taking into consideration the garment! ... Don't be so miserable! Yes it's wearable! ... Sixty thousand euros Dad, not pounds.... Well what's done is done and if you don't mind I would much rather skip this conversation as we all know you are going to agree to it eventually and besides I am about to go out so good evening and I love you." She hung up the phone looking somewhat flustered and I questioned what the conversation is about, she replied "he was just found out that I spent sixty thousand pounds on a dress" I began my inevitable tantrum and she said "Oh do be quiet. It's for Mum as a gift from both of us" I replied with a mere "Oh" and she said "It's Jean Paul Gaultier couture... I don't suppose you had bought her anything had you?" That was a yes actually haha. We continued to wait and whilst we did so I became more annoyed by the fact that Elliot looked so nice. I excused myself and text Gabrielle telling her to tell everyone I was going to change because I had accidentally spilt my drink. I returned wearing a knitted scoop neck jumper from Oak Nyc with a pair of coated Gucci jeans, military boots from Dolce & Gabbana and my diamond encrusted Chanel J12. With the scoop being fairly deep my entire chest was on show and the top was also fairly tight around my upper arms. A perfect, seductive outfit. I saw Felicity as I made my way to the lift who said "You look a little, erm... Different" I laughed and said "Granted, it's not the usual shirt and tie choice however it is my attempt of shall we say... Turning Elliot on" she smiled and said "Well I don't doubt you'll do that my friend. You've certainly done something for me. I heard of your view on his new relationship status. I didn't expect anything less if I'm honest." Everyone had arrived by the time we regrouped and Lee winked at me upon seeing my outfit Elliot too was smiling however I didn't mirror his. He was fully aware of what I was doing...

We dominated the VIP section of one club and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. Ellie was having drinks brought to the table continuously and I'd barely finished one when I would receive another. Gabrielle was drunk by her second beverage where as everyone else took a little while longer. As I became a little more intoxicated I took to the dance floor with the rest of my peers. We had all messaged a few friends since being here and they too had joined us, in particular, several dancers who Gabrielle is a friend of. They were attractive! For some annoying reason they devoted all their attention to Gabrielle and danced with her. It wasn't until later, when she introduced them to me, that I was the centre of their attention (or at least the homosexual ones.) As I danced for a while, Elliot with his back to me, Kelly approached me and said "Do it!" she then turned around and continued dancing with two extremely good looking men. I advanced upon Elliot and placed my crotch close to his behind, my hands on his lower abs and breathed on his neck. He twitched his neck in a peculiar fashion and then turned around. I slid my hand over his bum and bit my lip, he smiled and said "Kyle, please refrain from-" I began to kiss his neck and pulled him in closer towards me. I made my way up his neck and then whispered in his ear, I could feel his crotch expanding and I said "Let's get a car" he took my bum in his hands, caressed it somewhat and said "You're a swine" and lead me out of the club. There were no chauffeurs only limousines thus we got into one and asked to be taken to our hotel. Need I say that we could not wait that amount of time. More or less as soon as the doors were closed I was straddled on top of him and then he threw me backwards onto the floor (yes, it hurt) he said "Shut up you little brat" and removed his top and jumped on top of me, he said "You always get your own way somehow." I laughed as he kissed his way town my body however the laughter soon took the form of another sound of pleasure...

We never left the confines of that limo and when we had finished I sent a message to Gabrielle asking where she was. She told me they were still in the same club we had left them in and we met them there. Everyone had returned to the vip section and upon walking in several, exceedingly drunk friends, clapped and Lee shouted "Sexual got his own way yet again!" As I commenced drinking once more the rest of the night is a slight haze. I do recall sleeping with one of those phenomenal dancers, who, in the morning asked for my number prior to leaving I said "Not only do you wake me up but you then have the audacity to ask for my mobile number. Just take it from me, this morning could not go much more downhill" he left without another word.

We all took a flight to London the following day feeling somewhat worse for wear. Each of us slept for the entire journey home and were completely exhausted upon arriving in London. Lee and Kayleigh stayed at my parents vacant house along with Gabrielle and myself whilst the others returned to their apartments/houses. The following day my parents arrived in the city for work and I woke to find the Range Rover gone, as was the Audi Q7 and I had a message from Gabrielle saying I've taken your Cayenne due to the snow. My cars just simply aren't adequate. They all knew I had intentions of going to see my horse on that day yet insist upon taking each of the 4x4's due to the bad weather. I was therefore left with no other option than to take one from the garage. I decided on my mother's Porsche and drove it out of London towards the countryside. As always, I went a little faster once on the country roads however on this particular occasion I completely forgot that the roads were icy and hadn't been gritted. The car slipped on a patch of Black Ice and began to spin in circles on the road, my heart was pounding however I gradually slowed as I went off road yet hit the rear of the car on a fence which severely dented the complete rear of the car. After confirming that I was well and truly alive I continued on my journey, rode my horse and then made the journey home, placing the car in the underground garage beneath my parent's house. I hadn't yet told my mother or my father of my accident as they're never in the best of moods when I ring them at work anyway. I fell asleep watching the television with Maddox sprawled accross me and woke to the noise of heels rapidly making their way through the house followed by "Kyle McQuillan!" I pretended to be asleep. "Please explain to me why the entire rear end of my car is smashed and one side has an enormous scratch!" I replied "Oh don't worry mother I'm fine!" she replied "Yes I can see that, my car isn't! This is probably due to you driving too fast again isn't it!" My father then came onto the ground floor and said "Camilla, what on earth has happened to your car?!" he entered the reception room where I was lay on the chaise longue and witnessed my mother stood over me and said "Oh for crying out loud Kyle! It's one thing after another with you children" Gabrielle came running up the stairs crying and almost screaming shouting "Mum, mum!" We all turned to the door and she sprinted in in her heels, ran towards her and engulfed her saying "Are you ok? Are you hurt?" my mother said "What on earth are you talking about?" Gabrielle stood upright and said "Your crash. I feared for your health then mother!" she said "I haven't had a crash" Gabrielle let go of my mother and said "Oh, well I think your car may have been vandalised because it's quite severely dent-" I interrupted and said "We know" she laughed and said "Oh... So you're the culprit. You just push them further and further towards their well behaved child and away from yourself don't you" my father's phone rang and he left the room. A few minutes later he came in and looked at me and Gabrielle, I looked at her rapidly thinking what we could have done then he said "That was Jackie. I have a bill on my credit card for twenty-five thousand pounds from Vegas" crap, how much did we spend in that club? "It was charged from the hotel" perhaps not then "Because one of you smashed a one of a kind table which was in one of your rooms. It was an exquisite piece of furnishing apparently which was unique to that suite" I turned my head to Gabrielle, smiled and said "What was that you were saying Gabrielle? Just remind me if you'd be so kind" she started crying again and ran over to my father and hugged him saying "I'm so sorry Dad, it wasn't intentional it was a complete and utter accident" my father just hugged her back and said "Oh don't worry about it Darling, it's fine" I stood up and exclaimed "What?!" Gabrielle's tears miraculously dissappeared and she said "Kyle sit down. You know I'm the favourite, it's one rule for me remember and another for you" My mother shouted "Gabrielle!" I exclaimed "So I get shouted at for something which occurred as a result of the weather whereas Gabrielle's 'accident' occurred simply because she's unbelievably thick and finds it challenging to think let alone think of the consequences of throwing a wooden box onto something glass!" My father shouted "Your sister is not thick!" I replied "Ok... Special needs" and then me and Gabrielle just bickered, hurling insults at one another until my father shouted "Ok! Be quiet please. The car and the table will get paid for. End of story, let's not discuss it any further. Now just sit down." After sitting and having tea brought to us by the house keeper my mother asked where we would like to go for Christmas she said "Well the presents are currently in Connecticut after being sent there from Aspen and The Hamptons, however I wasn't sure whether or not to have them sent elsewhere. Paris maybe? The Hamptons? Barbados? What about the Vineyard in Italy?" It was said with such enthusiasm however Gabrielle and I groaned and said "Definitely not the vineyard! It makes me suicidal" My father suggested "The castle in Ireland?!" Gabrielle said "Oh and spend Christmas sitting up every night getting haunted by ghosts? No thank you." I told them I enjoyed Aspen the previous year but Gabrielle shot that idea down saying she refused to go to the same place on two consecutive years. My father suggested Beverly Hills yet I didn't really want to spend Christmas day anywhere warm then Gabrielle said "My house in Malibu?!" I reminded her of what I had just said and my mother replied "Well I would quite like to spend it in New York personally in the townhouse. In my view Thanksgiving was nice, well the setting was perhaps - not the celebratory meal its self. Although that said it has been a considerable amount of time since we've been to The Hamptons and that's a lovely home, as is Connecticut. Oh I can't decide."

Between then and Christmas I received messages from my mother saying The presents have remained in Connecticut, we're spending it there. And then Three days later A change of plan. We're going to the Hamptons. Followed by A further change of plan. We are now spending Christmas in the Townhouse. Decision made. Catch a flight as soon as possible dear x which I received on the day before Christmas eve. I immediately booked a flight which left that day and went to pack my belongings and the gifts which I had purchased. I arrived at Heathrow in good time to find that my flight was cancelled due to the weather. Marvellous! I telephoned my mother to inform her and she said "Oh you as well. Your father is on his way back from Japan, your sister is stranded in Paris and I'm here in New York with Jake" (the chef who lives in London yet gets flown around the world, he and his wife and children are also spending Christmas in New York in a penthouse of a hotel, enabling him to prepare Christmas Dinner for our family) she began to stress so I told her I would deal with the matter. I approached the help desk and asked whether there was any chance of my flight leaving on that day. She said "As of yet I think it may be in the morning sir. We apologise for any inconveinience" I asked whether any of the other airports were available to fly from and she said "The majority in the north of England are operating as normal" I told her to refund my ticket and I left the airport, taking a chauffeur back to my house. I considered the amount of luggage I had and that I needed to get to Manchester/Liverpool fairly quickly and so decided on taking Gabrielle's Ferrari. The car was quite literally piled with luggage and I began my journey. I telephoned Jackie on the way who was spending Christmas in our Dubai home and told her to book me a jet from Manchester Airport. The motorways were clear of snow and ice thus I was able to do the journey in just over three hours. I placed the car in the long stay carpark and was greeted in the airport. I went directly to my plane and strapped myself in for a lonesome journey to JFK.

My Parents, Gabrielle and I spent Christmas eve watching The Nutcracker in New York. Gabrielle and my mother enjoyed it an awful lot more than my father and I did. I became bored after the first forty minutes and I think my father was trying his hardest to keep his eyes open. Of course Gabrielle came out with comments such as "Oh her turnout was positively horrendous" "... she and I danced together when I attended a summer school here in New York, she was exceptional then" and then the entire journey home she said "Oh I want to perform the nutcracker again" and then burst into tears, questioning whether or not she had 'lost it.' I was sick to death of Ballet by that point thus I had no sympathy what so ever. It's always good to see that the Christmas sprit hasn't resulted in me becoming a pleasant person or anything haha.

On Christmas morning we congregated in the drawing room which was abundant with gifts all with co-ordinating wrapping paper adhering to this year's theme of black and white. My mother had purchased a gift for my father from all of us seeing as Gabrielle and I were at a loss. It was the new Mazeratti. Gabrielle received yet another extortionately priced piece of jewellery, this time being an amazing Blue diamond ring of 6 carats set in platinum. Gabrielle gave my mother her couture from us and she recieved a Sapphire ring from Vancleef & Arpels, courtesy of my father. It was then my turn and after everyone having received their main gifts and me sat with a pile of bags, clothes and shoes I wasn't all that satisfied. I was then given a smaller box and a smile began to emerge. It was either a car or a house... I opened the box to find the keys for an Aston Martin attached to a Louis Vuitton keyring. It was the one-77! I almost knocked my father unconscious when I pounced on him and pulverised my mother's bones when I hugged her in thanks haha.

Whilst Jake prepared dinner my family and I went on a horse and carriage around the park, when they proposed the prospect I said "What an unnecessary cliché" only to be told to stop being so cold haha. We all put on jeans and fur (apart from my father) and made our way to the park. Upon finding a carriage Gabrielle was about to climb in in her heels when she saw the blankets which were provided. She stopped dead and jumped back out leaving the rest of us wondering what on earth she had seen, she then said "Move that blanket.. Dad get rid of it now! It's probably riddled with Pleuracy" I said "That's a chest infection you imbecile, how do you expect to catch that from a blanket?" she shouted "Well leper then" I corrected her "Leprosy Gabrielle and I doubt you can catch that from a blanket either" she told me to shut up and got in. When we had all sat down I stared at the seat which she was sat on and then bollowed "Oh my god Gabrielle! What's that!?!" and pointed to it, it was nothing, however I achieved what I intended and she screamed whilst jumping to her feet. My father found it amusing in addition to myself however Gabrielle merely kicked me in my shins and took her seat once more haha. We returned to the townhouse and the hair and makeup people came to aid my sister and mother in getting ready whilst I took a shower and changed into my Gucci suit. I went downstairs into the kitchen in search of food and, just to be polite, asked Jake if he'd like me to help, he just stared at me and said "Would you like food poisoning?"

Dinner was served at 3, my mother wearing a black halter neck evening gown which was embellished in swarovski crystals by Julien Macdonald and Gabrielle was wearing a sparkly gold Donna Karan floor length gown; my father and I both in shirts in pants. With the three courses prepared and merely waiting to be served, Jake left to go and join his own family for Christmas dinner and left us in the capable hands of housekeeping. The food was delicious and once we had finished my mother said that Elliot and his family were joining us from Connecticut for the evening. They were already in their helicopter making the journey to Manhattan. My immediate thoughts were of the subject of intercourse obviously and the prospect of having it on Christmas day brought a smile to my face. As we ate I began to think about the car I had received. The deal which me and my father had made involved me getting the car as a result of getting a job (something which I qualified for yet never pursued) as that is why Gabrielle got her Lambourghini. Hence, I should have got something additional. I told my parents this and my mother placed her knife and fork down, pursed her lips and looked at me. I immediately regretted saying it. Gabrielle was smiling angelically at me and said "Kyle.. The reason is obvious. I am the favourite child. I don't know how many times I need to tell you." The conversation was then dismissed by my father who said it was going to result in yet another family domestic haha. Randomly, during dessert, Gabrielle asked "Dad, who do you love more? Me or Kyle?" he said "Oh you Gabrielle" she is such a little cow.

Elliot and his family arrived and were served wine upon entry and their coats were taken. We sat and talked in the reception room whilst drinking and discussed our plans for New Year. I had none as of yet, despite having invitations to countless events around the world. Gabrielle then said "Well, I was contemplating having a gathering at my Malibu beach house... Perhaps making a day of it?" I encouraged her whereas my parents did quite the opposite saying "Do you recall what our house looked like post your 'gathering'" Elliot's father laughed and said "Yes I also recall it seeing as it was I who was required to go and put a stop to the event" Me Gabrielle and Elliot sat looking sheepish haha. The drinks continued being consumed and later on, for some unknown reason, I took to the Piano - something I only ever usually do for my own pleasure however on this occasion Gabrielle's shoes were off and she was dancing around in her gown, performing a variety of ballet moves. My mother began to cry a little and said "Oh this is simply divine. Exactly what the pair of you did in your youth" haha. When around 1 am arrived my mother asked whether they would like to stay; I said "Maxwell" Elliot's unbelievably good looking straight brother "may sleep in my bed if he wants" Everyone laughed with the exception of my mother who thought it was a vulgar comment and said "Oh Kyle do keep such crude remarks to yourself! Elliot I expect you will be in Kyle's room..." Maxwell unfortunately slept alone; I would have much rather slept with him than Elliot however I suppose he's a close second. Everyone was accommodated in the townhouse due to it boasting 8 bedrooms, Elliot and I attempted to be quiet in the presence of both of our families however one can only contain ones self so much whilst experiencing such pleasure haha.

Post Christmas, I weighed up the pros and cons of going back to England to drive my new car. Granted I was eagerly anticipating a drive in the new automobile however I simply did not want to endure a flight there only to have to fly back to Los Angeles a few days later in order to attend Gabrielle's Malibu gathering for New Year. With that in mind I remained in New York and gradually made my way through several contacts from my little black book... Marcus, Justin, Henry, Alfie, Charles, David...

I have finished writing this whilst on the flight to Los Angeles from New York with several friends who are also attending Gabrielle's gathering which has become a party which ought to last the entire day. Starting from mid afternoon to post mid-night. I shall inform you as to how it went next time.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year chaps!


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