22 November 2008

London and Dubai... 22nd November

Following my last post, you'll be surprised to know I have remained in England - despite the fact the weather is appalling. Since going dancing with Brian Friedman Gabrielle has not stopped. On Wednesday of last week she didn't have a busy timetable at university and so went to The Pineapple Dance Studios in convent garden. She paid for a studio for a couple of hours so that she could use it and make up dance routines etc. I was shopping on Bond Street at the time and after spending a few thousand pounds took a detour home via the studios. I went inside and asked where Gabrielle would be, she told me how she'd just paid to take one of the classes and where it was. I went and spotted her straight away. Stood at the front of the class whilst the teacher flicked through songs on her ipod, Gabrielle choreographed the dance and lead the group. I watched them run through the dance which she had created and whilst they had a minor break I went in and said hello, or so I intended upon doing. I gave Gabrielle the shoes I had been instructed to purchase for her (Azzedine Alaia) when all of a sudden all eyes were on me. I loved it of course. Gabrielle introduced me when someone asked whether I was a dancer also. I told them I wasn't when Gabrielle said "Well I did try when we were younger however his arabesque was truly diabolical. That said, he performs rather impressive lifts." As soon as she said it I knew what was coming. The whole class simultaneously asked for Gabrielle and I to perform some lifts for their entertainment. I declined. Yet the class were persistent as was Gabrielle so I gave in in the end. Gabrielle said "I have some of your tracksuit bottoms in my bag, I suggest you go and put them on as those jeans are not appropriate attire." She sounded like my mother. When I retuned Gabrielle had swapped her trainer things for point shoes and was stood on one toe with the other leg in a perfect straight line with the other. When I entered she stopped with the peculiar position and talked the class through the key to lifts etc. I didn't listen at that point and merely began listening when she told me which lift we were doing. I knew them all as I was required to do this fairly often when she was bored. It was in no way strenuous, I lift triple my sister's weight in the gym; she's like a feather. 


Once that minor ordeal was over with I told Gabrielle I would meet her back at our parents house. Whilst in the car on the way home I text Kelly and Elliot asking what they were doing. By this time it was about half past 4/5 o'clock.. Kelly replied telling me she was just having her hair done and Elliot said I've just got out of the shower, I will probably see you later.. I had no plans to do so however I wasn't going to decline so I said ok. Gabrielle arrived at my parents house about 10 minutes after I did. We sat in the kitchen with my mother for a while and she asked about what we'd done, we told her and then Gabrielle decided to make up a routine. When she suggested it I looked at her like she was stupid and said "No" when she said, as though it made it so much better "We can use it next time we're out in London together.." My mother cut her off when she asked whether Gabrielle had booked a jet for the weekend yet, Gabrielle replied "I don't know, has she?" my mother said "Has who, I'm asking you dear" Gabrielle looked at her like she was an idiot and said "Well I am not going to know how to book a jet am I.. I was referring to Jackie" she then bellowed Jackie's name through the house, telling her to come to the kitchen. My mother said "I do not understand what you two find so challenging about making a phone call to book a jet.. Jackie is not here to assist you, she is your father's assistant" Jackie walked into the room and I walked past and smacked her on the bum and said "She doesn't mind, it keeps her going and prevents premeture aging. If she were to get bored due to having nothing to do those frown lines would develop an awful lot quicker" Gabrielle was oblivious to what we were talking about and said "Jackie you can make up a routine with me!" Jackie also said no and Gabrielle said "I'm your boss, do it!" She was joking of course and Jackie laughed however my mother tutted and said "Gabrielle. You don't even have the authority do dismiss our staff dear.." Gabrielle said "Ok, I'm sorry but will you dance with me?" Jackie said "No Gabrielle I shan't. Now, what is it that you called me in here for?" Gabrielle told her she needed a jet for Friday morning to New York, Jackie said "I shall book you one right away.. Why aren't you getting ready?" Gabrielle looked blank and then my mother said "Oh buggeration.. I forgot to mention it to you. It's the James Bond premiere this evening.." Gabrielle and I looked at each other and gasped, she ran upstairs whilst I grabbed my car keys off the table to go and get my new clothes from the car. When I got back inside Gabrielle bellowed "Kyle.. Can you go and get Claire from her house for me. It is a matter of urgency, I need to wash my hair!" I agreed but took her car. Claireis a makeup artist and became friends with my sister due to her requiring her services most weeks prior to a night out. Claire does Gabrielle's makeup for free on the condition that she can borrow some of Gabrielle's clothes occasionally... She's a makeup artist, on her wage she cannot afford to spend £1,000 on one dress and my sister only wears it once. It seems like a rather good deal which they have in practise...


I collected Claire and took her back to my parents house. With her, Claire had a rather large Louis Vuitton makeup case which had Gabrielle's date of birth on it. I enquired about this and she said "Oh, she spilt liquid eye liner inside of it and wouldn't use it anymore so she gave it to me. I of course didn't say no, these things retail at over two thousand pounds!" When we arrived back at my parents I ran up to my room to have a shower and Claire went into Gabrielle's where the hairdryer was currently going. Once out of the shower I put on a black tailored suit which was in my wardrobe from Saville Rowe along with a Tom Ford shirt and shoes which I had purchased that afternoon. I went to my many accessory draws and put on a skinny Gucci scarf which complimented the open neck shirt. I then put on my Rolex and a Bulgari ring, which I didn't know I had haha. When I was finally ready I put on a spritz of my Clive Christian no 1 aftershave and went to Gabrielle's room. Shopping bags and clothes littered her floor, I walked through her enourmous walk-in wardrobe to the bathroom which doubled as a dressing room. She was sat at the dressing table whilst Claire did her makeup and someone else who I'd seen before did her hair. She was nearly done and said "Kyle which dress do you prefer? They're hung up in my wardrobe.." The term wardrobe didn't quite suit the room in which she kept her clothes. She has the biggest one in the house yet still overflows into mine and the spare bedroom. In there she has black walls with a dark grey (almost black) pattern on, black shag pile carpet, a white ceiling with a white chaise longue in one corner of the room, a mannequin in the other which was currently wearing a black Christian Lacroix gown (possibly couture), a white chandelier on the cieling with and her clothes take up the rest of the wall space behind glass doors which can be frosted via a switch, when the doors for each wardrobe are opened the dimmed light goes brighter and dimms again when closing the door. There is a rather large black suede set of draws in the centre of the room which has glass covering the surface except for a couple of inches, beneath the glass there is a range of jewellery consisting of coloured stones, Harry Winston rings etc. The section which isn't covered by glass lifts up and a television comes out which can be turned so that she can watch it whilst picking an outfit to wear. All in all, a rather spectacular wardrobe space. I looked at the dresses: a Marc Jacobs lace dress, a black Escada strapless dress and a black Chloe dress with a bow on the front. I told her I prefered the Chloe and she came in, hair done, with her two helpers and asked for their opinion. All of us agreed except Gabrielle.. She preferred the Marc Jacobs. She said "Oh before I forget here you go Claire.." she handed her a BE&D shoe box "I forgot I had them and I won't wear them again now, there's a little scuff on the heel" she took them out of the box and to the naked eye, there was no scuff.  Gabrielle had probably examined them before wearing them we both did with anything which we had worn before. Claire took the shoes and then Gabrielle said "Ah, Jacob, how can I thank you.. She opened the bottom drawer of the little island which lit up upon doing so. It was her refrigerator. She took out a bottle of Dom Perignon and handed it to him. They both kissed her on the cheek and said "This will do us for the next few times I think dear.. See you soon" 


I went downstairs and sat in the drawing room with my mother while I waited for Gabrielle. I asked her why she wasn't going and she said "I cannot be bothered dear, plus I'm catching a 6 o'clock flight to Dubai in the morning due to work so I need an early night. Your father is going though, I think he may take Jackie's husband. She tells me he adores James Bond so I imagine it will make his day, or year perhaps. I forgot to tell her actually..." She told me to go and see how long my Dad would be whilst she phoned Jackie. I went into his bedroom and asked how long he would be, he said "Not long now, 15 minutes or so.. You're not going are you?" I tutted and said "Father I ought to be asking you that question. Please try not to humiliate me or Gabrielle this time" I was referring to last time we went to a red carpet event my father saw me talking to a male when inside and came over and said "I can assure you he won't ring you back, after tonight you will neither hear or see of him again" the person asked who he was at that point and he said "Can't you tell where he gets his astonishing good looks from. I'm his father of course" he then kissed me on the cheek. I was so embarrassed. Whilst he went over to Gabrielle I went to my mother so she would have words. When he went over to Gabrielle he asked her and the person who she was talking to what they were talking about. She told him nothing really, hoping he'd walk away and then he said "What were you hoping to get from this conversation? A friendship or a marvellous evening?" The person said the latter and then asked who he was, Gabrielle was stood with her eyes shut cringing at this point and my father said "Her father. Now the fact that you just admitted you want to do such a thing to a complete stranger and someone who is clearly far older than you shows a complete lack of social decency and therefore I think you ought to walk away and not talk to my daughter here. Now I shall inform my son over there of who you are so I advise, seeing as he will be with her for the rest of the evening that you don't attempt to make a move with Gabrielle." You can imagine how much she screamed at him upon arriving home the next day. 


I went back downstairs and my mother said she would take us to the premiere now. She shouted Gabrielle but she asked her to come up stairs. Ten minutes later they both came down and I asked what could have taken so long "Jewellery Kyle" was the answer I got from both of them. My mother got the keys to her Mercedes when me and Gabrielle both said "No!" She asked what and Gabrielle said "The Bentley mother" I said "No! The Rolls" Gabrielle changed her mind and agreed with me and then my mother went to change her keys. We both sat in the back of the black Phantom texting our friends seeing who would be there whilst my mother told us to behave ourselves. We arrived at more or less the same time as Princes William and Harry so everybody was screaming. I almost felt deaf. Gabrielle thought it was for her at first I just allowed her to figure that out in her head though. We saw Kelly on the red carpet with Elliot and Lee arrived shortly after with Kayleigh and Ellie, one on each arm. The film was good however would have been better had Gabrielle not been pestering Lee about what was happening and then leaning over and asking me. I merely told her to pretend she knew and try to look interested. Kelly complained of being bored and that the film was poorly shot as she couldn't see what was happening half the time and gazed around the room at peoples outfits for most of it. Afterwards we all took cars to the after party at The Battersea Power Station... My father went in his Aston Martin in aid of James Bond whereas me and my friends had organised chauffeurs. I didn't know what to expect of the venue as the power station is and unsightly obstruction however when we arrived there it was rather nice. The party was held in a huge marquee which had red carpet throughout and a huge bar in the centre of the room. About half an hour into the party my mother came over to the table dressed in a Herve Leger dress and said "Hello darling, I got bored at home. Your father and I are sat just over there with Mohammed, come and say hello." I went with my mother to her table where my father was sat drinking Whisky and talking to Mohammed Al Fayed (owner of Harrods and The Ritz Pars - my friend's father.) He made rather a fuss of me and said "Camilla tells me you've just returned from a stay in Paris.. Did they treat you well? You were there for a number of weeks weren't you?" I told him they treated me with exceptionally well and I had no idea how long I had been there. He turned to my mother and said "A few weeks in the Chanel suite must have cost you a little... I'll have them refund it for such dear friends" my mother said "Don't be so absurd, it's nothing to worry about. He spent near enough the same amount of money on shopping whilst there.." Mohammed said "No doubt Camilla helped with that" I asked where she was this evening and he said "At a party for Yves Saint Laurent, we were both invited but I'd rather be here. She just messaged telling me it wasn't the most fun." 


A couple of hours or so later, after rather a few glasses of wine Camilla showed up. She looked stunning in a black dress with tights and heels and hugged me and Gabrielle upon our arrival. There was a body guard standing by her just in case, as usual. She had just come from The Connaught hotel but said this scene was a lot more lively. Camilla joined us at our table whilst her body guard watched over. Lee attempted making a pass at her but I merely shook my head suggesting he shouldn't bother - she's not like that. We all left at around 1 a.m. Camilla said she'd get in touch soon and took a helicopter back to her surrey mansion with her father. Kelly came back to my house, I tried to ignore the fact and they tried to not make it obvious however Gabrielle went back with Lee and Elliot came with Kayleigh to my house. 


When I woke up in the morning I went downstairs into the kitchen to see everyone. They had already ordered room service for us all and were sat around the table eating. All of them had my clothes on. Elliot had on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and no top, Kelly had on my shirt from the previous night, Kayleigh had on a hooded jumper which covered her bottom half also and I just had on a hooded sweatshirt with my underwear. We all thought about what we were going to do today and Elliot said he was going running, I told him to take Maddox with him so I didn't have to go running as well as the gym which was my plan, Kelly said she would join me in the gym and Kayleigh didn't know. I booked Kelly and I a session with the personal trainer for boxing which I thought would be a good work out for both of us. I booked it for 2 o'clock and she swapped my shirt for a tracksuit of Gabrielle's which she left in my house and we went to the gym. The trainer wasn't particularly good looking however had a body like mine from what I could see. We boxed for a little while and then he told us to put on the glove things and punch each others hands. Kelly punched mine and there was no problem. Then we swapped. I punched her hand with relative force, yet no where near as far as I could have and as soon as I did so she shouted "Ouch you imbecile!" and hit me across the head with the pad. I said "Kelly how on earth did that hurt.. You have a pad on your hand." She had a little tantrum and said "I am no longer participating in this. I shall see you in the Jacuzzi. You have some making up to do!" Whilst I finished off my session Kelly went and put a bikini on which she found in the room Gabrielle uses. I had no idea she kept all of this stuff in my house. When we got into the Jacuzzi there was another couple in there around forty years old. I made a conversation with them and then after 5 minutes Kelly mouthed "I'm bored" and bit her lip provocatively meaning she wanted to go and have sex. I didn't feel like it at that moment in time, I was nice and relaxed and still having a conversation with the couple. Then she began rubbing me with her foot. It was rather amusing as we were both carrying on the conversation whilst she rubbed me with her foot, oblivious to the couple that she was sexually seducing me in their presence. I ignored her for a little while longer as I knew it was more of a torture for her than it was for me, although it was becoming rather unbearable, then she moved next to me. When she did so she started putting her hand down my shorts which I could only bear for a few more minutes and then we had to excuse ourselves and I walked through the pool area trying to hide my erection before getting my towel. She won. 


Later that day I went to Cipriani for tea with my friend Chloe who I haven't seen for a number of weeks. We had a lovely meal and I headed back home at around eleven. When I got into my house Gabrielle was in the Drawing Room watching the television. I wasn't expecting her to be there. I asked "What are you doing here?" she told me how my father dropped her off on his way to the airport because she was bored but I wasn't in so she just stayed. Then she said "Kyle.. Will you stay at Mum and Dad's this evening?" I asked her why and she said "Well you're taking me to the airport in the morning anyway and they're both away as is Jackie so I'll be scared." I audibly exhaled and then asked "How much luggage do you have for New York?" She shrugged and said "Not a lot, only about 6 pieces." She was going for 3 days! I went and got the keys to my Porsche 4x4, the only car which would fit that amount of luggage in and left with Gabrielle. 


When we arrived at my parents house her luggage was piled on the landing. I asked what on earth she was taking and she said "Kyle I am moving there in a couple of weeks. I need to take all of this seasons bags and things with me... I shan't be taking much with me. I haven't been buying an awful lot of winter attire as I intend on purchasing it all when I'm over there." It seems my mother and father will be recieving a rather large credit card bill this month... Gabrielle and I watched some television for a little while before going to bed. In the morning I woke up at about 8 in order to get Gabrielle up, which I might add is a grueling task, and whilst she woke up and showered I went for a swim on the lower level. When I went back upstairs to get in the shower Gabrielle shouted "Kyle, is Jake here yet?" Jake is the chef. I said "No he's off today, Mum and Dad aren't here and you're leaving." She had a minor tantrum (early morning) and muttered something along the lines of "Well what am I supposed to eat then?!" 


An hour later she was ready and came downstairs dressed in a white flowy Donna Karan dress with a bow on the front and ruffles randomly around it, a Mike and Chris leather jacket, some Chloe boots which had leather straps wrapped around, a gold Hermes Birkin bag, a pair of Marc Jacobs aviators and various gold necklaces. I put the bags in the car whilst she sat and messed in her bag. About 5 minutes into our journey she exlaimed "The dog!" I asked what and she said "I've forgotten Bambi! She's in her bag sat in the hall way, go back!" I huffed and turned the car around. Once we were about 10 minutes away from the airport, with the dog, Gabrielle phoned the airport. I wasn't really listening but she said something like "Good Afternoon, I will be arriving at Heathrow within the next 15 minutes in order to catch a private jet however I will need assistance with my luggage so could you please have someone greet me upon arrival.. Thank you." Most would think this was ridiculous however it was quite a necessity. She had 6 items of luggage therefore meaning she would probably need 2 trollies, plus she has her dog and was wearing 5 inch heels. Surely enough, when we arrived there was someone there to meet us and manage her luggage. Gabrielle got out of the car kissed me on the cheek and then took Bambi out of her bag, tossed the bag on to the trolley which the man was currently piling luggage on to and then walked off on the phone with the dog prancing next to her. A moment or so later the man went in pursuit of Gabrielle with the two luggage trollies and I headed back home. 


When I arrived back home I took Maddox running and then went to the gym. I met Kelly and Ellie for a late lunch around 2 p.m and we decided to stay in at Ellie's that evening. We did so and her mother treated it to a couple of bottles of Krug which we more than happily consumed. Kelly stayed at mine that evening. I phoned my mother in the morning to see what she was doing. She told me she wasn't doing much and whether I wished to go shopping for my Christmas presents. Of course I wanted to do that! I put on some unworn khaki Jean Paul Gaultier pants which had black corset detailing on the front with a black Cavalli coat, a pair of black Vivienne Westwood pirate boots, my black diamond encrusted Chanel J12 and some biker Prada gloves. I drove to my parents house and my parents house in my Porsche and went inside. My mother was wearing a black knitted Karl Largerfeld tunic/dress with black tights, an open white/cream Burberry trench with gold buttons with some lace up patent Versace booties and a black patent leather Hermes croc skin birkin. She was on the phone when I got there, presumably to work saying "I do not understand what the problem is!" I mouthed to her "Who's driving?" and she help up the Bentley car keys which were in her hand, meaning she was. She put her black sunglasses on and motioned for me to go and get in the car. When she got into the drivers seat she said "Ugh I will be there in a minute!" and hung up the phone. She looked at me and said "I do apologise Kyle however I am going to have to nip into work, I will only be 5 minutes." It has been well over a year since I went into my parents' workplace with them. Usually I just nip to drop something off with to be given to them. I have no interest in their work. Yet, due to the curiosity I asked my mother whether I could do. She looked shocked and said "If you wish so Kyle." Once inside I walked past her various assistants desks and as she walked through was handed various papers and people said "Good Afternoon Camilla" whilst sheepishly rushing past her haha. One girl walked past and my mother said "Lucie, have you confirmed my meetings in Dubai and Moscow next week?" Lucie is one of her assistants, she looked a little shocked to see her and stopped dead and she said "Er, no, not yet Camilla-" My mother jutted in and said "Not yet? Have you had some sort of prior commitment? Judging by your appearance it seems you have been slacking all day, what are those things on your feet?" She looked down at the muddy red converse she was wearing with her skinny jeans and said "Shoes Mrs. McQuillan.." My mother replied "Oh that's what you're calling them is it? Well perhaps out of the work environment they may qualify as such things however, in here they are no more than hideous and not permitted. I expect 3 inches minimum. I suggest you go and confirm my appointments and inform me when you have done so." We walked off and I said into my mothers office and she picked up the phone. When she did so a girl walked in from behind me dressed in a pencil skirt, cream blouse and heels - permitted. She handed her some papers and then they had a discussion about something at the end of which my mother said "and Hannah" she stopped and turned back to facing my mother "I don't expect such fatuous mistakes to occur again, is that clear?" Hannah said "Yes Camilla. My apologies." My mother picked up her papers and said "We can leave now dear. Bond Street first?" I told her yes and whilst walking out I said "Marvellous display of authority mother, I now know where I inherit my skills from" she laughed and said "I believe the term is power bitch darling."


Whilst on Bond Street I didn't see much which I wanted for Christmas. I was looking for mainly jewellery and things as with clothes I could just buy them for myself at at anytime. Whilst in Gucci Gabrielle phoned me. Before we could have any sort of catch up she said "Kyle, I'm in Tom Ford and there is the most gorgeous fur coat for you! It's $28,000... Ring mum and ask her!" I said "Oh my goodness I know! I saw it when I was there last but thought I had best not. I'm with her now, one moment." I went to find my mother who had a man holding 3 pairs of shoes ready for purchase and said "Mum, Gabrielle's on the phone and she's seen a coat I like and I was wondering whether I could have it" she stared at me in confusion and then said "Kyle, since when have you asked whether or not you can purchase any items of clothing?" I said "I know mother however this particular item is £14,000..." She audibly exhaled and said "Can you not have it as an extra for Christmas, I am at a loss as to what to get you to open. I have your main present sorted.." I said "I know but Mum I want it now" she just tutted and said "I suppose so yes.. I suggest you try and keep the spending on the low for the next week Kyle." I told Gabrielle to purchase the coat and then walked away and said "She said she has my main present too what is it?" She said "I have no idea, do you know what mine is? Find out. Got to go, love you bye-" and she went. Despite the fact I had just got the coat via New York, I managed to get an outfit for that evening incase I went out. On the walk back to the car I said to my mother nonchalantly "What've you got Gabrielle for Christmas?" She looked at me and said "Kyle darling. I have made this mistake in the past and Gabrielle was rather unsurprised when she opened it on Christmas day. I shan't be telling you. You can also tell that sister of yours to not bother asking about yours as I won't tell her either."  There went that plan. 


My father met my mother and I for lunch at Scott's and then I went back to their house for the afternoon. At around 5 I went and collected Elliot from his house and took him back to mine. Kelly messaged us both asking if we'd like to go into London that evening and I said I would... It had been ages since I had been out! Me and Elliot messed about for a while and began getting ready at 8. Due to us not knowing we would be going out Elliot had no clothes with him and so went to my wardrobes. I had bought an outfit whilst out with my mother however didn't really feel like wearing it so I resorted the the wardrobes too and left the new outfit in it's bag on the floor. I ended up a little dressed down in a pair of slim seven jeans, a plain white Dolce & Gabanna Tee and a Gucci belt however made it a little more like clubbing attire with a pair of pointed Dior shoes and a square Alexander McQueen Scarf (folded into a triangle) which was an adaptation of the cruise Skull scarf however this one had paisley on along with my diamond Rolex. Elliot was wearing a shirt of mine from Burberry with some dark jeans and Alexander McQueen boots. Kelly phoned and said she was on her way round to collect us in her mother's car and she would be there in a minute. I grabbed a wallet, memberships for clubs and some money I found on the side and went and got into the car. When we got in Kelly's mum said "Hello gentlemen.. Are you looking forward to tonight?" We told her we were and she pulled three packets of condoms out of her handbag and gave each of us a box and said "Well I would hate to think I was aware of you having sex and didn't promote safety so here you are." Kelly kissed her mum on the cheek and said "Oh thank you mum, however I have a bag full" her mothers facial expression dropped and she said "A bag full? Kelly why is it necessary to have a bag full? How much sex do you intend upon having?" Kelly just said "I have no idea mother, that is precisely why I brought a bag full. It depends on how many people I meet as to how much I have" ... Her mother didn't speak for the rest of the journey. 


We walked straight into Maddox and saw Ellie at the bar who looked flustered and said "I have no condoms in my clutch.. Can I have some of yours?" She looked at all three of us and Kelly said "Here have these, my mother gave them to me just... Looks like I shan't be taking anybody back home this evening. Kyle will you be so kind as to accomodate me or shall I ring the Metropolitan and book a room?" I told her she could stay at my house on the condition she stayed upstairs - in the bed. Within minutes she was being stared at by men from all around the room as was Ellie which they loved of course. Elliot and I on the other hand were severely lacking in men. Almost everyone who was in the club that evening was with a female and those who weren't were staring at Kelly's breasts. When it got to about half past 12 I was reaching depression and so we decided to go elsewhere. We left the club, rather tipsy, and went to The Kingly Club. When we got inside we were immediately approached by a good looking male, he said "Well well, I haven't seen you two around in a while" I had no clue as to who he was but improvised "Indeed, it has been a while. Who are you here with?" I was hoping that by saying this he would point out somebody I knew. Instead he pointed to a table of equally good looking people who knowingly acknowledged us and said "Join us for a drink" Elliot said "Of course, we shall be over in a moment after nipping to the bar." We walked away and I said "Do you know who he was?" he replied "I have no idea however he is a potential sleeping partner for the evening so we shall go over..." We bought drinks and joined them at their table. From the gist of it I gathered that both Elliot and I had slept with the man who approached us yet the others knew of us also, therefore, out of sheer confusion I asked "I do apologise however I am a little confused. Who here have I had sexual relations with?" The answer. All five of them. I laughed and Elliot said "And me?" All bar one. It was rather amusing actually. 5 of our past sexual partners had managed to congregate before us yet neither of us knew a single name. Nevertheless, I went home with two of them that evening and Elliot went back with the one he hadn't slept with. By the time I arrived home I was slightly drunk and as soon as I opened the door I knew Kelly was home. There was a trail of clothes leading upstairs and I could hear faint noises coming from the upper floor. The men, who's names I still hadn't remembered, said "Kyle is there somebody else here" I said "Oh yes, there could be a few for all I know. It's my friend Kelly. Not to worry, she's on the third floor." Whilst they went to my room I went into where Kelly was to tell her I was home. When I walked in she was on top of the man still wearing her rather provocative bustier/corset along with her tights and suspenders making an awful racket. I said "Kelly dear, I'm back now" She stopped and said "Oh hello, did you and Elliot have a good night?" The man opened his eyes and lifted his head up, wondering why his pleasure had been momentarily paused. I replied "Oh yes it was rather amusing actually, Elliot and I went to The Kingly Club where we met a group of gentleman who-" the man butted in and said "Erm, hello?" Kelly said "Oh goodness, I forgot you were still in me" pleasant image "Kyle we shall resume this conversation later. I may come and see what you brought home once I am finished with him." It appears I wasn't the only not to know the name of the person I was sleeping with.


In the morning the two men woke up fairly early and woke me up also so I took Maddox out running for a couple of hours. When I returned Kelly was having sex yet again so I just sat downstairs on the phone and watched some television. Once Kelly had finished I expected to see the man who she had slept with the night before to come down the stairs however it was my receptionist who did. He merely smiled at me and said "Good Morning Mr. McQuillan. I have left your post in the study. Have a nice day" as though he had just greeted me upon entering the foyer. Kelly came downstairs not long after and joined me in the drawing room. We lazed around for a little while and then went for showers etc. I didn't do much for the rest of the day and I went and collected Gabrielle from the airport at about 4. Yet again she entered the car carring no more than her dog, blackberry and handbag whilst a member of airport staff managed her now reduced luggage. When she got into the car I said "Do you have my coat?!" She tutted and said "I knew there was something I had forgotten.." Half of me expected her to tell me she was joking and that it was in the boot, however the more intelligent side of me said she had genuinely forgotten. After showing no sign of a joke I said "Oh Gabrielle I have been looking forward to that all weekend!" She stared at me and said "Really? That, Kyle, is rather sad. Do you have nothing better to look forward to? Seeing your sister perhaps.." I said "Yesss... Seeing my sister who was bring me a new Tom Ford coat. You are actually useless" she just said "Don't stress darling, you'll need botox earlier and besides, I'm going back on Thursday. I'm dining with friends."  


When Thursday finally came around Gabrielle departed on an early morning flight whilst I got ready to go to Manchester for the night. She said she was only going for the day to meet with friends and go shopping followed by a night out and would be returning on Wednesday for university. I got ready and then packed a holdall and a suitcase and put them into my Audi R8 in which I put the destination Manchester. Following the four hour journey I pulled into the car park at The Lowry hotel and was subjected to road rage by a person pulling out next to me. I made no attempt of moving out of the way and instead stopped dead and turned to see Kayleigh sat next to Lee in his lambourghini smiling back at me. I swapped my miserable expression for a smile and put down the window. They told me they were going for lunch and shopping in the city centre and asked whether I'd like to join them. I declined. I was exhausted and we would most likely be going out in Manchester that evening followed by another late night the day after so I opted for an afternoon nap haha. 


When I woke from my sleep at about 5 o'clock I had 12 messages and 18 missed calls.. A few of the calls were from numers I didn't know of, two from my mum, one from Jackie (p.a) and other various people. I had a message from Gabrielle which said Kyle, who is Bert Obana... Something to do with America I presume. I have spent a whole conversation nodding x. The person she was referring to was Barrack Obama, you get used to her and manage to translate. The other messages were from Elliot, Kelly, Kayleigh and Lee. Elliot said I'm here. What are we doing tonight? Kelly said In bed? Kyle dear it's 2 O'clock in the afternoon x. Plus another one saying Do you plan on waking up any time soon? x Kayleigh had messaged to say The concierge has made us a reservation for 8. Ensure you're ready x and Lee the ever so simple My room for blowjobs? You see, I am so good even straight men crave oral sex from me haha. The other messages were from people asking whether I would be going out into London or whether I wanted to meet up (sex) and there was one from a friend asking whether I knew anyone he could sleep with in Rome haha. Somewhat random you may think. Not the case. I receive such messages on a daily basis. 


I got ready and then went to Kayleigh's room so that we could go out. She was ready which was the first and so we phoned everyone else to see whether they were or not. Elliot was waiting for Kelly to find a pair of shoes and Lee was waiting in the bar. We went downstairs and made the decision to leave as Kelly could be a while, I asked Kayeligh whether she would be coming with me or Lee and she said "That would be Lee darling... Less chance of death" I came back with "Through the driving perhaps yes, however the sheer lack of thrill in the journey may lead you to insanity." I did end up arriving there about 5 minutes before Lee and waited in the car park for him. We were dining at an Asian restaurant named Ithaca. The meal was delicious and afterwards we went to The Living Room lounge for drinks and to seek out strangers. 


Upon entrance Lee was straight to the females at the bar and the men were straight onto Kelly and Kayleigh. Meanwhile Elliot and myself went and bought everyone drinks at the bar and then took them to the table which Kelly and Kayleigh were sat at. When I sat down Kelly said "Which one do you prefer, him by the bar or him at that table?" I looked at both of the men who were staring at her and said "Oh certainly him at the bar. He has the good in bed look about him, as though he'd take charge" she said "I thought that however I needed clarification" After saying that she began sipping her drink and smiling at the man whilst completely ignoring the other. The man ended up joining us at the table and Kayliegh had disappeared somewhere. An hour or so later a footballer walked in which caused some controvesy within the group. Lee didn't like it because girls wanted to be with them rather than him and Kelly didn't like it because all eyes weren't on her. Therefore, due to this fact and the fact that Elliot and I had had no such look in finding anyone we decided to leave. Once on the street Kelly said "Where to?" I suggested the bar which was in The Hilton hotel and the man who Kelly was with said "You won't get in there at this time. It will be packed." Kelly laughed and said "Darling, you don't know us..." Quite right he didn't. We got to the bar and the clipboard girl barely acknowledged us and said "I apologise however due to the awards we have a number of high profile guests in the bar this evening and therefore there is a rather long wait." Kelly's man said "See.." Kelly merely tutted and lightly hit him. Lee stepped forward and said "Do correct me if I'm wrong, however it seems you were insinuating that we do not qualify as high profile guests." The girl lifted her head to speak but Lee continued "I on the other hand was under the illusion that we are, especially seeing as we are all in possession of one of these and that my friend here is accommodating in your penthouse suite. Now, do save me the hassle and get us a table." She looked at the Black American Express and said "Right away sir. Follow me." 


The hilton bar was much better than the previous lounge. The clientele consisted of better looking people and once Elliot had stood with his hand on my behind at the bar and kissed me the homosexuals came and introduced their selves. The majority of the people in the bar would be acceptable for sleeping with as everyone in there was good looking. Mark being no exception. He came over and asked whether Elliot was my boyfriend as they always did and I assured him he was not, I glanced over my shoulder and Elliot was also stood talking to someone haha, we then got talking and he told me he was from Leeds and also in town for the awards. He was dressed in jeans and a white open collared shirt which showed his rather nice (hairless) chest. I took him over to the table where Kelly was sat along with her man plus Lee and his girl. When I sat down each of our Blackberry's bleated simultaneously and we all read a message from Kayleigh saying Where have you gone? x. Kelly phoned her and Elliot joined us at our table. Whilst we all talked Elliot mentioned that his brother may be going to the awards in Liverpool as his girlfriend knows Leona or someone. I lifted my eyebrows about hearing of his brother and he said "Kyle, stop, that is sickening. I don't do that everytime you mention your father." I felt sick and said "Elliot, he is double your age and old enough to be your father" Elliot replied "That does not change the fact that he is exceptionally good looking and boasts a rather attractive physique-" Lee joined the conversation and said "Your mother is also undeniably gorgeous Kyle" Kelly then joined in and said "I agree with both of you, Kyle your dad - oh my word, he is like you only I can't have him so it makes him even more desireable yet Elliot your brother is also very nice. I may have to test his true loyalty to that girlfriend of his tomorrow..." Elliot said "Kelly you are not sleeping with my brother!" She said "Why ever not? I have before" new news, Elliot was repulsed, she continued "and besides you've slept with Kyle's sister so practise what you preach dear" I was now repulsed and suggested a change of subject. 


At about 12 Kayleigh rejoined the group and said "How bizzare, I just slept with a man who's apartment is in this building.. He's joining us in a moment." A few minutes later my friend Jack walked over and sat at the table and kissed Kayleigh, he then turned to the group and said "Oh hello there Kyle... My my, it is a small world." I used to be close friends with Jack when he lived in London, a person who both Elliot and I used to sleep with on a regular basis however on my last visit to Manchester I discovered his new taste for women. I had text him earlier in the evening informing him of my whereabouts however didn't receive a reply. It was now apparent why. 


I left rather early at about 2 and had a chauffeur from The Hilton take me and Mark back to The Lowry. Regardless of the fact I was to have another late night after the MTV awards, I was up until gone half past 4 with Mark and was therefore rather exhausted in the morning. I managed to get myself up for 2 and met Jack and Elliot for lunch and then a quick look around some of the shops before heading home at around 4 in order to get ready. I showered and then Lee ended up coming to my room and setting back my schedule and then I finally began getting ready. I wore a white Dolce & Gabbana shirt which had grey cuffs and collar with a silver skinny tie also by Dolce with a dark grey Burberry Prorsum cardigan (unbuttoned) some black Yves Saint Laurent pants and some new Prada shoes. I accessorised with a black belt from Dior, a wallet from Gucci, my silver diamond encrusted rolex and a silver David Yurman ring which had black diamonds. I went to Kelly's room where she was getting into a grey Lanvin dress which was made up of layers of material and a ruffle which ran down one side of it. Once in she put on a pair of silver and grey Chloe shoes and a necklace where diamonds were sown onto a piece of fabric which tied in a bow. She was ready, finally. We went downstairs in order to get a car. I wanted to drive however I knew for a fact I would be drinking and didn't like the idea of leaving my car in Liverpool overnight so reluctantly took chauffeurs. Whilst in the car I messaged Gabrielle asking when she'd be here. I recieved no reply. We arrived at the arena about 30 minutes before the show was due to go live on air. We dodged the red carpet and went inside and sat at our table more or less right next to Take That. Once we Lee had ordered some shots I recieved a message from Gabrielle saying Just landed x so I informed everyone that she may be late or not come at all. However, a couple of minutes later she came walking through looking gormless as ever with an enourmous Louis Vuitton Makeup case. She saw us and came over to the table. She was dressed in a black gothic style assyemetric dress with tights. All the attention however was drawn to her shoes, sky high Azzaro crystal encrusted heels, the crysals were all over the heel and also the actual heel of the shoe and all around the trim, along with this eye catching accessory Gabrielle was currently wearing my mother's wedding ring. The enormous Harry Winston rock is hardly ever worn by our mother as it is simply too large for every day use, she opts for the more modest engagement ring. I asked Gabrielle about the message she had just sent me informing me of just landing and she said "Yes dear, on the car park in a helicopter. I had such a nightmare. I showered before leaving New York and boarded the plane with wet hair and went to sleep for a few hours however I overslept and then had to have the air hostess help me to curl my hair. Thankfully she knew how so we saved a little time and then I changed and had to do my makeup on the helicopter. My luggage however was a different matter. It was a case of urgency so I got a contact number for the pilot and told Jackie to phone him to sort something out. I have no idea where it is now, it could still be in Liverpool airport for all I know..." She then shouted a waitress and said "Excuse me, could you possibly get me someone who's in charge of the VIP's please... Urgently." The show started with an appauling performance from Katy Perry which almost made my ears bleed however we just kept the drinks flowing. The VIP person came and Gabrielle shoved her makeup case at her and said "Can you ensure this goes to The Lowry please, I don't care how it gets there or how much it costs, have the hotel pay, deliver it yourself.. Just ensure it gets there tonight. Thank you." 


We hardly watched the show and instead mingled with the stars like Beyonce who remembered Gabrielle from a gala in New York, Pink, Take that and other friends who had also come to watch the ceremony. Elliot's brother had been there since the beginning but he couldn't find us and we were only graced by his presence half way through. Looking gorgeous as ever he sat at the table whilst more or less everyone except from Lee stared at him and his girlfriends ego expanded as she noticed the gawps. Gabrielle quickly diverted the attention when she began talking about Barrack Obama and said "Well when Elliot kindly informed me of who he was I was terribly confused as my friends said he was the first black president however I thought it was awful how they could just forget about Nelson Mandela like that" I shut my eyes and slumpted my head, she is beyond help. Elliot's brother, Maxwell, wasn't subjected to Gabrielle's stupidity often and said "Is anybody at home today Gabrielle?" Meaning inside her head, Gabrielle of course doesn't see ambiguous meaning behind his comment and said "Erm, my mum should be home. Why do you ask?" Beyond help. 


We continued purchasing drinks throughout the night and had little dances at various points. When Take That were performing Gabrielle got up to go to the toilet and did a little ballet spin which received "Woop's" from some men sat nearby, these encouraged her to do more and then blew them a kiss afterwards haha. The show ended with another appauling performance from Katy Perry and then Lee said "After party kids! Pulling time I believe it is co-named!" All the girls looked at one another and said "What?!" - They hadn't brought different outfits... Catastrophe. They stressed for a little while saying things like "We can't go in the same things, people think we can't afford new outfits and therefore don't belong!" And then after truthful, persuasive words from Lee, Elliot Maxwell and myself Gabrielle said "Actually you're right. This dress cost me - my mother- three thousand pounds and these shoes were a thousand so I highly doubt people will think we don't belong. Just stand with me girls and you'll all be fine haha." She was clearly joking, I was with Kelly when she purchased hers and that cost her two thousand nine-hundred so, for the first time, Gabrielle actually spoke sense! 


When we arrived at the afterparty at Albert Dock there were people there who too hadn't changed their outfits and given the fact the girls had been drinking all night they weren't quite as bothered. If they had been sober I imagine concierges would be rummaging through suitcases by now and loading things into helicopters. The venue was called Circo, it wasn't anything special and I imagine they could have found somewhere nicer however it was where the party was being held so I couldn't complain. The party was marvelous! Beyonce's younger sister, Solange, performed along with other various people and furthermore, the homosexuals were in abundance therefore I was delighted. 

After getting highly intoxicated I was taken back to the person who I deemed worthy of intercourse's apartment, which was conveiniently located on Albert Dock also. Just before leaving I overheard the person who Gabrielle was sleeping with say "I can't wait to rip that dress off you!" My initial thought was to turn around and threaten him however Gabrielle said "If you have three thousand pounds to replace it then by all means go ahead, otherwise please refrain from doing so... and also, my brother is stood about three feet from us and unless you have a desire for a broken nose I suggest you keep it to a whisper." Keep her on her toes, just the way I like it! Haha. 


In the morning, when the man who I learnt was called David had left for work I rummaged around the apartment for a while and then phoned The Lowry telling them to come and collect me and then whilst the car made it's way to Liverpool I went to the gym. There was someone in the gym who I recognised and thought he may have been a footballer for Liverpool Football Club due to his physique and gym attire. I fell to sleep on the journey back to Manchester and was woke by the driver when I arrived back at the hotel. I put my sunglasses on whilst I walked through the hotel in an attempt to hide my dark circles and when I got to my hotel room read my mesages. Gabrielle had left for the airport thirty minutes earlier along with Kayleigh, Maxwell and his girlfriend who's name I could not remember for the life of me and nor could she given the fact she too had called her 'Maxwell's girlfriend.' I phoned Elliot and Lee to see what they were doing, Lee didn't answer and Elliot told me he'd taken my car into Manchester to look around the shops and to go for lunch. Yet again, he hadn't asked to borrow my car, just as my friends always do. I was bored and decided I wanted to join him. I got a key which I had for Lee's room (I strategically acquired one of these upon my arrival) and let myself into Lee's room. Upon entrance I could her the undeniable sounds of sex (headbord etc.) however found his car keys and left. I adore Lee's Lambourghini - as does everybody else judging by the amount of people who stare. I met Elliot for lunch at a hotel, the food wasn't anything spectacular and then we went to do some shopping. Shops outside of London always seem so mediocre in comparison. Nevertheless, I purchased yet another trench, a scarf and some driving gloves from Burberry, 5 pairs of the same tracksuit bottoms from Diesel seeing as all of mine have gone missing (my friends and sister are the reason for that) plus 2 knitted jumpers and 4 hoodies also from diesel. Following this I bought 4 pairs of sunglasses and another Alexander McQueen scarf from Harvey Nichols. I recieved a message from Lee whilst shopping saying Do either you or Elliot have my car... I can't find my keys haha. I assured him I did and returned to the hotel with it an hour or so later. Meanwhile, Elliot went to his hotel to collect his luggage and I waited for him to bring my car back. I paid both mine and Gabrielle's bills and went and put my luggage into my car along with my shopping bags. Whilst I did so I recalled how my mother had told me to go easy on the shopping due to purchasing the coat... Oh well. We both knew it wasn't going to happen. 


I didn't do much for the rest of the week in London. I went ice skating with Elliot on the following Saturday of that week (8th) and when Gabrielle arrived I ended up taking on the role of spectator. Elliot is a former figure skater and Gabrielle, as you know, is a former dancer. The two compliment each other rather well. I didn't invite Gabrielle for this sole reason however Elliot must have text her asking her to come. The extent of my dancing on ice is spinning, skating on one leg and I can just about land a jump. Gabrielle can do all of these with great ease yet can perform lifts with Elliot due to her practically non-existant body mass. I spent the remainder of the time dodging falling children and being on the phone. I stayed in at Lee's that evening with Kelly and indulged in some caviar whilst talking etc. The next day Gabrielle and I went to Surrey to go out on our horses. Gabrielle had purchased an entire new outfit just for the occasion which consisted of Marc Jacobs riding boots, some Juicy Couture leggings and a Vivienne Westwood blouse. I on the other hand wore some Harrods Jhodpurs with a white Hugo Boss shirt, a Gucci neck scarf and some (unworn) Dolce & Gabbana boots which had shearling and suede on. When we got to the horses we began stroking them etc. and Gabrielle said "Wouldn't it be amazing if they had puppies together!" I looked at her and said "Gabrielle they can't-" I was overwhelmed by her stupidity and stopped mid sentence when she said "Oh... Have they had vasectomies?" I just told her that was correct and went riding. 


The following week was rather boring. I finally managed to read my ever expanding pile of post which consisted of nothing other than invites and the occasional other thing. I had invites to private islands, The Hamptons, New York, Florida, Istanbul, Mykonos, The Bahamas, Barbados.... The list went on. Along with these I got a typed letter from a man which read Dear Kyle, Due to the fact I wasn't lucky enough to recieve a phone call from you, as expected, and you weren't so kind as to exchange your phone number with me I realised mail was the only form of contact. I recalled the hotel which you lived in from the night we slept together after Vanilla. I'm sure you don't recall the fantastic evening which we shared together however, for me it was a night I shan't forget for quite some time and also one which I hope to do again. Hence this letter. Please don't hesistate to telephone me on... I anticipate your phone call Kyle. Yours, Marcus. He was quite right. I didn't remember him and I had no longing to. That one went into the bin. I also recieved an invite for a hotel opening in Dubai. It is part of the Atlantis hotel chain. I have accommodated in their hotel on Paradise Island a number of times, despite having a home there, and it seems that if you're willing to spend £21,000 per night on a hotel suite then you're worthy of an invite to the opening of their latest project. I would certainly be attending. My parents had also recieved an invite as had Elliot and his. 


Gabrielle officially moved to New York last Wednesday (12th) which was rather emotional. She gathered together the remainder of her luggage she was taking and put it into my parents Audi Q7 and got into my Porsche with me and her dog. She was excited to go as she was moving with her friends from university however I was rather depressed. I miss not seeing her everyday! She had chartered a rather large plane so that she and her 4 friends could all leave together.. This was the extent of her kindness. Whilst they were paying for their rented excuses for apartments, she has a rather spacious 2 bedroom condominum which boasts views of central park and is decorated in Versace's home collection. Furthermore she has a concierge at her service with room service and cleaners etc. however I highly doubt these girls will be complaining. If they wished to do so Gabrielle would merely tell them to go and take an ecomomy commercial flight haha. Upon our arrival at the airport my mother began to cry and Gabrielle hugged her and said "I know it may be sad knowing that your favourite child is leaving you, however don't be too upset you still have Kyle. I'm aware he's not a patch on me but if it's any consolation mother nobody is." One of Gabrielle's friends also arrived with her parents, she too was excited. The girls parents came over and thanked my mother and father for the chartering of the jet. Both of my parents looked at Gabrielle who was in the midst of a conversation and then said to the girl's parents "Oh, I wasn't aware we had. Nevertheless, I much prefer them to travel privately" Gabrielle turned around and said "Oh yes mother, I took it upon myself to have Jackie book a larger jet for us all. Hope you don't mind." She then said goodbye to my father and then before going into the airport said "Just remember, I'm only a short flight across the Pacific!" The girl's parents began laughing at Gabrielle's stupid comment and my father just said "Clearly Geography wasn't something which the royal ballet school taught well." 


The following Saturday I went out in London with Lee which was rather good... ish. We went to the usual places and Lee was chatting up girls something chronic, as usual. Yet, when he brings the attention of girls onto himself this inevitably means I too am going to get some. Some being quite an understatement. There was one girl who Lee bought a drink for and began talking to at the bar who called her friend over. They both already drunk and Lee invited them to come and sit with us. After a few minutes the girl was all over me like a rash, I was not impressed. I sat, whilst this girl groped and kissed me, staring at Lee making it clear to him just how infuriating this inposition was. Then, when the leech showed no signs of boredom I looked through my messages. The majority hadn't been replied to however I was bored and so I thought now was a good time. I had 7 asking me whether I was going out so I replied to each of them. All were gay bar Emma who probably wanted to sleep with me too. Thankfully Rod (an exceptionally good looking model) replied almost instantly saying I was just on my way there, see you in about 5. I was scanning the club like a hawk for the next five minutes and when I spotted Rod and his friends I stood up, almost sending the girl flying, and walked round the table and whispered in Lee's ear "You could have asked her to come over to you as opposed to molesting me. I'm sure you would have loved the company of two blondes, however being the swine that you are I'm also sure you loved watching me endure that." He laughed so I kissed his neck, wrapped my arms around him and groped him and then kissed his ear and whispered "Pay back is a bitch Lee... Look at their faces. Good luck getting yourself out of this one" I gave him another kiss on the neck and another grope and walked away. 


Rod is a model who features in campaigns for Dolce & Gabbana as well as walking on the runway for other various designers. This being his career it goes without saying that he is overwhelmingly good looking. I hadn't seen him since fashion week in New York a few months ago so I felt catching up was necessary. Upon going over to him he said "Looking rather nice this evening Kyle, I almost have an erection just from fucking looking at you!" I smiled and said "I have that effect on people Rod, you ought to be aware of that by now." The friends which he had brought with him were also rather good looking and they examined me from head to toe whilst Lee and I had a conversation. About an hour later whilst on the dance floor Rod said "Can you actually be bothered staying here or would you rather just go back to yours and fuck?" I couldn't be bothered and said "Let's go." 


We had an amazing night - and morning and I met with Lee and Ellie for lunch. When I walked into Nobu where I was meeting them Lee said "Ooo here he is... The bugger himself" I laughed and said "Do tell me, what damage control did you use for the situation I left you in Lee?" haha. The rest of the week was rather boring and I just did the usual things. I received a message from Gabrielle on Tuesday when she started work saying It's not too bad you know... Three hours later I received another saying My boss is a complete cow! and about 4 hours later another saying Ugh! I despise work! I was wondering how long it would take her however she exceeded my expectations... A mere day in the working industry and she despises it already. Certainly my sister. 


On Tuesday afternoon I decided I was bored of London and so had a flight booked for Dubai. The first available flight which Jackie found was departing that evening so she booked it. I then frantically packed my six cases and had my Jackie drop me off at the airport in my parents car. I shopped in the airport to take my mind off the flight, however seeing as it was the middle of the night not much was open. I consumed a couple of glasses of wine and then boarded the flight. I willed for myself to fall to sleep before we took off however I wasn't so lucky... Flying commercial certainly has it's disadvantages... For most. Due to enduring an overnight flight I was not in any mood to wait around for my luggage so I had Jackie arrange for someone to do it for me. Surely enough when I got off the plane there was someone there who approached me and said "Is it Mr. McQuillan" I told him he was correct and he said "Your assistant informs me that all of your luggage is branded with Louis Vuitton. Is this correct?" It was "And is it five pieces you have with you today sir?" I corrected him and told him it was six, he said "Ah, my mistake. Sorry. If you'd like to go and wait in your car outside I will be out within the next few minutes." I wondered how he intended on doing this and then he typed a code into a door and went behind the carousel. Presumably to get my luggage before it began going around the carousel. Just as he said, within a few minutes of being in the car the driver got out and began putting luggage into the boot. I gave the man 30 Dirhams (I have no idea how much money that is) and the driver took me to the hotel. 


There were a few people from the press outside of the hotel however I walked straight in and checked in. I was taken to my room which was absolutely amazing! It's in the lower levels of the hotel (below ground) and my bedroom and bathroom have floor to ceiling glass walls which look out to the underwater of the lagoon. Additionally I have a 24 hour dedicated butler so I am more than satisfied. On Wednesday I shopped all day purchasing various things and potential outfits for the Thursday evening. I also met up with a friend who currently lives in Dubai and had a somewhat spectacular evening. He also introduced me to a friend on Thursday morning over breakfast so I had yet another spectacular time haha. Whilst in the midst of intercourse I received a message which I read once I was finished. It was from Gabrielle and it said I'm here, come to my room x. I did so and her suite was more of less identical to mine and she too had a butler who was currently getting her some food. Upon asking Gabrielle how work was she said "Ugh! I had to use persuasive techniques just to get me here. I gave this speech about how the event will educate me seeing as it is a £13 million event to which A listers will be attending and nobody from the business has invites. I think I get given a little leeway due to my contacts and financial position so I dread to think what it must be like for the others..." Gabrielle and I went swimming with dolphins that afternoon which was amazing. Gabrielle said she wanted one, just like she has been doing every time we have swam with them since we were seven. My parents arrived at the hotel mid afternoon and we met them in the foyer. My father said "Do you both like your rooms?" We told him we did and he said "Yes well ours is far superior to yours ha" My mother told him to grow up and then he said "Well I have work to do so I shall see you all this evening. Camilla dear do you have the portfolio?" My mother went into her bag and pulled out a monogram Louis Vuitton document folder and handed it to my father. He placed it into his black leather Louis Vuitton laptop bag and asked whether I wanted to come with him. I said "Go where" as I thought he wouldn't be so stupid as to ask me to do anything work related with him however he was in fact asking me to do exactly that. I said "Why on earth would I want to go to work with you father?" He shrugged and said "Of course, how stupid of me. I just thought you may have at least the slightest bit of interest in the multi-million pound business which you stand to inherit" I told him he was incorrect and then said "Where is it that you're going anyway?" He said "To see the progress on the island" I looked at Gabrielle and we both looked at our parents and said "We have an island?" They both said "Yes" as though it was nothing and then my father said "You see Kyle. If you showed some interest you would know that we own one of the artificial islands which makes up the world here in Dubai." Gabrielle said "Dad do we still have the house here?" He told her we did and then she said "Do we have a car there?" We didn't and she said "Arr... Can we go and hire one please? It's been ages since I have driven and I want to go shopping with Kyle." My Dad said "If you pick up a little pace then we can go and get one now and then I can get to work. My mother went to her suite to do some work whilst Gabrielle, my father and I went to get a car. It was forty degrees almost so we wanted a convertible. We ended up getting a Lambourghini Gallardo in Grey. Whilst getting it I said "What car do you want next dad?" He told me he wanted a Tesla and then said "Why? What do you want?" I told him I wanted a Lambourghini and he said "Well if you ever get rid of that Jaguar which you insisted upon having and now never use then maybe we will see about getting you one." I was hoping he'd say that. 


When we were leaving the car place my dad said "I am torn as to who ought to drive this... I have no desire to pay a fine for a crashed car, which therefore rules both of you out, however Kyle is more likely due to his driving. Yet, a car like this ought to be driven to it's potential rather than crawling down the roads, doesn't it Gabrielle?" She took the keys off him and said "I believe the question you ought to be asking yourself father is whether or not you want your son to kill your daughter with his recklessness haha" she got into the drivers sat and I reluctantly got into the passenger and she said "and besides. I can drive this car to it's potential.." She accelerated and then stalled immediately. My father began laughing and said "Your argument doesn't have the same effect when merely verify the oppositions points dear... Have a good day!" After shopping Gabrielle insisted that she drove again despite the fact she was going to be rushed getting ready. We also got lost which didn't help and I directed Gabrielle saying "Turn left here" she went right and I said "Gabrielle you just turned right" she thought about it for a second and then said "Oh yes so I did." We went past the same place about four times due to her being unable to follow simple instructions and then finally said "You drive" and we swapped seats. When I sat in the drivers seat she said "Kyle could you go slow please" I said "Of course dear" then put the music on full blast and accelerated to more than a hundred. The people who were sat outside of the cafe we swapped seats at stared as we zoomed off and Gabrielle screamed haha. 


When we got back to the hotel Gabrielle was at a loss for time. She had already washed her hair thankfully however had an outfit to chose etc. which could potentially take hours. After I had showered I put on a Tom Ford suit and then recieved a phone call from my mother, she said "Kyle dear your father doesn't like the shoes he has with him. Could you come to our room with yours please." I went shoeless to my parents room with my Louis Vuitton trunk which contained shoes and accessories. I knocked on the door and my mother answered in her dressing gown with glamourous hair and makeup. I opened my case in the middle of the floor and my father said "Gordon Benett Kyle! How many have you brought?" He began searching through and then said "There's too many, which do you think?" I showed him a few pairs but he said no and then took a pair of Tom Ford ones which I was planning on wearing and said "I think I'll wear these" I said "No! I was planning on wearing those. I bought them in New York specifically for this outfit." He just looked at me and said "So.." I looked at him and said "I hate you" he laughed and then punched me on the arm and said "Come on then haha" he raised his fists and began bouncing from foot to foot I said "Father I wouldn't want to humiliate you therefore I shan't fight you" he hit me again so I too raised my fists and punched him on the arm. After yet another punch I did a little combination of punches and then my mother came out in her dress and said "Oh Harold do grow up." She was wearing a metallic grey/silver dress by Todd Lynn which had black fur on each shoulder and also extended over her shoulder blades and top of her back. With it she was wearing black tights, a pair of black Burberry shoes which were T-strap with black studs down, a Miu Miu clutch and her wedding ring for a change. Gabrielle knocked on the door and entered wearing a black figure hugging Herve Leger dress which had a few white tiger stripes (the only way to describe it), with a pair of white platformed Christian Laboutins and a Christian Laboutin clutch. All her hair was down over one shoulder and curled, she seemed flustered and said "Mum what jewellery do you have. I don't really like what I have on with this..." She opened one of the cases which was on the floor and held up a lace corset. She said "Mother is this mine?" My father said "No Gabrielle that is your mother's and I hope you do not wear such undergarments" Gabrielle turned up her top lip and looked at me then said "Mother you can't wear things like this... You're old!" My mother gasped and said "I most certainly am not.. I'm not even fifty yet Gabrielle!" I said "Yes mother however you are nearer to fifty than you are to twenty one. You should be wearing skin coloured bras by your age... Not provocative lace corsets." My father joined in and said "Well that's certainly going to spice things up in the bedroom isn't it" Gabrielle did a miniature scream in disgust and I told them I was going to vomit my father said "Shush Kyle. We're married! Imagine how we feel when we see endless stream of people flooding out of your hotel rooms. Kyle you must be nearing on sleeping with the entire population of London-" my mother said "Let's change the subject.. Gabrielle what do you want of mine?" Gabrielle said "Can I wear your engagement ring?" My mother handed it to her and my Dad looked somewhat confused, Gabrielle noticed this and said "Well if you bought me my own twenty something carat Harry Winston ring then I wouldn't have to use this all the time would I?" He said "Gabrielle I got you one from Tiffany's for you 18th in which the carats total 42. You never wear that..." She didn't say anything because she knew he was right haha. I put on my Hermes watch and some different Tom Ford shoes and we all left to go to the party. I walked with my father to the lift whilst my mother and Gabrielle compared shoes etc. and my father said "Kyle, although I don't approve of your sex life in any way what so ever, I must say that it is one of the best I have heard of. I believe it is equal to, if not better than, that of the character Samatha Jones" I laughed and then he grabbed my bicep and squeezed it causing a rather immense pain and said "If you ever repeat that to your mother I will thrash you" I grabbed his arm and twisted it up his back and then my mum saw us and said "Will you two behave yourselves. Harold you're supposed to be an adult" She walked between us both and when she was talking to my sister my father punched me behind my mothers back and then winked at me.


Whilst in the lift to go up to the party Gabrielle went over to my Dad and said "Daaddd... Will you buy me a Harry Winston please?" then I went over to my mum and hugged her, she said "What do you want?" I nonchalantly said "A lambourghini" she said "No.. I want an Aston Martin first." I said "Mumm... Dad already has one!" She said "He has a Dbs, I want a Db9..." I stood upright and behind me I heard Gabrielle kiss my dad and say "Thank you Dad." The doors opened to the lobby and all four of us stepped out to be greeted by a waiter who handed us a flute of Dom Perignon. My mother and father saw somebody who they knew and went over whilst Gabrielle stood and looked around the room. Behind us we heard a girl say "Gabrielle.." we both turned and it was Holly Branson with her brother Sam. Gabrielle and Holly hugged and Gabrielle said "I've not seen you for ages! How the devil are you dear?!" Sam and I had a little catch up as, it had in fact been ages haha. Their enormous wealth wasn't conveyed through the outfit choices of the pair. Sam was wearing a hideous red shirt with a suit whilst Holly wore an ok dress yet spoilt it with leggings and heels which were probably only about an inch. We stayed with Sam and Holly for quite a while and at one point an unmistakable Manchester accent behind me said "Well we do get invites to all of the good parties don't we?" I turned around and Agyness Deyn was stood looking absolutely gorgeous in a blue dress. I had been out clubbing with her whilst in New York for fashion week due to us having the same friends. I laughed and she said "It's an amazing party isn't it!" I agreed and then she introduced me to her feyonce, who was very pleasant indeed. 


At one point of the night there was a firework display which lit up the whole sky. It was superb! Gabrielle was stood with her sunglasses on watching and looked like a complete idiot haha. Through the course of the night I spoke to Lily Allen, Mary Kate Olsen and my mother introduced me to Kylie Minogue who she was stood with and other various people who weren't in the public eye. I have no idea what time I went to bed at, however when I did so I was rather tipsy from the amount of champagne I had been drinking. After having been with Agyness Deyn for the majority of the night Gabrielle took a jet with her back to New York in the morning and my parents both went their separate ways, my mother to Los Angeles and my father to St. Tropez, for work. I have remained in Dubai alone however Lee flew out today and he said Elliot may join us at some point. 


I shall be in touch.

Much love. 

30 October 2008

My last few weeks in Paris.. 29th October


Last Saturday (the 11th) I was awoke by thumping on my door. I climbed out of bed, making no effort to be quiet so I didn't wake the man who I had slept with the previous night and whilst thoughts of being greeted by men whom I had slept with and not phoned as promised went through my mind, I opened the door and Kelly came charging in, dropped her bags and went running towards the bedroom, whilst doing so she was shouting "Jesus Kyle, have I just woke you from a coma?! I am bursting for the toilet and have been banging on your door for the past 5 minutes-" I began closing the door and it was pushed back towards me whilst a familiar voice said "Excuse me, who do you think you're closing the door on Mr. McQuillan?" It was Ellie. I bent down and kissed her on either cheek and she said "Marvellous to see you dear, now where do you intend on taking me to this evening. I simply must have an amazing night seeing as I am only here for the one." I was shocked by this, both due to the fact there was three luggage trollies outside my door and also that she loves Paris, she said "I know dear, a complete inconvenience however it's my little sister's thirteenth birthday tomorrow and my parents have taken her out of boarding school to take her to Dubai for presents. I simply must go with them to nurture her and also ensure she is just as much of a brat as I. I haven't seen her since the summer, no great loss.. She's a swine at times... Nevertheless, Kayleigh will be joining me on Tuesday, the approximate time of suicide, to save me so it shall be less of an endurance." She went and ordered some room service and I heard the toilet flush followed by the powder room door opening. I heard her say "Oh good morning, nice to meet you, I'm Kyle's friend Kelly." He replied in French and she said "Oh bloody hell, I knew that was going to happen." She came out of the bedroom and said "Kyle, why is it that you always pick the ones who speak foreign? If him being gay was not enough, I can no longer seduce him with words.." I didn't reply to this and merely asked how she was. She told me she was fine and how she had no longing to return to London as it was boring her, therefore she was staying until further notice. 


The room was chaotic, Ellie was on the phone to her mother, room service had arrived and the bell boy had began taking cases off the trolley and leaving them in my room. Kelly noticed this and said "Excuse me, I am not staying in this room, this luggage needs to be elsewhere." He asked which room was hers and she said "I have no idea, please bore somebody else with your questions and inform me when you have found your answers. Thank you." She handed him €10 and closed the door. Just as the three of us sat down to eat breakfast somebody knocked at the door again. I got up and flung it open saying "Yes?" My mother walked in and said "Kyle that is no way to greet someone, I have brought you up better than that." I was rather shocked to see her and tied my gown so that my underwear and half naked body was no longer visible. She walked into the lounge and said "Oh good morning girls! When did you arrive?" They had a little conversation and then she said "I'm not staying Kyle, I have a meeting in a little while. I fly home again this evening. You must come back to London soon, your father and I want to show you the house we're contemplating making an offer on in Knightsbridge." My parents are selling their current home in London and hoping to move to somewhere bigger, why? I have no idea. I no longer live there, Gabrielle is moving to New York mid November yet they wish to purchase an 8 bedroomed home (that said, 3 are for staff.) Just to my luck, in the middle of our conversation, the man whom I had slept with the night before walked out of the bedroom. He walked out wearing his pants from the previous night whilst still buttoning up his shirt. My mother stopped talking and looked at him with disgust. My eyes widened and I looked at Kelly in horror whilst biting my bottom lip. He smiled at my mother and said "Good morning" in English, she said "Hmm, it was until thoughts of my son's sexual addiction were verified." She turned and looked at me and the man said "Au Revoir" and left. 


It was awkward for about 5 minutes and then my mother stood up and went to the bathroom. I looked at Kelly and Ellie who were laughing and said "She will have me in rehab before long, she always manages to catch me out." Then I realised something and said "Just to add to her theory, there is 3 box's of 18 condoms on the side in the bathroom." Kelly said "Oh I know, I took some. I had none left in my purse." My mother returned, her outfit, which consisted of a grey Karl Largerfeld dress, grey tights, burgundy Rupert Sanderson shoes and an Alexander McQueen bag, made her seem in more of a mood than she actually was; she said "It was nice seeing you girls, good bye Kyle, I shall speak to you in the week." She kissed me on the cheek, Kelly and Ellie said "Good day Camilla" simultaneously in an attempt to lighten the mood (failed) and she left. Upon her departure I said "Well that went well.." Kelly laughed and said "Kyle do not worry about it. My parents are under the illusion that I am a prostitute. For some inexplicable reason my mother decided to read her credit card bill for the first time in goodness knows how long and saw the amount of hotels which I have been paying for. She knew it was for sexual reasons and so didn't question that however she was a little worried about the frequency and asked whether I was doing it for fun or a career. Well I was so appalled that she had the nerve to say such a thing that I went in a mood and she took me shopping to make up for it, she hasn't mentioned it since. That said, this week I have been staying at your house so there will be no hotels." She smiled. I asked where she had got my keys from and she said "Oh Gabrielle gave them to me, I have my own set too but they're in my room somewhere and I cannot be bothered looking. I have returned them to Gabrielle now though, I think she may be staying there a little, I am unsure." I was completely unaware that she had a set of keys for my house or that she had been staying there whilst I had been away. I asked how many people she'd taken back there and she looked at me as though I was stupid. I was in a way, that was such a ridiculous question to ask "You expect me to have kept count dear? All I can tell you is that one of them is a receptionist in your hotel oh and that man from Ralph Lauren, you know that girl who I went to school with well she's checked into The Priory now because..." I let her talk to me about that girl for a few minutes and I mumbled at the right time so she thought I was listening - I wasn't. 


Once we'd finished breakfast Kelly stood and told us that she was going out for a while when I asked where she said "Kyle darling, I am in Paris I have people to catch up with" Ellie then said "Will it be females or males?" She smirked and said "Well Ellie dear, that depends on whether the male in question is worth it and whether or not the female is good looking" I'm sure this wasn't where Ellie was heading with the conversation. I complained about Kelly's departure and said "Oh Kelly, I hoped me and you could spend the rest of the morning in the bedroom..." She said "Oh well I am sorry dear, I expect I shall be here for a while so there's plenty of time, Ellie's here all afternoon.. Sleep with her." I looked at Ellie and smiled, she put down her croissant and said "No.. I have a boyfriend now." Me and Kelly looked at one another, looked back at Ellie and simultaneously said "So..." She sounded like my mother and said "Kyle no, I cannot do that" Kelly picked up her bag and said "Ellie dear, don't be ridiculous, what he doesn't know will not hurt him and besides, I have seen the man and I find it highly unlikely that the sex is as good as what you will experience with Kyle... I shall see you in a few hours." As soon as the door slam Ellie looked and me and just said "Despite the fact that she is right, the answer is no, end of discussion." I went and had a shower and then Ellie and I went to the spa. Afterwards, whilst Ellie went to get her hair done, I went to the gym and by the time I got up to my room it was almost 5. I phoned Kelly's mobile when I got up to my room and asked where she was, she told me she was back in the hotel and she'd come to my room. I watched telly whilst awaiting a knock at the door and then I heard something land on the dining room table. I jumped up and screamed (or the male equivalent) and span around and Kelly began screaming and jumping on the spot she was saying "What what?!" I stopped shouting and said "Jesus Kelly, are you trying to give me a heart attack! ...What on earth were you screaming for?" She managed to stop screaming and said "I thought you'd seen a mouse or something!" I asked her how she'd got into the room and she said "We have adjoining ones, mines through that door and down a little hall way." My tone changed from hysterical to clam as I realised, that was the room Gabrielle and I used to share when we were younger and my parents would stay in the one I was in. Gabrielle and I used to sneak down there in the middle of the night and go into my parents room and drag my father's jeans out and my mother's handbags and take money haha. 


Me and Kelly ended up having much needed intercourse and then we began getting ready. Once I had showered the hairdresser come to my room and trimmed my hair then I put on a pair of metallicy black slim fit pants from Dolce & Gabbana with a black shirt from Gucci, a beige and leopard print cardigan from Alexander McQueen - which I left unbuttoned, a black leather and gold chain Gucci belt, a gold Rolex and some black Gucci ankle boots. I grabbed my wallet, Blackberry and condoms and phoned Kelly to see if she was ready. She told me she almost was and I had to go and zip her into her dress. I walked down the hallway and opened the door; she was stood there in sky high Burberry prorsum curved heel shoes, stockings, suspenders, lace underwear and matching bra. She was on the phone when I got in there so I took the opportunity to ring Gabrielle. She answered the phone and said "I was wondering when you were finally going to ring... How are you?" we had a little catch up and in the middle of the conversation she interrupted me and said "Ugh, what has happened to the water.." I heard her open the kettle and she said "That is repulsive, I am going to vomit" I asked what and she said "I boiled some milk in the kettle earlier today and it all seems to have dried inside and the water I have just boiled has gone cloudy with floating milk bits in." I heard her pour the water away, open the bin and drop the kettle in, she then bellowed "Jack-jack!" a.k.a Jackie, my father's p.a who does everything for us "We need a new kettle" I presume my father shouted her as she said "because father the other one had dried milk inside and it made the water disgusting... How else should I boil milk?... I have no idea where pan's are kept and I don't know how to turn the stove on. Anyway Kyle.." She also attempted to boil 4 eggs at the same time in the kettle. It failed of course. Once Kelly had finished her conversation she signalled for me to do likewise. I did so and helped her into her black fitted Giambattista Valli dress, she grabbed condoms and her clutch and we went to get Ellie. She opened the door wearing a dark grey sparkly Marc Jacobs dress, a black and silver Erickson Beamon cuff and enormous Harry Winston diamond ring which she got on her 18th (it set her parents back a mere fortune) with some Giuseppe Zanotti jewel embellished heels. Finally, we were ready. 


Upon entering the club we went straight to the bar, I bought us all some drinks and then we went and got a table. After an hour or so of talking with one another and being bought drinks by random people one of the Laslau sons came over (I can't remember which one.) His father owns a number of tourist attractions including Madame Tussaurds and a number of theme parks. I think he was on drugs and came over saying "Kyle! Where have you been? Oh and you Kelly Moss.. I was wondering when I'd hear from you next." The alcohol she had been consuming had gone straight to her head so she smiled and said "Well it would have been longer had you not ran into us here tonight" he appeared to not have heard her and punched me in the arm - I had to control my drink so that it did not spill on Ellie - and said "So who's your other friend here?" Ellie looked at Kelly and mouthed "What's he like?" Kelly very audibly replied "He's ok in bed, he uses what he has - which I might add, isn't much - to it's fullest" he attempted to but in and said "Oi Kelly -" She looked at him and said "Why are you talking?" he shut up and she turned back to Ellie "but he was a penis and boasted about his wealth all the time and then offered to take me shopping and refused to buy me a £1000 dress, I handed over my card and paid and he was embarrassed. That being the reason for his attitude now.. Don't worry though, just sleep with him, don't give him your number and you will not have any of that trouble." Ellie went and me and Kelly went to the bar. People were continuously approaching her and asking to buy her drinks and she just looked at them said "No" and turned back to me, girls were staring at me from all over the room and a few approached however I merely told them to go and inform there gay friends where I was stood. 


Me and Kelly were having an amazing time. A couple of hours had passed since Ellie had left us and me and Kelly were undoubtedly drunk. I was past caring whether I went back to the hotel with anybody, although a few men had approached I was having too much fun with Kelly to leave her to risk having good sex when I knew I would certainly have good sex with her. People were still approaching her and she just told them no, the occasional one put up a fight and I recall her saying to one man "You need to spend some time in a mirror my friend, clearly what you see is distorted... People who look like me do not sleep with people who look like you." It continued like this until  about 3 when we finally decided to leave. This was when the main event of the night commenced. We walked for about a minute and then I took out my phone to ring for a car. Being drunk, I wasn't functioning properly and dropped my Blackberry, when it hit the floor and broke into pieces I accidentally kicked it and it went skidding across the floor and down a grid. I turned around and looked at Kelly who found it rather amusing and went into her bag to find her own phone. Only, she didn't find it. She retraced her steps and remembered last having it in the bathroom and must've left it on the basin whilst she washed her hands. The smile soon went from her face. I asked whether she had any change so that we could use a pay-phone, she merely replied saying "Since when have I carried change with me Kyle?" The answer was never and nor did I so we set off walking, finding the situation a little amusing. After about 5 minutes any humorous factor had been eradicated as the light drizzle began and the cold reached my bones, Kelly was complaining of the excruciating pain her shoes were causing in the arch of her foot and so she removed them and got on my back. I also had to remove my cardigan and give it to her to wear. So there we were, Kelly on my back with her shoes in hand wearing my cardigan over her dress in the drizzle, wondering the streets of Paris at half past 3. Classy! I decided to take a shortcut that I knew of through a wooded area, despite the fact Kelly begged me not to. Kelly had tightened her legs around my waist due to her being scared and at one point screamed at the top of her voice, I span on the spot to see if anything was behind us and slipped in some mud, falling side wards (with Kelly on my back) and landing on the floor. It was so painful. I had no hands to cushion the fall and on the way down Kelly repetitively screamed. My face was literally pressed against the floor and Kelly still had her legs around me in a piggy-back position. I pulled myself up off the floor as did Kelly she stood up and said "You idiot! Look at the state of me!" She had mud and leaves in her hair, mud up one side of her dress and on her knees plus a rip up her tights; I had mud right up one side of my body and on my knees and it was smeared on my cheek and in my hair. I shouted back at Kelly "Look at the state of me! This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't started screaming!" We looked ridiculous, we were arguing in the middle of some woods, she had no shoes on and was stood in the mud with leaves in her hair and ripped tights, she shouted back "Well I wouldn't have been so scared of everything had you not lead us through this mud trail! Now carry me to the road where ever that may be" I bent down and picked her up. I carried her over my shoulder right to the road and she moaned all the way. Upon reaching the footpath we spotted an open cafe, Kelly put her shoes on and went running in screaming "Help, help!" She looked as though she'd just been raped or something so I followed her in and explained the situation to the Frenchman. Kelly then gave him €25 to get us through to the Ritz and we told them we needed a car immediately. In the light Kelly looked even worse, her makeup was either not there or in places it shouldn't be and she had a cut on her leg, mud had replaced the black leather on my shoes that had never been worn before and I looked dreadful.


Due to the cold our joints had seized up and so Kelly and I waddled into the hotel. Everyone stared at us and when we passed the concierge I said "Phone (Ellie's room) and tell her we're back, also have some hot chocolate sent to my room." It took us forever to walk to my suite and when we got there Ellie was stood at the door. When she saw us she bent over in a fit of laughter. Kelly and I had our shoes in our hands and could barely walk, our faces were expressionless and I ignored Ellie and opened the door. Ellie couldn't speak for laughing and Kelly said "This is no laughing matter Ellie!" Kelly and I went straight into the bathroom and turned on the bath and shower. I looked in the mirror and I looked dreadful. I had never seen myself look so bad in years. Kelly I stood and undressed and Kelly began crying when she looked in the mirror because she looked a mess. Ellie was still laughing. I got in the shower and Kelly got in the bath. I was so cold the hot water stung. As I washed my hair bits of twig and leaves were falling out it was disgusting. After a good 10 minutes shower I got out and looked at Kelly, she said "Turn the shower back on. This is no use. Look at the water." It was dark brown and there was leaves in it haha. She stood up and walked and got into the shower. I dried myself and put on a bathrobe and Kelly did the same. We went and got a drink of hot chocolate which room service had left in the room for us. Kelly and I looked respectable again now although Ellie seemed to unable to wipe the image from her mind as she erupted into a fit of laughter each time she attempted speaking. At about 4 Kelly and I got into bed and went straight to sleep.


When I woke up in the morning and got out of bed to go to the powder room I felt the effects of the previous night. It was in no way a hangover, instead every inch of my body ached and I was walking hunched. I got back into bed and phoned the spa to book a massage when Kelly woke up and mumbled, book me one too and then groaned as she rolled over to face me. We began talking about the previous night and then Ellie knocked on the door. I went and opened it and she came running in in her pyjamas. I went back into the bedroom and joined both of them in bed. I felt like a fifteen year old again when I used to do this with Gabrielle in the very same bed, talking about who we'd kissed etc however this morning we all sat and laughed about the events a few hours prior to the conversation. It was apparent that the cause of the major catastrophe - Kelly's screaming - was due to a bird she heard in the bush and mistook for a rapist... Blonde I feel is all that is needed to be said. Ellie went and collected her many bags from her room and then came and said good bye before she departed to catch her jet to Dubai. Kelly and I spent the rest of the day in the spa and then dined in the hotel in the evening. 


Throughout the rest of the week Kelly and I shopped, met up with friends and had a considerable amount of sex, with one another and also with people from our contact lists. We both had phones sent out to us the next day to replace the ones we both managed to cause great inconvenience by losing. We didn't go out clubbing all week and found people to sleep with via other means, that was until Friday.. On Friday evening we decided we were bored of staying in and would go and have a few drinks in the bar in the hotel. I was wearing a white shirt from Gucci, a short grey fringed scarf which I had bought from Gucci that week, a black cardigan from Burberry Prorsum, some Armani Collezioni pants, a pair of Bottega Veneta shoes, a Gucci belt and my black ceramic Rado watch. Kelly was wearing a midnight blue bustier pencil skirt dress by Redux which she had tailored that afternoon with a pair of satin Bally heels and a Christian Laboutin clutch which had black and blue feathers on. Kelly and I sat at The Hemmingway Bar and ordered some drinks, I had a Martini and Kelly had a Cosmopolitan, we also ordered some caviar... The bill came to €98 which was a pleasant surprise. The barman was lovely and when I told him my room number upon which to charge the drinks he said "Ahh, VIP I see Mr. McQuillan.. In that case allow me to make you and your beautiful friend here a special drink." Apparently it was on the computer that I am a friend of Camilla's and that I checked in here with her, it proved to be quite an advantage as the cocktail which was made for us was delicious and not on the menu. We continued drinking these €28 cocktails for the majority of the night until we moved into the Bar Vendome where a man sent a bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal Brut to our table for Kelly. The gentleman who sent the champagne was a little older than us, dark haired, well dressed and sat with a group of equally good looking men. Although the champagne wasn't for me I had a glass anyway, it wouldn't have been any great loss if they got offended and decided to not send any more, but it appeared not to bother them. Once we'd finished the bottle a waitress came back over to our table and told us we'd been asked to join the men, we did so and introduced ourselves. The group were all business men (I switched off when they began telling us) and were all around 27, some from France and some from England. The man who'd sent the champagne was called Will and asked whether Kelly and I were siblings, when I told him we weren't he began apologising as he thought he had been sending my girlfriend drinks; we assured him that we weren't and that we were merely good friends to which he said "How can two such good looking people just be friends?" Kelly and I laughed and then he said "So Kelly, did you enjoy the champagne?" She said "Why yes of course, however if you were under the illusion that sending me a bottle of Louis Roederer would get you somewhere or impress me then you are mistaken" the whole table was looking at her "If you had intentions of moving forward from drinks to something perhaps a little more intimate, you have gone the wrong way about it. I am worth an awful lot more than a €270 bottle of champagne and the fact that you failed to notice that has a number of negative connotations, it is those which make me a little hesitant towards going any further with you." The man's friends were sniggering and Kelly sat staring at him awaiting a response. If he failed to deliver an adequate one she wouldn't go further with him as this meant he wasn't man enough and would probably be unsatisfactory in bed. I know this girl inside out haha. Will seemed a little stumped at first and then cleared his throat and said "Well how about I try and better my poor attempt of seduction in somewhere a little more lively. A few of our friends are in a night club and we were going to go.." Kelly smiled and said "Marvellous, this Piano playing is beginning to age me, let's go gentleman." She didn't even let them finish their drinks. 


Kelly and I took a minor detour via the concierge who would ring the club and get us on the list and then met the group of men at the front of the hotel where they were waiting for cars. The valet told them their cars would be a minute or so and then when me and Kelly walked outside the valet said "Good evening, will you require a car this evening?" I told him immediately if possible and one pulled up instantly. He said to the men "Apologies however VIP's are our priority." Kelly smiled at them and we got into the car. We instructed the driver to drive around for a while so that we didn't arrive before them. When we pulled up at the club Will and his friends were stood in line in the freezing cold. Kelly walked past them towards the front of the queue and said "You're second attempt hasn't got off to a great start I must say Will" I signalled for him to get out of line and follow us. When we got to the doorman I said "Kyle McQuillan and Kelly Moss" he checked the list for our names and lifted the rope, I then said "also, could you let these in, they're with us" the doorman looked them up and down and then, after not speaking for a few moments, nodded. Whilst making our way to the bar Will tapped me on the shoulder and said "Kelly, how did you get yourself on the list... I feel it would be good if I was able to do so in the future" I laughed and said "Will,unless you're exceptionally good in the bedroom, this is all you will get with Kelly and if you are, there is a slight chance you might get a phone call in the future. Make the most of it." Kelly then beckoned me over and Will followed. We took a seat at a table and ordered some drinks, I was having Martinis again and Kelly was having champagne cocktails. After an hour or so of sitting around Kelly and I went to the dance floor, before I left I asked Will to find out if any of his friends knew of anybody homosexual; apparently he did. When we returned, a little more drunk than when we left the table the rest of Will's friends were sat there. They too were all good looking. Everybody stared at Kelly and I as we sat down and Will introduced us to everyone, thankfully there was one gentleman in particular who stared at me and smiled and kept on doing so whilst I ordered shots for the entire table. Goodness knows why. I had drank enough, however regardless of that, as requested shots arrived for everyone. We all drank them and afterwards shudders went through more or less everybody's bodies although it didn't taste all that bad, there was no doubt about the fact that it was strong.


After an hour or so I had moved to sit next to the person whom I correctly presumed was gay and Kelly was awfully loud and hyperactive due her consumption of alcohol, because of this almost all eyes around the table were on her. At one point she went to the toilet and left me talking to the gay bore... I spent the entire conversation looking over his shoulder pretending to listen when I was in fact people watching, it was a lot more exciting than this dull conversation. My Blackberry began ringing for the hundredth time of the evening, usually I just ignore it as it's usually people saying "Kyle will you be coming out in London tonight or Hey Kyle, I'm bored would you like to come round..." Invites for good sex were torture at this moment in time however it was Kelly who was ringing. I answered and she said "This gorgeous man just pulled me onto the dance floor and said something to me but I don't know what... Translate if you'd be so kind" she placed the phone to his ear and he repeated what he had just told Kelly, I laughed and she said "What did he say?" I was grinning at this point and I told Kelly "he said: I have drawn the conclusion that your friend over there is gay.. Would you care to introduce us? He then asked whether I was the person in question." I was waiting for a moan seeing as this person was for me and not her however she said "Excellent! Make sure he doesn't leave in the morning then I can sleep with him too. I'm a little bit jealous Kyle, he seems more fun than all Will's group of friends put together... Would you like me to bring him over?" I told her I would meet her at the bar. When I got to the bar Kelly was sat on a stool next to a muscular tanned man whilst speaking to the barman who translated it into French and told the man; hen I arrived at the bar and stood next to Kelly the barman was currently asking the man if he would sleep with Kelly in the morning, he laughed and said "Well I'm gay however in certain cases, when the female is exceptionally good looking, I can make an exception." I told Kelly what he had just said and her face lit up, she turned around and hugged the man then said "Let me buy you a drink.. Kyle translate." I did so and he asked for a beer she tutted and muttered something along the lines of I'm not buying that and instead ordered 2 martinis and a cosmopolitan. He was pleased and grateful for Kelly's more sophisticated drink choice and asked me to thank her.. I felt like an interpreter. Kelly thankfully answered her phone and began slurring something down it whilst I introduced myself. The man was called Jean and was a personal trainer in Paris, he had brown hair, bright green eyes and was wearing a white v neck t-shirt (hairless and muscular - my preference) with a scarf and jeans, he was here with a few of his clients and people from work and asked if I wished to join them, I said I would. Whilst I was walking off Kelly grabbed my arm, I turned and she groaned "Kyle! You cannot possibly leave me to go back to that boredom on my own whilst you go and share laughs with Jean and his table.. Look at how fun he is.." I turned around and Jean was stood with a crowd of girls dancing with his Martini glass in his hand he saw me and winked and then signalled for me to follow him to his table. Kelly said "Ask him if any of his friends are straight and single" I did so and he told me that more or less all of them were, she smiled and said "Looks like I shall be joining you Kyle... Let's go!" She groped Jean's bum and then danced her way across the dance floor to his table. It was completely different to the table we had just come from, all the men were muscly well dressed and groomed and were all, if not already, well on their way to becoming drunk; suddenly Kelly and myself didn't look so bad. Kelly immediately took a liking to a blonde man who was wearing an open shirt with a vest and rosary beads, he had the physique of a swimmer which simply made him even more appealing. Kelly and myself were introduced to everyone and then Kelly said "Sit next to me dear, I will be requiring your assistance" she walked over and sat down next to the blonde man and said "Bonnnjouurrr" he laughed and said "Babe, there's no need, apart from you two I'm the only English person sat at this table. I'm Liam" she replied "I'm Kelly, this is Kyle. So Liam, do you have a girlfriend?" he told her he didn't and she said "Oh you just get better and better don't you. I can't wait until later. So what brings you to Paris?" I was currently listening to their conversation and he told her that his parents are divorced, his father lives in Perpignon whilst his mother lives in Cheshire; he attended school in England and then went to London school of economics studying law and is in his final year of his course working at his father's firm in Paris. I overheard her give her very short description of herself whilst I did likewise. Jean worked in a gym called Usine 3 days a week and the rest of the time did private work for certain individuals, such as Liam. 


We didn't talk for much longer before spending the rest of the night on the dance floor. Kelly was dancing with her cocktail in hand all night and spilt it all over everyone who was near her and carried on drinking it although it was empty, she didn't seem that drunk at the time. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur however I do recall going home. We phoned for a car and then went outside when it arrived. Liam got in first then Kelly crawled across the seat with her bum in the air and sat on top of Liam and resumed kissing him, then Jean got in and because I had no longing to sit in the front of the car listening to Kelly and Liam kiss whilst Jean was out of reach, I got in too. I found out in the morning that I paid the driver €20 to not complain about there being 4 people in the back and to just drive haha. Upon arriving at the hotel we all stumbled out of the car when we arrived back at the hotel and Kelly whispered at the top of her voice "Gentleman, let's try and look a little composed - this is the Ritz" despite the fact she was the most drunk, she then turned around and stumbled up the step. When we got to our rooms Kelly said "Kyle, do you have my key?" I told her I didn't and she sat on the floor outside my room and emptied her bag. Around 20 condoms came out along with makeup, her Blackberry, perfume, sunglasses, credit cards and screwed up money. She scrambled amongst the pile and then said "It appears to have been misplaced" a couple of about 30 years old then came down the corridor I instructed Kelly to get up and she merely put her sunglasses on and began putting her things back into her bag I asked "Why have you just put those on now?" and she replied "I imagine I look like a complete imbecile and I don't wish for this couple to remember me." I think the couple were also drunk (it's a bit of a haze) and as they passed Kelly she said "Good Evening" the man stopped and said "May we borrow a couple of those?" Kelly didn't acknowledge them until I said her name and she said "Oh I apologise, were you talking to me. You may take some, not borrow. I have no desire to have a used condom returned to me. Have a good evening on me" she handed the man some condoms and then we went inside. I imagine that isn't a conversation which happens on a regular basis within the Ritz, it is most probably unheard of. Once inside Kelly went running to the door which linked my room to hers, it was locked, she just turned around and said "Kyle, we're having the other bedroom dear. Goodnight." 


At about 6 o'clock, when I was asleep, the bedroom door came flying open, I shot up in bed and saw Kelly pulling herself up off the floor laughing. Once she'd managed to calm herself she said "My turn with Jean now" I still felt drunk and said "Kelly we finished about 15 minutes ago dear... Leave it a while" she said "I've not been to sleep at all yet dear.. What's he like?" I told her he was amazing and pulled back the covers to show his amazing body (and the rest); she stroked him haha and then said "I was hoping he would be like that. Come at look at mine" I asked "Your what?" and she said "My man" I followed her to the other bedroom where Liam was lay passed out in bed. Kelly whipped back the covers to reveal a naked Liam, he had a rather nice body, not quite as big as Jean or myself more like a swimmer but still very attractive. He was also very well equipped. Kelly dropped her dressing gown and climbed over Liam into bed and then said "Ok well I shall sleep for a little however do ensure he doesn't leave Kyle." 


I was woke up again at around midday by Jean kissing my neck and asking how I was. I rolled over to face him and felt the previous night's effects - major headache. I told him I wasn't good and he too felt the same. I got up and went to brush my teeth in order to rid my mouth of the repulsive morning-after-sex-and-alcohol taste and then went and lay down in the lounge with a bottle of water from the fridge. An hour or so later Kelly came out of her bedroom hunched over and said "I feel like death!" She went directly to the phone and ordered some room service.


Once I had eaten I no longer felt sick and due to the amount of water I had drank I no longer had a piercing headache. Kelly and Jean had gone to the bedroom so Kelly could have what she'd long awaited whilst Lee and I sat and watched the television. We got talking about Lee's personal training course which he was undergoing and I asked what physique he desired, he asked me to show him mine which I more than happily did and then asked if he could feel my muscles haha. I allowed him to do so and then he said "Ok" I looked at him blankly and said "Pardon?" he replied "We can do some stuff - not sex, but the rest we can" whether it was me stood there with no top on allowing him to feel my muscles or whether it was down to the unmistakable noise coming from the bedroom, I noticed Liam had an erection and it worked to my advantage haha. 


Once we'd finished I put on my tracksuit and waited for Jean so that we could go to the gym when somebody knocked on the door. I went and answered it and Gabrielle and Lee said "Surprise!" It most certainly was and a pleasant one at that. They both came in and Gabrielle immediately looked at Liam, she said "Good afternoon, I'm Gabrielle, Kyle's sister." He introduced himself and then she said "So what are you doing this evening Liam?" He told her he may go out again and her face lit up. She then asked me where Kelly was, I told her she was in the bedroom, stupidly thinking my sister would gather the fact that she was having sex. Instead she went wondering off to the bedroom and when she opened the door said "What's that banging Kelly?" She needn't answer as it was clear what the banging was as soon as Gabrielle opened the door, she just said "Oh" and came back to the lounge. I asked what she was doing here and she told me she was bored in London and wanted something to do over the weekend so she and Lee got a jet, she then said "Oh and guess what.. Mother wouldn't book me another room as she said she was already paying €8,000 a night for yours so she expected me to stay in here with you but that wasn't the reason at all because I complained at Dad and he said it's not because of the money and she hoped it would prevent you from having so much sex haha, I could barely contain myself so I just went along with it. I am not by the way sharing a suite with you, the thought of listening to you having sex is sickening, I'm going to have Lee's and he's going to share with you he said he doesn't mind however I personally think it is a little strange, a gay male and a straight male sharing a suite together" Lee overheard our conversation and said "Gabrielle it's fine, Kyle and I have had oral sex, it's nothing we've never seen of each other before" Gabrielle looked as though she was about to vomit and then I said "Was that completely necessary?" he said "Probably not no, however that expression on her face is rather comical.. I've slept with Gabrielle too" I now looked like I was about to vomit and Gabrielle looked shocked, Lee said "Oh perhaps a step too far then yes? Kyle I would appreciate it if you didn't punch me in the face at this moment in time, however I fully understand if you choose to do so." I noticed Gabrielle's unperfect hair and the creases in Lee's t-shirt and Gabrielle's blouse and realised what it was that they'd been doing on the flight to Paris. Kelly broke the tension by coming into the room with Jean and said "Why are you all stood with ridiculous looks on your faces?" Liam filled her in and then she said "Oh did neither of you know, Kyle I thought you didn't posses Gabrielle's stupidity gene but apparently you do. They've been sleeping together since New York. Elliot has too." I said "Ok, let's stop talking about who my sister has been sleeping with because quite frankly, I was happy being in the dark. Don't get me wrong Gabrielle, I am so proud of you becoming promiscuous like myself and I do not blame you for sleeping with Elliot and Lee as they are both rather good looking, however I would rather not know dear." I spent the rest of the afternoon in the gym, Jean and Liam didn't end up coming as they had other things to do however before leaving they said "We have both of your numbers so I shall text you when I arrive at the club." They left and Gabrielle said "Jesus, you must have been drunk!" 


I got back up to the suite at about 6 and went into the bathroom, where Lee was showering, to ask what the arrangements for this evening were, he told me that we were meeting up with Jean and Liam in the same club I had met them in the previous night. After telling me I went to go and take a shower myself when he said "Would you like to join me?" I said "No not really" he then said "Come on Kyle.. You know you want to, I'll return the favour..." My sex life was more important to me than having a punctual arrival at a night club so I did. It was rather beneficial actually, I was showering and satisfying my needs at the same time... Spiffing! I finally put on a Jean Paul Gaultier outfit which consisted of some platinum (or bronze/silver/ grey - I don't know really) coloured tailored pants and a black and beige fine check V neck, my new Chanel J12 Clibre watch and some boots which were rather like wellies actually, however everybody complemented my outfit and seeing as I copied it exact from the catwalk - I deemed it fashionable. As Gabrielle was also running late due to a hair extension issue I met her in the foyer so we could take a car together. She was dressed in a bronze dress which had a black organza over the top and a belt around the middle by Marc Jacobs, some black suede shoes which had a gold jewels where they covered the toe by Valentino, a gold Zagliani clutch, a Joan Hornig cuff which she wore around her bicep as opposed to her wrist and a Henry Dunay ring. Lee came from the direction of the bar dressed in a silver/grey shirt a black cardigan and black pants, all by Armani Collezioni... I had wore the exact same outfit that week.


Once inside the club Lee bought me a Dissarano and Coke while Gabrielle and I went to find Kelly and the men. It wasn't hard to locate them within the heaving club due to Kelly's outfit choice; she was wearing a bright purple Ralph Lauren Black Label dress which had a huge bow on the back with black tights and black Miu Miu shoes. When we got to the table I took a seat next to Jean who looked gorgeous in a grey knitted V neck with black pants. Kelly had her interests in someone else this evening who, thankfully, also spoke Elish and Gabrielle went directly to Liam. Lee brought mine and Gabrielle's drinks over and had 2 girls with him already, he asked if anyone would be joining him and his new found friends on the dance floor which we all did and caused minor speculation whilst there. Gabrielle very audibly shouted to Kelly "What on earth are those girls wearing... There is promiscuous and then there is slut, the latter is achieved by the hideous dress sense and personality the girl possess' " I think she thought they were fFrenchrench but apparently they weren't, they heard every word of what Gabrielle bellowed and said "Snotty bitch" before walking off, Gabrielle said "Imbecile, I do not have mucus! Sorry Lee" he shrugged and said "They weren't that attractive anyway, besides there is a girl at the bar who has been staring at me for a while. Do excuse me.." Following this, about 10 minutes later, Gabrielle and Kelly were getting groped from behind by an ugly man and hit his hands away on numerous occasions which he chose to ignore. Gabrielle then purposely stamped on his toe with her heel, it wasn't until the man began shouting at her in French english that I noticed, at which point Kelly was pointing in his face and saying "How dare you speak to her like that!" The man who Kelly had been dancing with was now staring at the man as was Liam so I went over. When I got there Kelly was taking of her shoe (as they do - it works as a weapon) Liam was saying "Just walk away" the man replied (I think he was on drugs) "Oh here's another one... What's wrong with a bit of dancing with these two girls?" The man whom Kelly had been dancing with butted in and said "That was groping, not dancing" he said "This is groping" and touched both of their boobs at the same time - I clenched my fist and brought back my arm in preparation to punch him however Gabrielle's fist went flying across his nose before I could do so followed my Kelly's heel across his head. People were now staring and the man's nose began to bleed, he shouted "You bitch" and pushed Gabrielle who Jean caught, more or less as soon as he did so I dived in head first and head butted him on the nose, he went stumbling backwards, stood back upright and then came running back at me. I thought what on earth are you doing you are clearly going to loose this I ducked as he swung his arm to hit me and went running into my tense body and, as a result, flying onto the floor. I straddled him and pushed his face side wards onto the floor with my fist and said "Are you going to stop this?" He told me to get off him so I pushed a little harder and said "Answer my question..." he said "Ok, get off!" I did so and he stood up and said "Twat!" I wanted to hit him again but Gabrielle's foot came flying up and kicked him directly in the face. I looked at her and she was stood on one leg with the other outstretched in front of her (knee bent - ready to kick again) level with the man's face, she said "How dare you speak to my brother like that!" It seems that ballet isn't just useful for dancing and showing off haha. 


The club's security came over and made us all leave the club. The man's face was bloody, one side of his face was dirty and he had a red patch on his cheek where Gabrielle's heel had made it's impact. The manager saw us in the club's entrance and said (in english) "I want you all out, now!" Kelly walked over and said "My friend you have just lost an awful lot of business. Each of us posses' one of these and would be prepared to spend rather large sums on each visit" she showed him her black American express and he no longer looked angry, she continued "yes, that expression says it all. If you ran a respectable establishment perhaps you would be used to seeing such things as these, however granting entrance to such scum" she looked at the man "and to those dressed without even a miniscule amount of respect for themselves is enough to repel anyone who has any class what so ever. So, you needn't ask me to leave as, having class, I have no desire to be in such a hideous venue any longer and nor shall I, or any of my upper-class companions, be returning or some cases, coming at all." 


When we got outside Gabrielle and Kelly hugged me and said "Thank you dear" then Kelly said "If you don't feel like staying out we can go back to the hotel and I can show my gratitude there.." I told her I was fine and would rather just go elsewhere. We phoned The Ritz and got cars to V.I.P room, an exclusive night club which would not have such horrible clientele such as those who'd been in Rex, where we had just come from... Only good looking, well dressed people with money get into places like that. The atmosphere was better as soon as we got into the club and due to us using our contacts, went straight in and took seats around a circular table in the centre of the room. Gabrielle and I got drinks for everyone and as soon as I had drunk mine I could feel it going straight to my head. I was clearly still somewhat intoxicated from the previous night and I was once again, on my way to becoming drunk... Judging by Kelly's hyperactivity she had already reached drunk. 


An hour or so later we were all drunk, Gabrielle and Liam looked as though they wanted to have sex that very second, Kelly was being awfully loud and entertaining the whole table, I was talking to Jean (who was impressed by my performance with the man in Rex) and although I hadn't seen Lee for the past hour, he was the only one of us who didn't have somebody sat around the table, I presumed he was drunk too. When he finally came to our table it seemed my presumption was correct; he tripped up the step onto the table he said "Oh blimey.. Well ladies and gentleman, I shall be leaving now as I have 2 eager ladies who I simply must spend the night with. Kyle, who will you be taking home?" I told him Jean and he said "Oh marvellous, that's all I need. Two enormous muscle men going at it all night long, it seems I shan't be sleeping tonight.." I said "Well you have two ladies to keep you going Lee, I'm sure you will be fine, however do feel free to join us" I winked at him and he laughed. The rest of us decided we'd have one last drink and dance before leaving, Liam bought us all drinks and we headed to the dance floor. The last dance turned into an hour session on the dance floor, the drinks seemed to take immediate effect and we had a miniature dance-off within the group - it came down to Gabrielle and Jean and Gabrielle inevitably won.


When we got back to the hotel there was nobody in the Lobby what so ever except for staff - Gabrielle went over to the reception desk and asked if they had any condoms in their first aid box, the lady behind the desk held back her desire to burst out laughing and said "I am sorry but unfortunately we do not have those in our first aid box, I do believe that if you ask the concierge he will provide you with some." I told her I had plenty and we all piled into the lift. When I got into the room I went and told Lee I was back - I wanted to see what the girls were like really, however only one was visible, the one who he was kissing and groping... The other was beneath the covers. I went into my bedroom to find Jean sprawled out in the bed in his tight fitting underwear - I shall stop now, this is beginning to sound a little pornographic. To cut a long story short I had another amazing night with Jean and plus an amazing morning. Gabrielle phoned me at 9, just 4 hours after I'd gone to sleep, and sounded rather rough when she told me that she had a jet booked for 2 p.m., I told her I would go home today however would be driving due to having Kelly's car here with me. So whilst Jean went to the gym in the hotel I packed up my many belongings. I had been posting things home whilst I had been here for a while now so it only took me about an hour and a half to get everything together. I put on a pair of Rock & Republic jeans with a black Michael Kors cashmere shawl collar jumper, some patent black high top YSL trainers, my black diamond encrusted Chanel J12 watch and some vintage mirrored aviators. 


I managed to get 3 holdalls into the boot of Kelly's car and placed 2 cases on Jean whilst I drove him to his work. I wrote him down in my little black book - Paris before I forgot and began the gruelling drive back to London. I ended up driving to Calais which took about 3 hours. Then I drove the car into the train thing and waited inside it whilst passing people admired the car and a huge group of school children crowded around it on their way to and from the powder room. Once that endurance was over with I then took the 2 hour journey into London. When I got into London I went and filled Kelly's car back up with petrol and then took it to her house where I would reclaim my Audi, however Kelly's parents had already dropped it off at my hotel whilst we were away so I waited in Kelly's house for my mum to come and collect me. I went back to their house for a while and fell to sleep in the drawing room and then Jake (their chef) made us all a Sunday dinner which I ate before going home. 


I haven't done much since being back in London. On the Tuesday after my return home my mother made me go to the doctors for HIV and Sti tests. I did so without fuss and whilst I sat in the waiting room Gabrielle walked in also. I started laughing and she sat down in a mood and said "She made me come for one too!" I had Hepatitis B and C, HIV, Gonorrhoea, Chlamydia and Syphilis. I hate them, they always seem awkward, the lady was fairly old and asked "Do you have oral sex?" Yes "Do you have anal sex?" Yes "So you sleep with men" Yes "Do you sleep with women also?" Yes, I didn't see how that one was relevant really then she said "Are you in a relationship?" No "Have you been in one over the past year?" No "How many sexual partners have you had over the past 6 months?" This was the bit I despised, I said "About 5 a week" she continued "For the past 6 months?" Yes.. She asked a few others and then did the tests. I was told I would be able to get the results within 24 hours (the benefits of private healthcare) which I did and was negative for them all, as was Gabrielle. 


Also on Friday I went out for a meal with Brian Friedman and Gabrielle. Brian is a choreographer from America however is in London due to being the creative director of X-Factor. Gabrielle knows him from her dancing days and went and spent the day with him in The Pineapple dance studios dancing. I drove down there at about 3 in the afternoon and watched them doing lifts and spinning on one toe etc. They weren't dancing ballet (which Gabrielle does best) they were doing Jazz dances however Gabrielle still excelled in this field. We dined out in the evening at The Ivy and caught up, I hadn't seen Brian for years so it was nice to see him. Ever since Gabrielle has been prancing around the house and seems to constantly have a leg in the air or be spinning around haha. 


This weekend just gone my parents went to Monaco to see 'The Greens' I have no idea why they call them that, however they were referring to Phillip and Christina Green whom some of the UK's largest retailers including Topshop. Whilst my father played tennis with Phillip and the Prince of Monaco and my mother shopped with Tina Gabrielle and I hosted a miniature party at our parents home. It was rather fun and we strategically sent bottles of Cristal to the neighbours apologising for the noise in the hope that they wouldn't tell our parents haha. 


Yet again I have managed to produce a short story haha. 

Much love, 

Kyle.